Since Gabe had died, he’d spent a lot of rough nights here at HQ. He’d made countless excuses to himself as to why that was, but now he knew the truth. He didn’t want to go home to his big empty apartment. He wasn’t one of those guys who always needed to have someone in his bed, but he’d be fooling no one if he said he didn’t like having a certain someone in his bed. It was his own fault. He’d been spending too much time with Dex, either sleeping in Dex’s bed or having Dex in his own, but there was something about the guy that made it hard for Sloane to stay away. The last few days had been fucking miserable.
Sloane rolled onto his side with a huff. God, look at him, sulking like some teenager infected with puppy love. So he liked having Dex around. So what? Who the hell didn’t like having Dex around? Ash of course, but well, it was Ash. Eight months, and his team had accepted Dex as one of their own, as if he’d always been there. Rosa fussed over him as much as she did Cael, acting like a mother hen despite being a couple of years older than Dex. Letty teased and roughhoused with him as if they were siblings, jumping on him, hugging him, asking him for advice on whatever hot guy she had her eye on, while Calvin and Hobbs followed Dex around like a couple of groupies.
Dex walked around with a smile on his face, giving his undivided attention to whoever approached him, going out of his way to help however he could. He wasn’t arrogant or cocky, but playful. At times, he was shy, hiding behind his humor or that dopey grin of his. He was weird, no doubt about it, what with his bizarre fixation on music released before 1989, his unhealthy obsession with cheese snacks, and his inability to shut up at times, but somehow, that made him more attractive in Sloane’s eyes.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Sloane groaned at himself, rubbing his hands over his face. He should have been sleeping, instead he was thinking about how great Dex was. If the guy was so goddamn great, what the hell was Sloane doing alone? He kept telling himself he wasn’t ready to label whatever he had with Dex, especially since it was strictly between them, so what was the point, but what else was Dex if not his boyfriend? They weren’t sleeping around. Hell, the thought of Dex being fucked by someone else made him want to punch something.
Dex was a good guy, faithful, smart, funny, sexy, and he was crazy about Sloane. What more could Sloane want? He should be counting his lucky stars that a guy like Dex wanted anything to do with his miserable ass, and what was he doing? Disciplining him, and beating the shit out of him for saving a teammate’s life. Cael’s words kept coming back to him. The kid had really called him out on his behavior. And he was right. Sloane was being a complete chickenshit.
He was such an asshole. If he wasn’t with Dex, he had no one to blame but himself. No matter how many times he told himself Dex had disobeyed orders, deep down, he knew that wasn’t it. Had anyone else on the team done what Dex did, Sloane would have been royally pissed off at first, but then he would have been proud of them. He sure as hell wouldn’t have taken disciplinary measures.
It had been easy to let his anger get out of hand and turn into something else. Was he taking it out on Dex because he was too scared of where things were heading? This was their first real fight. Sure, they’d argued plenty of times before, but it never resulted in this… this horrible feeling in his chest. He sat up and shifted to the edge of the bed with a frown. Getting up, he pulled back the covers, determined to get some sleep, when he heard faint music. It was coming from the room next door.
The rooms were heavily insulated so occupants could go about their business without disturbing their fellow agents. He doubted his Human teammates could hear the tune, and if Sloane’s room hadn’t been silent, he wouldn’t have either. Curious, he pressed his ear to the wall, his heart lurching when he heard the familiar power ballad. He closed his eyes as he listened to the faint lyrics of Journey’s “Faithfully.”
Straightening, he left his room, closing the door behind him, and with a deep breath, he knocked on the door next to his. He ran his fingers through his hair in a feeble attempt to comb it back then told himself to stop being such an ass. The door opened, and a tired, disheveled-looking Dex sporting a distressed Back to the Future T-shirt and gray sweats stood on the other side.
“Hi. I heard the music.”
“Oh.” Dex walked over to the desk and tapped his tablet, turning it down. “Sorry.”
