by K. E. Young
"Naturally, but not today, not tomorrow, and not the day after that either. We have more immediate concerns."
I sighed. Back to work. I knew exactly what I had to do so finishing composing the spells wouldn't be a problem. I wanted Ren to do a tech review and make sure they would work the way I thought they would. Tomorrow we had to go through them with the warriors and the mages so they knew what to do. Ren was already working on how to present the alterations to the trap spells we would need to the mages. He knew the proper terminology and how to present the changed spells to them in a way they understood so he would do most of the teaching too. I had the rest of tonight for planning and tomorrow for teaching and final preparation. The day after…
I finished the snack Gelal had brought me and returned to the spell code I was working on. This was a tricky one and I needed to get it right.
✽ ✽ ✽
Kaio was absent longer than expected, so something hadn't gone smoothly. We would hear about it when he got back. Meanwhile, we were as ready as we could be for the moment. I had written the spells the mages would need to prepare for the dismantling and those I would need for my own part of the preparations. Fortunately, we could take the dismantlement spells directly from the records. Ren had double-checked them. Tomorrow, we would train the selected warriors and mages in the new spells. Now, all we needed to do was rest up so we were all fresh and give the mages time to familiarize themselves with the spell changes. The day after tomorrow was the day. I would face my nightmare and either it would all be over, or I would be dead. No one else could do this. I had to live though. I had to be strong. All those years of suffering had prepared me. I hoped it was enough. The consequences if I failed were unthinkable so I didn't even speak of them to anyone.
I'm sure Ren realized though. He had a haunted expression whenever anyone mentioned Kaio.
14: Vengeance Begun
Kaio: 36th of Hunting, 3837
Drakken's Ikkim-Daymu had begun. That's what Kaio's men were calling it even though only a few soldiers and sailors had died so far and most of those were innocents. Kaio couldn't tell them no. It was how he felt too. All of those countless Aria Atlani over the millennia who had died for the Arboren's hubris would get their revenge. The dragons — they too would get their revenge.
"My Emperor, I have delivered your message and the Arboren have turned back. The surviving soldiers and sailors of the ship we sank are here. A healer has seen them and they are eating and resting. I briefed them on the Arboren and they know they will need to choose whether to help oust the Arboren to free their families or remain in custody. I ordered those with red hair confined separately for questioning."
"So you're sure it was an Arboren force rather Valleni?"
Kaio nodded grimly. "Both the ambassador and the force commander have blood red hair and there were crates of Demon's Bane lashed to the deck of the flagship. There was enough to dose every Drakkeni alive. I ordered the Demon's Bane dumped into the cesspits of the Hive." His mouth twisted in distaste at the memory of the smell even in winter.
Urash looked thoughtful for a moment then shook his head dismissively. "Thank you for that. It might have been useful against the Arboren, but the possibility of the tactic backfiring is too great. We can't chance our own people being affected."
"That was my thought. I kept enough for our Arboren prisoners in case they were mages but that's it." Kaio paused then nodded towards Sara's empty plate and smiled. "Thank you for making sure Sara ate."
Urash grinned. "Gelal's doing I'm afraid. He's taken to her like a mother keth. He and Dragos have been taking turns making sure she has what she needs. She has threatened to call him Uncle Gelal.
"Sara and Ren figured out what we needed to do. Dragos, Gelal, and I have already made plans and preparations are underway. Tomorrow Ren and Sara will teach her spells to the warriors and mages. We face the valbore on the day after.
Urash became utterly sober. "Gelal will lead the soldiers supporting us in the sewer while I will lead the mages supporting Sara there. Dragos and Ren will lead their counterparts in the Waste. Your duty will be to support Sara through the whole ordeal. The valbore is what she fears most and we need her to be strong in this. She's going to need you there to face it. Give her your strength. Give her your love. Keep her strong. Give her a reason to live, a reason to fight. She needs a reason to defeat her demon and you are it."
