by Willow Rose
“Mom, are you all right? Speak to me, Mommy!”
You gotta say something. The girl is scared. Seeing you like this. Say something to calm her down.
Shannon opened her eyes wide and looked at her daughter. Her beautiful Angela. The love of her life. The only beautiful thing in her life. The one thing she had done right.
“Hi, sweetie.”
“Mommy. What happened? Are you hurt?”
With much effort, Shannon sat up on the kitchen floor. She leaned her head on the cupboards behind her. So much pain.
“Mommy must have fallen,” she said, and felt blood on her fingers when she touched her face.
“Again?” Angela said.
“Yeah. Again.”
“You’re so clumsy, Mommy,” Angela said. She grabbed a towel and wet it. Then she put ice cubes inside of it and handed it to Shannon. She did it with such expertise and experience that it terrified Shannon.
“Thanks, sweetie,” she said.
“Where is Daddy?” Angela asked. “Do you want me to call him?”
“No. No. Don’t disturb him. I’m fine. Really. I just need to…to rest my head a little bit.”
Angela sat down next to her. “I’ve been thinking,” she said with that grown-up voice of hers.
Too grown-up for a six-year-old.
“Maybe you shouldn’t be left at home alone anymore. You get hurt all the time. I think it would be best if there was someone with you. Last week it was the stairs, remember?”
Shannon drew in a deep breath. She remembered too well. And so did Angela, apparently. She was getting too old. It wouldn’t be long before she figured out what was really going on.
Did you really think you could hide it from her forever?
She didn’t. But she had hoped it would get better with time. She had hoped Joe would get better, that it would all blow over and he would stop being so angry with her. For a long time, she had tried to change it by changing herself, by being nicer and staying away from things that made him angry, but now she knew it didn’t matter how she behaved. It wasn’t going to change.
“You know what? Maybe you’re right,” she said. “Maybe you and I should take a trip somewhere soon. What do you say?”
Angela’s face lit up. “That sounds awesome, Mom.”
Shannon sighed and grabbed the edge of the kitchen counter. She pulled herself up, while her daughter tried to help her. She had been thinking about doing this for many months. Now was the time.
“I better go do my homework,” Angela said, and jumped for the stairs.
Shannon stopped her halfway up. “Hey, sweetie.”
“Yes, Mom?”
“Not a word to Dad, all right? Not a word about the trip, okay?”
She nodded while biting her lip.
She knows. Oh, God, she knows, doesn’t she?
“All right, Mom.”
Chapter Thirteen
January 2015
It was dark before I made it back to the motel to pick up the kids. I had missed dinnertime, but my mom had made a plate for me that she heated in the microwave of the small restaurant that was attached to the motel.
The place was called Motel Albert. They had named it after my dad, Albert Ryder, since it was his big dream that had come true. It was located right between A1A and the beach. The rooms were small, but not too shabby. The restaurant at the end of the building had a deck on the beach side where people could sit, have a hotdog or a fish burger, and watch the waves and the dolphins if they were lucky. I loved the place and so did my kids. They could play on the beach for hours and hours nonstop. They were like fish in the water, and I had slowly started to teach them how to surf as well. Abigail was by far the better of them, since she was the daredevil and never afraid of anything, whereas Austin was a lot more careful type. Emily refused to even try, but I kept asking her anyway. At sixteen years of age, everything is lame, apparently. I wasn’t giving up on her, though. I had surfed all of my life, and I wanted all of them to have the gift of surfing in their lives as well. I never missed a good swell. The waves in Ft. Lauderdale, where I grew up, weren’t as good as they were here in Cocoa Beach. This was heaven for me, and I hoped it would be for my kids as well.
