by Caroline Lee
Copyright © 2017, Caroline Lee
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First edition: 2017
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Contents
Allison and Joshua
Charley and Tristan
The Redferns
Sadie and Shawn
Other works by Caroline Lee
River’s End Ranch:
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Christmas Catch-Up
River’s End Ranch
Christmas Epilogues
(Book 39)
Dedication:
For the mothers.
And those who never wanted to be mothers.
And those who wanted to be mothers, but found other ways to share their love.
Thank you.
Allison and Joshua
(Midwife’s Marvel)
“I hate you! You’re not my real mother!”
Allison’s twelve-year-old daughter stomped out of the living room, and they all heard the slam of the girl’s bedroom door.
When Allison glanced at her husband, Joshua, it was to see a wince he hadn’t quite managed to soothe away. She kept her normal serene expression locked in place, because Colin—their eight year old—was tucked up under his dad’s arm, and was looking worried enough.
The boy had had enough to be worried about in his short life, Lord knows, and his new parents had vowed he wouldn’t find anything to worry about here in their home.
But now he was glancing anxiously between his sister’s retreating back and Allison’s face. “She didn’t mean it!” he finally blurted. “She really does love you, we both do. She’s just…”
Allison sighed, hating that Colin was so troubled. “She’s a teenager.” She shared a sad smile with Joshua. “Don’t worry. Dad and I have discussed it.”
The mention of “Dad” calmed Colin, as it always did. He and Joshua had a special bond, built of a mutual love of rocket ships and space and reading science fiction together. That bond had helped Colin settle into his new life much easier than his sister.
Joshua offered another gentle smile. “But it’s Christmas Eve.”
What he didn’t say was “Yeah, but of all the days to let her stew in her own room and wait for her to understand her feelings because she’s disappointed she’s not getting a smartphone like her friends…this isn’t it.” He didn’t have to, because Allison saw it in his eyes, and agreed.
“I’ll go check on the popcorn,” she called on her way out the door.
But instead of turning towards the kitchen, she headed down the hall to the bedrooms in their quaint ranch-style house. As agreed, she made sure to knock on the door of her daughter’s room.
“Go away.”
“Nellie, please let me in. It’s Christmas Eve.”
A pause. Then: “Fine.”
Once inside the room—plastered in posters of boy bands she’d never heard of before Nellie came into her life—Allison sat on her daughter’s bed and stretched a hesitant hand over the girl’s hair. Nellie was lying on her stomach, her head turned towards the wall, buried in a pillow. At least she wasn’t actively crying.
“Honey, I’m sorry you don’t like our decision, but we’re not going to change it. Your father—“
She bit down on the word. Unlike her brother, Nellie had yet to fully accept them as her parents, no matter how much they loved one another.
“Joshua and I both feel that you’re too young to have a smartphone. Our decision is that if you can show us you’re mature enough to handle the responsibility and rules that come with owning one, we’ll consider it when you turn thirteen.”
Nellie knew this—they’d been over it enough times—but maybe she’d been hoping for a Christmas miracle or something when she’d asked yet again that evening, just as they were settling in for a movie.
When she didn’t respond, Allison sighed and stroked the girl’s long black hair, so like her own. “You know, it’s not easy suddenly becoming a mom. I’ve watched so many little girls being born, being handed to their mothers, seeing the look of joy on those mothers’ faces… But I didn’t think it would ever happen to me. I’m a midwife—it didn’t occur to me that I could become a mother, without having to go through pregnancy and childbirth, and then infancy and toddlerhood and losing teeth and learning to ride bikes and all that. But suddenly I am a mother, to the most wonderful little girl.” She sighed again. “And I’m sorry if I don’t want you to grow up too fast. If I want to enjoy you being a little girl for just a little while longer, because I didn’t get to love you when you were really little.”
Nellie still didn’t respond, but she did grunt a little and move her hair out of her way—without rolling over—so Allison could reach her back to rub it. Her heart lightening a little, Allison did, pleased that there was still something she could do correctly.
“When we stood in front of that judge, Joshua and I promised to love and respect you. But we asked the same from you. You promised to love and respect us, like a family should.”
Finally, Nellie rolled over, and buried her face in Allison’s side. “I do love you.” Her words were muffled. “Please don’t send me away.”
Allison’s heart clenched. “Oh, honey.” She leaned over as well as she could to awkwardly wrap her arms around the girl. “You’re my daughter. I could never send you away! All mothers and daughters fight sometimes, and I remember how rough it is being a teenaged girl.” She squeezed extra tight. “I love you, and I want you to know that whatever happens in the coming years—no matter how many fights we get into over smartphones or boyfriends or makeup or whatever—I’m always going to love you. And respect you.”
