by K. C. Wells
Once they were out in the cold evening air, Jon cleared his throat. “Just so we’re clear? I don’t have a headache.”
“Fine. I’m still gonna drive in case Del is watchin’ us out the window.” Chaz held out his hand. “Keys?”
Jon handed them over with a sigh. “I’m not gonna win, am I?” They got into the truck and buckled up.
Chaz switched on the engine. “Now tell me what’s been botherin’ you. ’Cause Del was right. You’ve been awful quiet. And if it’s not a hangover…” It could have been Jon’s concern for Kendis, but that didn’t feel quite right. Something had plainly been bugging Jon all day.
Jon didn’t respond right away. Chaz drove through the dark lanes, the road twisting and turning before them. Eventually Chaz caught Jon’s soft sigh.
“I guess… I’m ashamed.”
Chaz blinked. “What of?”
“How I behaved last night. All that stuff I came out with? I don’t usually do that.”
Chaz chuckled. “You think I didn’t know that was the booze talkin’? What man doesn’t let his mouth run off when he’s had a few too many?” Still, some of the things Jon had said had Chaz wondering what shit had happened to Jon. Because it was plain something had happened in the past.
Something that lingered, in Jon’s mind at least.
He shut up, and they drove the rest of the way in silence. When they got to the house, Chaz pulled onto the driveway, a heavy feeling in his stomach when the headlights splashed over a figure huddled by the front door.
Fuck. “It’s Kendis.”
“What’s he doin’ here? He must be freezin’ his ass off.” Jon was out of the truck in a heartbeat, running toward the house. “Hey,” he called out. “How long have you been sittin’ there?”
“C-couple of hours.” Kendis sat on the step, his arms wrapped around his knees that he’d drawn up to his chest.
Chaz switched off the engine and climbed out of the truck. “What’s happened?” He hurried over to them.
“That can wait.” Jon fumbled in his pocket for his keys. “Let’s get him inside and get a fire started.” He hauled Kendis to his feet, then cupped his cheek. “Fuck. You’re half frozen.”
“’S’not that c-cold,” Kendis protested.
Chaz snorted. “Your teeth don’t seem to agree with you.” He waited while Jon helped Kendis into the house, following behind, his heart racing.
What in the hell is going on?
Jon got Chaz building a fire, while he went in search of a comforter. When he got back to the living room, Kendis was kneeling on the rug in front of the fire, shaking.
Jon draped the comforter around him until he was snuggled up in it. “Coffee or hot chocolate?”
Kendis managed a smile. “Do you have to ask?”
Jon stroked his head. “Hot chocolate for three, coming up.” He hurried into the kitchen. “Have you eaten?”
He caught Kendis’s chuckle. “I think Momma forgot there was just the two of us. I am stuffed.”
“You an’ me both,” Chaz said with a snicker.
Despite his concerns, Jon guffawed. “You? What’s wrong? Are you and your tape worm not on speakin’ terms or something?”
“Shut up an’ make the damn chocolate,” Chaz hollered. Kendis chuckled, and Jon’s tension eased a little.
He made what was probably the fastest hot chocolate of his entire life. He carefully carried the three mugs into the living room, relieved to see Kendis had stopped shaking. Jon knelt in front of him and handed him a mug.
Kendis eased his hands out from beneath the comforter and curled them around it. “Thanks.” When Chaz had his mug, Jon grabbed his own and sipped the sweet liquid. He wasn’t going to push; he knew Kendis would tell them eventually.
Chaz, however, was not as patient as Jon.
“Wanna tell us why you’re here an’ not with your momma?” Chaz’s eyes narrowed. “Does she know where you are?”
“She will when she wakes up. She took a nap around four-thirty. I wrote her a note, telling her I was going to see a friend, and got the hell outta there.” He drank a little of the hot chocolate. “This is good.”
“We’ve been so worried.” Jon kept his voice low. “Why haven’t we heard from you today?”
“Or yesterday,” Chaz added. He joined them on the rug, sitting beside Kendis, leaning against him.
Kendis arched his eyebrows. “I sent texts yesterday.”
Chaz huffed. “Someone sent texts, sure, but it wasn’t you.” When Kendis stared at him, he shrugged. “I know how you sound. There was something… missing. Like your heart wasn’t in it.”
