When we sit, we may have the experience of observing. Observing includes the observer and the object that is being observed. This is dualistic. As long as we are dualistic, we can’t experience being, seeing, hearing, smelling, touching. As long as there is a division between you and something else, there is a separation. You can make a conscious effort of seventy, eighty or even up to ninety percent to eliminate this gap. But as long as you are consciously trying and holding an object, you can’t quite do it. The very last ten percent is the most important effort. The way to realize yourself one hundred percent is to penetrate into samadhi, the state of nonthinking. As long as we remain within the confines of the thinking mind, we can’t experience the state of nonthinking. If we can’t experience nonthinking, we will not understand what our life truly is. Please realize this for yourself. Just sit!
Just-sitting is perhaps the most difficult thing to do. For in order to just-sit, we have to forget the self. What does that mean? There are no thoughts because there is no thinker. Instead, we are the thoughts that come up. There are no bird songs because there are no concepts of bird songs. Instead, we are those sounds. In the same way we are the raindrops, we are the thunder and the lightning. In sitting, the whole universe is revealed and manifested.
In zazen we do not expect anything. Zazen is not a technique to achieve anything, it is much more natural. And yet, somehow the most natural thing is difficult to do. How come? Because we think. There is nothing wrong with thinking. Thinking is a very natural process, but we are so easily conditioned by our thinking and give too much value to it. We try to take care of ourselves, of our ego structures, by thinking. Thinking is an abstraction. It is not being, it is thinking about being. And since we are born and die seven thousand times in one second, the conditions that we think about are already gone. We are thinking about shadows rather than being this very life itself.
A famous koan states that mind is ungraspable. Since mind and body are not two, this body is ungraspable. And yet there is a way to appreciate the ungraspable. How? By being it. The whole, complete being manifesting as is. Everything is here right now. Nirvana is right here. But somehow we ignore that fact, and we start doing something else or looking for something else. All these expectations are unnecessary. There is no need to look for any further accomplishment or attainment of anything. Everything is already here.
Zazen is our life, the life of the Buddha Way, the way to practice the Buddha dharma. Dogen Zenji wrote: “To study the Buddha Way is to study the self. To study the self is to forget the self. To forget the self is to be enlightened by the ten thousand dharmas.” To study this life and to forget the self mean to truly be the Way. The Way is not a path or a direction. The Way is everything. Each of us is the Way. At each moment, everything is all together liberated, manifesting as a whole. It is not one’s own activity—for in zazen the one has disappeared—but the activity of all the buddhas. All phenomena of the entire universe are unified with one’s own activity. This is the kind of zazen we should appreciate.
The experience of this body and mind as is is the plain, universal fact that all the ancient masters realized. It is the realization that the Way is complete. Everything is here. No artificial devices are needed. But the Way is difficult to realize because our conditioned mind creates a gap between Oneself and oneself. If we are always thinking, if we see our life only in dualistic terms, then we cannot forget the self. Therefore devices can sometimes be effective. Some devices are like surgical treatments, others more like herbal treatments. Removing the bad parts in surgery can be effective but sometimes drastic. Herbal treatments, on the other hand, are a more gradual process and are also effective. But even so, when we realize the Way, there is no quick and there is no gradual. How can we experience this Way?
There are many different kinds of aspects to our life and practice. I simply encourage you in one way or another to penetrate into this life and utilize any opportunity that is available. If you think it is necessary, you can try all sorts of schemes or devices. But do not forget that everything is with you to begin with. When you sit, please remind yourself how you can sit best. When you do that, all the buddhas and ancestors guarantee it is the right way. Have good trust in yourself—not in the one that you think you should be, but in the One that you are.
1. To sit in the half lotus position, place the right foot under the left thigh, then place the left foot over the right thigh.—Eds.
2. Norman Waddell and Masao Abe, trans., “Fukanzazengi (The Universal Promotion of the Principles of Zazen) by Dogen Zenji,” in On Zen Practice II: Body, Breath and Mind, ed. Hakuyu Taizan Maezumi and Bernard Tetsugen Glassman (Los Angeles: Zen Center of Los Angeles, 1976), 14.
THREE “PILLOWS” OF ZEN
WHAT IS THE PRIMARY MATTER of our practice? It always comes back to oneself, to one’s own life. We say clarify yourself. Clarify the matter of your life and death. How do we do that? Dogen Zenji says, “Forget the self.” Are you forgetting yourself or are you reinforcing yourself? This is very important.
What is the state of forgetting oneself? There is a book called The Three Pillars of Zen.1 As the title indicates, there are certain foundations in Zen. When I first heard this title, I thought it was Three Pillows of Zen. It seems to me that pillars or pillows does not make much difference. In order to sleep comfortably, you need these three pillows. Otherwise, you will have nightmares.
The first pillow is samadhi. One common meaning of samadhi is concentration. In order to forget oneself, concentrate on one single thing. We have the simple analogy that the mind is like water in a bucket. When we move the bucket around, the water moves, too. Let the bucket sit, and the water eventually calms down. If the water is muddy, it gets cloudy when we stir it up. But leave it for a while, and the mud sinks down to the bottom and the water becomes transparent.