Sniffing, Nellie raised her head, and Allison was pleased to see she wasn’t crying. Still, the girl’s smile was a little watery when she teased, “Boyfriends? Eww.”
Allison tightened her hold on her little girl. “Can I get that in writing? You know, for in a few years?”
“Knock-knock!” came the call from the doorway.
“Daaaad,” Colin moaned. “You’re not supposed to say ‘knock-knock.’ Just knock!”
“The door was open,” Joshua mock-whispered to the boy. “I thought it would be weird to knock.”
“You’re weird,” Colin retorted.
Nellie rolled her eyes. “What is this, a party?”
Her brother grinned and took that as an invitation to enter, running across the room and jumping onto the bed. Unfortunately, he landed on top of his sister, who let out a big whuff, but didn’t shove the boy off. Instead, she leaned and twisted enough to wrap her arm around her brother and squeeze him. The fact that the two kids were really affectionate with each other always made Allison smile, and tonight was no exception.
Joshua followed the boy across the room, and perched beside Allison on the edge of the bed. He reached over to take her hand, his brown eyes behind his glasses silently asking if everything was alright. S
till smiling, Allison nodded and tightened her grip on his fingers.
Parenting wasn’t easy—especially not when it came to teenaged girls—but Allison was blessed beyond measure when she’d teamed up with Joshua for this adventure. Last Christmas she never would’ve thought she’d be spending this year’s holiday with her two children and her husband—the loves of her life.
Joshua lifted Allison’s hand to his lips. “Merry Christmas, sweetheart.”
“Merry Christmas, Mom and Dad,” Colin quipped from his position, half-laying on his sister with his neck in a headlock.
“Merry Christmas, honey. I love you all very much,” she replied, wondering if his sister would ever show as much affection to her new parents.
But Nellie gave her the best present of all. The girl’s smile was still a little wobbly when she looked up at Allison with eyes so like her own, and said the word Allison had been hoping to hear.
“I love you too, Mom.”
Charley and Tristan
(Trusting Tristan)
“You planning on calling your Dad or Bradley tonight?” Tristan asked as they left the church with the rest of the crowd, on the way to the ranch’s tree-lighting ceremony.
The question startled Charley so much she stopped walking, but quickly recovered and shook her head. “No, and I can’t imagine they’re expecting it.” Christmas dinner tomorrow will be bad enough. “We don’t really have Christmas Eve traditions, you know?”
Her fiancé grunted, but took her hand in his. She was glad for his warmth as the December air filled her lungs. This was the nicest Christmas Eve tradition she could imagine; in her pocket she held the ornaments she and Tristan had just exchanged, and they’d wait their turn to hang them on the ancient tree in the center of the ranch. Here at River’s End Ranch, she was connected to something, she belonged. She had a family who accepted and loved her.
Just like Tristan.
Speaking of family… “Have you considered calling your father tomorrow?” she hesitantly asked.
Beside her, she felt him shrug.
“Been thinking about it, actually.”
“Really?”
With Tristan’s dad in prison, he hadn’t spoken to the man in years. And after what his family had done to him, Charley didn’t blame him, and would never push him. Still, this was the season for forgiveness, and all that.
“Yeah.” He smiled crookedly. “But I’m not sure yet.”
She nodded knowingly. “I get it.” Neither of them had a healthy relationship with their fathers.
Maybe he was thinking along the same lines, because later, when they were watching the guests chatting and waiting their turns around the tree, Tristan said, “You know, if you and I ever have kids, I swear I’m going to be a better father than ours were to us. I’m going to teach them how to make good choices, and then I’m going to let them make those choices on their own. I’m not going to push my beliefs on them, or force them to follow my footsteps. I’m not—what?”
He must’ve just noticed her standing there with her mouth open. Charley snapped it closed, then shook herself again. “Nothing. It’s just—“ Wow. “This is the first time you’ve ever mentioned wanting to have kids. With me, I mean.”
It was his turn to look uncomfortable. “Oh.” His hands were jammed in the pockets of his leather coat now, and he looked at the ground. “Sorry. But…” His gaze flicked up to hers, then away. “But it’s true. I want to be a dad someday. I mean, if you’re up for it.”
Wow. Charley wasn’t sure how to answer him. Wasn’t sure how to explain…
“That is, assuming you want kids.”
Nothing for it, but to jump right in. “I don’t know.” She shrugged. “I don’t dislike kids, but I just don’t think…” Another shrug. “I’m not real feminine, you know?” She scuffed her black steel-toed boots in the packed snow. “I don’t know anything about being a mom. I can’t imagine I’d make a very good one.”
Tristan startled a squeak out of her when he grabbed her shoulders and twisted her to face him.
“You’re a total warrior, Charley, but that doesn’t mean you’re not a woman.”