“No, I didn’t mean it was bothering me. When I heard it, I figured it was you.”
Dex nodded.
“Can I come in?”
“You’re the Team Leader. You can do what you want.” Dex took a seat on the edge of his bed, his gaze going to his bare feet.
“I didn’t come here to fight,” Sloane said with a sigh, closing the door behind him and locking it. He joined Dex on the edge of the bed.
Again, Dex nodded, but didn’t say anything. Sloane watched him worry his bottom lip, close his eyes, and release a heavy sigh. “You have a job to do, I get it. I’ve been a THIRDS agent a few months. You’ve been one for years. Who the hell am I to question your judgment?”
“I deleted the reprimand.”
Dex stared at him. “Why?”
“Because it wasn’t right. Hell, even Ash was pissed off at me for it.”
“Ash?” Dex’s expression would have made Sloane laugh if he wasn’t feeling so shitty about what he’d done, not to mention how far he’d let it go. What kind of a partner was he?
“Yeah, he said if it had been anyone else on the team, I wouldn’t have done it, and he’s right. What you did was brave, kinda stupid too, but brave.”
“So why did you do it?”
“I’ve been asking myself the same question since the day of the bombing. I think a part of me wondered if you thought the rules didn’t apply to you because we’re sleeping together.” He wanted to tell Dex about the other part, the part that was scared shitless of a relationship.
“I’d never take advantage like that. I disobeyed the order because it wasn’t right. Not to me.”
“Dex, I understand that, I do, but sometimes we have to make decisions we don’t want to make or that don’t seem to make sense. Our objective and how we feel about it won’t always add up. The team is our family, and we do what we have to in order to protect it, but there are priorities. That’s the job.” It hurt to say it, but he had to, because it was the truth. “I have to do everything in my power to preserve civilian life, even if it means losing one of my own. Even if it means… losing you.”
“Still, it doesn’t make it any easier when it’s staring you in the face,” Dex murmured, his gaze everywhere else but on Sloane.
“No.”
“I didn’t mean to make your job harder than it is.”
Sloane shook his head. “This is on me. You said the structure was sound, I should have trusted you. That’s part of my job too.” He needed to make some changes, to take more chances. Now was as good a time as any to start. “I did learn something else from all this.”
“Oh?” Dex did look at him then.
Sloane was pouting, but he couldn’t help it. Thinking back to the last few days and how it had felt without Dex. It sucked. “Yeah, I don’t like how it feels.”
“How what feels?”
“Fighting like this.”
Dex looked surprised by his admission. “So… what you’re saying is you like having me around?”
“You know I do.” He studied Dex’s guarded expression. The guy was crap at trying to hide his feelings. “Don’t you?”
Dex gave him a warm smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Yeah.”
“Cael’s right. You’re a shitty liar.” Sloane shifted closer to him and slipped an arm around him, tentatively pulling him closer, relieved when Dex went along with it. “It’s okay. You’re right. I could do a better job of showing you. It’s not just about the sex. I apologize if I gave you that impression.”
“Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining about the sex,” Dex said, holding back a smile.
“Me neither.�
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Dex smiled, and this time it reached his sparkling-blue eyes. He gave Sloane’s shoulder a playful bump, his voice teasing. “Did you miss me?”
God, the guy had no idea. “I couldn’t sleep.” He frowned knowing he probably looked and sounded pathetic. “And yeah, I did miss you.”
“You’ve ruined Journey for me, you know that? Anytime I hear it, all I can see is you.”
Sloane was taken aback. He knew exactly what that meant for Dex. He cupped Dex’s cheek, using his thumb to stroke the stubble growing in. Now that he looked closer, he could see the bags under Dex’s eyes, and he had a feeling it wasn’t just from the case. It looked like Sloane wasn’t the only one who’d had trouble sleeping since the day of the bombing. He leaned in hesitantly, allowing Dex time to pull away, or tell him to get the hell out if he wanted. Instead, Dex leaned into him so their lips pressed together.
