by Dahlia Lu
“Why are you helping me?” she questioned a second time, with twice the skepticism. “I thought you demons hated me.”
“The demons hated the choices Lucifer made for you. There is a difference. And I’m helping you because I want to,” he clarified.
“I don’t understand.” She paused from walking and turned to face him. It was the first time she noticed the color of his eyes, green like the leaves of spring. His incredibly shiny, straight red hair was tide back neatly. “What choices did Lucifer made for me?”
“For one, he fed you his blood,”
“I know how that affected me, but why does it matter to you?”
“In order to keep you alive, Lucifer had forsaken his throne to live among the humans. In plain terms, how would a dog feel if he’d been abandoned by his master?”
“I understand the concept, but a dog?”
He chuckled. “We are simpler than humans in many ways. We are not motivated by greed or other worldly possessions. We are motivated by a purpose to keep us fulfilled. Serving our master gives us a sense of worth, and we take pride in that. If our master abandons us, we feel stripped of purpose. Do you know what it’s like to live an eternity with no purpose? We might as well be rocks and stones on the side of the road. To us, Kali, there is no worse crime.”
“But…” Kali tried to recall the events from her memories. “Even before that, you demons tried to kill me!”
“Some of the demons disliked you, but they didn’t want you dead. You were a threat, but they couldn’t do anything that would displease their master. Like I said before, not all of us are like Soren.”
“Why did Soren plot against me?”
“We don’t know for sure. In order to understand his motives, you must know who he was. The three demon lords and Lucifer were created in the first order of angels. In a sense, we are brothers. We share a connection stronger than any, and the demon lords would do anything for him. They had pledged him their eternal loyalty. Soren was the most devoted of the three, and the most protective as well. He would go to any length to entertain our bored master. I suppose he felt jealous, but we will never know for sure, will we?”
“I suppose not.”
“I, for one, like you,” he said with a smile.
“You do?”
“We may not agree on the matter, but we cannot deny that you make him happy. He was always bored with everything. Purposeless, I should say. There was no point in anything until you. He would do everything in his power to ensure your safety and happiness. For that, I must commend you on your feat.”
They were quiet the rest of the way to the city. When they arrived, she felt tension in the atmosphere. They didn’t hide this time, but stood their ground with eyes fixed on her. Kali straightened her shoulders and held her chin up high as she walked past the demons. She couldn’t look weak to them now. She came here with a mission, and she wouldn’t allow anyone to stop her before she saw it through.
Strangely, they let her pass. She didn’t realize she had held her breath until she exhaled a large amount of air. Without looking back, she walked another half a mile to the base of the floating castle. This was a problem. There was no way she can climb it. Even if she could trace herself up there, she may fall onto the blackthorns.
“Depressing thought, isn’t it?” The demon next to her said. “You still need my help in the end.”
“Quite depressing,” she agreed. “Please help me get up there.”
A satisfied smile appeared on his face. He swept her up off her feet, bent down, and leaped straight into the air. He landed on the castle’s grounds as he lowered her to her feet. Kali brushed her hair away from her face and tried to regain her balance. Once her heartbeat calmed a little, she turned to thank him, but he was already gone. The castle’s gate was already opening for her.
Kali entered the castle and walked through the familiar hallways into the throne room. Lucifer sat at his rightful place, where she’d expected him to be. His face was calm, still, and expressionless when he saw her. Her eyes trailed to the left when she heard a distracting tapping noise, and there she saw her son trapped in a clear blue sphere. The words that came out of his mouth were inaudible.
“Release our son this instant!” she demanded. As she wished, the sphere faded away and Trent landed on the ground. He reached out to her immediately and wrapped his arms around her.
“It is really you, Mother?” he asked and held her tighter. “I thought I’d lost you again.”
“I’m fine, Trent. I’m sorry it took me so long to get here.”
“It didn’t matter as long as you’re still yourself,” he said as he slowly released her. “I want to stay with you longer, Mother, but I have to go find my brother…sister…”
He was struggling with the right thing to say. “My other self. I have to find my other self.”
“What do you mean?” Her violet eyes were confused.
“I don’t have time to explain,” he shook his head, “and I don’t want to worry you. Everything will be fine, I promise. Please excuse me,” he placed a kiss on her cheek, and sank into the summoning circle that had just appeared.
She was left alone with Lucifer.
“I thought you’d be happier to see me,” she said to him.
“You deliberately disobeyed me,” he finally spoke in a weary tone.
“And I’m sorry, Lucifer, I really am,” she apologized. “But my consequences are my own. Why must you take it out on innocent people? Do you realize what you’ve done?”
“I am fully aware,” he nodded.
“Please stop whatever it is that you are doing.” She came to his side and knelt. She placed her hands on his lap and looked up at him with pleading eyes. “Make everything normal again.”
“You have no right to make demands of me, Kali,” he said coldly. “I had warned you of this. You consciously disregard my one and only request, so now we must all live with the penalties.”
