by Douglas Rees
"What she said, I guess," Justin replied. "You figure it out."
"Well, I'm just a dumb gadje," I said. "I'm not fit to hang out with princesses anyway."
I got up from the table.
"I'll see you in science," Justin said. I didn't answer.
I didn't go to science. What was the point? Ms. Vukovitch might as well have been teaching it in jenti-speak as far as I was concerned. And if Justin took an hour to explain it to me after school, so what? I still didn't really get it. How could I, when I didn't have the years of background every jenti kid had?
But that wasn't really what was bothering me. I already knew I wasn't good enough for this school. I wasn't good enough for Ileana. Ileana the beautiful and brilliant and royal, who always did everything right, because she knew all the rules in this place, and I never would.
I thought of my "epic" again and cringed. My English class at Cotton Mather had been on page twelve of Macbeth. That was about my speed. Maybe I should go back and see if they'd made it to the end of act 1 yet. But what would that solve? Nothing. I didn't belong there, either.
I went down to the creek. It was even smaller now than it had been when Gregor and his gang had tried to throw Justin into it. A miserable little trickle ran through the dirty snow, under a sky just as dirty. The water moved fast, without going anywhere. It looked lost.
I took a look around at the beautiful buildings with their lights glowing dimly behind the dark-tinted glass, where the elegant, quiet, smart strangers were busy
learning the things that made them better than me. And Iieana was their damn princess.
No matter how hard I tried, I'd never be good enough.
It was a long way home. I started to walk.
BRAMS
MOM Was Surprised when I came home early, and on foot, but she believed me when I told her I wasn't feeling well.
"With this filthy winter weather, I'm surprised we're not all sick all the time," she said.
"I'm not exactly sick," I said. "I pulled a muscle in gym. I'll be okay in a day or two. I guess."
And I limped upstairs, went into my room, and sat in the dark.
Justin called that night.
"Didn't see you in class this afternoon," he said. "Wondered if everything was all right."
"No," I said.
There was a pause. Then Justin said, "Anything I can do to help?"
"No," I said.
"See you tomorrow?"
"No," I said. "Not tomorrow."
"Oh. Okay. See you Wednesday, then," Justin said.
"I don't know," I said. "I don't know when I'm coming back." Or if.
"Well," he said, and he paused again, "want to come over Friday after school and do Illyria?"
"No," I said. "Not this week."
Justin sighed. "Okay," he said. "See you."
"See you."
There is a place you can go that is below down and beyond bad. When you get there, every minute that passes goes by like an hour. Every hour that passes feels like an achievement without a goal. And everything around you makes you hurt. I was in that place now, my own personal anti-Illyria. And there was no one I could even tell about it. I just sat in my room, wrapped in my shame and pain.
I stayed in my room. When Dad asked me what was wrong, I told him "Nothing." When Mom wanted to take me to the doctor, I said no. They let me alone after that. I think they knew that what was wrong wasn't anything a doctor could help. Nothing could.
Justin called six times. Three times the first day, twice the second day, and once the third. My mom took the calls.
Ileana never called.
On Friday, Dad said, "Cody, either you go to school today or I'm taking you to the hospital."
"It'd be a waste of time," I said.
"Which one, the school or the hospital?" Dad said.
"Either one," I said. "Can't we go home?"
He came into my room and sat down on my bed.
"No, Cody, much as I'd like to, I don't think we can," he said.
I raised my head. "You mean you want to go back to California?"
"It's home to me, too," he sighed. "Every morning when I get up and look out the window and see that filthy snow in the yard, I feel like killing myself."
"Well, then, why don't we?" I asked.
"Because it's my career," Dad said. "In California, I'd reached a dead end. You know I wasn't happy at Billings, Billings and Billings, but you don't know everything about why. It wasn't just that they wouldn't promote me. It was that they were telling other firms I wasn't as good as I looked. They were lying about me to keep anyone else from hiring me away."
I couldn't believe grown-ups would do something like that. Then I thought of Horvath.
"So I wrote to a few friends here in Massachusetts," he said. "You know I went to law school in this state. I was able to use their help to get me admitted to the Massachusetts bar on motion. I imagine you know what that is?"
"Without having to take the bar exam," I said.
Dad nodded. "A professional courtesy. And Leach, Swindol and Twist took me like that." He snapped his fingers. "Now I have a chance at last to be the kind of lawyer I always saw myself as when I was grinding out those three years in law school. And, not
incidentally, a chance to give your mother and you a much higher quality of life than we've ever had before."
"What quality of life are you talking about?" I said. "You're not happy, I'm not happy, and I'm sure Mom isn't happy."
"I'm talking about things like this house," Dad said. "You like it, don't you?"
"It's okay," I said. "But every time you go outside, you're still in Massachusetts."
"I know you don't like it here," Dad said. "But remember this. You don't have to stay forever. When you finish high school, in not much more than three years, you'll have the option of going to college somewhere back home. I'm assuming your grades from Vlad will be as good as everyone else's.
"As for your mother and me, we have each other, and I have my work, which, believe it or not, I find very satisfying. In a few years, if I score some really good cases, we may be returning ourselves. Perhaps we'll even be able to retire early. It's amazing how much business they get at Leach, Swindol and Twist."