“Tough day, huh?” my mom, Sherri Ryder, asked when I reached for a second portion of fish tacos. She had made them herself, and there was no better on the beach. She knew I couldn’t stop eating when I had a lot on my mind. I used to be a lot bigger when I worked back in Miami. Since I moved to Cocoa Beach I had lost around twenty pounds, just because I surfed more and ate healthier. Plus, I rarely stressed, so I didn’t overeat. I wasn’t in the best shape of my life, but it was getting a lot better. I looked good, I believed. Still had all of my hair, even though my mom thought it was too long and curly for a man in the force.
“Yes,” I said. “I mean, I know this stuff happens everywhere; it’s just so shocking to see it here in Cocoa Beach.”
I sipped my beer, made by the local brewery that my mother had a deal with. I enjoyed the local beers. I had one more. The twins came rushing towards me, closely followed by their granddad, who was skipping to keep up with them. He became such a child around them. It amused me. At the age of seventy-five, he was still very agile. He had always taken very good care of his body. He’d been running for most of his life. I hadn’t been good to myself over the years. I hoped to have half of his health in ten years.
“Daaad!” they yelled.
I looked at my dad, who was smiling from ear to ear. There was nothing in this world he enjoyed more than spending time with the twins. “They’re too fast,” he said panting. “We were playing tag in the back, and I can’t catch them.”
I laughed and made room for him to sit next to me on the wooden bench. We were sitting outside on the porch, overlooking the dark ocean. The sun had set an hour ago, but I could hear the waves. They were picking up. We were supposed to get a really big swell later in the week. I, for one, hoped I could get time to catch some.
“Where’s Emily?” I asked.
“She’s in the TV room watching some show I don’t understand half of,” my mom said. “Why are vampires such a big deal now?”
I chuckled and shook my head. “I don’t know, Mom.”
“Anyway, she says you let her watch it, but I really don’t think young girls should watch things like that.”
“It’s her thing, Mom. Let her,” I said.
My mother didn’t look like she wanted to. “I’m just saying it,” she said shaking her head. “She needs to know how to be careful what she fills herself with.”
“So, you had a tough day, I hear?” My dad interrupted. “We saw it on the news.”
I nodded while removing some lettuce from between my teeth. “Yeah, I noticed the choppers earlier. I bet they’re all over it.”
“What about that poor kid?” my mom asked. “How is ever going to get through life?”
It was typical of my mother to think about the kid. Kids had been her whole life. She was a kindergarten teacher for twenty-something years and adored all children. A lot more than she adored adults.
I wondered how much they had said about the case on the news. Had they told people that the body was partly dismembered? Weasel had been in charge of making the statements and had called for a press conference the next day. At City Hall, they were terrified that this was going to affect tourism. I couldn’t blame them. The tourists meant everything around here. Especially at this time of year. The snowbird season. It meant jobs. It meant security for people. Ever since they stopped the Space Shuttle program, thousands of people had lost their jobs and the real estate market had plummeted. People lost a lot of money on their houses. They recently started a new project out at the Space Center, and they were still launching rockets every now and then, but the area had been bleeding for years. It wasn’t only people who had worked on the shuttle that were hurt. Everyone else was too. Hundreds of thousands tourists would usually come to watch a launch, and that mea
nt a lot of money for the hotels, the restaurants, and shops. It helped a little that the cruise ships were booming, but the prices on houses were low, and lots of people were still out of work. My parents had felt it too. They used to have the motel packed several times a year when a shuttle was launched, and now they barely made ends meet.
“I don’t know, Mom,” I said and finished my beer. “We can only hope for the best.”
“You’ll catch him,” my mom said. “You’ll get the guy, and then everything will go back to normal again.”
I chuckled. My mother had such great confidence in me; it was sweet. She never did like the fact that I was a detective or on the police force. Especially not when I worked in Miami. She feared for my life every day. I couldn’t blame her. I didn’t want any of my kids in the force either. But I happened to like my job. Not today, but most days.
Chapter Fourteen
January 2015
“I think we’ll head home now,” I said, and kissed my mom on the cheek. “Thanks for dinner; it was great, as always.”
