by Ali Parker
“And you’re not?” he asked as he began unlacing his shoes.
“No, not at all.”
“Why?”
“Because I understand her,” I said, wiggling my toes in the cool fountain water. “She’s not the villain she makes herself seem. She just wants what’s best for you. And in her mind, that’s not me. And I can accept that.”
“Piper, I—”
“Asher,” I smiled at him, “you don’t owe me any apologies. I’m fine. I promise. I don’t take it personally. I said my piece with her, and it’s in her court if she decides to put any stock in my words.”
He was quiet for a minute as he rolled up his pant legs and joined me to put his feet in the water. He sucked in a sharp breath. “That’s cold as hell.”
“Don’t be a baby.”
“Can I ask what you said to her?”
I considered keeping it to myself, but there was no sense in that. Not when I cared about him so much and was willing to tell her what I thought in the first place. I swung my legs back and forth to let the water roll over the top of my feet. “I told her she was smothering you and trying to steal things from you that brought you joy. And I told her if she gave you some breathing room, she’d realize you’re exactly the man she always hoped you’d be.”
Asher stared at me.
I swallowed. “Did I overstep?”
“No,” he breathed. “What am I going to do without you?”
I reached up and pressed my hand to his cheek. He leaned into my touch, and I smiled at him. “You’ll be fine. I promise.”
He kissed my palm and then pulled me close to him to kiss my lips while we cooled off with our feet in the water. I snuggled into his side and pulled off my mask as his fingers slipped into my hair and his touch chased away the lingering tension of my argument with his mother.
Chapter 23
Asher
Antoni hadn’t said a word over the last fifteen minutes as we drove from the estate to the Dorchester. We drove in heavy silence, my thoughts consumed with Piper’s departure.
Soon—in less than two minutes to be exact—we’d be picking her up outside her hotel to bring her to the airport. She would board a plane. And then she would leave London and me behind.
“Do you have any regrets?” Antoni asked, finally breaking the silence in the car.
“No.”
“That’s good at least.”
“I suppose.”
“Don’t be so doom and gloom. Just because she’s leaving doesn’t mean it’s over. There is still time. And at least you don’t have to wait a whole year to find out what her decision is.”
He was only trying to help, but his words weren’t making me feel any better.
I stared out the window and sighed. “It’s going to be hard going back to normal after her.”
Antoni took the last turn to the hotel. It loomed up ahead of us. “Yeah, but you’ll bounce back, mate. You just have to keep yourself busy. And knowing your mother, she’ll have your schedule full.”
“I thought it might be nice to get away.”
“Where would you go?”
“No idea,” I muttered.
Antoni chuckled softly. “Mate, I know you feel rough, but running away isn’t the answer. Maybe all this shit with your mother is your chance to get everything off your chest. To tell her how you feel.”
I arched an eyebrow at him. “You know who my mother is, right?”
“Yes, and I also know she’s been trying to make sense of you for the last decade. Chances are if you were willing to talk, she’d be willing to listen.”
“Listening isn’t her strong suit.”
“She’s stubborn, yes. Just like her son.”
“Watch it,” I warned.
“Just saying.”
“Well don’t. Today is about saying goodbye to Piper. I’ll deal with things with my mother when I have to and not a moment before.”
“Sounds fair.”
The car rolled to a slow stop, and the Dorchester loomed up above us on the other side of the sidewalk. It was a gloomy morning in London, a suitable match to my mood this morning. The sky was heavy with dark gray clouds ready to unleash rain from their bellies at any moment. The dark morning made the hotel look even more majestic than usual. Warm amber light filtered out of the windows, and it looked cozy inside.
Piper came through the front doors. She was dressed casually in a pair of black leggings, an oversized sweater, a loose denim jacket, and a pair of sneakers. She looked as glamorous as ever, even in her casual flight-ready outfit.
She waved at me and Antoni, and both of us opened our doors to meet her and take her suitcases out of her hands. Antoni told me he’d take care of it, and Piper and I had a moment alone as he loaded her bags into the trunk of the Levante.
“I can’t believe the end of the month is here already.” Piper wrung her hands. Her eyes landed everywhere but on me, and she gnawed the inside of her cheek.
I took comfort in the fact that she seemed distressed at the thought of saying goodbye, too. “I know. But we had a good time together, didn’t we?”
“A wonderful time,” she whispered, finally looking up at me and sharing her beautiful smile. “I wouldn’t trade it for the world.”
“Me neither.”
Antoni called us back to the car. Piper and I walked hand in hand and got in the backseat, where we sat glued to each other’s sides. Nobody said a word. The silence was as thick and heavy as the clouds up above. What should have felt like a long drive felt like it passed us by in minutes. Before I knew it, Antoni was parking at the curb outside the International Departures terminal, and Piper and I were sliding out of the backseat.
Antoni took her luggage out of the back for her and came to put a hand on her shoulder. “Take care of yourself, Piper. I hope we get to see you again soon.”
“Thank you, Antoni. I will. And you too.”
His hand fell from her shoulder, and he looked at me. “I’ll wait in the car for you.”
