Taking a deep breath, I relish in the late afternoon breeze while I stalk over to my house. We have one of the large houses in the two rows built on club property. The first row is where the couples of the first generation live. We have the first house in the second row and it’s right across from Deeds and Lynn’s house.
The moment I step inside the comfort of home hits me, but the emptiness is cutting. Archer is out handling business, our daughter is with her grandparents who are a blessing and always willing to help, and yet I’m here with my heart in my hands while my brain is running twenty miles an hour.
I drag my feet up the stairs and head for the bathroom. Throwing my gym clothes into the hamper, I turn the water on and step underneath the stream before waiting for the water to heat up. Punishment for the sake of this fucked-up world yanking on my emotions.
“I hate everything,” I grumble, a sob ripping from my chest with my next breath.
My tears wash away until they disappear down the drain. I’m like a bouncing ball of emotions. Barely pulling myself together, I quickly wash up and turn off the shower to dry myself off. The towel disappears into the hamper and I stalk into the bedroom naked.
Eying the bed, another longing hits me. Sex. Affection. Closeness. One, all. When the hell did life become complicated? Adulting most definitely sucks and I know family, work, and keeping your head up is all part of the deal life hands you, but come on. I need a damn moment in time to catch my breath.
My hand reaches into the drawer with my underwear and I stare at all the items as a sense of irony hits me. Months ago, I only owned sexy lingerie and now? Black granny panties because comfort is a priority when you have to stroll through the living room comforting a kid with cramps.
“It is me,” I grumble in realization and stubbornly grab a pair of silk panties.
Searching for a matching bra, I wrestle to get myself in a pair of jeans I wore before I got pregnant but reluctantly give up when I feel like a tuna fish in a freaking can. Throwing the jeans in the direction of the trashcan I grab a pair of sweatpants and a sweater. Dressing quickly, I snatch my purse from the table and rush out of the house.
I was supposed to visit my parents but decide against it. What I need are some new clothes in an effort to make me feel better. It’s a state of mind I’ve let myself get sucked into. I need a distraction and I haven’t bought myself anything in months. Maybe I need to go back to work.
Before I became Archer’s old lady I was working with my mother handling computer stuff for their MC. But since I’m now Broken Deeds MC I cannot touch anything Areion Fury MC related. And because Broken Deeds MC already has their own computer expert…I’m practically fiddling my skilled thumbs.
Yes, I was okay with just doing the volunteer work I was doing–visiting elderly people for a quick chat or helping with whatever they need–but I stopped two months before I had Queenie and never picked it back up.
Queenie. A nickname Archer gave our daughter the first time he laid eyes on her. Her full name is Elizabeth Apis Lawson. Apis is latin for bee, the nickname Archer gave me. It’s kinda sentimental because my dad always calls my mom Bug. Shit. My parents. I should have called them to let them know I won’t be swinging by.
I park in front of the mall and my phone starts to ring. When I check I notice it’s my mother.
“Hey, mom,” I answer cheerfully.
“Hey sweetie. Are you on your way? If so, can you pick up the new laptop Class put together for me?”
Loving the sound of her request for different reasons, I blurt without thinking, “Would you mind if he put a new one together for you? I’d love to buy this one for myself and get back into the swing of things. Having a laptop of my own would be a necessity.”
Silence is all that greets me.
My mother sighs. “And what kind of swing would that be?”
“I don’t know yet, but I have to start somewhere and a good laptop is my first step. Then I can see if I’ll get back to programming assignments or maybe…I have no clue yet.”
“There will be a tracker in the one I had Class put together for me, but you’re free to have that one and I’ll ask him to build me a new one. And, Beatrice? I’m happy to hear you’re giving yourself some attention. I wasn’t going to say anything, but these past few months I’ve seen you focus on everything and everyone but you’re forgetting yourself, sweetie. Getting back into the swing of things as you so gracefully put it might be just what you need.”
“And new pants. I can’t even fit into a pair of jeans, Mom,” I sigh a tad overdramatically.