“We need to change a light bulb in room one-eleven. Could you do that before you leave? You know how your dad is with ladders. I don’t like him climbing on them.”
“I got it,” I said.
I found a new bulb in the cupboard behind the bar, then grabbed the ladder and went into room one-eleven and changed it. I did all I could to help out around the motel. My parents were getting older, and it was harder and harder for them to keep up with the maintenance. It was the least I could do, with all the help they gave me. As my way of saying thanks, I devoted my weekends to helping them out. That way, the kids got to play with their grandparents too, so it was a win-win.
I looked at the twins, who were drawing on one of the tables in the restaurant. They were sitting underneath it and drawing on the bottom. Luckily, my parents hadn’t noticed. I cleared my throat.
“Abigail, Austin. We need to go home. Emily?” I called through the window.
“What?” she answered.
“We’re going home.”
“Finally,” she said.
I heard the TV shut off, then the sound of her dragging feet across the ground. She came out. She looked odd with her big army-boots and black outfit in this heat.
I smiled. “How was your day?”
She shrugged indifferently. “Fine, I guess.” She grabbed her backpack and put it on. I wanted to give her a hug, but was afraid it would come off as awkward. Instead, I turned to face the twins. “I said we were leaving.”
“Aw, we were having so much fun,” Abigail said.
Austin crawled out from under the table and walked to me. “It wasn’t my idea,” he said, and handed me the crayon. “I know,” I said. “Abigail. Get out from under there, now, young lady.”
“Wait a second. I just need to finish this.”
Was she kidding me?
“Abigail. Now.”
She sighed and rolled her eyes. Six years of age and already a teenager. “All right, all right. I’m coming.”
We walked to the car and greeted one of the guests of the motel. Harry was his name. He had been a guest for a month or so now. A snowbird. We had a lot of those. They came down from the north and stayed all winter.
“Nice evening?” I said, as we passed him.
He nodded and smiled at the children. “Yes, indeed. Gonna be a beautiful day tomorrow, don’t you think?”
“Definitely.”
No one discussed the weather as much as snowbirds. They came to keep warm in the winter, while the snow and cold roamed up north and made it miserable for people. Harry petted the children on their heads, then went on towards the beach. An older couple, Mr. and Mrs. Miller, who were also regulars and came every winter, got out of their car and walked towards the rooms. I nodded in greeting as I passed them, and we talked about the weather as well before they disappeared into their room. I was so happy for people like Harry and the Millers. They were the ones who let my parents earn enough money to be able to keep the motel.
I put the kids in the car and drove next door to the place where I had rented a condo. It was also right on the beach, and in walking distance of my parents’ place. It was in South Cocoa Beach, in the more secluded part of town. I, for one, loved it here. Arianna hadn’t liked it much. She thought it was too small…nothing really happened here, she always said.
That was what I liked about it.
“Can we watch TV before we go to bed, Dad, please?” Abigail asked with big pleading eyes.
“Okay,” I said, as we walked towards the complex. I opened the front door and let the munchkins storm in and fight over who should hit the button for the elevator. “But only for half an hour,” I said on the way up, when they had finally quieted down. Abigail had naturally won the fight. She always did. She was the big sister and had beat her brother into this world by fifty-eight seconds. She had been beating him ever since.
“Aw,” Abigail pleaded. “Can’t we say one hour instead?”
I sighed and opened the door to the condo. I looked at my watch. It was going to be late. “Okay.” I said. “If you brush your teeth and put on your PJs first.”
The kids didn’t hear that last part before they stormed inside and threw themselves on the couch and turned the TV on. Emily went to her room and shut the door without a word, while the theme song to SpongeBob filled the living room. Each of the twins grabbed an iPad and started playing while watching TV.
The new generation of multitaskers.
I shook my head and sat next to them, and soon after, the iPads were put away and I had both kids on my lap.
