In wickedly sexy, straightforward terms, he spilled his plan in her ear. When she thoroughly reddened, he asked, “Think it’ll work?”
She showed her approval with another kiss.
EVEN THOUGH HE was exhausted from the second wild night he’d shared with Rose, Colby still couldn’t sleep. Around six a.m., he quit trying in favor of making his future wife a big breakfast.
Funny, but when he’d first gotten home from the cabin, he’d taken a quick shower then headed back out, not wanting to be alone. But now that he had Rose and his future son with him, the place felt like home again, and he never wanted to leave.
Figuring Rose would be extra hungry, he whipped up a batch of waffles and link sausages, accompanied by the cantaloupe Henry had left on his doorstep, along with a note explaining it had come from his garden.
Once he’d assembled two plates on a tray, wishing he had a daisy or something to make it more romantic, Colby grinned. Yep, to be thinking of daisies at this hour made it official.
He had to be in love.
Whistling his way through the sun-flooded house, he took the stairs two at a time, anticipating the view at the top. He wasn’t disappointed to find his very own sleeping beauty still snoring away, gorgeous bare legs tangled in the sheets.
Setting the tray on the nightstand on his side of the bed, he slid back under the covers beside her, taking a moment to drink her in. Lord, she was beautiful, with her long hair fanning her pillow and her complexion golden from all their time spent up at the cabin in the sun.
She rolled over, baring her full left breast.
Luckily, when he woke her by suckling, she didn’t object to him having a little more fun.
AN HOUR LATER, while Colby was in the kitchen microwaving the waffles and sausage, Rose lounged in his great big whirlpool tub, munching on sweet, cubed cantaloupe.
What an incredible night—and morning. She smiled while gazing out the wall of windows overlooking the rugged gorge. The first time she’d seen it, she’d thought it intimidating, but now she saw it as a challenge. Just like she’d conquered her fear of being with this intoxicating man, one day she might conquer Alaska.
One day.
Her latest bite of cantaloupe turned sour in her mouth, making it hard to swallow.
Her heart lurched, and she feared she might be choking.
Oh—she was choking all right.
Not on the fruit Colby had so lovingly prepared, but on her own stupid fears. One day, meaning she still wasn’t quite ready to commit. One day, maybe, but certainly not today. That would be all right. Colby was an understanding guy. She’d go back to Chicago, have their son, and just as soon as he had free time, he could fly down for a visit.
For that matter, once Nick was big enough to travel, the two of them could fly up for visits, and then—
“Here you go.”
She lurched, splashing water onto the fluffy white rug in front of the tub.
“Sorry.” He set the food tray on the white tile ledge. “Didn’t mean to sneak up on you.”
“I know,” she said, swallowing back tears. As originally planned, her plane left Anchorage that evening, so she still had plenty of time before she’d have to return to the lodge to pack. In some ways, it was hard to believe a week had passed. In others, her week had seemed to last a year. She literally couldn’t remember her life before reuniting with Colby. But sadly, reality was barreling toward her. Until then, she wanted to enjoy the precious hours they had left.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, taking his plate, then sitting on the ledge beside her. “You seem tense.”
“Let’s not talk about it now. I just want to enjoy breakfast. It smells wonderful. Your mom and Nugget did a great job teaching you how to cook.”
“Thanks, but back to the subject—what’s up? Are you sick? Did we overdo it last night and hurt the baby?”
“No.” She curved her hand around his forearm, skimming his sun-kissed smattering of hair. “I’ve never felt better.”
“Then what’s with your frown?” He set his untouched plate on the tray.
“You can probably guess.” She looked down. “Think about it. My flight leaves tonight.”
“Y-your what?”
“My flight. I have to get home. I have work. Plus, there are still plans to finalize for the birth and arranging for the nanny to start full-time after my maternity leave. I have bunches more stuff to buy for the nursery. Oh—and I thought I’d pick up one of those—what?”