“Please, my ass doubled in size after I had you. Your body will adjust, and for now you need to get yourself some fancy clothes. Don’t forget to pick up your new laptop. And coffee, treat yourself to some fancy coffee. Oh, and bring my granddaughter by later this week. I need to squeeze her cheeks.”
A chuckle rips from me and before I hang up, I promise to swing by later this week with Queenie. Feeling a little lighter, I grab my purse, lock the car, and head into the mall. I have some shopping to do before I pick up my new laptop.
Two hours pass and I’m wearing my new jeans when I stroll into Lynn and Deeds’ house to pick up Queenie. I’ve already dropped off the bags and my laptop at home before I came here. Deeds is in the living room, sitting in front of the couch with Queenie leaning against him as she’s holding onto his fingers while they’re both staring at cartoons flashing on the TV.
“Hey baby,” I coo and squat down next to them.
Deeds lifts her up for me to take and I nuzzle my daughter, breathing in her sweet baby scent.
“You look good,” Deeds compliments.
“She looks hawt,” Lynn says as she strolls out of the kitchen, flicking my ass with the dishtowel she was drying her hands on. “Are you staying for dinner? Archer called to tell you he needed to handle something and it’ll be an all-nighter.”
“Of course,” I grumble and take a deep breath in an effort to let my grumpiness fade with Queenie’s scent.
“Deeds, can you go away?” Lynn orders.
Deeds’ eyes widen. “What?”
“Can’t you see your son is fucking up again? I’ll handle it, and you need to leave since I can’t trash talk men in general without stepping on your dick.” Lynn shoots him a “Duh” look.
Deeds cups himself, glares at his woman and stalks out of the room. The only thing for me to do is laugh and shake my head. These two are so weird and yet perfect for each other. And to think they have been together for decades and have been through so much.
“It’s hard, I know,” Lynn starts. “Not just men being an asshole part. They just don’t see us worry about things while managing all the stuff thrown at our, and their feet. But let me tell you something. I’ve been where you are for many years, and being the old lady of the president of an MC is hard. The club comes first and with the dynamics of everything it’s tough to deal with life at full speed. But being the old lady of the president of Broken Deeds MC also comes with the angle of danger and responsibilities from the cases they handle. Even after barely a year swinging the gavel, Archer is still getting in the routine of things, and it’s taking all of his time while he tries to be there for you and Queenie.”
“You’re not telling me anything I don’t know.” I nuzzle Queenie and give the woman I’ve known all my life a sad smile.
Lynn is the sister of Zack, the president of Areion Fury MC. She’s the one who tied these MCs together all those years ago. Lynn and Blue–Zack’s old lady–were neighbors as kids and they’ve been best friends ever since.
“All I do is think and get frustrated and in the end I can’t even pinpoint what I’m angry or frustrated about. Today I decided I wanted a change and when my mom asked me to pick up a laptop, I asked if I could buy it instead.”
“Smart woman,” Lynn compliments. “When Deeds and I first got together I was bored out of my mind too. And I don’t mean to sound like you’re sitting on your thumb with the lit
tle one you’re holding but you, my sweet child, have a magnificent brain, like your mother. It would be a shame not to put it to work. Ask Archer if he has something nerdy for you to do. That’s clearly two birds, one stone and all; helping your man and the club while finding another way to chew off some of his attention since he needs to divide his chunk over all of the stuff he needs to do.”
I instantly start to shake my head. “I offered him the first months we were together. His sharp reply made it very clear Ganza is the computer guy for Broken Deeds MC, and he has it under control.”
Lynn holds her hand up. “That might be so but you’ve been here longer now. You were pregnant when you asked him and he didn’t want the two clubs mixing with everything going on. The two of you didn’t exactly start with everyone knowing about it. Dams freaking out about you two getting pregnant and married all within a few weeks’ time.” Lynn releases a deep sigh. “It’s all in the past now, but you can imagine how Archer taking over as the president due to a CIA investigation and renewing contracts for us working with the government and solving cases does cause issues when there’s a dispute with another MC. Like I said, the situation is different now.”