For the first time, I was seeing how different my father and I were. I could never care enough about a life full of stuff to make myself and my whole family miserable to get it. And I was pretty sure that if I had a kid like me, I'd want to find out what was wrong with him rather than explaining myself, the way he just had. But Dad, I decided, was Dad. He was who he was and he couldn't be anyone else. Not with me, at least. It was too bad, but it was just one more thing.
"Now, if there's something wrong at school, maybe I can help," Dad said. "Is there something you'd like me to speak to Horvath about?"
"Nope," I said, standing up. "I guess I'll get ready to go."
So my body went to school on Friday. It sat in the classes, and I think it maybe even took notes. It ate at dinner and it ran around in gym. It ignored Ileana and it spoke a couple of times to Justin. But I wasn't there. I don't know where I was.
Finally, I went to the natatorium. I was alone in there, but so what? I was alone everywhere. I didn't give a thought to where the other Impalers were.
As I came out of the locker room, my feet went out from under me, and the next thing I knew, Barzini was kicking me. He had his shoes on.
As I tried to get up, I noticed Louis Lapierre and Brian Blatt holding a piece of clear plastic fishing line at ankle height. They were, of course, laughing.
"Guess what, stoker?" Barzini said. "Horvath found another gadje. My brother. He starts Monday."
He kicked me in the ribs.
"So now, who needs you?"
He kicked me again as I tried to get up. Blatt and Lapierre grabbed my arms.
"Thought we'd forget about this, didn't you, stoker?" Barzini said.
Kick.
"Told you you were gonna die."
&n
bsp; "You think too much," Blatt said, and laughed some more.
"Go, Barzini!" said Lapierre.
Barzini kicked me again. I gasped. I was sure the next kick would break my ribs. But there was no next kick.
Instead, there was the sound of Barzini howling and Justin's voice saying something like, "Know something? That's not nice."
Then Barzini was sort of flying over my head on his way to the pool, and there was a loud splash in the middle of it.
Then Brian Blatt followed him, making a sound that might have been "Help" but sounded more like "Hooooooolph."
Lapierre did some begging and cursing as Justin picked him up and heaved him overhead. Then there was another splash, and the three of them were in the middle of the pool, calling us names.
And Justin was standing at the pool's edge with his arms folded. Vampire strength. Justin had just as much of it as any jenti when he wanted to use it. That thin little arm had held me in place with no trouble at all at Ileana's Fifteenth.
I tried to get up. Barzini had done a worse number on me than Gregor or Hie, but I seemed to be basically all right—if intense physical pain and an inability to raise yourself from the floor qualify as basically all right.
Barzini paddled to the opposite side of the pool and started to climb out.
"Nope," Justin said. "Not till we say you can."
Barzini cursed him.
"You don't really want to make me mad, do you?" Justin said.
Actually, I think he was mad already. His fangs were out.
Lapierre started to whine.
"Come on, let us out," he said. "These are our school clothes."
Justin just shook his head.
"Want me to let them out?" he whispered to me.
"Yeah, okay," I said. The look in Justin's eyes was even more frightening than his fangs.
"Okay, we're going to let you go," Justin said. "But if you ever gang up on Cody again, you're all a bunch of brams. Brams. Do you know what that means?"
I could tell from the looks on their faces that Blatt and Barzini and Lapierre knew exactly what it meant. They scrambled up out of the pool and ran to the lockers.
Justin turned to me and whispered, "I've always wanted to say something like that."
"Thanks," I said. "If you hadn't come along, they'd have stomped me flat."
Justin nodded. "You all right?" he asked.
"I've felt better," I said. "But nothing's broken."
"Let's sit down for a minute," Justin said. "Give those brams a chance to leave."
He helped me limp over to a bench.
"How'd you happen to show up just then?" I asked. "You're supposed to be in the library."
"Oh. I heard something like this might happen," he said. "Those guys talk pretty loud."
I felt my throat get tight.
"Know something?" I said when I was sure I could talk. "You're the best friend I ever had."
"You too," Justin said.
We heard the outer doors of the natatorium slam. The gray light from the windows high behind the bleachers faded, and the water in the pool turned dark.
Finally I said, "Would it be okay if you helped me get home? Maybe you could stay for dinner."
"Sure," my best friend said.
MR. HORVATH TALKS TO CHARON
Justin helped me limp to a limo and went home with me.
Mom had a fit when we came through the door. She called Dad to come home, and when he saw how I looked, he was ready to sue the school, the township, the families of the rest of the team, and the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. But Justin and I got them calmed down after a while.
When they were cooled off, Mom and Dad adopted Justin and gave him a car—okay, not really, but that was their attitude. I told them the truth—that he'd saved me from getting beaten up much worse than I had been. I didn't mention anything about how a little guy like him could do that, and they didn't ask. It was enough that he'd saved precious me. Justin glowed under their praise.
I guess he hadn't had much of that in his life. When Dad drove us back to his house that night, he introduced himself to Mrs. Warrener and told her all the things he'd already told Justin. By then, my friend was so happy he was almost crying. Even as banged up as I was, seeing him so happy made me feel better.
