“Abby’s fine now, she’s with her dad.”
“That just leaves you, then.”
“I’m fine, too.” Of course, I wasn’t, that fear I thought I had left behind was surfacing again.
“And you’re a good liar.”
I was just about to reply when we turned into Stretford Police Station. “I thought we were going to Chester House?” I said with surprise.
“No, I’m based there but work out of here occasionally, too.”
Ryan used a swipe card to open the barrier and drove into the back of the building to park.
“You’re not going to take me through custody are you?” I asked my heart dropping.
I saw the surprise in his eyes before he quickly masked it. “No, we’ll go through the front door because you’re not under arrest. We’re just going to have an informal chat and look at some photos.”
“A chat?” I said to his back as he climbed out of the car. This was going to be tougher than I thought.
He escorted me to the front of the building saying, “Just a little chat, nothing to be worried about.”
But I was.
We went up the steps and through to the enquiry desk. There were a couple of people sitting waiting. The guy behind the desk buzzed Ryan in. I followed him up some stairs and down a long corridor. My nerves were jangling. This time, I did take some deep breaths. Then I started feeling lightheaded.
Ryan opened a door to a room on the left and told me to take a seat. It had bars on the windows. At the side of the room was a desk with chairs on either side. My heart pounded, and I could hardly breathe. The smell was just the same, and it was all too familiar.
In another room, in another station, I had answered questions for hours. I had felt ill and scared, wishing with all my heart I could just die and everybody would forget about me.
“Are you all right?” Ryan asked with a look of concern. “Do you want some water?”
I nodded. My mouth was dry. “It’s a bit warm. Can we have the window open?” My voice came out in a whisper as the back of my throat was closing up.
He put his hands through the bars and unlatched the top window.
“Don’t think about jumping, unless you are a contortionist,” he said, with a grin.
I managed a smile.
“I’ll be back in a minute,” he said.
The walls of the room were magnolia, just like every other official room I had been in. Did they think it was calming? My stomach was in knots, and I could feel my cheeks burning. I was going to have a panic attack any minute. I knew the signs. At least now I knew I could control them.
When he came back, I was standing by the window, my back to the wall taking deep inhalations and blowing slowly out as I took back control.
“Come and sit down Sarah,” he said. His face was serious. He put a manila file on the table. “Drink your water.”
It was obviously from a cooler. I clasped the cold plastic beaker in my hand and drank it all in one go.
“Do you want another?”
I nodded.
He returned a moment later and set it down in front of me. I took a little sip and left it on the table.
“Are you ready?” He was staring at me intently. I didn’t like it. I didn’t like having all the focus on me.
He placed a closed book in front of me and said, “I want you to look carefully at these photographs. Take your time and look at each one individually—”
“I won’t recognise anyone,” I interrupted.
“Just listen to what I have to say. If you do recognise anyone, just indicate him to me, okay? There is no rush. Take as long as you need. Do you understand?”
I sighed, “Yes, Inspector.”
I opened it glanced over the photographs and turned to the next page. I didn’t want to recognise anyone I knew.
“Sweeping your eyes across the page is not looking properly.”
I glared at him. “What are you, my mother?”
“Just do as you’re told, Sarah.”
That infuriated me. What is it about men? I will not be like Kelly! I glared again at him and then turned away folding my arms in front of me. “I don’t have to do anything.”
He seemed to change tact then. “Sarah.” I wish he wouldn’t keep saying my name in that way. Rolling the R was downright annoying to a southerner who was already pissed. “Can we focus here? We have to catch this man, if we don’t, he could do something serious.”
“Like stabbing someone else,” I said, petulantly.
“Like killing someone. Stop thinking of yourself and think of Abby.”
There wasn’t an answer to that. God! The nerve of the man. “Will you shut up about Abby. For God’s sake, I am not a child who needs gentle persuading.”
I made a point of looking longer at the first page, “Nope.” I turned it over, waited a moment and then said, “Nope.” I continued that four times until I reached the end of the book. “Satisfied?”
“Not really. You’re being childish.”
“F...” I almost said it, I almost snapped, but Sarah doesn’t swear, she doesn’t get angry, and she is in complete control of herself. I picked up the water again and took several sips and tried to calm down.
“Okay,” I said finally. I could do this. “I didn’t see the man and none of the people in these photos are familiar unless they have been on television. I would recognise them then.”
“Do you?”
“No. May I go now?”
“Not just yet, one other thing.” He picked up the album and moved it to the side of the table. He then opened the manila folder in front of him and pulled out a plastic bag and laid it in front of me. It had dark red patches on it, but it wasn’t the blood that sent a chill down my spine. “Do you know what that means?”
It was the envelope that contained the razor blades that had sliced Abby’s fingers. On the front, it said, O, full stop, and K, full stop. Only one person called me K. Blood pounded in my ears. Ryan turned the bag over and the note simply said, got ya!
I swallowed and felt my face burn. It was too much now, and I stood up. “This means nothing to me and as I am not under arrest, I want to go.”