I place a kiss on Queenie’s head. It’s all settled now because of her; being pregnant at the time, and Archer marrying me to show them what we had was a forever deal. It was why my father saw reason and buried his grudge.
“You’re right. Well, I have my new laptop and I’m going to work on a code first to get my fingers and brain fired up. I just need a distraction. Maybe I’ll bug Ganza and ask him if he has issues with anything. He likes cracking games and other stuff for fun.”
Lynn holds out her hands and smiles at Queenie, who in return leans back with her arms out to get to her grandma. Lynn takes her from me and blows a raspberry on her neck, making Queenie giggle.
“That’s a start. And I like seeing you in jeans, showing off those sexy curves.” Lynn shoots me a wink.
Without thinking I blurt, “It all started when I picked lace panties instead of comfy granny panties.”
Lynn throws her head back and laughs. “Welcome to the mom club, where being comfortable is the priority over sexiness. You know, because our men rip off any barrier to get us naked without looking anyway. But you go, girl. I bet that will snag Archer’s attention too. But most of all? It makes you feel normal and sexy again. And besides being the president’s old lady, and a mom, you deserve a little of being just you.”
I brush the tip of my finger along Queenie’s cheek. “Since she came into this world the days have blurred from one into the other.”
“And you’ve only dropped her here a few hours here and there the last couple of weeks. Basically, only when you wanted to punch away some of your frustrations. It doesn’t hurt to get some you time, Bee. Maybe think of daycare, or drop her here, or at your parents’ some more to let you focus on work or do whatever you want. I know you’re not the type of girl to party, but a night out dancing might be fun.”
I give my mother-in-law a thankful smile. “I’ll think about it. Though the night out isn’t my thing, never was. But I know what you mean.”
Another weight falls from my shoulders and for the first time in months I feel as if I’m slowly moving forward instead of falling deeper into darkness.
CHAPTER TWO
– ARCHER –
“I knew I’d find you in here,” my woman says as I hear the door to my office fall shut behind her.
I close the file in front of me and rub my eyes as I grumble. “What time is it?”
“Two in the morning.” Her voice is right beside me and I release a string of curses as I stand and watch how she places the baby monitor on my desk.
I cup her face and take in her beauty. Even with the dark circles underneath her eyes and her honey colored hair pulled up in a messy bun, this woman is a sight to behold. I’ve always loved her. In some way as kids growing up, more as teenagers, and finally in every way once we were adults; she was only ever meant to be mine.
Glancing down I now notice her legs are wrapped in something other than sweatpants or leggings. I take a step back and let my eyes feast on her curvy appearance wrapped in tight blue jeans.
“You look stunning,” I croak, realizing how long it’s been since she did something as simple as putting on jeans.
And I know it’s been awhile because I notice every single thing about her. Especially the change in her mood lately. Though she hides it well and you wouldn’t notice a thing when she’s around Queenie. I know I’m mostly to blame with work and the club eating away my time.
“Mind telling me what was bugging you this afternoon?”
She traces her fingers along my desk to avoid my gaze when she admits, “I’ve been struggling with myself. I think I need a distraction.”
I nod, understanding completely. Queenie, the house, everything around us demands her attention and she never fucking complains or asks for anything but I notice how it swallows her whole, leaving nothing for herself. She used to do a lot of volunteer work before we got together.
She also did some computer stuff for the MC her parents are a part of, and she did ask me if I needed her skills within Broken Deeds MC. With all the changes going on at the time and Bee pregnant I turned her down. So, I do understand she misses something with her having different activities before we were together compared to now.
“Do you want to volunteer again?” I question.
She shakes her head. “I bought a new laptop today.”
Her eyes fucking twinkle and I am such a damn idiot to suggest volunteering instead of bringing up the talent she inherited from her mother.
