by K. E. Young
I would have to endure. As always.
Kaio: 22nd of Hunting, 3837
Lady Sara wasn't among the crowd that came to see them off. He had mixed feelings about it. He had wanted to see her reaction to their dragon forms, but he was glad she had stayed out of sight. His dragon worried about her and given the situation, he couldn't argue. Gelal had offered the safety of the garrison and Kaio had sent a message to her telling her to go to the garrison for safety if she had to.
Turning his thoughts to the coming ordeal at court, he swore under his breath. Goddess, blight it! Returning to Drakken meant his father would be up to his old games. He wondered who the old man would try to marry him to this time.
He wished his father would give up. His dragon hadn't accepted a single candidate so far. Kaio was certain this time wouldn't be any different and Kaio wasn't willing to consider even a contract marriage without that acceptance.
Sara: 22nd of Hunting, 3837
Durra voice snagged my attention as I came into the dining hall for dinner. "My lady, a moment please?"
I stopped and turned to face him. "Yes, Durra?"
Durra's cold eyes frowned slightly. "With the dragonlords returned to Drakken, you will sit with the other women. It isn't reasonable to have you sitting at the high table alone."
His words relieved me. I hated being watched, and without the dragonlords there to distract, I couldn't pretend I wasn't the one people were staring at. "Thank you, sir. I wasn't looking forward to being up there all by myself."
Durra raised an eyebrow. My response wasn't the one he had expected.
Dinner was an uneventful trial. The ladies and I did not get along and the constant sniping and petty innuendo annoyed me, but I hate conflict. I settled for silently ignoring them. I wasn't sure if that was the right tactic to use with them though.
Sara: 23rd of Hunting, 3837
The campaign by Fanul's associates to convince me to take his offer of protection had gone into high gear. I was late to my lesson with Hegall this morning because one of them had tried to drag me into an empty room by force. I managed to get free and run. Once I got enough distance he was out of sight, I hid. He took a long time to give up searching. His grip on my arm left bruises.
After that, I stayed in those areas of the palace where the guards were common. Unfortunately, I found out after dinner what their protection was worth.
"Lady Sara, a word with you please?" Fanul's voice lets me know it wasn't a request.
I glanced at the guards, reassured by their presence. Fanul wouldn't do anything in front of them. "Lord Fanul."
When I looked back at Fanul, he smirked. "I warned you Shalatu didn't have your best interests at heart. Now he's left you with no protection at all."
"The guards watch out for me."
He took on an amused smile then turned to the guard lead. "Delos, please leave us alone for a moment."
"Yes, sir!" Delos waved at the rest of the guards and they moved down the hall and around a corner. My heart pounded in fear as I realized how easily Fanul had stripped me of protection.
Fanul's knowing smile had grown. "The guards of Therysal have always been for sale. To keep them in line when I was their commander, I used fear." He chuckled. "Fear is an excellent deterrent for bad behavior… of all kinds."
His expression sobered. "I wish to apologize to you for Lord Mesunes' behavior this morning. He is impatient. Considering recent events, I thought I would extend my offer again."
His warning was clear. What was also plain was that his complaint about Mesunes wasn't with his goal, but with his methods, his impatience. If I took Fanul up on his offer, I would be no more than a whore. Memories of my stepfather's treatment swept through me.
"I need time to consider your offer Lord Fanul. I know so little of this world and I am cautious. Lord Shalatu told me the High-Lord will return soon and I am still his ward. Lord Shalatu absence does not change my situation much. "
Fanul didn't look pleased, but eventually, he nodded acceptance. He spun on his heel and left me alone.
Kaio: 23rd of Hunting, 3837
Kaio despised the formality of court. That pretty mask of manners that told a different story to the world than what your dragon sees. It was a lie without being a lie and he hated it. His dragon did too.
He had been right. His father was at it again.
Kaio was tired of the game. Rather than working in the background to spoil his father's plans, as usual, he had declared to his father he would not marry Ren's choice. When Ren argued with him, he had said, "No. I will do nothing that looks as if I'm trying to bolster my position at court. I refuse to undermine Urash that way. Nor will I accept anyone my dragon won't accept and so far, you've been abysmally bad at selecting candidates. No!"
Kaio knew that wouldn't be the end of it. The feud between him and his father had been building for the last ten years. He had no illusions about his father's response to his manifesto.
Yet another reason he hated the imperial court.
Sara: 24th of Hunting, 3837
I kept my head down and I stayed out of sight. After my lesson with Grila, I had gone to the palace library via the back ways. This was the first time I had been there since Lord Shalatu had moved my lessons to a warmer room. I had to admit, the men Lord Shalatu had assigned to organizing the library had done a good job. They had also arranged for a thorough cleaning and dusting. The library was spotless and polished for the first time in far too long if I was any judge. The wood floors sported new rugs.
It was just as well I was here. I had at last finished constructing my 'programming language' and I needed to verify it against the spells in the books before testing.
It took hours. I skipped lunch rather than deal with the ladies' sniping at me. Besides, this was more important. Yet when I finished, it all checked out. It looked good.
Yes! I had figured it out! Mostly anyway.