He kissed her, as if he was proving a point, but she didn’t mind one bit. His kisses always made her toes curl.
“You’re an incredible woman, and you’re going to make an incredible mother, if you want to be.” Lightly, he traced the back of one gloved finger down her cheek. “Mothering isn’t something everyone’s born to do, and nobody gets a manual, but you’re smart and capable and totally amazing. You’d be great at it, even if we were totally making it up as we went along.”
He always knew exactly what to say, didn’t he? Charley smiled shyly up at him, not caring at all that their breaths were frosting in the cold air, or that they were surrounded by a hundred guests.
“I love you, Tristan.”
“I love you too, Charley. Merry Christmas.”
She cleared her throat. “So, kids, huh? That seems…sudden.”
His arms wrapped around her. “I dunno. Christmas seemed like a good time to bring it up.”
“It’s just…most couples get married first.”
He stiffened, and she hid her wince. They’d been unofficially engaged since the summer, and not once had either brought up the “M” word. Tristan was still settling into normal life; once his arm had healed, he'd taken on more hours at the ranch, and was able to afford an apartment in town. They were together all the time, but it wasn’t like being married. At least, she had to assume, based on her observations of all the married couples around here…
“Sorry, Charley.” Tristan sighed. “I didn’t want to push you.”
What? “You didn’t want to push me? You’re the one who’s been totally reinventing himself!”
He shrugged. “Yeah, but I’m still…you know.” His hold loosened, and he looked away. “I’m just an ex-con, and you’re…”
Suddenly, it all clicked. “This again?” She stepped back and jabbed a finger in his chest. “This is about you thinking you’re not worthy enough, isn’t it? Well, that’s stupid, Tristan Quarles! I would think after the last few months, you would’ve gotten in through your thick head. I love you. I want to be married to you. I would be lucky to be married to you! This whole ‘you not being worthy’ thing is the dumbest—”
She bit her words off when his hand wrapped around her finger, and his other pulled her closer again.
“You sure about that, Charley?” he asked softly, staring down at her with those gorgeous hazel eyes. “You want to be married to me?”
“I proposed to you, remember?”
“Well, alright then.” He nodded slowly, and his lips curved into a smile. “How about Tuesday?”
“Tuesday?”
“Marry me on Tuesday. We can tell your dad and Bradley about it tomorrow, and give them a stroke. Then we can call my dad out of the blue and tell him I’m marrying a cop—”
“Ex-cop.”
“—then we go to the courthouse on Tuesday and get married.”
Charley pretended to consider it. “Hmmm. Will you take me on a honeymoon next weekend?”
He chuckled. “You can take me on a honeymoon, sweetheart.”
“Deal!”
And when he kissed her, the lights on the tree behind them lit up. The crowd cheered, but Charley was already cheering wildly inside. Soon she’d be a wife…
And maybe, someday, if she wanted…a mother.
The Redferns
Ellie and Will (Whitewater Wooing)
Dink and Jace (Wild West Wedding)
Belle and Elf (Blacksmith’s Beauty)
The sound of laughter was coming from the kitchen when Ellie and Will returned from their walk. They’d used Indy needing exercise as an excuse to get out of the house, but really, any chance to spend some time together alone—Indy didn’t count—was to be cherished.
Since little Reddy’s birth back in August, Ellie could feel her relationship with her husband changing.
Not in a bad way, just different. They were each no longer the most important person in the other’s life, and she found herself snapping at him when she was tired or hungry or stressed. Muz assured her it was natural, and something all couples went through when they began having kids. The trick, she said, was to make sure her partner really was that: a partner on the same team.
Because even though Ellie and Will’s relationship had shifted, they were still very much in love. Ellie knew there was no one she’d rather spend her life with, and she cherished these moments she got to spend alone with him, breathing in the pure, crisp Idaho air she’d fallen in love with thanks to him.
Luckily, they were surrounded by about a million family members who were always willing to give them the chance to be alone. The extended Weston clan could always be counted on to watch little Reddy—Wade’s namesake, actually—and he really seemed to adore being around his cousins, who were only a few months older than him. On Ellie’s side of the family, Reddy was the first grandchild—hence the one to carry her maiden name of Redfern—and thus was doted upon shamelessly. With Ellie’s little sister and older brother both marrying and settling at River’s End Ranch, Muz and Dad had moved to Riston as well.
And today, December 24th, they were all gathered in Ellie and Will’s home.
They stopped in the foyer for a kiss, and Ellie leaned against her husband’s chest, listening to the sound of his heart and their son’s laughter from the kitchen. “I suppose I should go see what they’re up to.”
“Hmmm,” Will agreed. “And I left Jace and your father in the living room debating the possible long-term benefits of investing in graham crackers.”
“Really?”
“Jace called it a mental exercise, but I think Dad was being serious.”