by RB Hilliard
That night sleep evaded me again. This thing with Blake was really bothering me. One way or the other I was going to have to tell him, and soon. I stared down at Cathryn and my heart swelled. If I had to choose between my best friend and this woman, as hard as it would be, I would choose Cathryn. I just hoped it didn’t come to that.
Eight days later…
“I think I pulled a muscle on your living room sofa,” Cathryn confessed.
“You want me to rub it?”
“I would say yes but it would lead to sex and we’ve already had sex twice tonight so I think I’m going to have to pass.
She giggled when I grabbed her and dragged her up the bed to rest between my legs. I’d had more sex in two weeks than I’d had in the past year. Every time I was around Cathryn, I wanted her. The only place we hadn’t fucked, yet, was in my office at Whisky’s. That was happening the minute I returned from my trip to Winston. The trip I had yet to tell Cathryn about.
Pulling her back against my chest, I whispered in her ear, “Where does it hurt, baby?”
“Here,” she said, and pointed to a place on her bare shoulder. I scooted her forward and began rubbing the spot. “That feels good,” she moaned. My dick shot to attention and decided it was time to play again, but first I needed to tell her about my trip.
“You remember me telling you about the hotel in Winston?” I asked.
“MmmmHmmmm,” she moaned, and my dick twitched. “I mean it, Zane, keep that thing away from me,” she warned.
Here was the perfect opening. “It looks like you’re going to get your wish because I have to leave for Winston tomorrow morning.”
She turned and stared at me. “What do you mean?”
“If I want the hotel I have to sign the documents,” I explained.
She frowned. “We live in an electronic world. Why can’t they fax them to you?”
“Sorry, sweetheart, but this has to be done in person,” I informed her.
“Well that sucks. When will you be back?”
“We have a closing dinner tomorrow night, so I will need to spend the night. I’ll be back sometime on Wednesday.” She frowned and I kissed her. “Meet me at Whisky’s Wednesday night?”
She jerked back and stared at me. “Blake will kill us, Zane.”
“Blake is off Wednesday’s. You know, sooner or later we are going to have to tell him.” Her look of shock shouldn’t have bothered me but it did.
“You’d do that?” she asked.
The ringing of my cell interrupted the conversation. “Hang on and let me make sure it isn’t Whisky’s.” I slid out from behind her and walked across the room to my phone.
“It’s Hunter, Babe. He’s managing for me tonight. I have to get this,” I told her. She dropped back to the pillows and I hit the answer button. “Hey Hunter, what’s up?” As it turned out a pipe had burst in the men’s bathroom and I had to go in and survey the damages. I insisted Cathryn stay in my bed and she assured me she would be fine without me. I didn’t get home until after two in the morning.
The next morning I had to get up early in order to be in Winston in time for the meeting. I contemplated waking Cathryn but, after my three snoozes, didn’t have time. Before heading downstairs for coffee, I kissed the side of her head. On the way out the door I left her a note telling her to meet me tomorrow night at Whisky’s and that I would call her later.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Cathryn
‡
Zane’s home and I can’t wait to see him.
As I put on the finishing touches of makeup, I thought about the past two weeks. Before Zane, I didn’t have a clue what love was. If what my dad felt for my mom was even half of my feelings for this man, I completely understood why it almost killed him when she walked away.
“Are you ready?” Lena shouted from the bedroom. I stared at my reflection in the bathroom mirror. Zane had called before his closing dinner last night. I could tell he didn’t want to go to it because he kept making excuses to stay on the line with me. He texted me first thing this morning and wished me a great day. Then he texted again around noon to tell me he was on his way back and again around seven to make sure I was coming to see him tonight. We’d been away from each other for less than twenty-four hours but it felt like a year. I brushed my hands nervously over my dress and wondered if I should change into the black one. Tonight is the night. You can do this, Cathryn, I told myself.
Tonight was the night I was going to tell Zane I was in love with him. Was I ready? Yes. Was I terrified he might not feel the same way? Yes.
I took an hour at lunch to run to the mall. While there, I found the dress I had on. It was a peach colored sleeveless number that fit snug through the chest and flared at the waist. Just in case I changed my mind, I also bought a sexy little black dress. I decided to stick with the peach dress but was having second thoughts. I ran my fingers through my hair and fought the urge to put it up. The night we went skinny dipping Zane kept saying how much he loved it down, so I was wearing it down for a change. As for makeup, I decided to go light and natural. The dewy look worked well with the dress.
“Get out here!” Lena shouted.
I took a deep breath and headed to my closet, where I slipped on a pair of nude sandals. I made sure to pick the ones with the highest heel so I wouldn’t feel so short. I paused at my bedroom door and exhaled. Please let him feel the same way.
“You look amazing,” Lena said as I emerged from my bedroom.
I nervously fingered the hem of my dress. “You don’t think it’s too much, do you?”
