by Ella Zeiss
Chapter 7
With mixed feelings, Anna looked at her son standing by the door with the other children, ready to set off. Love and pride welled up inside her when she saw him take a small girl’s hand and say something to cheer her up.
Anna gave him one last hug. ‘You all have to stay together, do you hear?’ she warned the children. ‘And on the way back too. No one is allowed to walk home alone.’ She vividly recalled yesterday’s blizzard. A single child could so easily get lost in weather like that, or fall and get hurt.
‘Let’s go!’ Lena approached the group with her two children. Although her ankle still hurt, she didn’t want the two of them to journey to school without her on their first day and had decided to accompany them.
They joined the schoolchildren from the other huts who were already waiting outside. Two more mothers would go along with Lena.
Anna waved to Erich until he was out of sight. At least the weather was better this morning. It was way before dawn, but the pale moonlight coming through the clouds was reflected by the snow so that it was more or less possible to see where you were going. Nonetheless each of the women held a lantern taken from the huts.
Anna sighed and went back indoors. She had done all she could to keep Erich as warm and safe as possible. His new jacket really fitted well now and he was wearing the boots she had bought him. They were far too big, but she’d put pads of cloth in the toes so that his feet wouldn’t slip around too much.
Back indoors, she looked around for Yvo and found her over with Maria and her daughter. She would get to work at once. She wanted to mend the clothes she had been given yesterday by the Commander’s wife, and then have a go at making a hat with earflaps for Yvo out of the material left over from Erich’s jacket.
She turned up the oil lamp to have more light to work by and unpacked the bundle of clothes. As she examined the two shirts and a pair of trousers, she suddenly had to smile. They were probably the oldest pieces of clothing the Commander’s wife had been able to find. She obviously didn’t trust the new resettlers one bit. She’d probably not mind too much if she never saw these clothes again. Anna decided not to be influenced by that. She would darn the clothes with the same care she would have given to the finest material. This was her chance to show off her skills and that was what she was going to do.
While she was sewing, her thoughts kept revolving around Martha’s situation. Fear and exhaustion had been clearly visible in the young woman’s face when she departed with the work gang this morning. Anna had passed on her old boots to her as well as some scraps of cloth to wrap around her feet. Martha had nearly burst into tears of gratitude, then she’d said goodbye to her son as if she never expected to see him again. The little boy had held on to Anna’s skirts bravely and not given in to his own tears until his mother had left the hut.
Things simply couldn’t go on like this. What made it so awful, apart from the suffering, was that it could have happened to any of them – still could happen to any of them. When the men were unable to work for any reason, their wives would have to stand in for them in order to feed their families. Anna shuddered at the thought and decided to concentrate on the fact that she was much stronger than Martha and that the other women in the work gang were not so frail either. Martha did seem to have been plagued by particularly bad luck from day one.
When she had finished darning the clothes and folded them neatly, Anna stood up resolutely. She would speak to the Commander, even though her heart leapt into her mouth at the thought of doing so. She would use her sewing for his household as well as Rita’s birth certificate, which she still had to hand in, as an excuse to see the Commander. Perhaps she could find an opportunity to talk to him.
‘Where are you going?’ Maria asked, looking up in surprise when Anna came over to her.
‘I want to talk to the Commander.’
‘Whatever for?’
It was obvious her friend didn’t think this was a good idea. Anna doubted her sudden courage too. She knew nothing about this man, except that he had a wife and children. Would that be enough? So far he had neither been very generous nor particularly hard towards the new resettlers. How would he react when she approached him directly to ask for something?
‘It won’t take long,’ she said quickly before she could change her mind.
The snow under her boots creaked quietly as she walked over to the last hut, the administration block, which stood somewhat apart from the others. As she went past, she nodded to the few women standing by the fires, talking or cooking. Slowly but surely they were turning into a small community.
Outside the door, Anna stopped and gathered her thoughts for a moment. Then she knocked.
A soldier opened the door and raised his eyebrows.
‘I would like to see the Commander,’ she explained in the firmest voice she could muster.
‘What about?’ The man stared at her sceptically.
‘I was asked to hand in my foster-child’s birth certificate,’ she said.
‘You can show it to me, Comrade,’ he said, moving aside to let Anna enter.
The hut was the same size as the one she lived in, but that was about the only similarity. Anna assumed that the Commander’s office lay behind the wooden partition screening off the far end. In the front half were two windows which let murky daylight into the room, and an oven radiating heat. On the right side, the same bunks lined the wall, but on the left there were two desks.
The soldier sat down at one of them and took out a list of names. ‘What is the child’s name?’
‘Rita Hamann.’ Anna’s heart sank. Her agitation had all been for nothing. The way things were going, she wouldn’t be given the opportunity to speak to the Commander.
‘You said the date of birth is the 8th of May 1924. Is that correct?’
‘Yes,’ Anna said, giving him the birth certificate.
‘Good. Thank you for your time, Comrade,’ the soldier said after taking a quick look at the certificate. ‘Is there anything else?’ he added, sounding surprised when Anna failed to leave.
‘Yes, I have a parcel for the Commander,’ she said quietly, pointing at the bundle of clothes under her arm.