“But you haven’t answered my questions.”
“The answer is, I don’t know. I don’t know why you think I do. I’m tired, I’m hot, and I want to go home. Will you take me, or shall I walk?”
He was angry with me, but that couldn’t be helped. We walked out of the police station to the car in silence.
I wished I could tell him that my name was Kelly Burns.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Sarah
I knew he was annoyed, but so what? I had to protect what I had in the only way I knew how.
If I thought there was even a spark between us, there certainly wasn’t anymore. He opened the passenger door, I got in and he slammed it shut. Getting into his side, he slammed that as well.
I’d had my fair share of angry men. I had sat in cars knowing that I would get a bollocking when we arrived home. I knew that Ryan wouldn’t box my ears, but I was going to hear the wrath of his tongue.
I slunk down in my seat and stared outside.
“You are probably the most stubborn, uncooperative woman I have ever met,” he said as we pulled up outside my flat.
“Oh, I doubt that,” I mumbled.
“I’ll come to the door with you.”
“Don’t bother. I’ll be fine.”
“Fine,” he said back as I got out and banged the door shut.
As I walked up to the front door, my hand in my pocket for my keys, I heard him getting out of the car. “Damn it, Sarah!”
Why did he always use my name like that?
“Damn it nothing,” I said, forcing myself to be Civil Sarah and not Cocky Kelly. “I really can’t help you, Inspector. I said this would be a waste of time.”
“It wasn’t.”
“Well, you police are all the same.”
The minute it was out
of my mouth I wanted to pull it back. The silence hung between us for a moment.
“Really?” His eyes locked onto mine. I was an idiot. I turned away unable to look at him and fumbled with the keys. “The Superintendent is watching my every move on this, and he wants results. I have to get this man because nobody messes with his daughter, and of course, he thinks it is about his daughter. I think it’s all about you. Are you known to us?”
“No,” I said because Sarah wasn’t.
His eyes narrowed, “There’s something you’re not telling me, isn’t there?”
“Look, Abby’s safe with her family. Why don’t you go and investigate her?” I said, putting the wrong key in the lock.
“Then who keeps you safe, Sarah? Where are your family and friends?”
“It’s none of your business, is it?” I said, dropping the keys on the floor again. “I’m all right.” I could feel my face burning and tears threatening. Why couldn’t he just leave it? What was wrong with this man?
He picked them up, and I held out my palm silently.
“I wish you would trust me. Let me help you.”
We stared at each other for a second, and instead of handing them back to me, he put the key in the lock, finding the right one the first time.
Pushing open the door, he said, “I will find out your secrets. I’m not going away.”
Could the man read my mind? Why was he so bloody persistent?
“Thank you for bringing me home,” I said, standing on the first stair, which brought me to his eye level. That thing that had fizzed between us was now on fire.
He seemed to look at me for long a moment. Was he feeling it too?
“I’ll see you inside,” he said.
My stomach flipped. How was it possible to fancy and hate a man at the same time? “No, you don’t have to. I’d rather you go.”
His lips made a thin line. “Would you?” I dropped my eyes. “You’ll not get rid of me that easily.”
He seemed to linger at the bottom as I went upstairs. Damn this man!
As I reached the top, I gasped. The flat door was ajar. “Ryan!”
He rushed up the stairs, pulling out a radio and asking for backup at the same time.
“Stay here,” he said, cautiously pushing open the door.
I stood for a moment, but was never very good at doing as I was told. I peered inside. As he came out of Abby’s room, he saw me and his eyes flashed angrily.
I went into my bedroom. It was empty. “There’s no one here,” I called. “False alarm. You can go now.”
Just at that moment, the door moved, and a figure came out from behind it. His arm raised and everything went black.
Noise penetrated my head. I could feel myself in motion and vaguely thought I was going from the outside to inside, but I had no idea where inside was. I had been beaten to a pulp and thought I was going to die. I didn’t realise at that point I was getting myself mixed up with Kelly and what happened to her. I’d been hit in the head and this confused my brain.
All I knew was I didn’t want to be touched. There was pain when I was touched. I tried to flay my arms to get them to stop as my mouth wouldn’t form proper words. It was a stroke. I was trapped in my body again. Would this nightmare ever end?
“A slight scrape,” said a voice. There was a sudden sting at the back of my hand. Something pressed against my chest, there were beeping sounds and the name Sarah was being repeated over and over again. Who is Sarah?
I’m not sure of the actual moment I became lucid again. I sort of came to slowly, “It was Sue,” I mumbled, and I remembered the beautiful dress I didn’t get to wear. “Where’s my dress?”
I knew I was confusing what happened before with now, but I couldn’t work out which one was now.
“A woman?” Ryan’s voice asked with surprise.
“No, it was a man behind the door,” I whispered, opening my eyes to a bright intense light. I was in a room, not unlike the other. It had pale cream walls and a window with open blinds that looked into a ward. My head felt like it was splitting open.
