“I felt your pleasure.”
“You can’t. I’m not human.”
“Evidently there is still something there.” He sat down on the foot of my bed. He was wearing a pair of boxer briefs, which was an improvement on the way he usually dressed at night. Naked. I was surprised he’d bothered to put on anything at all.
“And you wanted to manipulate me?” I asked calmly. I didn’t care. The dream was over, and the numbness had set back in.
“No. I wanted you.”
“Okay, you can leave now.” I put an arm over my face. The dream had been good. I knew it had been, but why did it have to fade so fast?
“We could try. Just see what happens.” Roland’s voice came from closer this time.
“Why?” I kept my arm in place. I didn’t want to look at him.
“Because you want some exhilaration.”
“I had some in my dream.” That I remembered. I just wished I could remember how it had felt.
“I know… but now? What’s left of it?”
“Nothing. Absolutely nothing.” I sighed.
“Exactly.”
“Well, maybe not nothing.” I moved my arm. “I remember the warmth of his hands.“
“My hands are warm, Daisy.” Roland sat right next to me on the bed. “And they are right here. Eventually those dreams will fade away, and you won’t have them anymore.”
“Maybe not. Maybe I will be the exception.”
“Other than the warmth of his hands, what do you remember?”
“Why?” I propped a pillow up behind me.
“Because I’m curious how long you have.”
“I could have had a few more days with him, couldn’t I? We shouldn’t have rushed.” I closed my eyes again, willing the memories to return in color. To return with the feelings.
“And what good would that have done? You wouldn’t remember anymore, and it would have caused him further hurt.”
“It’s strange. He probably remembers and feels everything.”
“Of course he does. He’s human. Ok, not human. Pteron. But not Allure.”
“I’m sure he’ll meet someone new.”
“He will. That is the course of things. He may have met someone already. Someone who is comforting him.”
I pulled my knees up to my chest. “Do you think there are any humans up?”
A smile crept across Roland’s lips. “You want to manipulate?”
“I need to. I feel too numb.”
“There are other ways to deal with the numbness.” He ran his hand over the blanket between us.
“You really think that?”
“I know it.” His eyes heated.
“I’d rather manipulate. It sounds better right now.”
He let out a deep breath. “I’ll come with you. I could use a little something myself.”
“Where are we going to go?”
“There are usually bonfires down at the beach. I’m sure there will be plenty of people to manipulate tonight.”
“Ok. Give me two minutes.” I got off the bed and walked over to the closet.
“Are you sure you don’t need a shower?”
“I’m sweaty, aren’t I?” I ran my hand over the perspiration on my neck.
“You are.”
“Maybe I can go for a swim when we get back.” The cold water would be nice.
“Another morning swim?” He raised an eyebrow.
“Why not?”
“Because you like to torture me.”
“I don’t have the same problem. I don’t get it.”
“You should.” Roland looked out the dark window. “And you will.”
“Go get dressed.”
“We might have an easier time if I went looking like this.”
“Not the kind of time I want to have.” Desire was the one emotion I was avoiding.
“Do you have a preference?” He sat down again on the bed, letting me know he wasn’t ready to leave yet.
“Of what?” I released the dress I was about to pull from a hanger.
“Who you manipulate?”
“It only works on a few women.” I’d tried more than once.
“Wait, what?” Roland stood up. “Since when?”
“Since ever.” I laid down back on my spot on the bed. If we weren’t going anywhere I might as well get comfortable.
“Does Violet know?”
“No,” I admitted. “I have bigger problems.”
“Bigger problems aside from only being able to manipulate half the population?” Roland watched me. “That’s a pretty big problem.”
“Some women.”
“Okay, almost half?”
“Was Taylor able to manipulate all emotions?”
“Yes, although she had her preference. Like the rest of us.”
“But no one type was so strong that it blocked out the rest?”
“Not that I know of… what are you getting at?” He sat down beside me again.
“No matter what, desire takes over. It’s always about sex. “
“What did Violet say? She has to know.” Roland surprised me with his question.
“She thinks it will work itself out.”
“I also suggested you deal with your own desire. Remember that suggestion?” Violet appeared in the doorway, making me wonder how long she’d been listening.
“She had a sex dream.” Roland crossed his arms. “About him.”
Violet nodded. “This change is going too slow. Something’s wrong.”
I put my arms behind my head. “I’m not human. I don’t feel. I’m as numb as the rest of you.”
“The numbness is because you aren’t getting what you need from manipulation. You should feel good.”
“But how do you feel good if you don’t feel?” The lack of emotions was almost as confusing as emotions themselves.
“This kind of contentment is different. But you’ll like it. We just have to get you there.” Violet always tried to make things sound simple, but this time I wasn’t buying it.
“I’m not having sex with Roland to do it.”
“Why?” Roland asked simply. “You are attracted to me. It’s not as if you won’t enjoy the experience.”
“I have no desire to have it.”