Kendis shook his head slowly. “Wow. Yeah, you nailed it.” He took another drink. “I guess I really didn’t feel like talking much.”
“And how about now?” Jon asked. “Can you tell us what’s wrong?”
Kendis’s shoulders hunched over, and he stared into the fire. “Momma’s decided she’s going back to Louisiana after New Year’s.”
Chaz’s breathing hitched. “Oh. Oh God. Things are really that bad for her?”
Kendis nodded, his gaze briefly flickering toward Jon. “Apparently.”
Jon was starting to get a very bad feeling about this. “Kendis? Where do you figure in your momma’s plans?” Kendis’s eyes widened and his mouth fell open, and Jon’s heart sank. “She’s taking you with her, isn’t she?” That was the only explanation for the sudden radio silence.
Kendis didn’t want to go.
“But… you can’t….” Chaz gazed at him in obvious horror.
“Do you wanna tell her that? Because she sure didn’t listen to me when I told her I didn’t wanna go.” Kendis swallowed hard. “Except that isn’t quite true. She expects me to be a man and make decisions for myself. She wouldn’t tell me I was goin’ with her, an’ she might question my decision to stay, but the plain truth of the matter is, I can’t stay here. I can’t afford to stay.”
Jon put down his mug and opened his arms wide. “Come here.”
Kendis didn’t hesitate. He put down his own mug, cast off the comforter, and closed the distance between them with a single lurch into Jon’s arms. Jon held him tightly, Kendis’s cheek pressed against his. “We’re gonna get you through this somehow,” Jon whispered. Of that, he had no doubt, because no fucking way was he gonna let Kendis suffer like this. Not when seeing him so unhappy ripped Jon’s heart right out of him.
Jon glanced across at Chaz, who was staring at the two of them, his eyes damp. His heart had to be breaking too. He doesn’t wanna lose Kendis.
Hell, Jon didn’t want to lose Kendis either.
Kendis pulled back a little to look Jon in the eye. “You’ve been awesome. You found me a job. You made me feel at home here. I can’t thank you enough for that. But I think this might be beyond you.”
At home….
“This isn’t fair,” Chaz croaked. “I don’t wanna lose you, not when I only just found you.”
“An’ you think I don’t feel the same way?” Kendis looked miserable as fuck.
Jon’s pulse raced, and there was a lightness in his chest. “You’re not gonna lose each other.” When Kendis regarded him quizzically, he took a deep breath. “Move in here, with us.” Christ, his heart was hammering.
He could’ve heard a pin drop in the silence that followed.
Kendis gaped at him, mouth open. Chaz stared at him incredulously.
“Well, why not? It’s the only solution.” At least, it was to Jon’s way of thinking.
“You… you don’t have the room,” Kendis said at last. “This place only has two bedrooms, doesn’t it?”
Jon laughed. “Are you seriously gonna sit there an’ say that with a straight face? When all three of us know you’d never spend a night in your own bed, if you had one. You’d be in Chaz’s room. Hell, you’ve already spent two of the last four nights here. And at least you’d have a room to go to if you two wanna… you know…”
Kendis erupted into a
coughing fit, and Chaz snickered.
Jon steered the conversation back onto safer ground. “You can tell your momma you’ve got a place to live. If she’s concerned, she can come an’ talk to me, and check me and the place out. Unless you think she’ll blow a gasket at the thought of you two sharing a room.”
Kendis gazed at Jon with wide eyes. “You’re serious.”
“Of course I’m serious. I said I’d get you through this. Well, this is the obvious solution.”
“Apart from one thing,” Chaz interjected.
“And what’s that?”
Chaz gaped at him. “No way can we sleep every night in that bed. It’s too fuckin’ small.”
Jon rolled his eyes. “To quote you—Duh. I’ll buy you a bigger bed. Hell, we’ll go shopping for it tomorrow.” He grinned. “Happy now?”
Before Chaz could reply, Jon had his arms full of an obviously ecstatic Kendis.
“You sweet, beautiful man.” He kissed Jon exuberantly on the cheek, and then froze, his gaze locked on Jon’s, his eyes wide, his breathing quickening.