I nodded, and Piper and I waited for my friend to get back in the driver’s seat. When he closed the door behind him, Piper tried to smile at me. “So, this is it.”
“This is it,” I repeated lamely.
I wanted to gather her up in my arms and never let her go. I wanted to take her away from this, to save her from the decision she had to make at the end of the year.
But I knew that was selfish. That would be saving myself, not her.
“I wish we had more time,” Piper whispered.
Good Lord, me too. I wish we had all the time.
“Me too,” I said, reaching for her and pulling her close to me so I could wrap my arms around her waist and get lost in her dark brown eyes. “But we’ll see each other again. And it won’t be long.”
She pressed her hands to my chest and smoothed the collar of my shirt under my jacket. “I know, but I feel like this month slipped through my fingers.”
She was saying all the things that were already rolling through my mind. “I feel the same way. But we made the most of it. And time flies when you’re having fun, right? It’s a good thing.”
“I suppose.”
“Piper,” I said, cupping her cheek in my hand. She looked up at me. She looked as lost and hollow as I felt. “I need you to know how special you are to me. Nothing will ever change that. Okay?”
“Asher, I—”
“I mean it. This Casanova Club is messy. I’m no fool. I know what it’s all about, and I know the position it puts you in. There are no hard feelings, okay? You do what you have to do to make the right decision in the end. I just want you to know that if you choose me, I will spend the rest of my life making you smile. I promise you.”
Piper tore her gaze from mine as tears surfaced in her eyes. “Asher, please. This doesn’t make it easier.”
“Sometimes, it can’t be easy, Piper. Sometimes, you have to say the words that are in your heart, regardless of the consequences. I’m not trying to burde
n you. I love you.”
Piper blinked.
I smiled. “I do. I have since the Elton John concert. And I’m not afraid to say it out loud. I love you, and I want what’s best for you, regardless if that’s me or not.”
Piper threw herself against my chest and hugged me tightly. I hugged her back and tried to stop my mind from wondering at the possibilities of what this desperate hug meant.
Maybe she was trying to return the sentiment and tell me she loved me too. Maybe she felt guilty, and this hug was to make up for the fact. Maybe this really was goodbye for good.
When she pulled away, she wiped at her eyes and tucked her hair behind her ears. “I have to go, or I’ll miss my flight.”
I nodded.
She wiped at the corner of her eyes again. “I’ll see you soon, Asher. Take care of yourself. And good luck with your mother. Hopefully, she eases up now that I’m leaving the country.” She laughed softly. I was happy to see a smile back on her face before she left.
“Don’t worry about me. I can handle my mother in my sleep.” The only thing I wasn’t going to be able to handle was not seeing Piper anymore. “Go.”
She nodded. Then she stretched to the tips of her toes and pressed a velvety soft kiss to my lips. Her eyes fluttered closed and so did mine, and for a moment, the world suspended and everything around us dimmed to nothingness. It was just me and the girl of my dreams on the sidewalk outside the London Heathrow Airport, and nothing else mattered.
A raindrop struck my cheek.
Piper pulled away and smoothed my collar one more time. Then she took a step back. “I’ll see you.”
“See you,” I echoed.
She turned away before I was ready and headed for the doors. I stared after her, an empty pit already forming in my gut just watching her go, and I didn’t look away until she vanished in the swarm of bodies of other travelers.
I didn’t know how long I stood there staring after her, but it was long enough for Antoni to get out of the car and stand beside me with his hands in his jacket pockets. “How long do you want to stand here for?”
“I don’t know,” I said.
He squared his shoulders.
“We can leave,” I said.
Antoni shrugged. “We can stay, too, if you like. What are you hoping for? That she’ll turn around?”
A smile tugged at the corner of my lips. “No. This isn’t a sappy rom-com. She’s not turning around. She’s not coming back.”
“So?”
I sighed. “Never mind. Come on. Let’s go. I have things to do today.”
Chapter 24
Piper
The New York City cab driver had a thick Jersey accent and wore one of those half caps from the nineteen-thirties that I couldn’t remember the name of. He had a jaw covered in gray stubble, and he smelled like cigarette smoke.
“Where to, miss?”
I gave him mine and Janie’s address.
The driver nodded. “All right. Sounds good. Seatbelt on?”
“Yes,” I said.
“Good stuff. You wouldn’t believe how many people get in my cab and don’t put their seat belts on. They’ve got a death wish, I tell you. And you’d think it would be the young folks. But no, it’s the older people like me who think they’re above wearing a seatbelt. But you know what? If we got in an accident, they’d come crashing into the back of my seat, and they’d screw my life up. Selfishness is what it is, I tell you.”
I smiled pleasantly. “Don’t worry. Safety first. I always wear a seatbelt.”
“Good girl. Where did you fly in from?”
“London.”
“England or Ontario?”
“England,” I said.
“Nice. Nice. I got a cousin out that way. Some little rinky-dink town in the middle of nowhere. Did you like it there?”
I sighed and gazed out the window as we joined the New York City traffic. Car horns blared. Rain pattered on roofs. Billboards flashed in neon colors overhead. “I did. I could have stayed a lot longer.”
