“I know. Thanks, man.”
“Anytime.”
“Nah, I mean for everything. It can’t be too much fun having me cramp your space at home as well as having to deal with me here.”
“It’s not too bad. I mean, sometimes I have to shove a pillow over Elise’s head, so she doesn’t deafen you when she cries out in ecstasy, but other than that…”
With a shake of my head, I confirmed, “I did not need to know that.”
“Seriously though, are you doing okay? You seem, I don’t know, distracted or something.”
“Yeah. I’m good. It’s nothing.”
“As long as you’re sure?” Luca didn’t look convinced and was giving me the opportunity to speak up, but I wasn’t ready yet. I needed to work through it in my own head first.
“I’m sure,” I confirmed with as much confidence in my voice as I could project. As we walked side by side through the car park towards our cars, I told him about the apartments I was looking at and giving him the heads up that I’d be moving out. Once he was satisfied, I understood there was no rush on his end, he clapped me on the shoulder, instructed me – pretty directly, to get some rest and left me standing there.
For a few minutes I sat in my car contemplating my next move. I couldn’t afford to have things fucking with my head right now. It was showtime. The season started in less than ninety-six hours and it required all my focus. This was what I’d worked my whole life for. I wasn’t about to fuck it up now by being a pussy.
I tried to call Claire again, but again, it didn’t even go through. My gut was telling me something was up. This wasn’t her. This wasn’t right. Almost as if the car was on autopilot, I headed for her place.
Pulling into the driveway, I didn’t see her car, but that didn’t mean shit. At least in my head it didn’t. Jumping out, I stuffed my hands in my pockets and bounded up the steps taking them two at a time. I was hoping she’d dropped her phone in the bath or she’d let it run dead overnight. Surely there was a simple explanation.
Knocking on the door, I stepped back and waited.
Off to my left, I saw the curtains move, then I heard the locks click. This was weird. Last time I’d been here the door hadn’t even been shut properly let alone have the deadbolt locked. With a creak, the door opened, and a guy stepped out.
“What do you want?” he growled, trying to look aggressive.
“Hey, man. I’m Seth. I’m here to see Claire. Is she home?”
I don’t know what bug had crawled up his arse, but it was irritating the hell out of him. His features were pinched and his fists hung by his side clenched.
“She doesn’t want to see you.”
Okay. Not the answer I was expecting.
“Is she here?” I tried again.
“None of your damn business.” He took a step towards me, puffing out his chest.
As much as I wanted to see Claire, I wasn’t about to get in a fistfight just to talk to her. “Look, she was supposed to meet me this morning. She never showed. I’ve been trying to reach her all day but she’s not returning my texts or answering my calls. I just wanna know if she’s okay.”
“Ah, shit.”
I couldn’t tell if that was a good ‘ah, shit’ or a bad ‘ah, shit’. Either way, he started to deflate a little bit.
“Look, man, Claire’s here. But she doesn’t want to see you.”
“Can you please just tell her Seth’s here?” I begged shamelessly.
He looked reluctant. Like the sooner I got out of here the sooner he could go back to whatever the hell he was doing, not showering that’s for sure, but after rolling his eyes so hard I’d bet money he saw his brain, he told me to wait where I was. Like I was going anywhere.
Five minutes later he appeared again, no sign of Claire.
“I told her you were here.”
“And?”
“Like I said, she doesn’t want to see you.”
“That can’t be right?” Fuck my ego was taking a hit right now, but this was all bullshit. I don’t know what the fuck had changed, but you could bet your arse I would find out.
“I don’t know what to tell you. She doesn’t want to see you.”
“Fuck that!” I growled as I tried to push past him and get inside. If Claire wanted to tell me to fuck off, then she could at least have the balls to tell me to my face.
I didn’t even make it over the threshold. For someone who didn’t look all that strong, catching me off guard, he shoved me backwards so hard, I hit the post on the veranda before falling halfway down the stairs.