What the fuck? Jon’s scalp prickled and his heartbeat raced as Kendis moved closer, as slow as molasses in winter, until their lips met in a soft kiss. Jon stiffened, blood pounding in his ears, conscious of Kendis’s hands on his face, so fucking gentle, Kendis’s lips brushing against his, not relenting for a second.
Until he stopped, and Jon prayed that wasn’t it, they weren’t done, because he hadn’t dared return Kendis’s kisses for fear that once he started, he’d never stop.
Kendis met Jon’s gaze. “You want this.”
Dear God, he did. But how does he know that? “Yes,” he whispered.
Kendis smiled, and fuck, it was as if sunlight filled the room. “Me too. So kiss me.”
“Kiss him,” Chaz urged, moving closer. He cupped the back of Jon’s head, his eyes sparkling. “And then kiss me.”
Holy fuck.
Chapter Twenty-One
Jon’s head was spinning.
What. The. Fuck?
They can’t mean it.
Why in the hell would they say it?
Why the fuck would they want me? I mean, look at them. Look at me.
This makes no fucking sense.
Chaz chuckled. “Hey, Kendis? I think we broke Jon.”
Kendis kissed Jon on the lips, then smiled, his eyes shining. “That right? Have we broken you?”
“More like confused the fuck outta me.” Jon didn’t know what to say to them. The ground had just disappeared from under him, and it felt like he—and his sanity—were clinging to a ledge by his fingernails.
“It’s okay,” Kendis said softly. “It’s all right.”
Talk about role reversal. “Isn’t that supposed to be what I say?”
Chaz stroked his nape, sending shivers down Jon’s back. “You take care of us. Well, it’s our turn to take care of you.” And before Jon could come up with a reply, Chaz moved in to kiss him, shocking Jon all to hell when he licked across the seam of Jon’s lips.
“Let him in, Jon. It’s all right. We know you want this.”
Jon opened his mouth to let out a groan that came from somewhere deep within him. “But how?” How can they see me so clearly?
Chaz let out another chuckle. “You’re overthinking this. Now kiss me?” He caught Jon’s face between both hands and looked him in the eye. “Kiss me like you know you want to. Like we all know you want to.”
“Lord knows, we’ve wanted to kiss you for so long,” Kendis added, his voice a little husky.
And then Jon did break. The tears wouldn’t stop, and he didn’t try to hold them back. They’d been a long time coming.
Chaz made a choking sound, and then he and Kendis had their arms around him, comforting him, stroking him. Kendis caressed Jon’s cheek, kissing him there, with whispered words of ‘let it out, it’s okay.’
He clung to them, his vision blurring until he couldn’t see either of them clearly, and then Kendis wiped them away with a gentle hand. They kissed his face, his beard, his neck, they stroked his nape and the back of his head, and the intimate gestures did more than their words to assure him that for the first time since he was twenty-two, maybe—just maybe—it really was going to be okay.
Jon took a deep breath, struggling to get himself under control. “I don’t claim to understand any of this, but—”
“What’s to understand?” Chaz said with a smile. “It’s Christmas, isn’t it? Good things happen at Christmas.” He widened his eyes. “Lord, your present.” Then he lurched to his feet and dashed from the room.
Jon blinked, and Kendis laughed. “You’d better sit on the couch. You’re gonna need more space.” He stood and held out a hand to Jon, who took it, allowing Kendis to haul him to his feet. But Kendis didn’t move away from him. Instead, he put his hands on Jon’s chest and gazed into his eyes. “Remember in that restaurant, when I said for all that server knew, I might prefer older men?”
Jon swallowed, recalling his own response at the time.
“Well, I do like guys my own age.” Kendis smiled. “But I might also have a thing for older men.” He leaned in closer. “One older man in particular.”
Jon drew in a couple of calming breaths, then covered Kendis’s hands with his own. “Y’all need to slow down a little. This… none of this is easy for me, okay?” This has to be a dream.
“Give me a hand with this?”
Jon glanced toward the door, and gaped. “Dear God in heaven, tell me that’s not for me.” Chaz was holding the most enormous teddy bear.
Chaz grinned as he dropped the bear onto the couch. “A bear for a bear.”
Jon stilled. “That’s how you see me?”
“Are you kidding?” It was Chaz’s turn to become still. “You have no idea how you look, do you?”