It was a role that would garner him no glory but was no less critical than those that would have. Kaio nodded, accepting the burden Urash had given him. Besides, Urash had already given him a measure of glory by tasking him with declaring war on the Arboren. It was more than enough.
Sara: 36th of Hunting, 3837
Kaio escorted me back to the Hive encampment. It was late afternoon and the winter sun was setting. Gold, orange, and magenta washed the sky in color and the fires scattered through the Hive, fairgrounds, and surrounding fields were bright and cheerful. The emptiness of the city itself looked all the grimmer in comparison. If all went well, then the people could go back the day after tomorrow.
There were contingency plans of course. If I failed in the sewer then the mages would lock the valbore away as they normally would. If I failed in the Waste, they would shield the Waste itself so the valbore couldn't call victims and when they were strong enough, the Drakkeni would lock it away again. Given there weren't as many Drakkeni warriors and mages left as everyone believed, it might take as much as another generation before that happened.
I still couldn't believe Urash had already declared war on Vallen. Why? As if we don't have enough on our plate already…
The cost of any failure was too high. I had to succeed. Even if it cost me my life.
Once more, our pathway became crowded with the people who came out to gawk. Knowing they weren't antagonistic towards me helped. I still didn't like being the focus of attention, but I could smile at them and wave at the children. It seemed to make them happy and their mood lightened. Kaio murmured, "They believe if you can smile, then the situation cannot be as bad as they fear and they have no need to worry." I hoped they were right.
Zenra wasn't in camp when we arrived. She was off on business of her own and Samra informed me she wouldn't be back until just before dinner.
Kaio picked me up, carried me into our tent, and laid me on the bed. "Perhaps you should take a nap. You didn't seem to sleep well last night."
I tugged him down next to me and laid my head on his shoulder. Cuddling with Kaio was addicting. "I'm not sleepy. My head was feeling the pressure to solve the puzzle of how the Accusers created the valbore, I think. You still haven't told me about Drakken yet. You said there wasn't a book with the knowledge I wanted and you would tell me everything."
He laughed. "I did. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to do so."
"We've both been busy. It wasn't long ago." I thought back. "Only three or four days."
Kaio's expression turned solemn. "Not long at all. It feels longer. Too much has happened. Too much has changed." He gave me a pleading look. "I am sorry for the way I treated you."
If it weren't for his earnest expression I might have laughed. "I know. Frustration can make anyone's temper flare. You were right though. I was too meek. But I've always had to be meek. If I tried to stand up for myself I ended up hurt even more. It was safer to be small, quiet, and submissive."
His fingers combed the hair back from my forehead. "I didn't understand that then but I do now. You've taught me a lot these past few days. I had never met someone like you before, someone hurt so badly. I'm sorry I took me so long to realize."
"And I'm sorry I took so long to realize I don't have to be a mouse anymore. We've both learned a lot. And now I want to learn about Drakken."
He chuckled. "Single minded. Where do I start?"
"Let's start with something simple. Clans and families. I'm still not sure how that works."
"Ah. As you may remember, clans denote the male line and families denote the
female line. Each clan and family have a name. I'm of clan Shalatu and family Tabanusi. A man keeps his mother's family name until he takes a mate when he takes on her family name. A woman keeps her father's clan name until she takes a mate when she replaces it with her mate's. Unless it's a contract marriage, which is a temporary association for business or politics. Her daughters will continue the family name and his sons will continue the clan name."
"So they both change names?" He made a positive murmur as he nuzzled my hair for a moment. "So you will go from family Tabanusi to family Hamilton?" It was my father's name, but it was all I had. I didn't even know my mother's maiden name.
"Yes. Prince Shalatu Kaio sylu Hamilton. You will become Princess Hamilton Sara bintu Shalatu."
From Dragos' lessons on Atlani, I knew 'sylu' meant 'son of' while 'bintu' meant 'daughter of'. Using the old words was probably tradition more than anything else. "So if an Empress rules the Empire rather than an Emperor, the royal clan changes?"