Sitting is sometimes compared to this, but there is one big difference between settling the body down in zazen and the muddy water settling down in the bucket. The crucial difference is our conscious mind, which functions autonomously. It moves by itself, stirring up the water and mud. So how to keep the mind transparent? By concentration. When you sit, if you let that autonomous mind go on, it goes on and on and on. It never stops. The conscious mind is comfortable that way because there is constant change, constant distraction. It is almost like watching television. Imagine that your mind is a blank television tube with all kinds of thoughts arising all the time. It can be very entertaining.
We have various schemes, such as counting the breath, to reduce the numerous thoughts that bubble up. Counting the breath is one of the beginning practices for students as a way of strengthening their concentration. The practice is to count to ten. You can count your inhalation separately and your exhalation separately, or you can count both as one. The activities of your mind are reduced to ten, or maybe twenty. It is a very effective way to calm yourself down. When you do this, you raise your power of concentration.
Raising samadhi power is always gradual; no one can do it overnight. I think this is true for any kind of practice. You do the same thing over and over, just practicing the most basic thing. When I was a kid, I practiced Japanese archery. You draw the bow over and over in order to master the form. You need to learn how to pull, how much to pull, how to face the target, how to open the legs, where to hit; you need to master not only the position of the hands but also the position of the feet. So when you really become an expert, the arrow hits the target even if you close your eyes. Of course, my arrows hit emptiness!
In art, in sports, in music, in anything, we practice basic things over and over. When we do this kind of practice we become stronger, both mentally and physically. Even with all this practicing, I am still a rough man. When I was young I was crazy. My nickname was Gangster. I did not think I was a terrible boy, but people told me I was. If I had not practiced zazen I might have ended up a gangster. I feel I was saved by zazen. So focus, concentrate!
Another implication of sa
madhi is evenness. If our mind is even, if our mind is open, then we can accept everything that happens in the same way. We are not attached to one thing over another. If our mind is not even or open, then what we perceive will appear deformed to us. So how do we make our mind even?
A third implication of samadhi is to properly perceive externals. How can you properly perceive externals? By emptying yourself, by forgetting yourself, by forgetting your thoughts and concepts about those things you perceive as externals. In other words, have the proper relationship with externals. We often talk about everything as it is. Are we really perceiving everything as it is? If so, fine. But unfortunately, it is often not so. Even seeing the same thing, fifty of us perceive it differently. How can we perceive properly? By making ourselves empty; by not being attached to our concepts of the things we perceive. This is the first pillow. Make yourself comfortable with this pillow.
The second pillow is to forget oneself. How does forgetting oneself happen? By raising samadhi. There are many different states of samadhi, many different levels of concentration. But one such experience or state is not a big thing. Dogen Zenji says it is like sticking your head into a gateway. Why is it so special to become aware of one’s own life? Isn’t it rather extraordinary that we do not realize who we are?
This life is ungraspable. Why is it ungraspable? Because life is limitless. We can understand this intellectually up to a point. But how can we fully experience this unlimited, boundless life? Simply forget the self Be this life! Without exception, we are all this limitless, ungraspable, nonthinking life. This is the second pillow.
When you do zazen, simply identify yourself as zazen. How do you identify yourself with Yourself? In a sense, you are already doing this whether or not you realize this. Still, you sense a gap between your apparent self, which suffers and struggles, and your true self. Your apparent self and your true self are not separate. This is difficult to take in, isn’t it? We cannot grasp this very state of existence through intellectual means. The true self rejects such human devices.
When you really grasp this fact, joy is just joy. Pain is just pain. But in the midst of joy and pain, there is no joy and there is no pain. In the midst of thinking, there is no thinking. In the midst of the self, there is no self. This is the fundamental wisdom of zazen.
The third pillow is actualization. When you forget the self, you are liberated and confirmed by all things. This is the realization of the oneness of life. You then must extend this realization into your daily life and make your life the realized life.
So mere sitting is not enough. You must reveal this wisdom in the way you live. How can we live this realization? Just living in a realized way is still not enough. We must share it together, with each other. How can we share it best with everybody, so that all of us can live the enlightened life? That is the third pillow.
These three pillows are the basics of our practice. When we carefully examine what different masters say, it may sound like they are talking about different things, but actually they are not, they are simply emphasizing different aspects of this process.
In some ways koan study can be seen as running parallel to these three pillows. Generally, we do not begin koan study unless we have mastered some level of concentration. Hakuin Zenji talks about nine different stages of koan practice, but these stages can be reduced to three. The first is to realize who you are, what your life is. This stage corresponds to samadhi, to an open, even mind that perceives externals properly. The famous koan Mu is one important koan in this group.2 The next stage is to function freely. You cannot be static. Do whatever you are supposed to do freely. This corresponds to the second pillow, forgetting oneself. We act freely when we are not attached to this or that. The third stage is to further accomplish the Way, trim off all unnecessary parts of oneself. This corresponds to the third pillow, actualization. When we actualize our realization of the wholeness of life, then our daily life itself is nirvana; in fact, then words like realization or actualization are no longer necessary, for they are schemes and devices that we no longer need.