Chapter Fifteen
September 1984
She never told anyone what had happened to her. She was too ashamed, too scared of what would happen if she did. So, Annie kept it to herself. She didn’t remember much. She couldn’t recall the details, but she believed she had been raped. She just wasn’t sure if it had all been a dream. She had woken up in the grass by the lake the next morning, but hadn’t been able to remember what had happened. But, as the days passed, little by little, she remembered bits and pieces. She knew she had been with Tim. And she knew she was badly bruised when she woke up. She covered the marks with make-up and stayed away from her friends for weeks afterwards. She even avoided Julia and told her she wasn’t feeling well. She didn’t want to have to answer her questions. She didn’t want anyone to know how stupid she had been.
She was determined to forget everything.
And she had succeeded. After the bruises were gone, no one ever asked questions or wondered what had happened. Except Julia…and Annie simply kept avoiding her. She missed her friendship like crazy, but she had to cut her off. That was the only way she could forget, the only way she could avoid having to talk about that night, that dreadful night when Tim had taken her to the lake.
But, as the fall came, something started to happen to Annie’s body. It was like it had gotten a life of its own, like she had no control over it anymore.
She could wake up at night and suddenly be so hungry it felt like she was about to die if she didn’t eat. She would keep crackers and candy under her pillow, so her roommate wouldn’t wake up when she ate at night. She had a jar of pickles that she ate greedily. And then there was the extra weight. The nightly eating made her gain a lot of weight. And some nights her stomach would hurt. She even started throwing up in the mornings, and wondered if that was due to her strange hours of eating.
Finally, she went to the doctor and was examined. Her mother took her. She had come for a visit, and when Annie had thrown up for the third time while she was there, she suspected something was wrong.
“She’s gaining weight rapidly,” her mother told the doctor.
“Well, that’s not too odd, given her circumstances,” he said with a smile. “Congratulations.”
Annie’s mother shrieked. She went completely pale, then hid her face between her hands. “I feared it might be something like this,” she said with a tre
mbling voice.
On the way back to the campus, her mother didn’t speak while driving. Not until she parked in front of the dorm. Annie felt sick to her stomach and a thousand thoughts went through her mind.
Was it Tim’s? There were others that night. Could it be from one of them?
Her mother turned her head and looked at her. “Listen to me. I don’t know who got you into this trouble,” she said hissing. “But either you get married, or you have an abortion. You hear me? Or you’ll never be able to set foot in our house again. You won’t be our daughter anymore.”
“But…but…”
Her mother turned her head away. “Fix this,” she said. “Or don’t come back home.”
And just like that, Annie’s life was changed forever. Standing in the parking lot, looking after her mother driving away, she knew nothing would ever be the same again. Her plan of becoming a teacher and going back to Windermere to teach at her old school, then marrying a nice guy and having a family was completely broken. Destroyed in a matter of seconds. She had no idea what to do, but she did know one thing. There was no way she was getting rid of the baby. She had heard stories of women not being able to conceive again. She was no killer. She could never kill a child. Born or unborn.
No way.
Chapter Sixteen
January 2015
The next morning, I watched the sun rise while sitting on my board. Emily had her own car that I had bought for her, and she took care of herself in the morning, so I took just the twins with me to my parents’ place to eat breakfast. Meanwhile, I decided to start the day my favorite way, in the ocean. My mother had told me she would take the kids to the school bus, which stopped right outside the motel.
It was one of those unbelievably gorgeous mornings, where the sun was allowed to rise on a cloud free sky. The water was cold at this time of year, the coldest it got in Florida. I know people in other parts of the country would laugh at me thinking sixty-nine degree water was chilly, but to me it was. You get used to it being in the eighties for most parts of the year. So, I had put on my wetsuit and was waiting for the next wave, while wondering about Laura Bennett. I couldn’t stop thinking about her and hadn’t slept much all night. I kept going back to the way the killer had arranged the fingers after he had separated them from her body. They had all been in a neat row and so carefully cut off, like he didn’t want to ruin them any more than necessary.