That was the good part. That, and getting to lie around for a couple of days being waited on hand and foot.
The bad stuff came Monday when I went back to Vlad. Mom and Dad both wanted me to stay home, but I wasn't going to give my buddies on the team that satisfaction.
It turned out I didn't need to worry about that.
Just before nine o'clock, Ms. Prentiss came into math class and asked me to report to Mr. Horvath.
Justin was already there. He was sitting on the big sofa, hunched over. Charon was in his usual place under the table. He looked up when I came in.
"Master Cody. Sit down," Horvath said. He didn't sound happy.
I sat down next to Justin. Horvath started pacing in front of us.
"Do you boys know what you have done to this school?" he asked finally.
What we've done to the school? Yeah. Exactly nothing. What is this about?
"You have caused the loss of three of our best water polo players," Horvath said. "As well as the loss of a new
member of the team," he almost shouted. "I have had calls this morning—most unpleasant calls, I might add— from the families of Master Blatt, Master Barzini, and Master Lapierre. All of them are withdrawing from this school because of the vicious and unprovoked attack you two made on them Friday afternoon."
"Wait a minute," I said. "They jumped me. All Justin did was—"
"Be silent," Horvath snapped. "Because of your actions, Vlad Dracul now has too few players to participate in the next round of water polo matches, only a few days from now. This will place us on probation with the state and may cause us to lose our accreditation if the missed games cannot be made up. The future existence of this school may be at stake. Do you boys know how hard it is to get gadje to come here?" He growled something in jenti that I was glad I couldn't understand. Then, in a calmer voice, he went on. "If it were possible to persuade the families of our departing students to remain by offering them your expulsions, you would already be gone."
Justin gasped.
"Unfortunately, that is not an option they are prepared to accept," Horvath went on. "They are afraid that some other jeni—some other student might attack them in the same unprovoked way that Master Justin did Friday." He turned to Justin. "Such a naked display of aggression is something I never would have expected from you, of all people. You have been raised to know how fragile is the tolerance that makes New Sodom the refuge it is for—for all of us. Such an act may have repercussions far beyond the walls of this place."
"I'm sorry, sir." Justin bowed his head. "Sorry. Yes, I should think you would be, Master Justin," Horvath said. "One should expect nothing more from Master Cody than that he should act as what he is. But you. You have known all your life what was expected of you."
"I do know what's expected of me, sir," Justin said.
"Then you agree that there is no excuse for what you did. Good. Because while I still need this gadje, I have no particular need of you. Quite the contrary, in fact. And I have decided to expel you. You will never be allowed to return to Vlad Dracul."
Justin went white.
"Just a minute," I said. "Those three guys jumped me. Barzini tried to beat me to a pulp while the other two held me down. Are you saying Justin should have let them do it?"
"That is enough!" Horvath shouted at me. He leveled his finger at my nose. He had very long fingers, and the nails were filed to points. "You will—"
But I never found out what I would do because at that moment, Charon raised his head. That was all he did, raise his head and look at Horvath. But Horvath stopped talking. I mean, he stopped talking to me. He started having this one-sided conversation with Charon.
"You do not understa
nd," he said to the wolf. "It is not as simple as they wish to make it."
There was silence. But it felt like something was going on in that silence.
"I am not being dishonorable. I am protecting the school," Horvath said.
Silence. Charon's big yellow eyes just kept looking at Horvath.
"No. I will not," Horvath said.
More silence and more eyes.
"I will not do it."
Something in Charon's face changed. It didn't look like a threat, any more than Charon's expressions always looked like threats. It reminded me of the way Charon had looked at me the first time he saw me. Sort of bored and contemptuous.
Horvath saw it, too.
"Very well," he said. And he turned back to me and Justin. "It may be that you have some right on your side after all," he said. "In any case, no purpose will be served by punishing you. The damage is done. You may go."
Charon's tail hit the floor like the rap of a gavel.
Horvath stood up. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "It may be that I have spoken somewhat too hastily, in my anxiety for the school. If so . . ." He gulped. "I apologize."
Charon's head went back down on the floor. He closed one eye.
Justin went out ahead of me, holding himself as straight as a ruler, keeping control.
Charon's one open eye met mine. I did the most jenti thing I could think of. I bowed.
The big yellow eye closed, then opened.
I wouldn't swear it was a wink, but on the other hand, it couldn't have been anything else.
DIVING IN
If yOU think Tracy, Falbo, and Pyrek missed Barzini and Blatt and Lapierre, you're wrong. None of the Impalers liked each other, it turned out. In fact, they were glad they were gone.
"Barzini and them were the biggest creeps on the team, Elliot," Tracy told me that afternoon. "Next to you, anyway."
"Hey, Elliot, get Tracy thrown out, too," Falbo said. "He sucks."
Tracy replied that it was Falbo who sucked, and they debated that while I got my trunks on.
Underskinker came out of his office and gave me a dirty look.
"I don't allow no flghtin' on my team," he said.
"Neither does Justin Warrener," I said.
"Who?"
"He's the guy who stopped the fight. The fight on your team," I said. "You should meet him sometime."