“Did you travel solo?”
“No, I met someone there.”
“Ah, that’s good. A pretty girl like you has to be careful traveling alone, I tell you. Plenty of unsavory folks in all the corners of the world.”
“I had someone there who kept me safe.”
“Good to hear. Good to hear.”
My phone buzzed in my pocket. “Sorry. This is rude, but I have to take this. I haven’t spoken to my friend in a long time.”
“Go ahead,” he said, waving his hand for me to answer the call. “I’m sure you’re tired of an old man’s prattling anyway.”
I smiled and answered the call. “Hi, Janie.”
“Pipes! Hi! So good to hear your voice. Where are you?”
I told her I’d just left the airport and I was in the back of a cab, en route back to the apartment. “My feet are so swollen from the flight, I think the first thing I’m going to do is have a bath and then I’ll start laundry.”
“Sounds like a plan,” Janie said. “I’ll be home in two hours. Should I pick up some food? What are you craving?”
I chuckled. “Something very American.”
“Cheeseburgers?”
I hesitated. “No, maybe pizza?”
“Isn’t that Italian?”
“Yes, I suppose. But not the way we make it. Whatever. I want pizza. You game?”
Janie laughed on the other end of the line. “Sure. I’ll pick it up on my way home. Are you good to entertain yourself for a couple of hours? I could always see if Jackson could let me leave early.”
“I’m all right. I have a lot to do. Besides, it might be nice to have a quiet hour or so to get my bearings. Maybe I’ll have a nap, and we can stay up late together catching up.”
“Sounds glorious. I’m going to let you go. Got a call coming in. See you soon, babe!”
I grinned. “See you soon.”
The cab driver dropped me off outside my apartment with a smile and a warning not to eat too much pizza because it always gave him heartburn. I smiled and endured his final moments of unsolicited advice before closing the cab door behind me and turning to my apartment building with my suitcases in tow.
Home sweet home.
As I rode the elevator up to my floor, I realized this place didn’t really feel like home anymore. Home felt like it was stretched out across several places in the world. There were little checkpoints all over the place for me now that felt as welcoming as this place, if not more, and I found my heart longing for several of them as I made my way down the hall to our unit.
I let myself in, fumbling with the keys and my bags, and then stumbled inside, my bag sliding off my shoulder as I closed the door behind me. Then I dragged my bags down the hall to leave them near the washer and dryer and padded back to the kitchen on tired legs to grab myself a glass of water.
On the counter beside the sink was a letter with my name written on the front.
I frowned and picked it up.
The return address was in LA.
“Levi,” I breathed.
I wasted no time tearing the envelope open. In my haste, I nearly tore through the paper tucked inside, and I cursed myself for my over-eagerness. Then I pulled out the folded piece of paper and found myself staring at Levi’s writing.
He’d written me a letter.
I couldn’t wipe the grin off my face as I went to the couch and lowered myself onto it, my eyes already sliding back and forth across the page as I read.
Dear Piper,
Thank you for your gift. I read the book four times this past month, and I couldn’t help but be reminded of you every time I held it in my hands. The smell of the pages reminded me of you and how you always had a book in your hands when you were here.
Speaking of here, things have changed a lot.
As you know, I went to rehab. I’ll be one month sober on the first of October. Wild, I know. I have become addicted to club soda and mint leaves. Not very
rock and roll, I know, but what can I say?
I’m a changed man.
I miss you. I think about you every day. I think about your laugh and your smile and having you in my bed, and I dream of having you back in my arms. But if this month has taught me anything, it’s that I can be patient, and I’m stronger than I thought.
I’m waiting for you, Piper.
Yours truly,
Levi
P.S. Your song is almost finished.
I closed my eyes as tears spilled down my cheeks and held the letter to my chest. The paper crinkled softly, and I smiled as warmth spread through me. Saying goodbye to Asher had been hard. This made it easier.
I read the letter so many times in the first half-hour of being home that I committed each and every word to memory. Then while I started laundry, ran myself a bath, shaved my legs, and did a face mask, I read it over and over again in my mind until it felt like it was a part of me.
Janie came home to find me on the sofa in the living room, all cozy in my favorite fleece pajamas. They were powder pink with little bowties all over them, and when I’d put them in my bag to bring to London, Janie shook her head in disbelief and told me there was absolutely no way I could bring something so sexually unappealing with me to see Asher.
I’d left them behind, but now I was going to get my fill of them before jet setting off to see the next bachelor in a couple of days.
I sprang up from my seat to greet Janie with a hug. She barely had time to set down her purse and pizza boxes before I slammed into her, and we both lost ourselves to the joy of being reunited. Shortly after, we were both in our jammies on the sofa with a vanilla candle burning while we ate pizza and drank cheap wine.
“All in all, it was a really great month,” I said after filling Janie in on everything that had happened over the course of September.
“Well, except for his mother, right? What a piece of work.”
“Yeah, she wasn’t the most pleasant person. But she comes from a different world. I think she has good intentions. She’s just—I don’t know—kind of clueless when it comes to her son and what he wants. Which is a shame.”