“You are being unreasonable!” she accused. “And just because I did one thing against your will! You’re doing this to torture me!”
“Do you think I am some sort of fiend who takes pleasure from making you cry?” He caressed her face and guided her to meet his blue eyes. “Even if I were a normal man, I would not be able to stand idly by after what they did to you. If you think that I am unreasonable and only doing this to torture you, then so be it. My reasons are my own.”
“At least explain yourself,” she begged with heavy tears blurring her eyes. “I don’t want to hate you, Lucifer. At least give me a reason why. Please let me see what you see.”
“You will never be able to see it.”
“That’s condescending, Lucifer.”
“You are in every way my equal.”
“Then why won’t I be able to understand what you see, Lucifer?” she asked. When he did not reply, she shook his knee. “What if I ask a favor of you? What if I ask, no, beg you to save my world? Would you do it for me, Lucifer?”
Suddenly a faint smile tugged on the corner of his lips. He took her hand and placed it over his heart. “I will give you a choice. If you are able to leave the world outside of this realm, you will have everything here with me. All of Hell will be at your disposal to indulge your every whim. If you find that unsatisfactory, then I will make a bargain with you, Kali. I can save this precious world of yours, but in return, I will take away something close to your heart. It may be important to you, it may not be, and it doesn’t matter. You will be able to understand. You will be able to see what I see, but at a price.”
“You can stop all of this?”
“Yes,” he confirmed.
“Please let it not be Trent.”
“I assure you that our son will not be part of our deal.”
“Then I have nothing to lose, Lucifer,” she said after a moment of searching. “I have nothing more you can take.”
“Is that so…” he said underneath his breath. “Is this what you truly wish?”
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br /> “Yes,” she replied. “Please help me save my world.”
“This would make you happy?”
Even her violet eyes nodded with her.
He traced toward the double door then turned slightly back. “You will always have more to lose, Kali. Let’s just hope what I take from you is not at all important.”
And with those words, he walked down the hallway. His footsteps against the marble floor echoed in her head. She felt a jolt of panic, but instead of chasing after him, she lowered her head.
“I have nothing left to lose,” she convinced herself.
Chapter 23: Our Love
She sat by the window, resting her head on her forearm. Her eyes wandered into the distance beyond the realm of Hell. Sometimes she could see a demon passing by, sparing her a glance, and then moving on his or her way. Even without Lucifer to protect her, they had no intention of harming her. They were unfriendly, perhaps, but not hostile.
Kali switched forearms and rested her head on the other side. It must have been at least three days since she returned to her so-called home. She couldn’t know for sure, but she could estimate based on her own judgment. And Lucifer had been gone just as long.
Lucifer could fulfill his part of the bargain. She had no doubt that he would. The part that had been troubling her was that something close to her heart would be taken away. Besides her son and Chevalier, who had already cut all ties with her, she wondered if anything else in this world could be of any importance to her. Everything she owned already belonged to him.
She was uncertain if she could ever truly understand Lucifer. The fact that she knew so little about him after six years of being with him was a slap in the face, but it was not like he was the type to have casual conversation. He said very little and that only when necessary. He may appear cold and uncaring, but had his moments now and then when he could be exceptionally sweet to her. He showered her with gifts frequently. And if she didn’t like them, he wandered off to find something else to please her, even when the extra rooms in the house were already filled. He reminded her of the dragons in fairy tales that liked to collect endless treasure. She laughed at the thought.
He was not a particularly good father. He hadn’t played with the boy or indulged him in other areas where a father should indulge his son. He was formal to Trent, maybe even distant, and the boy knew it, too. He had asked permission for everything, even things little boys shouldn’t ask permission for, like climbing on his parents’ bed. He acted accordingly if Lucifer granted his request. Now the boy had grown up uncannily like him.
She suddenly felt guilty for disobeying him, because the fact of the matter was, he was right. Since she had been with him, this was his first and only request for her. How quickly and easily she had dismissed it. Maybe he felt she didn’t trust his judgment. Or maybe he felt like his words meant nothing to her. If that was what he thought then he may be right again. At least, that was how she had behaved. She let out a frustrated groan, stood up and turned away from the windows. She was spoiled and didn’t even know it.
“Yes, yes, you are,” a familiar voice agreed. When she turned back, that same demon with the fiery hair and green eyes was sitting by the window.
“Stay out of my head!” she warned.
“I don’t need to read your mind to know what you are thinking, and besides, that is one of the exceptions,” he said as he leaned back against the frame. “You must be feeling guilty for your actions. If you have any conscience, you should.”
“I didn’t ask for your opinion.”
“I was not supposed to interfere, but someone should do him justice.” The demon was referring to Lucifer. “If you think that he treats everyone with the same patience and tolerance he reserved for you, then you are sadly mistaken.
“You are angry with me today,” she pointed out when she heard the tone of his voice.
“Yes, I am,” he admitted. “I am tired of you two testing each other. One of the reasons you are not well-liked among the demons is because you frequently pushed Lucifer to make dreadful decisions for your sake.”
