by Meghan Quinn
With sincerity, Quinn looked Grey in the eyes and said, “Because he looks at me the way you look at Willow, with passion and desire, with love and understanding. He sees me, the whole me, and he saw me that night for who I was, and had loved me since the minute I first walked into your house. He makes me feel special, wanted, needed. He didn’t make a move on me, Grey, I did it. He tried to push me away, but I think my brazenness,” she smiled and continued, “and his desire for me, over took his consciousness.”
Sounded about right, Grey thought to himself. Guilt washed over him, as he thought about not giving Quinn what she needed. She deserved someone like Landon, someone who was consumed by her. She was a great girl; she’d had a rough time with all of her body image issues, and after all her struggles, she truly deserved a happy future.
“I’m sorry I didn’t give you everything you needed,” he confessed. “I should have been better to you.”
“You were great to me, Grey. Don’t ever question that. You treated me with love and respect. You sat at my bedside when I was at my sickest. You gave me some wonderful years, but there is a time where you just have to realize that we are supposed to be friends, rather than lovers.”
Fanning his hands through his hair, Grey smirked at Quinn and said, “When did you become so mature?”
Laughing, she replied, “Lots of therapy…and your brother is a good guy. He helped me realize that you always loved me, but maybe in a different way. He’s good to me, Grey. Please don’t let this divide the relationship you have with each other; it would just kill me.”
Thinking about what she said, Grey considered his next words carefully. “I asked him if he would give you up for me…” Quinn visibly stiffened as she waited for Grey to respond. “He said no,” Grey answered. “Right there, he didn’t even have to think about it. That kind of response makes me see that his actions weren’t frivolous. He wouldn’t just throw away our relationship for nothing. You’re it, Quinn. You’re the one for him.”
Smiling brightly, Quinn got up from her seat and hugged Grey. He wrapped his arms around her and took her in one last time. The girl he lost his virginity to, the one that he spent many late nights with, his first love now belonged to someone else, and oddly enough, he was truly happy for her. She deserved Landon; they deserved each other.
“Thank you,” Quinn captured his face and lightly pressed a kiss on his forehead.
Shyly smiling, Grey pulled away and said, “Guess I have to talk to my brother.”
“You better,” Quinn pointed at him.
“I will, just give me some time to gather my thoughts, alright?”
“I will.” Quinn bit on the inside of her cheek as she thought about her next words. “Are you going to go after Willow?”
That was the question of the day; was he going to go for her? He wanted to, God did he want to. He couldn’t get her out of his mind, and he wasn’t sure if it was because of the fact that he had craved her from the moment he met her, or if he truly had feelings for her. He would never know until he tried.
“Not sure yet. The jury is still out on that one.”
“I think you two could make it work.”
Surprised, Grey straightened and said, “I thought you didn’t like Willow…that you would never forgive her for going after me…that you would never be okay with us being together.”
Quinn cringed as she listened to the words she’d once said to Willow.
“Therapy is funny, it makes you wish you never said some of the most atrocious things to ever leave your mouth. Honestly, back then, it was hard for me to accept you two together because it was so raw, too painful for me, because I knew Willow was who you wanted. But, now, I can see you two being happy together. You have common interests with each other and, let’s be honest, the heat between you two is unmatchable. I think everyone in the house would just appreciate it if you just fucked it got it over with.”
Quinn’s use of the F word made him throw his head back and laugh. It wasn’t very often that she swore, and when she did, she always caught him off guard.
“We’ll see,” Grey said, as he walked Quinn to his door. He put his hand on her shoulder and said, “Thank you for being so damn mature about all of this and telling me in the nicest way possible to pull my head out of my ass.”
She patted his cheek and said, “Any time. I love being right.”
Rolling his eyes, Grey ushered her out of his room and went back to his bed; he had some thinking he had to do about how he was going to approach his brother.
Chapter Thirteen
**Rook**
He took the fastest shower of his life. When Maisy came up to him in the garage, and he saw how freshly beautiful she looked, his heart did a back flip in his chest and it started pounding at a rapid rate. She’d approached him, it was something he wasn’t quite used to, so it startled him, to say the least.
Remembering her casual attire that made her look entirely too delicious, he pulled out a pair of sweatpants and a plain bright blue T-shirt.
Skipping shoes, he walked barefoot to the kitchen, grabbed some Girl Scout cookies that were in the freezer, thankfully, and grabbed some sodas. It wasn’t quite a tea party, but it would do for the intense conversation he was about to have with her.
He could have had this conversation with her a while ago. He could have told her everything, but he didn’t want to force it on her; he wanted her to come to him. If she came to him, then that meant she had an open heart to listen and was ready to actually be an active participant in possibly solving the enormous rift he put between the two of them.
When he finally made it outside, he saw that Maisy must have dragged a couple of chairs to a more private setting in the corner of the backyard, where she’d also brought over a small table. She was serious about snacks, good thing he delivered.
“Hey, Boo,” he said, as he walked up behind her.