His expression had turned darker than the storm clouds they’d watched roll in across his cabin’s lake.
Standing, he paced. “Please tell me I didn’t just hear you say you’re still going to have this baby in Chicago.”
“Of course, I am. You didn’t think I could have it here, did you?”
A muscle ticked in his jaw. “If you’re worried about not having a doctor, we have a great one. Remember that TV show where the town paid for the doctor’s med school if he’d agree to spend a chunk of time practicing there? We did the same thing. Doc Meadows is the best. You’d like her. I’ll get you her number and you can make an appointment.” On his feet, arms crossed, gaze lost in the view, he said. “If you don’t want to get married, that’s cool. Just please—don’t go.”
Rose didn’t bother hiding the tears streaming down her cheeks. Getting out of the tub proved a nightmare, and as usual, he was there for her. What was wrong with her that she couldn’t be there for him?
While she stood naked in every possible way, he wrapped her in a thick white towel. Why did he have to be so kind? Why did his every word and action have to make it that much harder to go? “I’m so sorry. About everything.”
“You’re sorry?” He choked back a bitter laugh.
“I can’t stay. I can’t marry you.”
When he turned away from her, she hugged the towel close, wishing it was him.
“I’m not saying I might not change my mind,” she said. “I just need more time to study marriage dynamics. My favorite area of study has been group dynamics under extreme conditions. But I’ll for sure take an extra look at marriage. You know, to see just how many of them work. I’ve looked into many dysfunctional relationships, but I’ll check into the positive sides as well.”
“So that’s all the thought of marrying me is to you? Just one more case study?”
“Think of the baby, Colby. Do we really want to subject him to us breaking up, if in a couple of years—maybe even months—from now, we decide our relationship isn’t going to work?”
“Fine, Rose. I give up.” He left the room, but then after reaching the hall, turned back. “I thought last night—hell, this whole week—was special. But then what do I know, right?” He laughed. “I’m just some local yokel you picked up on one of your field studies. As for our son, I’m sure you’ll see him as a convenient little study package, too.”
“Colby, I—”
“Don’t,” he said, the cords in his neck tight. “Don’t you dare spout some highbrow academic explanation for your cowardly behavior. And that’s just what you are, Rose Foster, a great big coward too damned afraid to start off on what could’ve been the best trip of your—no, both of our—lives. I get that what you went through with your dad was a nightmare no child should have ever had to face, but why are you letting that ancient history now dictate the entire course of your life? So what if your mom collects men like shoes or purses? She’s not you.”
“Please, Colby…” She ran to him, fisting his T-shirt in her hands. “Please try to understand. A long-distance relationship won’t be so bad. We can work this out over Skype.”
Jaw hard, gaze cold, he said, “The only thing left to work out is our custody agreement. Get dressed, and I’ll take you as far as the lodge. After that… See you in court.”
THE RIDE FROM Colby’s once-enchanted home to the lodge took an eternity. Packing in front of a grim-faced Nugget had been another eternity. But now that she was finally on board the charter flight she’d arrang
ed to take her to Anchorage, Rose knew she was doing the right thing.
The mere fact that it’d been so rough saying goodbye to all these people told her staying would have been unhealthy. It couldn’t be good to form such immediate attachments—and she had formed attachments to every new friend who’d appeared at the lodge to say goodbye.
Henry, still wearing his tired old fedora, hugging her so tight it hurt, had tucked a bag of his sweet-smelling pipe tobacco in her pocket—just in case after the baby was born she wanted to take up smoking. Stanley brought her a bouquet of forget-me-nots that served as a reminder of the flower-dotted boulder beside Colby’s dock. Nugget sent her on her journey with a still-warm plate of foil-wrapped peanut butter cookies and a thermos filled with nice, cold milk.
Practically the only one in town who hadn’t shown up to say goodbye was Colby. Or any of his friends.
Could she blame them?