Last night Lena came over and I cooked dinner for us. Over the second bottle of wine I spilled the details of my last two weeks with Zane. She was shocked to say the least, and then she was impressed. Yes, there had been a lot of sex. In fact, I was now wondering if I had a problem. Not only was Zane in my every waking thought but, now, so was sex.
“I think you look absolutely gorgeous,” she gushed. “Zane is going to lose his mind when he sees you in that dress.”
We’d decided earlier I would drive because Lena’s car was so unpredictable. I told her if need be, she could drive my car home and I would catch a ride back with Zane.
I started my car and Coleman Hell’s 2 Heads blasted through the radio.
“I love this song!” Lena shouted, and cranked it. We both laughed and my tension marginally eased.
I was thrilled to find a parking place right in front of The Dungeon. Before turning off the car I texted Zane, I’m here! When he didn’t respond I thought nothing of it.
“Okay, what’s the plan?” Lena asked.
“Zane said to meet him in his office. I’m going to drop in to give him a quick kiss and let him know I’m here and then I’ll meet you back at the bar,” I told her.
As if sensing my nervousness, she snagged my hand and squeezed. “Stop worrying, you’ve got this.”
The place was busy but nothing compared to the last time I was here. Walking on a Dream greeted us at the door. It was so loud I could barely hear the lyrics of the song. Other than the dim lights over the bar and the strobes above the dance floor, the place was dark.
“Wow!” Lena shouted, and I smiled.
“The bar is over there! Find us a seat and I’ll be back soon!” I shouted back at her.
“What do you want to drink?” she asked.
“Surprise me!” She nodded her head in understanding and took off for the bar, while I headed for the back corner and the offices. With each step I became more and more excited. By the time I reached the door with Zane’s name on it, I was practically bursting at the seams. The door was cracked and I started to push through but, at the last second, realized I’d licked all of my lip gloss off. Wanting to give Zane the full effect, I opened my clutch to find my lip gloss. That’s when I heard voices coming from inside his office. I stood there wondering what to do. Do I walk in or do I wait? Maybe I’ll just scoot a little closer. I stepped up to the door and pressed my
ear to the crack. When I couldn’t hear anything, I leaned in. The door moved and I almost lost my balance and fell through it. At the last second I caught myself and the door. After I calmed my racing heart, I stepped back up and pressed my ear to the crack. This time I could hear every word.
“What I know, Zane, is that you fucked me and loved every second of it. Admit it, you wanted me then and you still do.”
The sound of Sally’s voice made my heart plummet.
“I’m not denying you are a great lay, Sal.”
I braced myself against the door frame as pain ripped through me.
“Then why can’t we be together?” Don’t tell me you actually have a thing for your PA? Didn’t you almost get sued from screwing the last one? Plus, how could you do that to Blake?” she asked.
“What? No, Cathryn is my employee.” I strained to hear what was being said but all I got was the sound of something rustling. The next thing out of Zane’s mouth floored me. “We can’t do this here right now, Sally, and you know it.”
“Later at my place then?” she asked.
Before he could answer I was running for the door. I had to get outside now or I was going to vomit. I’d barely made it to my car when a set of arms clamped around my waist. I knew it was Zane but I didn’t care. I didn’t care about anything anymore.
“Let me go!” I shouted.
“Shhhhh, let me explain,” he said.
I tried to hold the tears back but couldn’t. My heart was raw and the pain was more than I could handle. “Please let me go,” I sobbed.
“Not until you hear me out,” he said.
“It doesn’t matter what you say because I wouldn’t believe you anyway,” I cried, and gasped when he let me go and stepped back.
“What the fuck, Cathryn?” I was hurting so deeply that I failed to recognize the pain in his voice.
“What the fuck?” I asked, “I’ll tell you. I am a fool to think you would ever change. I am just as special as Sally and Lydia and all the other women you fuck, which makes me….nothing,” I hissed.
“What the hell are you talking about?” His confused expression infuriated me.
“You can stop pretending now. I heard your conversation with Sally, Zane. You’d better hurry so you can meet her at her place after work!” I shouted.
He took a step toward me and I took a step back. “Yeah? Then you heard me tell her I wasn’t interested,” he calmly replied.
“Was that before or after you made plans to meet her later?” I snapped.
“Really? You heard me agree to meet her?” he asked. I didn’t answer because I couldn’t. “Right,” he snarled, “you didn’t hear me because I didn’t say it. Wow, thanks for believing in me, sweetheart. I admitted I fucked up but I apologized for it. Have the past two weeks meant nothing to you? Newsflash Cathryn, they’ve meant everything to me. Now, I’m going to give you a choice here. You either forgive me right here and now and we never talk about this shit with Sally or Lydia or fucking any woman again, or walk away.”
His conversation with Sally played like a broken record through my head. Had he changed? Was he really capable of changing? I wasn’t sure. I was so confused. My heart felt shredded and I wasn’t sure I could forgive and forget so easily. I wasn’t sure about anything. I stared into his beautiful face and didn’t know what to say.