“That’s a lie.” Hugh walked in. There was no privacy with the Allures, and I guess there didn’t need to be. None of us cared.
“No it isn’t.”
“We can tell. There’s no reason to hide it.” Violet laid down on the bed next to me.
“What’s with the resistance?” Hugh remained standing. “Trying to piss off Roland? I understand if that’s it.”
“I want to manipulate. Roland was supposed to go with me, but then we got sidetracked.”
“What’s the point of going when it’s only going to make things worse?” Violet touched my arm gently. “I know I suggested it earlier, but I’ve had time to think. I’m not certain we can handle this on our own.”
Hugh nodded. “We should call Louie.”
“Not a chance.” Roland jumped up in front of Hugh. “Not happening.”
“We all know why you’re holding him off.” Hugh smirked.
Roland glared at him. “It’s for her own good.”
“But she shouldn’t be suffering.” Violet nodded toward me.
Roland sighed. “If she’d just take a chance on me she’d be fine.”
“Wait.” I sat up. “Why doesn’t Roland want Louie to come? I thought you guys were buddy-buddy?”
“What do you think?” Hugh tilted his head to the side.
“Shut up.” Roland frowned.
“I don’t know why.” I sat up.
“Come on, Daisy. You’re smart.” Hugh stepped toward the bed.
I thought over their words. “Wait. Because Louie made Taylor, and I have her Essence so he might want me?”
“Exactly.”
“That’s not the only reason I don’t want to call him in.” Roland stood up.
“What are the other ones?” Hugh ran a hand through his dark brown hair. “This should be interesting.”
Roland took a deep breath before answering. “She’s not Taylor. She’s never going to be Taylor.”
“Wait.” The true meaning behind his words dawned on me. “You mean he might want to hurt me?”
“Once he realizes you aren’t her. That you aren’t acting like her in any way.”
“In any way, meaning the whole desire thing?”
Roland nodded. “Taylor wouldn’t resist him.”
“But he can’t really expect me to want to be with both of you, right? How does this work?”
“At different stages of your time you want one or the other,” Violet explained. “Right now I’m with the one I made, but I have also been with my maker.”
Roland met my eye. “So that’s always something to consider.”
“Meaning If I were with you, I wouldn’t have to fear Louie’s advances?”
“You don’t have to fear anything.” Violet seemed confused. “Or you shouldn’t. You don’t actually feel fear, do you?” She watched me carefully.
“No. It was a figure of speech.” But I did feel physically uncomfortable about Louie.
“Did you really want to manipulate?” Roland asked.
“Yes, unless anyone else has a better idea of what to do.” I needed to get out of that room.
“I think I can come up with something,” Hugh grinned.
“Uh oh.” I shook my head. “What did I just suggest?”
4
Owen
I woke up with a start. The dream had been so real. I’d felt her and tasted her. It was as though she’d actually been there with me. I closed my eyes again, wanting to return to the feeling in the dream, to a place where Daisy was still mine, and she could feel how much I loved her.
I remained in the cotton sheets trying to hold on to the remnants of the dream. Her eyes, her lips. I needed to savor each morsel. After a few minutes, I accepted the truth. The dream was gone, and unless we found a miracle, so was Daisy.
It was the middle of the night, but I couldn’t stay in bed any longer. I couldn’t handle another reminder of what I couldn’t have. I dressed quickly and walked out of the room.
I’d gone along with Hailey’s idea and returned home to New Orleans for a night before we went to see Mayanne. Literally home. I was staying at my parents’ house because I didn’t have a place of my own in New Orleans anymore. I hadn’t stayed over there in years, and it felt strange to be walking around my childhood home.
I walked down the stairs, surprised to hear the TV on. No one in my family usually watched TV.
“Owen?” My dad’s voice carried into the stairwell.
“Yeah, it’s me.” I walked into the small carpeted den. It was the only room in the house my mom had relented and allowed my father to carpet. She generally won the battles in my family.
Dad turned from the rerun of an old Sci-Fi show. “Are you ready to tell me why you’re home?”
“Do you mind?” I hesitated in the doorway, unsure if I really wanted to sit with him and endure the questioning.
“I don’t mind that you’re home, but I’m worried.”
“Why are you worried?” I’d tried to hide everything from my parents. It was usually easy with my dad; my mom was the more observant one.
“Because you and your sister are getting along.” He ran his hand over his five-o’clock shadow. “You never get along.”
“That’s not true. We do sometimes.” As much as we fought, we always had each other’s backs. Hailey had mine at the moment.
He nodded. “You do when one of you is in trouble.”
“Hailey’s fine.” Thankfully. She’d given us all a few scares over the years.
“I know Hailey’s fine. That means you’re not.” Dad muted the TV.
“I’ll be ok.” I wasn’t sure if I believed the words. Losing Daisy had destroyed me.
“Come sit down.” He pointed to the worn armchair cattycorner to where he was seated.