Dex’s scent reminded Sloane how crazy Dex made him feel. He slipped his hand around the back of Dex’s neck, pulling him harder against him, their kiss quickly turning heated. He tried to slow down—for fuck’s sake, it had been a few days—but he couldn’t. Dex’s scent, his taste, the feel of his body pressed against Sloane’s was hitting all the right buttons, and Sloane wanted more. He pulled off Dex’s shirt. “How about a little Journey?”
“You’re asking for Journey?” Dex breathed, his fingers digging into Sloane’s arms. “Wow, you really did miss my sexing you up.”
“You have no idea,” Sloane replied with a chuckle, his eyes glued to Dex as he tapped the tablet and raised the volume. When Dex turned to him, his smile stole Sloane’s breath away.
“I think maybe I do.”
Their bodies crashed together in a frenzy of desperate kisses, painful rutting, and scorching touches. By the way they assaulted each other’s lips, it was as if they’d been apart for years rather than days. Sloane lay over Dex, his fingers curled around fistfuls of Dex’s hair, his mouth hungrily plundering, reveling in the taste of his lover. Beneath him, Dex writhed and arched his back, gasping for air after Sloane released his mouth. Dex’s fingers dug into Sloane’s ass, their cocks painfully hard.
“Sloane, I need you to fuck me. Please.”
“Supplies?”
Dex motioned to his backpack on the desk’s chair, and Sloane reached out, snatching one of the straps and yanking it over. He sat back on his heels, rummaged through one of the zipper pockets, pulling out a condom and a small packet of lube. Beneath him, Dex broke speed records undressing. He threw his clothes to the floor, and Sloane’s clothes soon joined them, along with Dex’s backpack.
Dex lay on his back, running his hand up Sloane’s inner thigh, making him shiver. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for being stupid. We could have been doing this days ago.”
Sloane shook his head and leaned in to kiss Dex. “No. I was the one being stupid and stubborn.” God, how he’d missed this. The feel of Dex’s skin, the taste of him, his scent mixed in with the smell of his shampoo and shower gel, his firm body beneath Sloane’s touch. Sloane doubted he would last long, but he was practically vibrating with anticipation. He quickly lubed himself up, as well as his fingers before prepping Dex, watching enthralled as Dex threw his head back with a low groan, sweat beading his brow and his tongue poking out to lick his bottom lip. “Fuck, you’re beautiful.”
Dex’s eyes met his, a stunning smile coming onto his face, and his cheeks flushed. The affection in his eyes squeezed Sloane’s heart, and he brought their lips together again, doing his best to show Dex how he made Sloane feel through his kiss, even if he had trouble finding the words to go with it. He lined himself up with one hand and lifted Dex’s leg with the other before he tenderly pushed himself inside. His lover inhaled sharply and Sloane paused, allowing Dex to adjust around him. A heartbeat later, Dex nodded, and Sloane pushed through until he was buried deep, the tight heat both excruciating and exhilarating.
Sloane rocked against Dex, his muscles pulled and tensed as he moved, drawing out, and then pushing in. He kept a steady pace, his eyes never leaving Dex’s as he moved. Dex reached down between them to stroke his cock, and Sloane bucked his hips at the sight, making Dex gasp. With a wicked grin, Sloane pulled out, grabbed a pillow from beside Dex’s head and tapped Dex’s flank, receiving a naughty smile when Sloane slipped the pillow underneath Dex’s lower back.
“Hold on tight?” Dex asked with a knowing grin.
“Hold on tight,” Sloane growled playfully. He lined his cock up against Dex’s hole once again, thrusting inside him, and Dex clamped a hand over his mouth to stifle his cry, his other hand thrown up against the headboard. Sloane snapped his hips, thrusting hard inside Dex. He held Dex’s legs up against him, his arms around them as he fucked him, his breath ragged, and his pulse soaring.