“He is the one testing me!” she accused. Her finger pointed to the side of the room as if he were standing here.
“Why do you lie to yourself?” the demon asked. “You are the one testing him. You want to know the truth about Lucifer and you want to know the limit of his love for you. That was the reason you did not want Chevalier to reveal your identity to Lucifer sooner.”
“You’re wrong!” she retorted. “I refused because I was hurt and angry that he was happy with another woman!”
“You were testing him.” His statement did not change. “You were so preoccupied with your own feelings and pride that you did not think about how your choice would affect him. It was always about you.”
“No!” she denied his accusations with a sob. “You don’t know what I felt, so don’t you dare pass judgment on me!”
“You were expecting him to doubt you.” The demon stood up and stepped forward. “Humans change with time, Kali, they always do. What if your personality did change after your resurrection? What if parts of you were still missing? Even if he is Lucifer, he is still a man. You clearly do not know how much that man loves you. You tested him again and again, and now he’s going to prove it. Kali, if you do not truly know your place in his heart, then you would not be able to fathom the lengths he will go to grant your wishes.”
“What are you talking out?” she inquired.
“You requested that he save your world.”
“It should be an easy task for him,” she quickly replied.
“If you were concerned about him, you would have known by his weary expression that he was already exhausted. You stumbled upon his slumber and awakened him ahead of his time, five thousand years to be exact, and you died from blood loss in the process. He took pity on your untimely death and granted you a second chance at life. Primarily, I believe he did so out of curiosity. Of course, everything that goes against the course of nature will come with a price. When Soren wanted you and your child dead, Lucifer fed you his blood. Such things are taboo and should never happen. Humans were never supposed to live beyond their lifespan. In order to sustain yourself, you feed off his energy. When Arvin took you to Hell and your soul was scattered over the globe, he traveled across the earth to summon pieces of your soul, one by one. Once he thought he had found all of you, he broke the laws again and resurrected you. Just when I thought he knew his limits, you forced him into enough rage that he wanted to destroy the human world, and with several pleading words from your pretty lips, you requested him to save it.”
She frantically searched her memories for an explanation. “Lucifer made a bargain with me,” she stuttered, “I thought he was angry with me. If he was already exhausted, then why did he make that bargain? Why did he agree to grant my wish? Something close to my heart…”
At the shocking realization, she sank to the floor. “Something dear to my heart…he couldn’t mean…could he?”
“He gave you a choice, Kali. He was testing you and you failed.” The demon knelt down next to her. “You said to him, I have nothing to lose, Lucifer. I have nothing more you can take. And he said very softly…is that so? When I heard him say that, I felt my heart crumble along with his.”
“You’re lying to me!” she cried. “He would never do something like that!’
“Wouldn’t he?” he whispered into her ear. “How would you know that? Was it worth it, Kali? You don’t even know what you truly want.”
“I want my world to stay the same…”
“Wrong!” he retorted. “You are a hypocrite and a liar! You wanted to save this world because you saw people dying and because you thought it was the right thing to do. You pitied them for the loss of their lives, but they would not do the same for you. They have scorned you, stepped on you, and cast you out. Perhaps you have lived in such bliss the five years you were awake that you had forgotten how it felt to live among them. Remember be
gging them and crying for help? Remember their cold, rejecting eyes? How about how your own flesh and blood grandmother treated you? Admit it Kali, you don’t want your world to stay the same cold and desolate place.”
“There are innocent people.” She tried to find a reason to defend herself. “The children…”
“They will grow up in a society that will force them to ignore their consciences for precious minutes of the day. Their blood will run cold, and will be no different from the ones walking your streets now. Innocents, as you put it, only exist in your head. But I will not argue with you in such a matter. I am only here to ask you, was it worth sacrificing the two men you love, to save the same world they had tried so desperately to protect you from? Is that what you truly want?”
“What will happen to Lucifer?” she questioned as she grabbed a hold of his arm. “How can I find him?”
“To do what, exactly?” The demon pulled his arm back and stood up. “You have made your choice, and Lucifer will see it through. He will drive himself into complete exhaustion and reenter his slumber. The demons will wait patiently for him, like they’ve always done. The important question is what will happen to you? You do not have an instinct to hide you, and you cannot die. You will live in waiting, regretting what you once had. You will live in anticipating hope that when he wakes again, his heart will still be yours. Ten thousand years of waiting can be Hell.”
He chuckled at his own humor.
“I’ve had enough of your mockery!” she shouted at him. “Either you help me find him or you don’t!”
“You think I’m mocking you, but I really am not,” the demon said. “I am forcing you to see the truth. Sometimes, the cause may not be worth the sacrifices. If you want to be a heroine, then you must accept the consequences.”
“I do not want to be a heroine!”
“Then be selfish!” he retorted. “Know what is important to you and hold on to it! Be selfish and don’t give a damn about those soulless people! They are not worth any of your so-called sacrifices, because the only ones who will be suffering are the people who love you!”