by Ella Zeiss
‘I can take that work off your hands. In my company, I am the one to decide who is friend and who is foe.’ He touched the gun that hung on his hip at all times. ‘And I make short work of my enemies, believe you me.’
‘With all due respect, Director Muradov, I doubt you have the authority to—’ the GUGB agent started to say, but Muradov wouldn’t let him finish.
‘You see this here?’ he said, pointing to a medal on his chest. ‘And this?’ He stroked the gun. ‘Comrade Kliment Yefremovich Voroshilov presented this to me personally. Apparently he has absolute trust in my judgment – I wonder what right you have to question it. I can assure you again, I will not tolerate traitors in my workforce. I now request that you leave my premises or else I will have no choice but to complain to your superiors about your disrespect.’
For a moment or two the GUGB men stared at him grimly, clenching their teeth. ‘I hope you know what you’re doing, Comrade Muradov,’ one of them said at last, then they turned away and walked out of the warehouse.
Harri ducked even further into the shadows as the men came past, but they didn’t look up. They were too deep in a whispered conversation.
‘We will see just how long he lasts.’
‘So long as Comrade Voroshilov is personally protecting him, there is nothing we can do.’
Finally they stepped outside and Harri could hear no more of what they were saying. The engine roared into life, and small stones sprayed against the side of the building as the car drove away.
‘I don’t know how I can thank you,’ Vater said quietly.
‘Keep up the good work,’ the director answered. ‘You have given me no reason to doubt your loyalty to the Party. As long as it stays that way, everything is fine. Now you carry on here and I’ll send the others back in – they’ve had quite long enough for a cigarette break.’
Vater nodded and the director turned away. Harri didn’t move until the man had left the warehouse, then he ran to his father.
‘Where did you spring from?’ he asked, surprised, then suddenly frowned. ‘Did you hear what we were talking about?’
Harri nodded. ‘I was just bringing your lunch when I saw the car and crept in without being seen.’ He paused. ‘Will you need to go away again?’
‘No!’ The hint of a smile crossed Vater’s lips. ‘This time we were lucky.’ He looked at his son earnestly. ‘I don’t want you to say anything to Mutter about this. She’d only be worried for nothing.’
‘She has a right to know,’ Harri said quietly. He could still remember how devastated Tante Gerda had been when Onkel Otto was arrested without warning. They had all thought nothing could happen to him, that they were safe. It was cruel to suddenly realise you had been deluding yourself. ‘At least she could prepare herself for the worst instead of being a victim of fate.’
His father looked at him in surprise – and with newfound respect. ‘Is that what you think?’
‘Yes, it is.’ Harri stuck out his chin. He didn’t often disagree with his father but this time he wasn’t going to back down.
‘All right, I’ll talk to her this evening, but don’t say anything before then. Agreed?’
‘Agreed.’
‘Right. Now, let’s have a look at what you’ve brought me for lunch.’
On the way home, conflicting thoughts and feelings chased through his mind. Fear that the sunny side of life they were experiencing at last would be over again far too soon. The knowledge that their father was in danger and that therefore all of them were. Relief that he hadn’t been captured. The wonderful realisation that some people were still prepared to stand up for others simply because it was the right thing to do.
That gave him hope and the feeling of not being alone, despite the prevailing odds. Of course there was no guarantee that someone would always be able to protect them, but with a bit of luck, people would simply leave them alone one day. All this madness had to come to an end sometime.
Chapter 18
December 1939, Aghstafa, Soviet Republic of Azerbaijan
Nervously Mutter went over to the window and looked out, though she needn’t have bothered. It was already pitch-black outside but Harri knew what was worrying her. Vater should have been back hours ago. Mutter’s shift in quality control started before Vater’s shift at the warehouse, so she was usually back in the late afternoon and had time to cook the evening meal before he got home from work.
This evening they had waited for him for a long time but eventually went ahead and silently and despondently ate without him. No one dared say so but they were all thinking the same thing – that he had been arrested on some flimsy excuse and torn from the bosom of his family.
The tension increased with every minute that passed.
‘He’s bound to be back soon,’ Harri said in a doomed attempt to cheer them all up.
‘Yes, he is,’ Emma echoed. She went over to Mutter and hugged her gently. ‘Don’t worry.’
‘Thank you, my darlings.’ Mutter took a deep breath and attempted a smile, although it came out more like a grimace.
Just then the door swung open; startled, they all turned round.
‘Oh, thank goodness!’ Mutter gasped, and ran into her husband’s arms. ‘Where were you? We were all so worried about you.’
He gently removed her arms from around his neck and stroked Emma’s cheek when she came running up to him. ‘I’m fine,’ he said, but his face told a different story. Harri had never seen him looking so grim.
‘What is it?’ Mutter asked in alarm. She had noticed his dark mood too.
Vater unbuttoned his coat and kicked off his shoes. ‘I was at the hospital,’ he explained. ‘Muradov has had a heart attack.’
‘How is he?’ Mutter asked, putting a hand over her mouth. ‘Is he going to make it?’
Vater just shrugged tiredly. ‘I sincerely hope so. No one can say anything for certain yet.’