“Oh God,” Dex moaned, arching his back. He took himself in hand, jerking himself off as Sloane snapped his hips and rotated them, hitting Dex’s prostate. Dex threw a hand out to his side, gripping a fistful of the sheets as the bed moved beneath them. Sloane closed his eyes for a moment, the feel of fucking Dex incredible. His abdomen tightened, and he let out a low warning growl. Dex shook his head. “In my mouth. I want to taste you.”
The thought almost had Sloane coming. He swiftly pulled out, rolled off the condom, and cursed under his breath when Dex got on his hands and knees in front of him, that gorgeous mouth swallowing Sloane’s cock to the root, sucking, licking, moaning with need.
“Oh God, Dex.” He put his hands to Dex’s head, thrusting his hips, a shiver going up his spine as Dex allowed him to fuck his mouth. “I’m gonna come.”
Dex hummed, and Sloane gritted his teeth to keep himself from crying out as he shot into Dex’s hot mouth, feeling Dex’s throat swallowing around him. He doubled over, his arms wrapped around Dex’s head as he let himself go completely, his body trembling. When Dex pulled off, Sloane pushed him onto his back to return the favor, loving the taste of Dex as he sucked his beautiful cock. He bobbed his head, licking and circling the head with his tongue, pressing the tip into Dex’s slit, enjoying the way Dex bucked his hips beneath him. He continued to suck Dex off, sliding his free hand up Dex’s chest to tweak one pebbled nipple.
“Sloane,” Dex warned, arching his back. Just as he finished saying Sloane’s name, Dex came, his muscles stiffening under Sloane’s touch. Around them, there was only the music coming from Dex’s tablet, and for a moment, everything was right with the world. He could close his eyes and pretend they were in Dex’s house, the last week having never happened.
Sloane laid his head on Dex’s flat stomach, smiling to himself as Dex stroked his hair, his breath steadying. “Can you stay?”
“Yes.”
As he lay there, enjoying Dex’s ministrations, feeling wanted, needed, and cared for, Sloane had a desperate urge to say “yes” to anything Dex wanted. But he knew he couldn’t, not while his past loomed over him, threatening to shatter everything. Now, more than ever, he wanted this. He wanted to experience what it would be like to truly be with Dex. What the hell was he supposed to do?
THE NEXT morning, Dex wasn’t surprised when he found his bed empty. Sloane’s side was cold, meaning he’d left some time ago. He hoped it was just his partner being cautious, but his heart was telling him he was kidding himself. With a sigh, Dex sat up and ran a hand through his hair. Coffee. Coffee would help his brain function. He stood and switched on the personal one-cup coffee maker the THIRDS equipped all the rooms with. He thanked his lucky stars he worked for an organization that appreciated java as much as he did.
While his coffee brewed, he dressed in his uniform, dragging his thigh rig off the desk and tossing it onto the bed. To his coffee he added sugar and milk from the small fridge tucked underneath the desk and sat on the edge of his bed to think as he sipped the heavenly nectar, hoping it might make him feel remotely not like crap. For a moment, he’d actually thought everything might go back to normal. Idiot. He might be a shitty liar, but he’d perfected
the art of playing dumb. Sloane was getting scared. The reprimand, the fight, the fear at the mere mention of the word “boyfriend.” Although Dex believed Sloane when he said there was more between them than sex, that didn’t mean Sloane was ready to turn that something more into a relationship, and part of him wondered if the guy ever would be.
Securing his thigh rig to his belt and the straps around his leg, he left his room to head for the bullpen. Ash was standing outside his office chatting to Cael. “Hey. Have you seen Sloane?” Dex asked him, after giving his brother a welcome back pat on his ass.
“No. You look like shit.”
“I had a feeling I might, considering I feel like shit,” Dex muttered. “Thanks for confirming it, though.”
Ash held his arms out, his bottom lip jutted out. “Do you need a cuddle?”
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