“You all buckled in back there?” the pilot asked. This was far different from the time she’d flown with Colby. The plane was bigger, and she sat in a seat two behind and to the right of the middle-aged, balding pilot, whose matter-of-fact concern reminded her of carpooling with one of her friends’ fathers. Nothing about him was remotely similar to Colby, and as her new pilot rambled through the standard commercial flight safety pitch, Rose’s throat ached from missing the man she loved.
Colby’s last words echoed through her throbbing head. Why are you letting that ancient history now dictate the entire course of your life? So what if your mom collects men like shoes or purses? She’s not you.
The pilot glanced over his shoulder. “You okay?”
“Fine,” she lied, silent tears streaming down her cheeks as he revved the plane’s engine. She’d long since taken Colby’s Santa hat from her purse. Gripping it like a lifeline, she was still crying as the plane’s floats clacked over Kodiak Lake’s choppy water.
You a virgin?
Crying, grinning, peering out over the rapidly fading view, she touched her fingers to the small oval window.
Nope. She was officially no longer even an almost-virgin. But since she knew no man would ever come close to giving her what she’d cherished with Colby, she also knew she’d probably never make love with anyone else.
“Want anything to eat or drink?” the pilot asked over the engine’s dull hum. “I’ve got soda and pretzels in a cooler behind the back seat.”
“No, thank you.” I’m never eating again.
“Sorry it took me so long to get over here. Had to repair a busted fuel line. Damnedest thing. We’ve had a mouse problem back at the hangar. Looks like one of the little buggers must’ve chewed right through it.”
“That’s okay,” Rose said, knowing full well nothing would ever be okay again. What had she done?
Oh, she knew from the crushing pain in her chest that she’d made the right decision in leaving. It was coming here in the first place that was now causing her doubts.
Just like her lawyer had said, she should’ve informed Colby via mail that he was going to be a parent. It would’ve been clean, efficient. No fuss, no muss.
Though that may have been true, even with a few squabbles, this week had given her a glimpse of familial heaven—a place she’d never even dreamed existed. She wouldn’t trade her time with Colby for anything.
Wiping away still more tears, she straightened in her seat.
This was crazy. For the sake of Baby Nick, she had to pull herself together.
Nick. Ugh, even thinking her baby’s new name brought on a surge of grief over having to say goodbye to his father.
If leaving was so right, how come it was turning out to be so hard?
Up in front, she noticed a lot of tapping on the controls. Remembering what’d happened after Colby had done the same thing, she asked, “Is everything all right?”
“Yep.” He frantically flipped a few more switches before the engine sputtered and died.
Pale pink fluid streamed across Rose’s window.
Fuel?
“Mayday! Mayday!” the pilot shouted into the radio.
Rose, eyes wild, hugged her belly, bracing her feet.
No, no, no.
This couldn’t be happening again!
What were the odds of a person surviving two plane crashes?
Nil.
Absolutely nil.
Ironically, the same odds of ever finding a more perfect husband for herself or a more perfect father for her baby than the very man she was trying to escape.
Dear God, what had she done? She never should’ve left. She never should’ve—
“Brace yourself! We’re going down!”
Chapter Fifteen
“HEY, MAN, HOW are you doing?”
Colby glanced up from the beer he’d been nursing at the lodge’s bar to see his old pal Brody standing there wearing a sympathetic look. “News travels fast, huh?”
“What do you mean?”
“Oh, come on,” he said. “The news about me being dumped by Rose. Guess you and I are destined to be bachelors forever, huh?” He raised his long-neck beer. “Let’s toast—to bachelorhood.”
Brody took the beer, and slid it down the bar. “Sorry about your girl, but we just got an emergency call. You sober enough to fly?”
Colby rubbed his eyes, forcing himself instantly alert. “Yeah. I’ve just had half of this one.”
“Cool. Let’s rock and roll.”
After standing, then leaving a few bills on the bar, Colby asked, “Who’s in trouble? Lost hiker?”