Harri saw the confused look on his sister’s face. She didn’t understand why this incident was worrying her parents so much. Vater often talked about Muradov and how he enjoyed working for him, but he wasn’t a friend or someone they had much to do with. Emma had no idea that the director had likely been the only obstacle between the secret police and her father. If Muradov wasn’t there to protect him, those two agents who’d been humiliated would want to get even.
When he went to bed Harri prayed for the first time in ages. He prayed for Director Muradov to recover and get well enough to be able to resume his position at the state farm, and he prayed for his father to be left in peace.
The next few days were full of worried anticipation. The director’s condition was certainly very serious but Harri was sure he was going to pull through until the day his parents came home earlier than usual, looking grave and sad. The director had died after all and they’d been sent home two hours early as a mark of respect. The funeral would be held in two days’ time.
‘What’ll happen to us?’ Harri asked his father quietly when Emma and his mother had left the room for a moment.
‘What do you mean?’ his father said, refusing to give anything away.
‘You know what I mean. Will the GUGB come and take you away?’
‘You shouldn’t worry so much, son – have a little faith.’
Harri snorted angrily. ‘Faith in what?’
‘In God.’
‘Does he even exist? They don’t teach us anything about him at school.’ So far Harri had been given little reason to believe in him.
Vater looked at him thoughtfully. ‘Look, we’re alive and together, we’ve got a roof over our heads and enough to eat. What more do we need? He brought us this far and will continue to lead us. We can trust in that.’
Harri swallowed the angry words fizzing on the tip of his tongue. Onkel Otto’s faith in God had been no use to him and the same could be said for many other people besides. Still, arguing about it would get them nowhere. Whether or not there was a God wouldn’t change their situation or any
thing else. ‘So what now?’
‘We carry on living the same as before and keep on enjoying every day we can spend together.’
Harri pressed his lips together and turned away, feeling helpless, angry and at the mercy of other people. His family didn’t deserve to live in constant fear. They weren’t harming anyone, weren’t doing anything wrong, were committing no crimes. He was seething inside as though he might explode any minute.
‘You could chop some fresh wood,’ Vater said all of a sudden. He pointed to the half-empty log basket beside the stove.
‘But there’s enough there,’ Harri protested.
‘It’ll do you good though, believe me,’ his father said with a knowing smile.
Sighing, Harri grabbed his coat and went to fetch the axe from the shed.
It wasn’t the first time he found himself wondering how his parents could live like this for so many years, with all the tension and constant fear. He was only slowly beginning to grasp just how serious their situation was. Two weeks ago, his physics teacher hadn’t shown up for class. Everyone said he was a traitor, and he wasn’t even German. He was a friendly and intelligent man who had always encouraged his pupils to use their brains and make up their own minds. Perhaps that was precisely his crime. Harri happened to overhear a conversation between his parents where his father had said that it wouldn’t be long before everyone belonging to the educated classes was under general suspicion. It didn’t make sense as far as Harri was concerned. At school they were always being pushed to achieve more. Stalin himself had coined the infamous phrase that hung in every classroom Harri had ever been in: Knowledge is light. Ignorance is darkness. Why would a party that upheld such values persecute people who strove for the light?
Harri put a log on the ground and swung his axe. The wood splintered and split in two. He grabbed one of the halves and split it into smaller wedges, over and over again. He could feel the heat he generated starting to spread through his body, the blood rushing through his veins.
His mother and sister came out of the stables laughing, carrying a pail of fresh steaming milk between them.
He couldn’t help smiling at the sight of them despite himself. Perhaps his father was right after all. Perhaps all they could do was live one day at a time, enjoying even the briefest moments of happiness and drawing enough strength and confidence from that in order to survive the difficult times ahead.
Mutter flew into the house, gasping for breath and sounding hysterical. Harri and Emma, who were both doing their homework, leapt to their feet in dismay.
‘Vater has been called in to the People’s Commissariat for Internal Affairs,’ she exclaimed, shaking visibly.
‘Has he been arrested?’ Harri asked, ready for the worst. Emma let out a sob beside him.
‘No,’ Mutter said, shaking her head and at a loss how to explain. ‘We received a call ordering him to report immediately. He said goodbye and left straight away . . .’
‘Would he have run away?’ Feelings of hope and worry battled inside him.
‘No, he didn’t want to do that, not again, and not before he knows what this is all about. He hasn’t been accused of anything or arrested as far as I know.’ She spoke slowly and deliberately as if she couldn’t believe what she was saying.
‘It’s bound to be nothing,’ Harri said, trying to reassure her as he pushed his own doubts aside. ‘He’ll be back soon and then he can tell us more.’
‘You’re probably right,’ Mutter said with a grateful smile, hugging both of her children. ‘I don’t know what I’d do without you,’ she whispered.
‘You don’t need to know,’ Emma said. ‘We will always be here for you.’
Two hours of tense waiting went by. Although Harri did his best to distract himself by doing something useful, nothing could catch his attention for long. Despite the complicated maths problems and the book he had borrowed from the school library, his mind kept going back to his father. What might he be doing now, how was he faring? Harri was just beginning to wonder if he should go out and chop some more wood despite the dark, when the door opened and his father walked in at last.