Lying there, looking completely pathetic I stared up at him. He was staring me down from the top step.
“Sorry, mate. But you need to go. She doesn’t want to see you.”
23
Claire
I watched Seth tumble down the stairs, wincing with every bump. Poor guy. It looked like it hurt. When he stood up, he dusted off his butt and glared at Jason. He shouldn’t be shooting death rays at Jason, it wasn’t his fault. He was just doing what I asked.
Ducking back behind the curtain, I walked back over towards my bed. Catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I gasped, horrified. Grabbing my robe off the back of the door, I draped it over the mirror before spinning it around and shoving it into the corner. The last thing I wanted to see right now was how hideous I looked. I felt bad enough, I didn’t need to see it as well.
Pulling the hood on my jumper up over my head, I crawled carefully back into bed and yanked the covers up to my chin. I was cocooned in a pile of pillows. I don’t know where Isaac found them all and the last thing I was about to do was ask, but I was grateful for them none the less. Just feeling snug and secure was helping.
A soft knock at the door came, and I knew who it was standing on the other side. “Come in, Jason,” I called out.
The door cracked open and he stuck his head through the gap. “You can come in,” I assured him. Nervously, he stepped into my room, looking everywhere but at me.
“He’s gone.”
“I saw. Thank you.”
“I know you may not want to hear this, Claire, but you might want to think about…shit…I don’t know, texting the guy. Calling him. Something. He looked…”
“Pissed?”
“Yeah, that too. But I was going to say worried.”
“He shouldn’t worry about me,” I dismissed already feeling like the world’s biggest bitch. The last thing I needed today was another guilt trip. Isaac already had that covered.
Jason shifted his weight and rubbed his arm. Clearly this whole thing was making him uncomfortable. Poor bastard. “Where’s Isaac?” I asked.
“He’s just ducked out to get a few things. He shouldn’t be long.”
I felt my pulse pick up. My breathing was becoming harder and harder. Sitting up, I pushed the blankets away and pressed at that spot on my chest that was hurting. Trying to take a breath, I started coughing violently. Through watery eyes, I looked up at Jason and saw that he’d gone pale.
“Claire! Claire! Talk to me. Tell me what to do!” Jason was trying to keep his voice calm, but I could tell he was panicking. Not that I could judge, I was so far gone tiny black spots danced in my vision.
“I…I…” I spluttered. I couldn’t get the words out. Reaching out, I tried to grab the water bottle someone had left for me, but with my clumsy, uncoordinated hands, I just knocked it to the floor.
It sent Jason scrambling. He was on his knees scooping it up and handing it to me, careful not to make any contact. “Small sips,” he instructed.
Doing as I was told, I took a sip of the water and then another. Focusing on Jason’s kind, worried eyes, I forced myself to take slow, measured breaths. In through my nose and then out through my mouth.
“That’s it, Claire. You’re doing great.”
Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out.
“You’ve got this. It’s just you and me. Focus on you and me,” Jason repeated as he mimicke
d my breathing.
Sitting there in the quiet, our gazes locked, we breathed through the exercise until my heart felt like it wasn’t going to bust through my rib cage and kamikaze on the floor. Not only would that be messy, but it probably wouldn’t be much fun either.
“You’re doing great. You feeling better?” Jason asked, sounding like a cheerleader, something I never thought my brother’s mechanic mate, who loved beer, pizza, and farting contests would ever sound like.
“Yeah. I’m sorry…” I started only to be met with him holding his hand up to me.
“Don’t apologise, Claire. You’ve been through a lot. Anyone in your position would be in the same state. Or worse.”
“Still. You shouldn’t have to deal with me.”
“I’m not. Isaac raced down to the shops. He had a list and everything, so he won’t be long. He just asked me to hang here until he got back in case you needed anything.”
“You don’t have to babysit me.” Even the thought of being a burden annoyed me. That’s the last thing I wanted these guys to see me as, some weak, pathetic, whiny woman who they needed to take care of. I could take care of myself. At least I’d thought I could.