‘A parcel?’ the soldier asked with a suspicious look.
‘Or rather it’s for his wife,’ Anna corrected herself hastily. ‘I thought he might be able to take it home for her, then I wouldn’t have to walk all the way to Luza.’
‘Give it to me. I’ll pass it on.’
Anna hesitated. She didn’t want to risk the clothes being lost on the way. Luckily she didn’t have to make up her mind.
The Commander must have heard them talking and stepped out of the office. ‘What’s going on out here?’
‘This woman says she has a bundle of clothes for you.’
The man came closer. ‘What is your name, Comrade?’ he asked with interest.
‘Anna Scholz,’ she said, straightening her shoulders.
‘Oh, you visited my wife yesterday.’
‘Yes.’ Anna could hear the blood rushing in her ears.
‘And what brings you to me?’
‘I’ve finished the work,’ she said, holding out the bundle.
‘Very well, I’ll pass this on to my wife.’
‘Thank you.’ Anna cleared her throat. ‘There’s just one more thing.’
The Commander was about to leave but he stopped. ‘Yes?’
‘I would like to discuss the issue of childcare.’
‘What issue? The children are with their mothers, are they not? What more could you want?’ He sounded annoyed.
Anna took a deep breath. Now or never. ‘If we had a kindergarten, then the women could maybe look for work in town.’
‘A kindergarten.’ He shook his head. ‘We have no money for a kindergarten and no qualified carers. Unless you happen to be one?’
Anna shook her head. ‘But one or two of the mothers could do that, and there’s more than enough room while the work gang is away du
ring the day.’
He looked at her thoughtfully. ‘You seem to have thought of everything, haven’t you? All right, if you think it’s so important you can organise it.’
‘Thank you, but I’m a seamstress. There is someone more suitable.’
‘And who might that be?’ He looked as if he was beginning to regret this whole conversation.
‘Martha Gerz.’
The Commander looked at the soldier, who simply shrugged as if he had no idea. He certainly didn’t seem to recognise the name.
‘Why is she so qualified?’
Only because she would not survive the next month if things stayed the way they were. Anna lowered her voice and gave the Commander an imploring look. There was nothing else she could do except appeal to his heart, and hope that he had one. ‘She has been allocated to work in the forests but she’s not up to the job. She has no husband with her and a little son to look after. He has no one else but her.’
The man frowned. ‘What do you think would happen if I let everyone off work who can’t manage? I have a quota to fulfil after all.’
‘But she can’t satisfy her quota,’ Anna tried again. ‘She’s undermining the productivity of the whole work gang. If she dies, there will be one more orphan to care for, but if she could look after the children, she could make a worthwhile contribution.’
The Commander clenched his teeth.
Worried, Anna tried to read the play of emotions on his face. She sincerely hoped that her actions would have no negative consequences for herself.
At last he sighed. ‘I will consider it,’ he said gruffly, and turned away.
Only now did Anna realise that she had been holding her breath all the while. Relieved, she breathed in deeply. ‘Goodbye,’ she said, nodding to the soldier and hurrying out of the hut.
She probably wouldn’t get paid for her needlework, but at least she had done everything in her power for Martha.
When Anna got back to her hut, the women were all crowding around a big tub, washing their clothes. She quickly peeled off her coat and gathered up the pile of washing she had prepared the night before.
‘How did it go?’ Maria asked as Anna joined the others.
She shrugged. ‘We’ll see.’
‘What did you say to him?’ Her friend’s eyes glinted with curiosity.
‘I’ll tell you later,’ Anna whispered. She didn’t want to talk in front of the other women. For one thing, she had no idea if her suggestion would be approved, and for another, she was not sure whether everyone would agree with her choice of childminder.
She dipped an item of clothing into the soapy water, which was still pleasantly warm. It felt good to be doing something normal like washing clothes for a change. The other women felt the same. They were all joking and laughing.
When they were finished, they hung up the washing outside by the fire and began to fill buckets with snow to heat on the stove for warm water to bathe the children.
Anna’s heart lightened as she watched Yvo and Rita splashing around in the tub and she added a fresh bar of soap to her mental shopping list.
Once the children were dried off and wrapped up warm, the women hung up two sheets around the tub to create a bit of privacy as each of them stepped into the water one by one and got washed.
Anna would have loved some fresh water, but it would have taken far too long, so she climbed into the grey, almost cold, water somewhat reluctantly when it was her turn. It still felt good to wash her long hair properly for once, even if she had to make do with a communal piece of soap. She scrubbed off the dirt from her body and then climbed out of the tub, shivering all over. After drying herself off, she slipped into her clothes as fast as possible and went to join everyone by the stove to try and warm up.
‘Perhaps we can swim in the Luza River in the summer,’ Maria said effusively, and Anna had to agree that the thought of bathing in the river and then drying off in the sun was very tempting. She had no idea if the water here in the North ever reached a pleasant temperature, but she wasn’t going to spoil her friend’s dreams.
They had just changed the water when the children returned from school. Anna could see why it took a whole day to do the washing and bathe everyone in the hut. When she remembered that the men wouldn’t be back until late, she realised they probably wouldn’t be finished before midnight.