“You’re safe now.” Ryan was rising from a chair beside me. He leaned over the bed so I could see him without moving my head. “How do you feel?”
My eyes blurred, and I felt a hot tear slide down my cheek and wetting the pillow. “Did you get him?”
“No, I gave chase, but I was more concerned about you.”
“My head?”
“Fractured skull, weakened because it’s been done before, hasn’t it?”
I nodded and, then winced because it hurt.
“Whose Sue?”
“She did it to me before,” I whispered, my voice a little stronger.
“Sue, who?”
“Bless you,” I said and gave a half smile, but my attempt at humour wasn’t appreciated.
“What was her last name, Sarah? Give me some clue as to who you really are?”
“I don’t know,” I lied. “The bang to my head made me forget everything.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“You’re like a dog with a bone,” I told him. My back was hurting. “Will you help me sit up?”
He picked up a wire with a button on the end and pressed. The top of the bed slowly rose up.
“Stop,” I said, trying to wriggle myself into a comfortable position.
“Here,” he said, placing one hand on the top of my back, and the other on my shoulder, forcing me forward slightly as he adjusted my pillows.
“Thanks,” I said, his touch was comforting.
I could see the room more clearly with a view of the window in the building opposite.
“Zero points for the view, but the flowers are beautiful.” Red and yellow tulips brightened the room.
“Abby sat with you for a while.”
“How long have I been out?”
“Twenty-four hours.” At my look of surprise, he added, “They kept you sedated, you’ve been in a pretty bad way.”
I grimaced. “No wonder I feel like I’ve got a really bad hangover.”
There was no kidding myself. It was Johnny. How did he find me? He didn’t tolerate betrayal, and I’d made him angry, probably more so because he loved me. I was the last person he would have expected to betray him. He will have taken it very hard, meaning he would come down hard. Johnny had to be seen to be doing the right thing. His reputation was everything. More so now he was inside.
The day he lost his temper and hit me over and over again was a turning point. He had never released his temper with me before, and it was a shock to us both. It wasn’t supposed to happen again, but it did.
Then there was Pete. He had always been my friend, always looked out for me, so I had betrayed him more than anyone. He couldn’t understand what I had done and would still angry. He wouldn’t do this to me, surely?
Then there was everyone else, Shaun, Dave and probably others. I had betrayed them all.
“Was it a girl? You said earlier it was Sue.” Ryan said, bringing me back to the present.
“I was getting mixed up.”
“Mixed up with what, Sarah? You have to trust me now.”
“I can’t.”
“I did some further digging and still found nothing. A complete zero. Everyone has a history, except you.”
“I can’t,” I repeated, not looking at him. They told me there would never be a circumstance that would require me to reveal my name. Not ever. I trusted Ryan, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell anything to him.
I was on my own now, and I didn’t understand why. They had given me a telephone number in case of an emergency. The brick had been an emergency; the razor blades had been an emergency. I desperately needed help. So why didn’t it work? It didn’t even ring out. It was just dead. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do.
Then Ryan said it. “You’re in Witness Protection, aren’t you?”
I looked at him, and nodded, not trusting myself to speak, but it was a relief to hear the words.
I hadn’t revealed anything, and now I wasn’t on my own anymore.
He stood up and took my hand. “It’s okay,” His other hand clasped my shoulder. It was probably the worst thing he could have done. I sort of lost it for a minute. Blubbering in the way you really don’t want to, and it took every ounce of strength to pull myself together. Anyway, what policeman took his AP’s hand and rubbed her shoulder?
“I’m sorry,” I said as he handed me a clump of tissues from the box on the bedside locker.
“It’s okay,” he said, sitting back down in the chair. “It looks like you’ve had a lot to deal with.”
“It’s been fine for such a long while.”
“Have you got a contact number? Usually there’s someone you can contact if things go wrong. I’d say this was the time to give them a call.”
“I have, but each time I tried, the line was dead. I don’t know what to do.”
“Let me have the number, and I’ll get it checked out.”
“Okay,” I said and recited it.
“Are you sure you’ve remembered it correctly?”
“Positive. I’m good with numbers. That’s the right one.”
He wrote it down. “I don’t suppose you want to tell me your real name? It might help.”
“Yes,” I said and saw the flicker of surprise cross his face. “It’s Sarah Whitaker.”
He sighed, looking sad for a moment. I wished with all my heart that I could blurt the whole thing and be done with it forever.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Kelly
Kelly opened the front door just as Dave was putting his key into the lock. She squealed with delight.
He grinned and sang, “I’m home.”
She stepped back as he came inside. “Johnny! Pete!” she called, as she threw her arms around his neck. He gave her a hug back, still grinning like a Cheshire cat. Johnny and Pete appeared just as he put her down. They slapped him on the back and shook hands.
“All charges dropped,” he declared. “Someone came forward to say they saw him lunge at me first.”
Pete and Johnny looked at one another, then back at Dave. “That’s what happened, right?”
“Yes, but there were no witnesses.”
The Truth Will Out Page 7