What I had wasn't exhaustive, but it let me do a lot more than what the spells listed in the books covered. My efforts to put together a programming language of sorts for magic weren't a waste. I knew programming and I was good at it. The idea felt right.
I wished I had more theory to ground it on. The advanced books were beyond cryptic and vague to the point of uselessness sometimes. Nevertheless, those books were all I had. Perhaps, when the dragonlords returned, I could persuade them to help me.
Meanwhile, I still practiced my control exercises. Sometimes my results weren't exactly right. If it was something solid I was okay, but with liquids and gasses, I had trouble. They were… slipperier.
My ability to sense the shape of the land and what was in and on it had grown. I could sense a long way now. I could sense towns and rivers. At the limit of my range to the north, the ruins of a city on the edge of a cliff intrigued me. If the city continued at the bottom, I didn't know. Even that short additional distance put it out of my reach.
Unfortunately, my current desire to stay out of sight limited my options. For now, the wider practice possibilities offered by the garden were forbidden. I needed to stick to what I could do in my room.
4: Hell
Sara: 26th of Hunting, 3837
I woke up to snow, the first of the season. If I were back on Earth, it would be mid-December.
Fanul stopped me as I was leaving the dining hall after lunch. "Have you considered my offer?"
I had known this was coming. I had hoped Dragos or Lord Shalatu would come back before it happened though. I could not take his offer, yet I didn't want to know what happened if I said no.
I hadn't slept well since the dragonlords had left. I hadn't eaten well either. Every day, every night, I had struggled to come up with an alternative, some way out of this mess. Nothing.
All I knew was if I gave myself to him willingly, it was all over. I didn't have much choice. Saying no and then somehow staying out of his hands until the dragonlords returned was my best option. That didn't mean it was a good option, merely the
best one.
I looked him in the eye. "No, Lord Fanul."
Anger flickered in his eyes. "I hope you don't come to regret your choice, my dear."
I ran back to my room and locked the door. It took a long time for the shaking to stop.
Later that night, I heard a scratching at my door. It was late and I was in bed, but the sound galvanized me. I called out asking them to identify themselves.
"My name is Dagresh, I serve Lord Fanul." The voice was quiet on the other side of the door. "My master has ordered your presence."
The words alarmed me. I had a good idea why Fanul required my presence. Fanul had made that clear the day after the dragonlords left. No. There was no way I was opening the door or going with this Dagresh! "No. Tell your master if he would order my presence, he must do it through the High-Lord." Fanul would never speak to Dragos, nor would it stop him. By doing this, Fanul had gone too far.
Before leaving, Dagresh warned me. "Denying Fanul is a mistake. You should reconsider."
I didn't sleep that night. Instead, I planned my escape.
The next morning I began preparing to leave. I should have done it earlier. If the situation were as bad as my instincts told me, then enduring wouldn't be enough to get me out again whole. I hated conflict and fighting, but I might not have any choice this time.
I had to laugh at the idea. As if I ever had a choice.
While everyone was at lunch, I snuck into the armory and stole a knife and a small whetstone. Then, I crept into Lord Haradis' office and examined the map of the city hanging on his wall, planning the best route out of Therysal. My land sense allowed me to verify the map against the city itself. There were a few mistakes on the map. Perhaps, I could have done it without having to take the risk of going into Lord Haradis' office, but the visual representation of the city helped me match my land sense to the real world better.
After the kitchen had cleaned up from lunch I went in and, with the help of one of the servant girls, gathered packets of nuts, dried fruit, and crackers. I hid them in my pack, which now resided under the bed. It held my laptop, the food, and my gray gown.
After that, I turned to the next item on the list. I would need funds to flee and at present, I had nothing. I sent my perceptions into the earth looking for anything valuable. My senses snagged on coins and some jewelry caught in the rocks off the coast. It took hours to tunnel each bit through the earth from its resting place to my hand. By dinnertime, I had a headache, a small pile of gold and silver coins, a silver ring set with a garnet, and part of a gold chain. I hoped it would be enough.
This was the first true test of my new methods. There hadn't been a single spell listed in any of the books that would let me do what I had just done. The effectiveness and success of the method were heady. I wished I had someone to tell. I wondered what Lord Shalatu would have said. Would I have finally been good enough to earn his approval?
Before bed, I prayed to the Goddess to bring the dragonlords back.
Sara: 27th of Hunting, 3837
The past few days, I spent most of my time either in my room with the door locked or in the library. I only came out of hiding for my lessons and dinner. I had stopped showing up for lunch. It wasn't the first time I had gone without food. As long as I drank enough water, I would be fine with the short rations for a while. Tonight I would visit the kitchen and see what I could liberate with no one noticing.
It had been five days since the dragonlords had left and I prayed to the Goddess constantly to bring them back. I hadn't realized how much safer I had felt around them, despite my lizard brain screaming 'run' whenever I got too close to them. I missed their forbidding presence, Lord Torabreth's frowns before meals, and even Lord Shalatu's biting words.
