by Gemma Weir
“It can wait,” she replies.
“Okay.”
“My place or yours?”
“Yours. Blade will lose his shit if you tell him you’re at mine.”
“Cam can go fuck himself; I don’t need his permission to go to my friend’s place.”
A bark of laughter escapes me. “I know you don’t, babe. But pissing off my V.P. is never the best plan. Let’s just go to yours.”
Her indignant huff is audible even over the whoosh of the wind as we zoom down the highway toward her beautiful house. When we pull into the driveway, she kills the engine and we both climb out. We walk the path to the front door in silence and I wait as she twists her key in the lock and opens the door. Jock, her dog, rushes at us, scurrying around our feet until I bend down and stroke his midnight-black fur.
“Is this a coffee or whiskey kind of a conversation?” Nikki asks, breaking the silence.
“Whiskey.”
Her lips twist into a concerned line and I straighten and follow her into the kitchen. She opens a cupboard and pulls out an unopened bottle of whiskey, then takes a glass tumbler from a different cupboard. Crossing the room to the freezer, she drops a large cube of ice into the glass then pours two fingers of whiskey over the top, before sliding the glass along the counter toward me.
“I can’t drink, so you’re gonna have to enjoy that for the both of us.”
Lifting the glass to my lips, I take a deep pull at the amber-colored liquor. The smoky flavor hits the back of my throat and I hum approvingly. “That’s some damn fine Irish whiskey.”
“I thought you’d approve. Now do you want to tell me what’s going on?”
“It’s a long story. We should probably sit.”
Nikki nods, moving away from me to unlock the French doors that open from the kitchen onto a great patio and seating area. I follow as she makes her way to a huge sectional sofa and we sink down into the soft cushions facing one another. Nikki curls her legs beneath her and stares at me expectantly. “So,” she prompts.
Lifting my glass to my lips I drink down some more of the whiskey, rolling it across my tongue before swallowing. “It’s a really long story.”
“That’s okay. This baby isn’t due for another five months. I have time.”
“It’s so fucked up,” I say, rubbing at my brow with my fingertips.
“Look, Park.” She pauses, inhales sharply and closes her eyes then speaks. “I was raped by my father’s friend, while daddy dear sat and watched, his hard dick in his hand. I promise you, whatever you’re about to tell me, I’m not gonna judge you or be shocked. We all have a story to tell, just tell me yours.”
“What?” I yell, leaping to my feet.
Nikki doesn’t move, and her expression doesn’t falter. She simply opens her eyes and calmly says, “We can talk about me another day. I didn’t bring it up so we could dissect my history. But I wanted you to know my secrets so you could feel comfortable trusting me with yours. Only Cam knows, so I’d appreciate it if you don’t tell anyone else though.”
Sinking back down onto the sofa, I pull my friend into my arms and hold her against my chest. I want to comfort her, but this hug is for me almost as much as her. I always knew she had a darkness tormenting her, but I never would have dreamed she’d had to deal with so much.
“Okay, okay,” Nikki cries, batting my arms and pushing herself away from me. I don’t miss the way she wipes the tear from the corner of her eye, but I don’t mention it and neither does she. Instead, I pull in a deep breath and tell her everything.
I tell her about meeting Taylor when I first moved to the US. I tell her about us being best friends and growing up together. I tell her about the first time I knew I was in love with her. I tell her about how shitty I felt for years having to watch the woman I loved date other guys. Then finally I tell her about that day ten years ago when I found out the truth about my father’s affair and my half-sister.
Through it all Nikki listens, never judging or commenting. “So what happened after you found out that the girl you’d loved for years was actually your sister?”
Ten years ago.
“Why?” The single word escapes from my horrified lips. I’m not sure who I’m directing my question to, but I need one of them to confirm why the hell this happened.
“It was a mistake; just a drunken indiscretion, son. You know how these things happen.” My father says, his voice mild and cajoling.