“I’m not babysitting. I’m hanging out. There’s a difference.” Jason winked, trying to play it cool, something he definitely was not.
“Potato. Pot-a-toh.”
“Seriously though, you sure you’re okay?”
Was I okay? That was the million-dollar question. And if I had a dollar for every time someone had asked me that in the past twelve hours, my money troubles would be a thing of the past. I wasn’t okay. I was so far from okay, NASA was going to have to send a space shuttle to get me there. But I couldn’t let anyone see it. Jason already thought I needed looking after, there was no way I was about to confirm it.
“I will be,” I replied determined. It wasn’t like I had a choice. As much as I’d like to hide under the covers and pretend the world didn’t exist, as much as I’d like to rewind the last twenty-four hours, back to when I woke up wrapped in Seth’s arms, I wasn’t living in a fairy-tale. This was real life. And my life really sucked right now. But I’d get there. I’d bounce back. I had no idea when or how, but I would. There were no other options.
“Well, if you need anything…”
“I know where to find you. Thanks, Jason.”
“Anytime, Claire. Get some rest.”
“I will.”
He stood up, his knees cracking loudly as he winced before hobbling towards the door.
“Hey, Jason?” I called out as he turned the handle.
“Yeah?”
“Thanks for helping with Seth. He’s a good guy, I just couldn’t deal with…”
“You don’t have to explain anything to me, Claire. You do you and the rest can wait.”
Feeling like I did need to explain, I ignored his comment and pressed on. Maybe I needed to hear it myself so I believed it. “I don’t want Seth to see me like this. I don’t want to see the pity in his eyes. The last thing I need is for him looking at me like… like you are right now.”
“Hey! What am I doing wrong?”
“Nothing. You’re doing absolutely nothing wrong. I know you want to go find the guy and beat his arse. And you want to take my pain away…Am I wrong?”
“Not entirely.”
“But this is something you can’t fix.”
“I really want to.”
“I know you do. And I appreciate it. But we both know you can’t. And Seth can’t either. And I like the guy. I don’t want him to think I’m broken…”
“But you are.” Jason’s words stung a little, but I couldn’t blame him. Right now, I felt broken. But I’d get there. I just needed some time.
“I’m not, but that’s what you see. It’s what Seth will see. And I don’t want that.”
“I get that.”
“Thanks Jason. You’re a good guy.”
He bent down and kissed my forehead so softly it was barely there. “You’re an awesome girl Claire. And you got this. You know that. And we’ve got your back. All you need to do is ask.”
“I know. And I appreciate it.”
With a nod, he closed the door softly and left me sitting there staring at the ceiling. Part of me knew he was right. I owed Seth an apology. None of this was his fault, but not today. Today I was on doctors’ orders to stay in this bed and try and rest. I’d already been scolded once for getting up from Isaac, I wasn’t really keen on testing the limits.
Wriggling back down in my bed as carefully as I could, I untucked the sling from around my neck and flexed my fingers. They were sore and swollen but I’d live. After swallowing down a couple of pain pills, I lay back down in my nest, closed my eyes, and willed sleep to drag me under. It was all too much. Too many thoughts. Too many worries. Future Claire could deal with them. They’d still be there tomorrow or the next day. Today, I napped.
My eyes sprang open. Someone was in my room.
“Fuck it!” I heard them swear.
Sitting up, my heart was racing, and it felt like it was going to explode out of my chest. Ignoring the ache in my arm, I pushed myself up only to see my idiot brother, Isaac trying to manoeuvre a chair through the doorway. What the hell was he doing? There was no way it was going to fit in there.
“What are you doing?” I rasped out, my mouth dry.
Turning around, Isaac had a look on his face that screamed ‘busted’. It was almost comical. “Nothing. Don’t worry about it. Go back to sleep.”
“I’m fine,” I tried to assure him as he turned his attention back to the chair now wedged in the doorway.