He closed his eyes and I could see the pain on his face. When he opened them back up, they were cold and mean. “You know, you’re probably right not to believe in me. I think it’s best we both move on. Goodbye Cathryn,” he stonily said, and then he turned and walked away.
Oh God, what have I done?
Chapter Twenty-Four
Zane
‡
What have I done? I was shaking with anger. I’d done nothing wrong and here I was being falsely accused. Fuck that! It was apparent Cathryn only bothered to listen to part of my conversation with Sally. Had she stayed, she would have heard me tell Sally I wasn’t interested. In fact, the only damn reason I didn’t correct Sally when she mentioned Cathryn and Blake was because I wanted to talk to Blake first. If I confessed my feelings for Cathryn to Sally before talking to Blake, she would run straight to Blake and I would have a disaster on my hands.
Cathryn’s words chased me all the way back to my office. I am a fool to think you would ever change. Fuck her, I had changed…and for her, no less.
“Zane!” Sally called out, as I passed by the bar.
I held up my hand to stop her. “Not now,” I growled. She stepped back and let me pass.
“Where’s Cathryn?” someone asked, and I turned to see Lena staring straight at me.
“Gone home,” I muttered, and then headed for the sanctuary of the liquor cabinet in my office. I was well into my second drink when Lena barged in.
“What the hell happened? Why did Cathryn leave? What did you do to her, Zane?”
“What did I do to her? Why don’t you ask what she did to me?” I snapped.
“She was coming here tonight to tell you she was in love with you. Please tell me you didn’t hurt her.” Lena’s words floored me.
I’m just as special as Sally and Lydia and all the other women you fuck….Cathryn had said.
No, you are so much more…you are everything. I should have told her that.
“You did, didn’t you?” she screeched.
“No Lena, I didn’t. Thanks for the vote of confidence, by the way. For your information, not that it’s any of your damn business, Cathryn listened in on a partial conversation and ran off half-cocked,” I explained.
“I’m sorry, Zane, that really sucks.”
I gave her a scathing look. “You think?”
“Was it Sally, because you know she has a serious thing about Sally?”
“It doesn’t matter what it was. It’s over,” I told her.
“I’m sure if you talk to her…”
“I gave Cathryn the chance to stay and make it right and she didn’t. Now she’s gone and I’m done talking about it.” I pointed to the door. “There’s the door, please use it.”
“Fine, but for the record I think you are making a huge mistake.”
I tossed back the rest of my drink and slammed the glass on my desk. “Duly noted,” I growled through gritted teeth.
With a sigh of resignation, she turned and walked out of my office.
Three hours later I heard a knock on my door. “C’min!” I shouted. Hunter walked through the door with a concerned look on his face. I held up my glass. “Jon me fer a drink?”
He took one look at me and said, “Fuuuuuuck.”
“Fuck ish right,” I said, and poured two shots of whiskey partially in the glasses and partially on my desk. As Hunter sat in the chair across from me, I slid the shot his way.
“What happened?” he asked.
“I did it again, only this time was dirfent,” I told him.
“Different,” he corrected.
“That’s what I said, dirfent.”
Slamming back his drink, he pushed it over for a refill and said, “I’m not following.”
“What are you, drunk?” I asked.
“No but you sure as hell are. Start at the beginning. What did you do, again, and how is it different this time?”
I couldn’t talk and pour at the same time, so I paused mid-pour to explain. “I fucked my PA. Only this time, I didn’t kick her out after. I fell in love with her.”
“You slept with Cathryn?” he loudly whispered. “Are you insane?”
I shoved the now overflowing shot glass at him and answered, “Yep, I am defnitly that.”
Hunter took his shot and settled back in his seat. “God, Zane, what were you thinking, and what do you mean you’re in love with her? Please tell me that’s the booze talking.”
“I couldn’t stay away, man. Trust me, I tried.”
“Okay, so what happened to get you here…like this?” he pointed to the liquor bottle.
“Sally happened,” I sighed.<
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Hunter flinched, and mouthed, “Oh.” We sat there in awkward silence until Hunter couldn’t stand it any longer. “So Cathryn caught you banging Sally?” he finally asked. His words hit a nerve.
“What? No! Is that what everyone thinks of me, that I’m a hertless prick?”
“Don’t you mean heartless?” he asked.
“Don’t change the subject, Hunter. Is that what you all think?”
“No, well, kind of, I mean…yeah,” he shrugged. “You’re the man. Blake and I wish we could be more like you,” he confessed. “I mean, sex is just sex for you. You don’t get attached, you never play games and you certainly don’t fall in love.”
He had it all wrong. My life was empty before Cathryn. I just didn’t know it until now. “My life was shit before Cathryn, Hunter. She makes everything worth it, and now I’ve gone and meshed it all up.”
“Messed,” he corrected.
“That’s what I said!”
“How did you mess it all up?”
“I told her to stay and believe in me or get the fuck out.”