“No, I don’t. Explain to me how your dick managed to fucking fall into her pussy, Dad! Explain how you cheated on your pregnant girlfriend? Taylor’s six months younger than me, so you must have known that mom was pregnant. You were still together then. Why would you do this?” My voice is frantic, searching for something, anything to make this not be true.
My father retreats behind his desk and sinks into his chair. “Your mother wasn’t happy here. She wanted us to leave.”
“So you slept with someone else?”
“Yes,” he replies, his head down, unable to look at me.
“Taylor’s my sister?” I say, knowing that it’s the truth but unable to truly believe it.
My dad raises his head and defiantly shakes it. “No, she’s not.”
Breathing becomes hard and my vision blurs at the edges. I can hear the sound of the beating of my own heart and feel the tears prickling at the sides of my eyes. “I’m in love with her,” I whisper.
Diane’s shocked inhale is so loud I swear it shatters all of the glass in the office’s windows.
“No,” my father says, his voice firm and unyielding. “No.”
“I’ve been in love with her for years,” I rasp, a tear escaping and rolling down my cheek as the truth finally begins to sink in.
“Have you…?” Diane starts, then stops, unable to ask the question.
“Have I fucked my sister?” I shout, the words so full of venom they both flinch.
“Parker,” My father warns, his voice a steely rasp.
Rounding on him, I stalk across his office and for the first time ever, I lean across his desk and shout into his face. “I’m in love with her. She’s my soulmate, and because you pair couldn’t keep it in your fucking pants, if I’ve touched her it’d be incest. That’s what it would be, isn’t it, Dad?”
My father cowers beneath my words. My entire life he’s been this angry, unmovable force. Always scowling at me, always disappointed. Only now, because I happened to overhear the truth about his tawdry little affair, he’s cowering, like the pathetic, spineless bastard he is. “So ask me, Dad,” I hiss. “Ask if I’ve fucked my sister?”
His eyes widen and he visibly swallows. “Have you been intimate with Taylor?”
“No.”
His shoulders slump and I back away from his desk. “You pair disgust me. Own your fucking shit and sort out your problems without fucking up your kids’ lives. I’m leaving, and I’m never coming back here. You people are fucking poison.”
“Parker,” my father says, his voice broken.
“Fuck you. I hope I never have to see you again. Don’t come looking for me. If you do, I’ll tell mom everything.” Turning on the spot, I look to Diane. “And you, I have no idea what you’re hoping for from him but trust me when I say Taylor is better off without him as a father. Cut your losses and stop whatever this is with him. Make sure Taylor doesn’t come looking either. I can’t be around her, so you need to make sure I never have to be.”
With a quick glance at both of their ashen faces I leave the room.
Present Day
“So you just left?” Nikki asks.
“Yeah, I packed a bag and left. I had some money, so I got a cab to the airport, then jumped on the first flight to Ireland. I arrived at my grandparents’ house sixteen hours later and sobbed like a baby into my granny’s arms.
“That’s where you go every summer?”
“Yep. Every year since my Mammy moved us here, I’ve flown home to see them.”
“And, do they know
about Taylor?”
“Yeah they know, but I made them promise to never tell my mom. It’s up to my dad to tell her. He did her wrong. He needs to be the one to break her heart, not me.”
Nikki sighs and switches position, her hand falling to her stomach and caressing lightly across her slightly rounded stomach. “Your mom doesn’t know?”
“She didn’t ten years ago. If she knows now, then she’s never mentioned it. But we don’t speak often.” I say, steepling then un-steepling my fingers.
“So, who’s the redhead?”
“Rosebud?” I ask.
“I thought she said her name was Rosie. Why do you call her Rosebud?”
Sighing, I rub at my face. “I don’t know… she blushed and her cheeks, they just went this perfect color, and with all that hair, and… fuck, I don’t know. She’s just Rosebud.”
Nikki smirks. “You like her.”
“I don’t think I do. It’s just that Taylor has haunted me for so fucking long. She was all that I could see and then all of a sudden I saw this flash of red and I thought there was hope for me.” I admit, leaning back against the sofa and letting my head fall back to the cushions.