"Ah. The one exception. Shalatu is the name of the clan who rules. Whichever clan rules, is Shalatu. Whichever family intercedes with the Goddess is Sabriyu. It's traditional."
"So Shalatu is more of a title. What would your clan name be if another clan ruled?"
He nuzzled her hair. "Kalbiya is my clan's ancient name. It's been Shalatu for a long time though. Mostly. With the exceptions of a few intermissions, we have been Shalatu since the Mad King, long before the Accuser war. Sometimes it passed to another clan during and after the rule of an Empress, but it always seems to come back to us. Occasionally, those who are far enough from the line of succession drop the Shalatu name and take Kalbiya as their clan instead."
"Was the Mad King part of your clan?"
"No. My clan took control after we deposed the Mad King. Kalbiya Esrab led the forces who deposed him and cleaned up the mess the Mad King left behind. "
"Sabriyu…"
"The Speakers are mages trained in how to open a gate to ahaynu so they can speak with the goddess directly. They keep the records of the Nakairi and the Tasks they perform, and record the bloodlines among other things. In fact, their records were the only ones that survived the Mad King's purge. Before the destruction of the temple, Sabriyu led the Speakers serving there."
I should have asked Kaio questions earlier. This was as interesting as Ariset. Every answer spawned more questions. "The temple?"
He nodded. "After the Goddess brought the Aria Atlani to this world, they built a temple to honor her on the spot we arrived, in what is now Vallen. Two thousand years ago, it became home to the Shurshu al Atlan, a magical artifact from Atlan itself. Legends say that dragonkin were involved with that, but the Mad King came two hundred years later so we don't have any details about the period I'm afraid.
"Then, a couple hundred years after the Accusers, there was what we call the Mage War. The Mage Guild, which grew out of the Ansoren mages left behind when the Mage-Kings left, tried to seize the artifact from the temple. They destroyed the temple and lost forever what they sought to obtain. That was the first summoning of a valbore. We now suspect the Arboren led the Mages Guild."
Kaio's fingers running through my hair were a little distracting, sending shivers down my spine, but it felt nice so I let him continue. "Lost how?"
"We don't know. Few of those who were there when it happened didn't survive to tell the tale. Two Nakairi stayed behind to protect the temple while all of the warriors and mages went to handle the valbore. Before they finished locking up the valbore, the cliff the temple stood on shuddered and swallowed the temple. We tried for a few years to locate the Shurshu but we found no trace of it or the bodies of the Nakairu in the rubble. The story in the region is the gods took it back because there wasn't anyone they could trust with the power anymore."
I could see I would have to look into Nakairi more. I wondered why the goddess kept bringing them here. Was she bored? Or was there a higher purpose? I sighed. Something for another time.
"So, how did you become a spymaster?"
His fingers stilled and he was silent for so long I wondered if he would answer at all. "I don't know. When I was growing up, my father wanted me to join the military. My dragon hates being constrained and military life is so rigid I couldn't stand the idea. I think he simply wanted me to stop poking into his business. He kept trying to arrange a political mating I didn't want so I kept sneaking into his office to keep track of his actions and managed to avoid or sabotage all his efforts. If I were in the military, I wouldn't have had the time to figure out what he was up to and get around it. I liked the fighting so I trained with them but I had no desire to be a soldier."
"So you kept the good parts of the military training and bypassed the bad parts."
He chuckled again. "Yes. Anyway, Aunt Kora was Uncle Rhal's spymaster and she decided they needed to channel my penchant for unearthing secrets before I caused problems. I don't think father ever figured out his sister was spymaster until Urash told him the other day. Given how he reacted to me becoming Dragos', I wonder what he would have done if he had known."
"Aunt Kora?" This was the first time I'd heard of her.