I momentarily considered refusing, but there was no reason to alienate my family. I took the seat he suggested. “I’m sitting.”
He stretched out his long legs in front of him. “What’s going on?”
“It’s a long story.”
“Then you better start talking.” He rolled his shoulder.
“It’s nothing you can help me with, so what’s the point?”
“Do you think that little of me?” He pressed a hand to his temple.
“That’s not it.” My goal wasn’t to piss off my dad. I already had enough to worry about.
“You’re a man. You are entitled to do things your own way, but maybe put a little bit of faith in me once and awhile.”
I blinked a few times and prepared myself. “I lost someone.”
“A female someone?”
“Yes.”
“That’s happened before.” There was no judgment in his words.
“Not like this. Not like her.” No one was like Daisy. No one could make me feel so complete and so alive.
“What’s her name?” He sat forward slightly.
“Daisy.” It hurt yet strengthened me to say her name out loud.
“Pretty name.” He turned off the already muted TV.
“You didn’t have to turn that off.”
He shrugged. “No reason to have a distraction on.”
“Why are you up?” I had an excuse to be wandering the house in the middle of the night, and I assumed he had one of his own.
“Let’s finish talking about you first.”
“I already told you. I lost someone.” It was easier to say the second time, but it still hurt.
“You lost this Daisy. By lost you mean, what? She dumped you?” He didn’t sound particularly certain about his suggestion.
“No.” I shook my head. “That would be a whole lot simpler.”
“Then what?”
I looked out into the hallway. “I don’t want to upset Mom with this.”
“Your mother wants to know about your life.”
“I know.” She was well meaning, but she would get bent out of shape over my situation and try to protect me. And it was too late for that.
“I’ll use my discretion about what to tell her if you think this is going to upset her.” Dad pressed his hand into the empty couch cushion next to him.
“It’s not that it will upset her, but she’ll worry about me.”
“She’s already worried about you. We both are.” My dad didn’t usually admit that sort of thing, which worried me.
“You might not believe me.” I didn’t mind that possibility as much as you’d think. It would make the conversation shorter.
“Try me.” He smiled.
“Do you know anything about Allures?” Saying the name simultaneously angered me and sent a shot of pain through my heart.
“The mythical creatures?” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Yes. I know of them.”
“They aren’t mythical.” I waited for his reaction.
“Ok…” He nodded. Not the reaction I expected.
“And Daisy has become one. But not by choice. Or not really.”
“Let’s accept for the moment that Allures exist.”
“They do.”
“Ok, so accepting that. What do you mean she didn’t do it by choice—really?”
“In the end she had a choice—or really I did, but she wouldn’t let me make it.” I rubbed the back of my neck.
“Is there a reason you are dancing around your answer?”
“I had the choice to save her by giving up my wings.” I waited for my dad to lose it. He was the reason I even had wings. I inherited my Pteron side from him.
“And you would have?” He leaned forward on the couch.
“Yes.” I’d thought about the decision many times, and each time I’d come to the same conclusion. Daisy was worth it.
“You really love her.”
“I do.” With all my heart and soul.
“But Allures trade their capacity to feel emotion for immortality.”
“Yes.” He knew more about Allures than I expected. “But she didn’t want immortality. She never asked to become an Allure; she was given a paste and started to change.”
“Instead of letting you give up your wings, she gave up her human self.” He paused for a moment. “She loved you.”
“I know.”
“So what are you doing back here? Why is Hailey involved? Do you have a plan yet?” He clasped his hands in front of him.
“A plan for what?”
“A plan to get her back.”
“I can’t do it that easily.” If only I could.
“But there is always a way. The thing about our world is nothing is ever impossible. It may be difficult and it may be at a high cost, but you can do it.”
“What makes you so confident?” He was generally the realistic one.
“I convinced your mother to marry me. If that was possible then anything is.”
“I thought it was love at first sight.” I remembered my parents’ meeting story well. I’d always wanted the kind of relationship they had. Even forty-years later they were still incredibly in love.
“It was. But that didn’t mean she wanted to marry me. She never intended to have a family.”
“What?” That was news to me.
“She was worried about her career.”
“But she kept her career. She’s always had a job.”
“She was worried she wouldn’t be able to do both.” He moved the remote from the cushion next to him onto the coffee table.
“But getting Mom was different. That was a choice. Changing Daisy back to a human isn’t a choice.”
“I never said you could make her human again.”
“Then what do you mean?” What other solution could solve my problem?
“I mean you may be able to pull her emotion back out.”
“So she’d be an Allure but could feel?” I didn’t get how that was even possible.
“Theoretically. I’ve never heard of it being done, but I’ve never heard of a modern day Allure either.”
“But what happens if I can’t? What if she’s really gone forever?” Now that I had opened myself up to my dad, I wanted to lay it all out there.
Lost (The Allure Chronicles Book 3) Page 3