“There’s still hope,” Nikki says softly.
“I thought Taylor was my soulmate. I thought she was the woman I was going to spend the rest of my life with, the mother of my kids. I loved her—as much as an eighteen-year-old kid can—and then that day when I walked into my dad’s office, well, everything just fell apart. Taylor’s been all I can see and paint and dream about for the last ten fucking years and then along comes Rosebud. I painted her you know? The other morning I woke up and she was all I could think about; I just had to get the picture onto canvas.”
“That’s great,” Nikki says, leaning forward in her seat.
“I thought maybe it meant I was finally getting over Taylor. Then last night I saw Rosebud again. I chased her down, like a fucking stalker, and there she was… nothing like I expected; all sweet and nice and calm. But life’s not quite done fucking with me yet, because the moment I find Rosebud, Taylor literally crashes back into my life again. Rosebud’s her best friend. How fucking ironic is that? The only woman in ten years to make me forget Taylor is the one woman in the entire fucking state who actually knows her.”
“That doesn’t mean that you can’t get to know Rosie.”
“Taylor knew.” I blurt out.
“What?”
“Taylor knew all along that we were half-siblings.”
Nikki’s mouth falls open.
“Apparently she’s known since she was ten. She’s even more fucking repressed and fucked-up than me, because she just refuses to acknowledge that we’re related. She tried to kiss me.”
“What, ten years ago?” she asks.
“Nope. She tried to kiss me last night and then again this morning.”
A strangled gasp falls from Nikki’s lips. “Wow,” she mouths, her lips forming the word without any sound coming out.
“Oh yeah, she’s quite the little fucked-up treat,” I say acerbically.
“I don’t get it,” Nikki says, her brows wrinkled in consternation. “Why would she just deny that you’re related?”
“If I had to guess, I’d say money. We grew up with the mega rich in LA. My dad’s rich, but Taylor’s daddy is mega rich.”
“But what about you?”
A loud scoff escapes my throat and the sound is angry and sad and disappointed all in one. “Who the fuck knows. I was all in, one hundred percent in love with her, and I thought she felt the same way, but obviously not.”
Nikki lays her small hand against my thigh. “This must have been hard for her.”
I nod. “I’d agree if she hadn’t tried to stick her tongue down my throat twice in the last two days.”
A small laugh bubbles from Nikki and she rushes to slap her hand across her mouth. “I’m sorry,” she starts.
I shake my head as a laugh builds within me too. “Don’t be. It’s so fucked up, it is kind of funny,” I say as a shaky chuckle escapes.
“So what about Rosie?”
Scrubbing my hand across my face, I shrug. “What about her?”
“You like her.”
“I like that she isn’t Taylor. I like that’s she’s funny and chilled out. I’m drawn to her, but I don’t think it’s a lust thing. Maybe it’s just my subconscious’ way of telling me it’s time to get over my fucked-up incestuous obsession with my ex-best friend/sister.”
“Wow, Park, that’s the title of Jerry Springer’s next episode.”
“Fuck you,” I say playfully, nudging Nikki with my shoulder.
“I get that this last couple of days has been a huge mind fuck for you, but now that you’ve seen Taylor, ignoring the sibling shit, how do you feel about her?” Nikki asks, her shrewd eyes watching me cautiously.
“Weirdly, I don’t really feel anything for her. I expected to still want her, but thank fuck, my dick didn’t even twitch.”
“Not that I really want to discuss your dick, but no hard-on for your sister is a good thing.”
Shaking my head at Nikki’s no-nonsense words, I smile and nod. “Definitely a good thing.” Glancing down at my hands, I clench my fingers into fists, all traces of my good humor evaporating. “She’s known for years that we shared the same father. We were best friends, she should have told me. She knew I had feelings for her that were nowhere close to platonic and she encouraged me. She knew I was in love with her. She’s my sister and she played with me, she flirted with me. Fuck, she probably would have let me have sex with her, all the time knowing we were related.”