“A stuffy standard one?” I tease, knowing from Ganza he rarely buys one off the rack and always wants to build his own.
The grin she gives me lights up her whole face. “Nope. My mother asked Class to build her one and wanted me to pick it up for her before I came by to see them. I did pick it up, but she let me buy it for myself and ordered a new one for her.”
“That works,” I muse when my eyes slide to the file on my desk. A thought hits me. “Want to help me with something?”
If I thought the smile lit up her face a moment ago, I was wrong. The prospect of helping me is the kind of gratification that’s bright as fuck and hits me straight in the damn chest.
“Yes! I’d love to make myself useful.”
My hands are now surrounding her face as I keep her in place to slam my lips over hers. Fucking hell, it’s been way too long. She greedily opens for me and when our tongues meet it’s as if electricity is set loose in my veins, hotwiring my dick along with it.
There’s a crackling sound and Bee instantly pulls back. A deep sigh rips from her throat when she picks up the baby monitor from my desk. “Sorry…I have to–”
“I’m coming with you, we’ll talk things through when we’re home once we have Queenie back to sleep, okay?” I grab the file from my desk and follow Bee out of my office.
The main room in the clubhouse is crowded. Wyatt is behind the bar, a hangaround is leaning over, tits on show, in an effort to grab his attention. It won’t work, though. Wyatt is the odd one around here. He might flirt but he never touches the women who offer themselves freely. He’s either a saint or is saving himself for the right girl, who knows? But it’s his business.
Cora steps in front of me. “Hey Archer. Did you…you know…what we discussed.”
She tries to make it fucking seem as if we have a damn secret. I might be president and am very aware of the stray pussy wanting some dick and the free dicks around here wanting them around, but I ain’t one of them. There’s only ever been Bee and I hate insinuations or women wanting to mess with something good; something I’ll never allow.
I’ve had enough of that today, and it’s for this reason I snap, “I went by Zuri’s house at your request to check up on her. We talked for about twenty minutes and when I left she seemed better.” I lean in and growl underneath my breath, “I set
her straight and I’m giving you the same warning: don’t mess with my life. You won’t like it if I get pissed. Understood?”
Cora tips her nose into the air. “I didn’t do anything wrong, Archer.”
Her gaze goes to Bee, and the way she voiced the sentence just now? It insinuates I did shit. Fucking bitch.
“First warning, Cora. And you know what that means.”
She swallows hard and nods, scurrying her spandex-ass out of my sight. I place my hand on Bee’s lower back and guide her out. Once the fresh air hits my lungs, I feel the anger fade.
“I think she fell back to sleep,” Bee says as we almost reach our house.
One thing I’ve always loved about our strong bond is the fact my woman never doubts me. Bitches like to stir trouble but Bee knows I would never stray. Even if the last few months have been hard with the new baby, keeping the tattoo shop up and running, new cases thrown into the club’s lap, and old cases giving me heartburn.
No sex for months and yet we’re still solid. And I know I’m to blame since I’m always busy, and yet this woman doesn’t complain. Fuck. I’m an idiot. Closing the door behind us, she instantly goes up to check on our daughter. I throw the file on the table and rub a hand over the back of my neck. Movement catches my attention and I watch how Bee slowly descends the stairs.
“Sleeping like the queen she is.” The corner of her mouth twitches. “Did you want something to drink? A snack?”
“Let’s go over this first.” I point at the file and let my hand slide to the couch to indicate for her to take a seat.
Sitting down in the chair across from her, I start to explain, “Cora wanted me to swing by Zuri’s. I’ve explained it to you, right?”
Sadness overtakes her gorgeous face. “Galen was killed right before we got together. Zuri was his old lady, you’re taking care of her because it’s the right thing to do.”
“She came on to me today.” A sigh rips from me and I rub my fingers in my eyes, feeling very damn tired. “I set her straight and she started to cry and apologize. Putting the blame on loneliness.”
Broken Deeds MC: Second Generation #1 Page 2