Grila was sick and had not come today so I had spent the morning in the library instead. I was trying to find the information to finish one of Hegall's trickier assignments and I needed to finish before my lesson with him tomorrow. Avoiding my usual haunts made that difficult. The cold had numbed my toes and I was rushing. I had already spent more time there than I considered safe. Lunch would begin in a few minutes. Once everyone was in the dining hall, I would go back to my room.
I heard a whisper behind me and a rag with a sweet heady scent came tightly over my mouth and nose. I shrieked in alarm and tried to pull away but he was too strong. The smell made me dizzy and fighting my captor made it worse.
I attempted to reach for the earth but the whirling in my head made it so difficult to focus. Just as I felt the earth in my hands, I heard Dagresh's voice in my ear and it slipped away again.
"You should have come when he told you to."
My world went black.
✽ ✽ ✽
I came back to consciousness with the conviction I was on my way to hell, not the hell of the Christians, but something more personal and immediate. The smells of damp, mold, and rot filled my nose. My mouth held a sharp, green, medicinal taste.
My captor had bound, gagged, and blindfolded me. His hard shoulder dug into my gut. My stomach threatened reprisals with every echoing footstep.
I couldn't think through my pounding head but I realized I would need to escape and I couldn't do that if I didn't know where to go. I paid close attention to what I heard and smelled, and the turns he made.
Reaching for the earth, I couldn't feel it. I couldn't feel anything outside my own skin. The lack of response filled me with terror because it meant they knew about my magic and had a way to block it. I thought I had kept it a secret. Hegall had told me the men of Therys didn't want women to hold power, any power. I assumed that included magic so while I had continued to learn and practice, I had told no one or displayed my abilities where others could see.
I fought the rising tide of panic. Evidently, I hadn't been as careful as I had thought.
Dragos: 27th of Hunting, 3837
"She is my ward! How dare you deny her entrance to Drakken?"
Dragos had, at last, tracked down the civil servant responsible for denying Kaio's requests to bring Sara to Drakken.
"Lord Gonturan, there was no record of the woman in the rolls. I had no proof she was anything more than young Lord Shalatu's fluff. The laws are clear! Non-Drakkeni are forbidden during times of unrest or uncertainty."
Dragos growled. "As my ward, she is not non-Drakkeni!"
The officious little administrator had obviously had enough. "Which does not change that there was no record of her. If she is your ward, then you need to register her and she needs to make her bow to the Emperor."
Dragos narrowed his angry gaze. "And how is she to do that if you do not allow her entrance?"
The administrator harrumphed, unimpressed.
Dragos growled again and spun away. It was time to talk to Urash. Coronation festivities would go on for another full week and their presence was mandated unless their new Emperor gave them dispensation to leave.
Somehow, he didn't believe he had that much time to waste.
Sara: 27th of Hunting, 3837
It was another fifteen minutes trekking through stinking sewers before my captor took us up a steep flight of stairs and through a stone door into a cellar.
My captor dumped me onto the stone floor and kicked my ribs. The stone door ground closed and I heard the click of a lock engaging, and a key removed. Dagresh's voice sounded out. "Have her prepared. Lord Fanul has waited long enough." His footsteps trailed away.
I heard a skittering and felt gentle hands removing my blindfold. I blinked at the dim light in the room. A blond girl of about fifteen knelt next to me. Two mean-looking guards stood at the door.
The girl waved to get my attention then held her hand over my mouth with one hand while holding a finger to her own lips to indicate silence. Then she gave a pointed glance at the guards and opened her mouth to show me they had cut her tongue out.
I got the message. I nodded my understanding of her warning and she removed my gag and worked at my bound wrists with another pointed gl
ance at the guards.
The girl was naked, clothed only in bruises, welts, and scars. Her eyes expressed fear and anguish. Those eyes told me she knew what was in store for me and she pitied me. Dread and panic sat like ice in my stomach.
When my hands were free a guard moved. Unhooking a short, snakelike whip from his belt, he lashed it across my belly and said, "Strip. Now." His cold tone brooked no argument. His companion waved at the girl to leave.
With shaking hands, I unlaced the sides of my gown and pulled it off over my head. It fell into a pile on the ground. My slippers and underthings followed. The shawl I had worn in the library was missing, gone either there or in the sewers afterward.
When I was naked, the guard slipped my wrists into a set of manacles taken from a hook on the wall, a metal collar followed. He clipped a leash to the collar and pulled me out of the room. His partner stooped to collect my things then left in another direction.
My current captor led me down a hall and up two flights of stairs. He pulled me into a room and stood me in the center. A third guard removed the manacles and fixed my wrists into a set of leather cuffs depending on a chain from the ceiling. When he finished, they turned and left.
They left me in silence for what felt like a long time but was probably only twenty minutes. Fear rippled in waves, causing my skin to tighten and my hair to prickle. I pulled at my manacles in the vain hope of pulling free but they were firm and tight, leaving no slack for my hand to slip through. Sweat slicked my skin and I panted until I was faint.
I did not want to face what came next. I knew it was bad. It was always bad. I had hoped so hard for a new life away from things such as this but it was all in vain. Why couldn't they leave me alone? I didn't ask for happiness. I didn't ask for a good life. All I wanted was to not hurt, to not be someone else's toy. Why couldn't I have that?