Nikki’s small hand wraps around one of my fists and she squeezes lightly. “It’s fucked-up, sweetie. But she’s your sister and although I have no idea what they might be, I’m sure she had her reasons for behaving the way she has. I’m in no way condoning her behavior, but she’s family, and you guys can maybe forge some kind of relationship. I think you’ll regret it if you don’t try.”
Lifting up my free hand, I run my fingers through my hair. “How do you get past someone lying to you your entire life?”
“You don’t have to decide now. Take some time and think about it. If you decide you don’t want her in your life, then fine, but otherwise this is a chance to start afresh with her.”
“Maybe.”
“What about Rosie? Do you want to see her again?” Nikki asks, a sly grin twitching at the edges of her lips.
I think about Rosebud, her easy charm, her flame-colored hair. Then I consider never seeing her again. A pang of unease thuds in my chest. If Taylor leaves then Rosebud would leave with her and I don’t want Rosie to disappear. Silently examining my feelings, I try to explain my strange desire to see her again. I don’t want to fuck her. I mean I do, she’s beautiful, but I know what lust and want feels like, and this need I’m feeling for Rosie isn’t like that.
Whatever it is, one thing is completely clear to me. I’m not ready to say goodbye to my Rosebud just yet, so I’m going to have to figure out a way to make her stay, at least for a little while longer.
My eyes follow Park as he walks out the door, closing it behind him, then I turn my focus back to my friend. “Taylor, what the hell is going on?”
Her eyes are riveted on the closed suite door. She’s in front of me, but slightly to the side, enough that I swear I watch her mouth twist into a scowl and her eyes narrow before she crumples into a heap and begins to cry. Like the dutiful friend I am, I fall to my knees beside her, and pull her shaking body into my arms. I coo platitudes into her hair, assuring her that it will all be okay, but my mind is still fixed on the scowl and her cruel words from last night start to run through my mind.
After a few minutes of loud sobs, she pulls out of my embrace and her tear-streaked face comes into focus. “My life is such a disaster,” she whimpers, then dissolves into tears again, collapsing against me.
Pushing her upright, I manage to disentangle myself from her completely and shuf
fle back. “Sweetie, I need you to pull yourself together and tell me what’s going on here. Park said that he’s your brother.”
Taylor’s large doll-like eyes fill with tears again and her lips quiver. In all the years I’ve known her, I’ve never seen her look so genuinely upset. The woman sat in front of me is my best friend, but I’m not oblivious to her ability to cry at will, or the way she uses emotional blackmail to get her own way. I know she’s not perfect, but for years I’ve overlooked her more deceptive personality traits, because at the end of the day she’s my friend and she loves me.
Right now, I’m questioning everything. Staring at her intently, I try to figure out if her dramatics are genuine or fake. Is this all for show? To garner sympathy and understanding when she finally tells me the truth and explains why she came here. Less than twenty-four hours ago, Taylor glowed with excitement as she told me Park was her unicorn, the one sexual conquest who escaped her. But why would she want to have sex with him if she already knew he was her half-brother?
Taylor’s a little indulged and shallow but considering the idea that she would deliberately have sex with her sibling makes me want to laugh at the absurdity of it. But why would Park lie? He has nothing to gain here; no reason to make up something so distasteful.
“Taylor.”
She doesn’t lift her hands from her face and instead sobs loudly, her body shaking dramatically from the intensity of her emotion as it wracks through her slim frame.
“Taylor,” I say again, sterner this time.
Her shoulder stiffen, so I know she heard me, but she doesn’t lift her head.
“Taylor.”
Slowly her head lifts and her sobs subside to exaggerated whimpers and sniffles. Eventually, she parts her fingers, then gradually lowers her palms into her lap. Her eyes are swollen and puffy and streaks of mascara run down her ruddy cheeks.
“Did you know Park was your brother?”
Her eyes widen, then narrow, barely perceptibly. If I didn’t know her as well as I do, I would have missed it, and then I might have believed the words she’s about to speak. But I’ve known the woman in front of me for ten years. I know her, and because of that, I know that the next words out of her mouth are going to be a lie.