"My father's older sister. As first born, she would have been Empress, but she told her father when she was a child she had no interest in the role and flatly refused to train for the job. Then Ren was born and it didn't seem to matter. She then publicly abdicated and renounced the Shalatu clan. She was Kalbiya until she married. Grandfather was livid from what I hear. She served as Rhal's spymaster but kept out of the clan business itself. She ended up mating a commoner. Uncle Sel manages a small fleet of trade ships. My mother uses his company often."
"Sounds as if he's not so common."
Kaio laughed. "No. He's as smart as they come. He isn't strong enough magically to manifest a noble dragon, but despite that, he fits into the family surprisingly well. Father was appalled but he isn't mean about it. Mostly he tries to avoid Sel so he doesn't have to be polite to him."
I bet I knew why. "Your father feels inferior. All that mess about his dragon when he was growing up. Now here is a person who should be safely inferior and isn't. If your father were a little more secure he might be nicer."
"You make it sound as if he's the victim." Kaio had become tense against me.
I knew what it was like to have someone constantly tell you that you weren't good enough. My years in the foster system had drilled the message in with a vengeance. Knowing Ren had been through the same thing made me understand him better and Kaio's accusation that I was making Ren sound like a victim was all too true. Ren was a victim and someone had made him that way. The only questions were who and how to repair the damage.
I shifted to look up at him. "He is what your society has made of him, just as you are. You have always been one of the elite, better than everyone else and with good reason. But he has always been less. Others ridiculed him as a null while he was growing up. Long after everyone else, he finally manifests his dragon, but he didn't grow up with it. He had already become a person without it. It isn't a part of him in his eyes. Is it any wonder he feels defensive? Everyone, including his father, told him he wasn't good enough. All his scholarship and magical training weren't enough. I know from personal experience that when people tell you you're unworthy often enough for long enough, you believe it no matter how worthy you actually are and when the situation changes and you get away from all that, that feeling of unworthiness doesn't go away. How worthy does he feel? How much of the face he shows the world is a mask to hide his hurts, his unworthiness?"
Kaio seemed conflicted, his expressions flickering as he thought through what I said. He looked unsettled when he focused on me. "I never looked at it that way before. He was always this stern presence who always treated me as if I was a burden or a disappointment to him."
That wasn't right. Kaio didn't know. "A burden? Someone made him think you were Rhal's. Not his son. Maybe, in his eyes, you were too good to be his. What would it mean to him?"
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br /> His eyes skated across the tent as he thought about it. "Maybe. I don't know anymore. I'll think about it. It would explain…" His arms tightened around me. I let him work things out on his own.
As I thought about it, I realized I had already forgiven Ren for the note. He still bore the blame for the way he treated Kaio, but the note was understandable and I thought Ren truly was sorry for that one. He certainly seemed that way.
Kaio and I spent the rest of the afternoon exchanging stories of our respective childhoods. I shared every memory I had of my father before he died. Kaio shared stories of his mother, Dragos, and Sano, growing up in the Imperial Palace, learning to fly, his magical training, and anything else I could think to ask questions about. Finally, he told me about watching Dragos welcome a Nakairu to the palace while he hid in the shadows. A Nakairu who turned him inside-out.
It made my eyes leak, but I was smiling. Kaio had admitted I was stuck with him far earlier than he wanted to admit to himself, and now I knew what he meant. I wish I had known he was there.
Kaio had never scared me aside from those few moments when his furious dragon stalked towards me on the road. The rest of the women of the court found him alarming, but I never had for whatever reason. I had known he would express all his anger and dislike towards me in words, not deeds. While words hurt, they could not kill me.
We cuddled together and dozed until evening when Samra came to rouse us and urge me to change for dinner.
As had become customary, Laras and his sons joined us. Afterwards, Kaio, Laras, and Daro put their heads together discussing the Arboren while Zenra and I went back to her tent to talk.
"You have a lot to learn as the newest member of the Shalatu clan, but don't worry. Kaio and I will both do everything we can to help. I'm sure Ren will help too of course. He will consider it his duty to help and he is always dutiful." Her expression was a little sour on this last note.
I was curious. "How did you two come to marry?"