The following morning, the men and the few women in the work gang stood in the middle aisle waiting to depart as usual but no one came to fetch them. Uncertain of what to do, they stayed where they were. Some of them removed their warm hats while they waited.
Anna wasn’t worried. It meant they could all stay warm for a little longer and be saved from the cold.
Then they heard voices outside. Something was happening. People were shouting orders and she thought she heard the sound of a horse whinnying. She looked at Wilhelm, but he shrugged. He had no idea what was going on either. The other resettlers were equally confused, craning their necks to see and whispering quietly to each other, but no one wanted to leave the warm hut to see what was going on.
At last the door opened and the Commander appeared, accompanied by several guards. Instantly the room fell silent, with all eyes fixed anxiously on the new arrivals.
‘You’re in luck,’ the Commander called out in a loud voice. ‘A new settlement is going to be built especially for you.’
If he had thought this would come as good news, he was wrong. Anna felt sick the minute he stopped speaking. That couldn’t be all.
‘The work gangs have been assigned to clear the forest. The rest of you will join them in the spring.’
A shocked silence greeted his words. They were taking the men away!
Somewhere a woman started to cry. Anna bit her lip to hold back her own tears. Her chin quivered as she caught Wilhelm’s eye. He looked pale but did his best to give her an encouraging smile.
‘You have five minutes to say goodbye to your families.’
The group dispersed. As she threw herself into Wilhelm’s arms, Anna saw Martha clinging to her son, shaking and crying. Then she hugged Wilhelm fiercely. ‘Promise me you’ll be back,’ she whispered hoarsely while tears ran down her cheeks. He nodded without a word. They both knew what his promise was worth – there was hardly any chance they would ever see each other again.
He looked deep into her eyes. ‘I love you,’ he said quietly.
‘And I love you,’ she mumbled, desperately pressing her lips to his. When they separated at last, she gently traced the contours of his face with her fingers, unable to let him go.
‘We’ll manage,’ he promised her earnestly. ‘Don’t ever stop believing that.’
She nodded and hugged him again, then he gently freed himself from her arms in order to say goodbye to the children.
Anna’s eyes followed her husband but she couldn’t move. She jumped when someone cautiously touched her arm. Martha was standing at her side, drenched in tears. ‘Please, please can you take care of my son,’ she implored hysterically. She tried to push the sobbing child who was clinging to her thigh over to Anna without letting go of his arm. She had no real hope of surviving the next few months.
All of a sudden Anna could feel the anger rise inside her. This was not fair! Taking Martha with them was the equivalent of a death sentence. They might as well put her up against a wall and shoot her. It would be kinder!
She looked around to find the Commander and as soon as she set eyes on him, she headed in his direction, pulling Martha behind her. She knew that it was taking a serious risk but she couldn’t just stand there doing nothing. The Commander had listened to her plea the last time around. She hoped that he wouldn’t now turn into a monster.
‘Comrade Scholz,’ he said, looking surprised, ‘shouldn’t you be saying goodbye to your husband?’
Anna swallowed hard. ‘I have done that already,’ she said, mustering all her courage. ‘It was you I wanted to talk to.’
‘What about?’ He had probably
guessed what she was going to say. He looked at the two women with a slightly exasperated expression on his face.
‘There are women in the work gang,’ Anna started to say.
‘I am aware of that,’ he interrupted gruffly. ‘Everyone has to do their part for the good of the country, regardless of sex. All people are equal, Comrade.’
‘Of course,’ she agreed quickly, ‘but the women here have children; some of them have small children.’ She pulled Martha closer. ‘This is Comrade Gerz and her son Friedrich. He is only five years old.’
The Commander eyed the skinny woman unwillingly.
Martha didn’t dare look up. She just stood there shaking, her fingers curled tightly around her son’s hand.
‘What do you want from me?’ the Commander asked quietly.
‘Mercy,’ Anna answered equally quietly.
He was quiet for so long that she didn’t really expect an answer any more. ‘I can’t make any exceptions,’ he said at last, sounding sorry. ‘There are other women in the work gang.’
Anna nodded, devastated. There was nothing more she could do.
Martha collapsed in tears beside her son.
Abruptly the Commander turned and left the hut.
‘Right, time’s up. Everyone line up,’ one of the guards ordered.
People lined up with bowed heads. Martha had to physically pull her son away and hand him to Anna. ‘Take care of him . . .’ she sobbed, before clasping her hand over her mouth and stumbling to her position in the work gang, blinded by tears.
‘Mama? MAMA!’ Friedrich screamed, scrabbling to get away from Anna, but she held him tight, talking to him in soothing tones.
‘Mama has to go to work now,’ she whispered, her throat choked with the pain she was feeling. ‘She’ll be back soon.’ She tried to smile to make the lie more believable. ‘And until then we’ll be looking after you,’ she said, nearly sobbing. ‘Everything is going to be just fine, you wait and see.’
Wilhelm brought the children over to her and squeezed her shoulder reassuringly before he too joined the work gang. Anna looked him up and down. He was as well equipped as possible, young and strong. He would survive. He had to.