On their way out of the bar’s gloom and into the lodge lobby’s obnoxiously bright light, Brody shook his head. “Downed plane.”
“YOU DID A great j-job landing,” Rose said, unable to stop her teeth from chattering despite warm sun and two blankets. Why hadn’t she worn a nice practical jogging suit and sneakers instead of this stupid black linen dress, black leather pumps and black panty hose now sporting a run?
“Relax.” The pilot, seated beside her on a flat-topped boulder on the lake’s shore, patted her back. “We’re fine. Help is already on the way. On a clear day like this, shouldn’t be but twenty or thirty minutes till we get another ride.”
“You’re sure?”
“Absolutely.” He gave her one more fatherly pat.
After the repaired fuel line had apparently broken again, he’d landed the plane smoothly on a small lake that reminded Rose of the one facing Colby’s cabin, only without the snowcapped mountain. Pretty as you please, the plane had drifted to shore, and the pilot had jumped out, towing it the rest of the way in before helping her off. She hadn’t even gotten her feet wet.
Then why was she so cold?
Same old song.
Fear.
Only now, it was fear that Colby wouldn’t take her back. Although the so-called crash landing had turned out to be no big deal, those moments of wondering whether she’d live or die had seemed like hours. Through it all, the one topic on her mind was regret. She deeply regretted not handling things differently with the man she now knew she couldn’t live without.
Yes, she wanted a sweet little wedding to be held in the chapel with its scandalous red carpet and attended by all her new friends. Yes—she wanted a three-tiered cake and a forget-me-not bouquet, and a wedding dress hand sewn from Kodiak Lodge T-shirts if only it bound her to Colby forever.
She’d been a fool. Hiding behind fear.
Ironic how it was fear that’d finally shaken her free from her doubts about marriage. On the verge of dying, she finally realized that in loving Colby, she wasn’t losing her heart, but gaining her soul.
Faced with death, she’d found life. Faith.
Faith that whether she’d lived or died, she’d loved and been loved. But just the knowing wasn’t enough. Now that she was very much alive, she wanted the joy of living.
From the east came the buzz of one plane, then two.
“We’re saved!” she said, tossing off her blanket to crush her pilot in a hug.
>
He cast her a told you so look before she awkwardly climbed down from the rock, teetering up and down the shore on her stupid heels, waving her arms.
Wincing from the sun’s glare on the broad expanse of water, Rose put her hands to her forehead, heart pounding at the view. There were two planes—the first she recognized as the one Colby’s friend Brody had flown the night of the blizzard. The other belonged to none other than the man she hoped would be her husband within a matter of days—hours if they could find a willing preacher. She didn’t need a fancy cake, dress or flowers. All she needed was him.
As if performing a precision air show, the approaching pilots landed their planes in tandem before smoothly gliding the rest of the way across the lake. The closer they came, the more she smelled exhaust from their engines mixing with the rich scents of the fishy-smelling water and pungent spruce.
Though her heart still raced, her spirits soared.
Those scents were Colby’s scents, and the first thing she planned to do when she saw him was give him a fiercely apologetic hug.
With the engines off, all fell quiet on the lake, save for the breeze shushing through the trees and small, lapping waves rolling ashore and against the planes’ aluminum floats.
Brody stepped out onto his plane’s float. “Some excitement, eh, Vic?” he shouted to her pilot. She’d been so terrified thinking she’d never see Colby again she hadn’t even asked the man’s name.
Colby’s friend Tanner also emerged from Brody’s plane.
“Yep,” Vic said. “It was touch and go there for a few minutes, but the old girl did me good.”
“I’ll say.” Brody tied his plane to a fallen tree, then crunched along the pebbled shore to help Vic inspect his engine.
He hadn’t even looked at her.
Hadn’t even said hi.
What’d you expect? It’s probably no big secret that you ran off with his best friend’s son!
Chest tight, throat aching from a fresh round of approaching tears, Rose pressed her hands to her baby, then set off across the shore to Colby’s plane.
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