Visibly, he saw her back stiffen at his presence. He hated that, when he greeted her now, he almost treated her like a stranger. He really wanted to be able to walk up to her and pull her into his arms like he used to. It was a privilege he lost that he would do anything to earn back.
“Hey,” she replied softly, as she sat down in her chair. He handed her a soda and then sat down next to her.
“I found some Thin Mints in the freezer; I hope that’s okay.”
“It’s fine.” A smile barely crossed her lips as she picked up a Thin Mint and nibbled on it. What he wouldn’t do to be that Thin Mint, to be the one she nibbled on, the one those sweet lips touched. Fuck, he was losing it.
An awkward silence fell between them as they each ate a cookie. Rook didn’t know what to say, how to start the conversation between them, but he felt like he had to.
“Maisy, I just want to…”
“No,” she held up her hand, “let me talk first.”
Praising the conversation gods, Rook allowed Maisy to have the floor.
“I need you to understand what you did to me, how your actions affected me, Rook, because I feel like, with the relaxed attitude you have toward me, you’re not quite getting what happened to me.”
“Maisy, that’s not the impression…”
“Please, just let me talk,” she said, while looking at the ground. “I just need you to know.”
“Okay,” Rook cringed, knowing he was about to hear something he never wanted to ever hear. He didn’t want to listen to the pain Maisy went through, because it would only slowly eat away at him, but he owed it to her; he owed it to her to hear her story, just like he was going to tell his.
“That day, Rook,” she looked up at him with glistening eyes, “that day will forever be etched in my soul; it defined a part of me. I was so fucking in love with you, hopelessly in love with you, and when I saw you weren’t around after I got out of bed that day, I asked the boys what happened and where you were. They told me your dad came to visit and that you were on the bus. I can’t tell you how upset, how distressed I was to find out y
our dad came to visit. I had to find you. I had to make sure you were okay. That was when I went to the bus and saw the drugs, the alcohol, and the mess; I thought…” her breath caught in her throat as she shook her head and quickly wiped away a tear while looking up at the sky. “I thought you overdosed, that it was all too much for you to handle, your dad and all. I thought you took your life.”
Pain ricocheted through Rook’s body, knowing exactly what she was going to say next.
“You didn’t take your life that day, Rook, you took mine.”
“Fuck, Maisy, I’m so sorry,” Rook tried to lean toward her, but she pushed back in her seat; she didn’t want his comfort, and that notion hit him hard.
“You purposely fucked another woman and made sure I knew of it. I had no clue why you would do such a thing to me, why you would want to hurt me so badly that you would literally rip my heart out and let it bleed on the floor. The only reason I could think of was that you didn’t care about me the way I cared about you. You didn’t love me like I loved you, that everything we ever shared together was a lie…a fairy tale in my head, but a lie in reality.”
“It wasn’t,” Rook replied somberly. “None of it was a lie.”
“You once told me that you would come to me if you needed to talk, if anything bad ever happened, that we would talk it out. Why didn’t you talk to me, Rook? We could have fixed the problem, instead of you trying to fix it yourself. Do you realize what I went through the past six months?”
He shook his head no in shame.
“I shed too many tears over you; I lost the will to write, to sing, to be on stage. I walked through life like a lost soul, never experiencing anything, only living in a world of grey. I’ve had a pain in my chest for the past six months that refuses to go away, and it only grows stronger when you’re around. You killed my spirit, dampened my outlook on life, and have destroyed any future relationship I may try to have. I have no trust in anyone, and my ability to think and function in life is a constant process; it doesn’t come easily anymore. Your toxic love invaded my blood and poisoned me, Rook. In one day, you tore me apart, shredded me into pieces, and left me to pick it all up with no explanation, only an evasive note.”
Just what he suspected. He hadn’t wanted to hear what he’d done to Maisy because her words cut right through him, made his stomach churn in knots and his heart sore.
“You might have thought you were saving me, but you actually destroyed me.”
A lone tear fell down her face and onto her lap. Rook hated himself, despised everything about himself, and all that he represented…which was a shitty life, a fucked-up family, and a drop of talent.
“Maisy,” his voice caught in his throat. “My apologies will only be words to you. I understand that because whatever I say won’t take back the pain I caused you, but I would like to talk to you about what happened, if you will allow me.”
She nodded and said, “Kind of got the idea from your letter to Rob Hanson.”
“May I still explain?”
She just nodded, while wiping away her tears. Fuck, he wanted to hold her hand, to wipe away her tears for her, and hold her in his arms. It would ease the ache in his heart, but such a move would not be welcomed, not one bit.
He took a deep breath and told his story.
“My dad found where I was, he found out who you were, and he decided to use it against me in order to leverage some money for his own use. After I got out of bed with you, I went to go see him. The image of him, tweaked as fuck and jittery will forever be in my mind. He was the one who attacked you on the streets, and once I found that out, my mind started racing about what else he could do to you. He offered me drugs that I wanted nothing to do with, which only pissed him off. He wanted money, he threatened me by using you as leverage. He knew people, Maisy, he knew a lot of dangerous people, and he said if it wasn’t him who got to you, it would be one of his buddies…unless I gave him money. I knew the money train and the threat against you would never stop until I did something about it. You deserved more than to be with me and deal with the fucked-up world I lived in, so I told him we weren’t together and gave him the money.”