Of course, we can’t just jump into this actualization. This is why our practice advances little by little, though in a sense, there is no little by little. And yet, even though we are the Way, we don’t know it. Even though our life is already realized, we don’t see it as such. How is our life in realization? Just as we are. Just as you are. Just as everything is. How can we appreciate our life in this way? This is a very basic issue of our practice.
1. Philip Kapleau, The Three Pillars of Zen: Teaching, Practice, and Enlightenment (New York: Anchor, 1989).
2. Maezumi Roshi is referring to the following koan: A monk asked Joshu, “Does a dog have Buddha nature?” Joshu replied, “Mu [nonbeing, negation]!”—Eds.
THE DHARMA SEALS
PRACTICE CAN BE DESCRIBED in four steps. The first is, listen to the dharma. How do you listen? You can listen with your ears. You can also listen with your eyes, as you do with a written document. Next, reflect upon the teachings that you have heard. If you think the teachings are true, then the next step is practice. Work with the teachings. There are all kinds of teachings, and even when you practice them, the important points may not be clear to you. So the fourth step is to verify the teachings through your practice. Confirm the teachings—experience the teachings—not in your head but throughout your whole being. This is the experience of realization.
The dharma seals are impermanence, no-self, and peace. Do you understand the plain fact of impermanence? Everything is in constant change. I’ve already mentioned one of the teachings of the Abhidharma,1 that in just one second life is changing thousands and thousands of times. In one second! Our conscious awareness simply cannot follow such rapid change. And yet we are living this life. How are we living it? What kind of things do we spend our time thinking about? The past is already gone, yet we cling to it. The future is not yet here, but we dwell on it. Even when we talk about now, there is no such thing. Even as we talk, the now we are talking about is already gone.
The life in our heads, the life we think is our life, is not our real life. Our real life is the life of everything and everyone. We constantly talk about doing this and doing that, about things already gone or yet to come. We play with our life in our heads, but this is not our real existence. We should not mix them up.
I am not devaluing thoughts. Just do not mix up what we think with what actually is. Buddha said that everything is constantly changing. Constant change is the real life, and is therefore unknowable. Since we also are constantly changing, each of us is also unknowable. And this unknowable, impersonal no-self, not fixed in one way or another by any kind of values or attachments, is working perfectly. That no-self is not attached to anything, so it can work with everything. Do you understand impermanence, this no fixed thing, which is no-self? When you do not see this no-self, suffering is waiting for you. When you see that nothing is fixed, there is peace.
Impermanence is also an encouragement for our practice. When you enter practice through feeling impermanence, your practice will be stronger and you will not easily regress.
These three dharma seals are not three different things but rather one thing—your life—from three different perspectives. Sometimes a fourth dharma seal of suffering is included. This suffering is an ongoing sense that you are somehow not complete, that your life is somehow not whole. So you can appreciate your life from these perspectives and see how easily they overlap. For example: When you understand impermanence, you understand the nature of suffering and no-self. When you understand no-self, that is the peace of nirvana. The word nirvana is translated in different ways, such as “perfect bliss” or “extinction of all desires.” But nirvana and impermanence are like front and back. When you understand impermanence, you find peace. When you truly see your life as nirvana, then impermanence is taken care of. So rather than figuring out how to deal with impermanence, consider these dharma seals all together as the dharma to be realized.
> Remember the four steps of practice that we described in the beginning: listen to the teachings, reflect on them, practice them, and finally experience them in your life. Examine your practice. Refresh and encourage yourself. Realize your life as peace itself, your life as it is now. We do not need to expect anything; in a sense we do not need to try to do something about being peaceful. The reason is simple: peace is already here as your life. Isn’t it fascinating? Realizing constant change and no fixed self, you yourself are peace. Then being peace, how are you living?
1. The Abhidharma is a collection of doctrinal commentary on the Buddha dharma and is the earliest compilation of Buddhist philosophy and psychology.
WHY ZAZEN?
WHY ZAZEN?
This question was commonly asked by Dogen Zenji’s students. In Shobogenzo Bendowa, Dogen Zenji asks eighteen questions about zazen and answers them himself. Let us look at the first three questions.
The first question is: “We have now heard that the merit of zazen is lofty and great, but an ignorant person may be doubtful and say, ‘There are many gates for Buddha dharma. Why do you recommend zazen exclusively?’ ” The answer: “Because this is the front gate for the Buddha dharma.”
Many of you have this same question. There are so many different ways to appreciate the dharma. We study the dharma. Our life itself is dharma. Even without doing zazen we can practice, we can understand, maybe we can understand even better. So why is there so much emphasis on sitting? Because it is the front gate for penetrating the teachings of the Buddha.
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