“I’m nothing special,” Jon remonstrated.
Kendis’s breathing hitched. “You really believe that, don’t you?”
Jon wasn’t sure how much of this he could take. It was turning out to be the most surprising Christmas Day ever.
“I think we need to give Jon a little space,” Kendis said quietly. “I get the feeling we just turned his world upside down.”
Jon gave a quiet snort. “You have no idea.” Except that came out all wrong. “Let me try that again. I can’t begin to tell you what’s goin’ on in my head right now, because trust me, it’s a mess in there.” They chuckled. “Hearing you say these things…” He bit the bullet. “You said you’ve wanted to kiss me for a while. Well, right back atcha. But if you’re expectin’ me to just… accept it all just like that?” Christ, he was shaking. “You’re gonna have to give me a little time, okay? I’m sayin’ this now so you don’t get the wrong idea, an’ think that what you just declared didn’t mean anything to me, because Jesus!”
Chaz walked over to where Jon and Kendis stood. “It’s not like we’re goin’ anywhere,” he said softly. “You want time? That’s fine. It’s not gonna change how we feel about ya. And we do get it, honest. This has to be scary as fuck, right?”
“Oh, you got that right.” Except that left Jon with a dilemma. “I… I don’t know how to act around you, not now.”
“That’s easy.” Kendis smiled at him. “Just be how you’ve always been. How about we find a movie to watch, and we curl up on the couch together?”
Relief surged through him. “That sounds good.” He bit back a smile. “Does that include the bear?” His heartbeat was starting to climb down at last.
Chaz cackled. “He gets a chair all to himself. He’ll only hog all the popcorn if he sits with us.”
“There’s just one thing.” Kendis bit his lip. “Would it be okay if we…cuddled?”
That was enough to send warmth flooding through him. “I think I can stand a little cuddling,” Jon said with a smile. He might even manage a lot of cuddling. It was Christmas, right? Then Kendis’s face fell, and just like that, Jon knew the cuddling was going to be on hold for a wh
ile. “What’s wrong?” he asked quietly. Not that he didn’t have his suspicions.
“I want to stay, I really do, but—”
Jon nodded. “But you left your momma takin’ a nap a couple hours ago, it’s Christmas Day, and she’s likely to be a tad upset if you stay out all evening.”
Kendis gave him a grateful smile, visibly relieved. “Yeah. I’ll be back tomorrow, I promise but…” He sighed. “I need to talk to Momma. There’s a couple things we need to… discuss.”
“Am I one of them?” Chaz’s expression had switched to serious in a heartbeat. When Kendis nodded, Chaz squared his shoulders. “I’ll go with you.”
“No, you will not,” both Jon and Kendis intoned at the same time.
Kendis blinked, and then chuckled. “You’re looking out for me again,” he said to Jon. “Sweet man.” He leaned in and kissed Jon’s cheek, then focused his attention on Chaz. “Jon’s right. Now is not the time for me to be bringin’ you home to meet her. That is what you meant, isn’t it?” When Chaz nodded, Kendis cupped his cheek. “This conversation is gonna be hard enough. Okay?” To Jon’s ears, that last word was a soft plea.
Chaz gave a resigned shrug. “Okay. I guess.” Then he smiled. “But I will take you home. Fair enough?”
“Fair enough.”
Jon couldn’t help himself. He put his arms around them and kissed their foreheads. “I am so happy the pair of you found each other.” What he hadn’t counted on was them finding him.
Chaz went to retrieve Kendis’s jacket and his own.
“Are you okay?” Kendis’s eyes were full of concern. “’Cause you were really upset just now.”
There was no way Jon could even get close to explaining the source of those tears; he’d gotten caught up in a tangled web of emotions. “I think I’ll be okay,” he said at last. “And one day I’ll tell you why I am… like I am.” Not now. Everything was far too close to the surface.
“Promise?”
“I promise.” Jon kissed his cheek, then sighed and kissed him lightly on the lips. The hitch in Kendis’s breathing was gratifying as hell. Jon drew back. “Now go see your momma. And I meant what I said. If she needs to come here and check the place out, that’s fine.” He smiled at Chaz who was standing by the door, ready to go. “Take our boy home. Make sure he’s safe.”