“After I left him, I knew if I talked to you, you would try to talk me out of letting you go and, frankly, I knew you would do it because I love you so damn much; I would do anything you said. So, I did the one thing that I knew would drive you away, that would free you of me. I lived up to everyone’s expectations and fucked everything up that was good in my life, everything that was perfect…and that was you.”
“And, you know what?” a sardonic laugh escaped him, “the fucker died five days later from an overdose, leaving me my shithole of a childhood home and his debt. I hated him, everything about him, and I will forever hate him because, even though he beat me and abused me growing up, made me do all his dirty work, made me shoot him up with drugs, I could forgive him for that, but the one thing I could never forgive him for would be how he took you away from me, because you were the one good thing that ever happened in my life. You brought light into my life, light I had never seen before.”
More tears were streaming down Maisy’s face, as she put her head in her hands and started crying. Rook couldn’t stand back anymore and watch her go through so much pain, so he knelt in front of her and pulled her into his arms, gripping her tight.
“After the tour,” he continued, “I took my bike and went to my old house. I let the demons eat me alive, day in and day out. I welcomed the night terrors, because I deserved them after I hurt you. I deserved to suffer, so I found the cubby I used to have in my closest and lived there, never really moving unless I needed food, which was a rare occasion, and I would occasionally play my guitar, only if I was singing one of your songs. I was punishing myself, but when Grey found me, pulled me out of the dark abyss I was living in, practically out of the grave I was burying myself in, he helped me see that I couldn’t be a selfish bastard who took my own life. There were other people out there who were counting on me, and I needed to be there for them, for you, Maisy.”
Maisy continued to cry as he held onto her, trying to take away all the pain he ever caused her. He didn’t know what was going to happen from here, she looked too damaged, too cut to move on. The tears that flowed from her eyes were too full, too distraught, and it only made Rook think that, even though he believed in second chances, he wasn’t quite sure if he would be getting one with Maisy.
Finally, she cleared her face and pulled away from him. He still knelt at her side, holding onto the armrests of her chair, as he looked up at her tear-soaked face.
“I can’t do this, Rook. I know you had good intentions, but I don’t think I can ever forget the hurt you caused.”
Feeling like she was slipping away from him, he said, “Do you still love me?”
As if time stood still, his breath was caught in his chest as he waited for her reply. He so desperately wanted her to have any kind of feeling toward him, just the slightest inkling would give him hope, but when she started shaking her head no, his heart sank to the floor.
“I don’t know how I possibly could love you, Rook, after everything you put me though. How could I have a beating heart after that?”
Nodding his head, he tried one last time, “You will never know how much I fucking love you, Maisy. I don’t want to walk this life alone, to be without your hand in mine, your smile that was made for me, and that precious heart,” he choked on a cry that wanted to escape. “I can’t live without you, but if I have to, I will, because I will give you anything you want, Maisy. Any fucking thing you want.”
Her face looked pained as she thought about his words. Without notice, she stood up from her chair, forcing him to stand as well.
She wiped her eyes one last time and said, “Right now, Rook, I don’t want you. It’s all too raw.” Then, she left.
As he watched her walk away from him, a little piece of his shattered heart hung on in his chest from her words. “Right now” she didn’t want
him, but who knew about the future? She didn’t close the door on their relationship just yet; she let a little light peek through a crack.
**Willow**
God, the last thing she wanted to do was spend time in a house with Shattered Souls and her band. She wanted to go out, to maybe stop by and visit Declan, but the label was keeping tabs on everyone, and currently, they were to stay at the house or studio.
Feeling a little hungry after her tanning, she walked into the kitchen only wearing her bikini bottoms because, frankly, she didn’t care. If people were uncomfortable with her nudity, then that was their own problem. She was going to do whatever the hell she wanted.
As she walked into the kitchen, she checked out her Instagram page and was pleased to see the picture she took of herself, where the camera was millimeters from showing her nipples, was performing quite well on social media. Men were throwing themselves at her, and the ladies wanted to be her. It was exactly where she wanted to be in life.
Opening the fridge and letting the cold air pucker her nipples, she grabbed a Fiji water bottle, because the label didn’t provide them with any alcohol, bullshit move on their part. When she was taking a sip, Grey walked into the kitchen.
The minute he saw her, he stopped in his tracks, and took her all in. The shocked look on his face suddenly turned lustful as he scanned her body up and down, mainly focusing on her exposed breasts.
She hated to admit it, but his perusal got her hot; she could feel a low ache starting between her legs, a one of a kind ache that only occurred when Grey was around, the one man she had always wanted, but never was able to have.
Clearing his throat and turning his head so he was no longer staring at her, he said, “Uh, sorry about that. Didn’t know you were naked in the kitchen. Clearly, that was my mistake.”
There was a hint of sarcasm in his voice that Willow didn’t care too much for. She peeked down at his crotch and noticed that, through his jeans, he was aroused from just seeing her; maybe it was time for a little payback.