He looked furious.
‘What happened? What did they want?’ Mutter cried.
‘Nothing much except to humiliate me and make my life as hard as possible.’ He sighed and shook his head angrily. ‘Scum!’
‘What happened?’ Mutter asked again, more gently this time.
‘I’ve lost my job and now I’ve got this nice note in my passport.’ He pulled the red booklet from his pocket and threw it on the table in disgust.
Mutter picked it up cautiously and opened it. She stared at the entry for a moment and then her brow creased. ‘What does it mean? No right of abode within one hundred miles of a railway station?’
‘It means exactly what it says. I am only allowed to live in areas without a train connection.’
‘Why on earth?’
He snorted unhappily. ‘Who knows? When did the People’s Commissariat ever have to justify its actions? I seem potentially dangerous and maybe they think I’m going to flee, even though they haven’t charged me with anything.’
‘So what do we do now?’
‘I don’t know.’ He rubbed his face despondently. ‘I really don’t know, but there isn’t much time to work something out, I’m afraid. I have to leave here within twenty-four hours.’
Harri felt like yelling with anger and frustration. Once again his father was leaving, dropping everything with no idea where he could go. It was like running away all over again, even if it was ordered by the People’s Commissariat this time.
‘I’d like something to eat, please,’ Vater said flatly.
Mutter and Emma jumped to their feet.
‘Where will you go?’ Harri asked quietly.
Vater sighed. ‘Farther south. There are hardly any trains there. Maybe I’ll be lucky again.’
When Harri and his sister set off to school the following morning, they knew that Vater would be gone before they returned in the afternoon. His packed suitcase was already standing beside the door and Mutter was putting together a bundle of provisions for him.
‘I’ll be in touch as soon and as often as possible,’ he promised. At least they wouldn’t have to worry in case someone intercepted their post this time.
Vater hugged his children goodbye and smiled at them reassuringly. ‘Chin up, we managed last time and we’ll manage again.’
They went out, walking backwards and waving to their father until the house disappeared out of sight behind a bend.
Emma sniffed quietly and Harri put his arm round her shoulders to comfort her. ‘It’ll be all right,’ he promised, and she leaned her head into his shoulder gratefully.
Harri felt the emptiness as soon as they got home from school. Everything was the same as usual except that Vater’s slippers were no longer by the door, as Mutter had already tidied them away, and yet everything felt totally different. The simple fact that he knew his father would not be coming home in the evening made him miss him terribly.
Emma and Mutter had just finished clearing the table after dinner when there was a loud rap on the door. They all looked at each other in dismay. Mutter slowly put down the tea towel she had been using to dry the forks, and opened the door.
‘Comrade Pfeiffer?’ a man in a GUGB uniform enquired politely.
‘Yes?’ she said, looking at him expectantly.
‘Could I speak to your husband, please?’
‘He’s not here,’ she exclaimed angrily. ‘It was the People’s Commissariat who ordered him to leave.’
‘Would you mind if I checked to make sure of that?’
Mutter crossed her arms and stepped aside to let him in. ‘Please do!’
The man walked across the living room and took a quick look into the two adjoining rooms. He didn’t seem to be very comfortable. He was still quite young and Harri suspected that he hadn’t been with the secret police for very long.
�
��Thank you,’ he said at last, ‘and good evening.’
Although the man had behaved in a polite and considerate manner, they all held their breath until he had left the house.
‘Right, we’ve dealt with him. Now all we can do is wait.’
The next few months were frustratingly monotonous. After that first GUGB visit they weren’t bothered again. Once in a while a short letter from their father would arrive and be read with the greatest joy and excitement, even if it only contained more or less the same news every time. He could find no work apart from odd jobs to pay his expenses. The note in his passport meant that no one was willing to give him proper work or even let him rent a room or apartment. Everyone was afraid they would be accused of helping an enemy of the people and only cause difficulties for themselves. Each letter made Vater’s exhaustion and despair more apparent. Even Mutter no longer believed he would be able to find a suitable position.
Spring came and with it the planting season. As usual, the children were let out from school a week early to help in the fields of the sovkhoz. Harri enjoyed the hard work even if he fell into bed exhausted at the end of every day. The spring holidays would begin as soon as they were finished and then it wasn’t long before it would be time to start preparing for his end-of-year exams, which were more difficult in year eight than in the previous years.
After the last day working in the fields, he lay in bed imagining all the things he was going to do in the holidays while his sister slept deeply on the other side of the room.
Suddenly he heard a sound in the living room, clicking and scratching as if someone was fiddling with the lock on the door.
Harri sat up, alarmed, and listened. Mutter had already gone to bed, he was sure, because there was no light coming in under the door. As quietly as possible, Harri swung his legs out of bed and searched around for something to use as a weapon. By the pale light of the moon coming in through the window, he could see his schoolbag still packed with all the heavy books he had brought home on the last day of term. It wasn’t much but it was better than nothing. Quietly he picked up his bag and checked the catch. If he swung it by its straps, it should have quite an impressive amount of clout. Now that he was armed, he crept to the door and opened it carefully.