Obviously, he wasn’t going to listen, so instead, I propped myself up against the headboard and watched him argue with the inanimate object. Five minutes and an impressive string of curse words later, and he’d managed to get it through and into my room. Now he had to find somewhere to put it. There wasn’t a lot of space, even if I picked up the clothes and shoes scattered everywhere. With one final grunt, he picked up the clothes, squeezing his eyes closed and trying not to see the G-string on the top.
“There,” he announced with a huff, dropping into the seat.
“Happy now?” I asked, unable to keep the giggle from my tone.
“Yep. You?”
“I still don’t understand why you needed a chair in here. There’s not exactly room for it.”
“’Cause my arse was getting sore sitting on the floor,” Isaac offered by way of explanation.
“You know, you don’t have to watch over me,” I told him, letting him off the hook. “I’m okay.”
“No, you’re not.”
“Fine. I’m not. But I will be.”
“Come on, Claire. Let me call Mum. She’s better at dealing with this sort of stuff than I am.”
I almost caved in to his request. He looked so sad. So defeated. So desperate I almost agreed just to put him out of his misery. But I couldn’t. As much as I loved my mother, the moment she found out what had happened she’d fly into overprotective, panicked mother mode and right now, that was the last thing I wanted to deal with.
“How about I make you a deal,” I countered.
“Go on. I’m listening.”
“Give me until Monday. Let me be miserable and wallow until Monday.”
“And what happens on Monday?”
“If I’m not back to my normal self…”
“I don’t think you’ll ever be the same after this, Claire, you can’t be. Hell! It didn’t even happen to me, and I know I won’t be the same after this.”
“If I’m not back to the new normal then by Monday, you can call Mum.”
Isaac rocked back in his chair, sighed heavily before looking straight at me. “Fine.”
“Thank you. I’ll be okay. You know this.”
“I hope so, Claire Bear. I really do. I hate seeing you like this.”
“I hate being like this,” I admitted sadly.
“Well, since we’re not call
ing Mum, I bought some shit that might cheer you up,” Isaac offered, standing up. “Back in a second.”
Having a second to myself, I started second-guessing everything. I may have just made a deal with the devil which would backfire on me and end up biting me in the arse. Pinching the bridge of my nose, I willed the headache that was building to hold off. I don’t know if it was from dehydration, hunger, lack of sleep, stress, or the hits I’d taken. It was too soon to take more pain killers, so I’d just have to suck it up.
Without any time to dwell on it, Isaac barrelled back through the door with a bulging shopping bag dangling from his fingers.
“What the hell did you buy?”
“Um…” He looked a little sheepish.
“You have no idea, do you?” I teased.
“Sure, I do,” he lied, tipping the bag upside-down, the contents spilling out all over the foot of my bed.
“Holy fuck, Isaac! You didn’t need to do this!”
I couldn’t help but smile. My brother was a sweetheart. He might look big and tough, and that’s what he wanted everyone to think he was, but it was bullshit. Complete and utter bullshit. He was a marshmallow and I loved him for it. The proof of just how soft he was, covered my bed. There were trashy gossip magazines, three different blocks of chocolate – and not the cheap shit either, the fancy, good ones – tissues, more pain killers, a pair of fluffy pink bed socks, and a hot water bottle with the cutest koala cover you’d ever seen.
“You bought me gummy bears?” I asked, my voice hitching in my throat as I picked up the packet.
Rubbing the back of his neck, Isaac looked embarrassed. I had no idea why. He had nothing to be embarrassed about. He was the world’s best brother. “Ah, yeah. I remembered you used to like them, but if you don’t…”
“No! I do. I do! I just can’t remember the last time I had them. This is incredible, Isaac. Seriously. Thank you.”
“Well, if anything it made you smile so that’s a win.”
“Definitely a win. You’re going to make some lucky girl a great husband one day.”
Rookie (Playing The Field Book 2) Page 14