by Dakota Trace
Alyce floundered for words. She’d expected a playful banter about her request, not an ‘in her face’ blatant show of how aroused the man was. Her brain short-circuited as a warm gush of liquid trickled down the inside of her thigh. Mortification warred with overwhelming desire. Fuck! Only whores…
“Alyce?” The soft, almost gentle way he said her name, struck her harder than a whip. It was as if he could read her mind, realize what her insecurities were, and act accordingly. Anger tried to push past desire. “Settle down, sweetheart. Take a few deep breaths for me. I don’t want you passing out, unless it’s from the pleasure I give you. Which you’re not ready for… yet.”
“I…but you’re hard…” She whispered, still vastly aware of the steel-like length of him pressed against her. “Don’t…you want sex?”
A low rumble - a cross between a chuckle and groan escaped him. “I’d have to be dead not to want you. But despite what my dick is screaming for, I’m not about to do anything yet.”
Yet? Her pulse leapt at the idea of the sexy Dom behind her taking her to bed. Even if she couldn’t orgasm, she was sure to enjoy all the lovely foreplay. Her breathing grew raspy as the image of being pressed deep into a mound of pillows as Kaleb moved against her flooded her mind and sent even more traitorous sensations to her womb.
“Alyce?” He slowly turned her toward him when she continued to remain silent. She had the overwhelming urge to bury her face against his chest and hide. Hide from the desire she knew she’d find in his expression, bury herself away from the disobedient need coursing through her own body. Hell, even the demonstration she’d all but begged to be brought to. What the hell was going on with her tonight? And why couldn’t she freakin’ control herself?
“Look at me, Alyce.”
For a second, she wanted to shake her head no and pout like her daughter.
“Not acceptable. I asked you to look up at me. I expect you to obey.”
Obey.
The word ricocheted around her brain, setting off numerous triggers. Memories of Obed berating her, screaming at her for not lying still enough and causing him to come before he wanted too. Another of him landing blow after blow when her lack of control had caused a weak orgasm she had no idea how to avoid. According to him each and every time she’d failed in the bedroom, it was always her fault that his orgasms and his pleasures had been wrecked, because she did not obey him as a wife should. The flashback was so vivid, she jerked away from Kaleb hard. She freed herself from his embrace in a surprise move which sent her stumbling back against the two-way mirror.
“Whoa, sweetheart. Don’t hurt yourself. Let’s talk about this.” The concern in his voice was her undoing.
A fine tremor shook her entire body as she fought for self-control. She took deep breaths, infinitely aware of the way Kaleb studied her with a worried but still hungry gaze. It was as if he could see inside her. How her traitorous body was reacting to him, and the war she was having with her past? One which would be better off forgotten, but wasn’t. Even Kaleb’s continued murmurings to relax, to talk to him, weren’t enough to pull her free of the shroud of shame enveloping her.
This wasn’t what she’d come here for. She needed to complete her thesis, not give into the biological urges her exiled sexuality were screaming for. She was a mother and a responsible adult, not a sex-starved submissive. However, it didn’t stop her intense longing for more. If there were only a way to have both.
“Talk to me, Alyce.” The dark command in his tone sent another jolt of sensation skittering down her spine, as she wavered closer to the edge of oblivion. The need to give in, to experience what he was offering threatened to consume her. Effectively stripping her of what little control she had left. It was only sheer willpower and the ingrained fears Obed had repeatedly beaten into her which kept her from submitting to the promise of pleasure in his voice.
“I can’t.” She took a deep breath and met his gaze - flinching at the determination and lust she saw there. Her palms grew damp as the irrational need to flee grew. “I…I…have to…go…” Slipping around him, she almost made it to the door - almost.
* * * *
Like Hell. Kaleb was moving before the thought even finished crossing his mind. There wasn’t any way he, as a responsible Dom, would let a submissive as upset as Alyce walk through that door. No matter how much she denies being a sub – or avoids the reality of her own needs.
“Where do you think you’re going, sweetheart? Did I give you permission to leave?” He threw a hand over her head and pressed against the partially open door. It snapped shut with a soft thud. In front of him, Alyce went stiff, whether with fear or anger, he wasn’t certain. But before he allowed her to leave the room, they would come to an understanding. Scared submissives didn’t have the luxury of running from what they wanted or experienced. They would talk about them, and as he was her Dom, even if it was just for the night. He would offer her comfort and give her what she needed.
“Let me out, Kaleb.” Her tone was nearly emotionless. So at odds with the pure adrenaline he knew had to be coursing through her. He wasn’t conceited but his years as a dominant had given him the edge of being able to read a submissive’s body language. And right up until the moment she’d shut down, she had been begging for more, more of my touch, more of my control.
“I don’t think so.” He leaned in close enough to scrape his whiskers over the exposed column of her neck. “You’re not going anywhere ‘til we talk.”
If he hadn’t been so close, he wouldn’t have caught her low whimper.
“I…” Her shoulders stiffened. “…don’t have anything to say.”
He chuckled. “Of course you do.” He pulled her away from the door, before guiding her over to the low settee Ethan had provided for their viewing comfort. “And you’re going to talk to me, or end up face down over my knee. The choice is yours.”
She shot him a defiant look. He almost laughed at it. His little hell cat didn’t know how to handle the idea of another spanking from him. But that’s good. Gotta keep her off balance.
Sitting down, he tugged her down onto the settee next to him, despite the overwhelming need to pull her onto his lap. One step at a time, he reminded himself.
“You wouldn’t dare.” She tugged her hand free of his. “I’ve done nothing wrong this time. I arrived on time, I’ve behaved according to your rules and haven’t embarrassed you…”
He sighed. “Sometimes spankings aren’t just for punishment, Alyce. You know that. Sometimes it’s just to make the sub feel vulnerable and the dominant powerful.” Using a finger, he tipped her head up to gaze into her eyes. “However, this time it’s because you are hiding from me. You’d rather run than face what is happening between us.”
She started to shake her head. “There’s nothing…”
He growled before jerking her across his lap. A sharp squeal escaped her, when she tried to scramble away. Using an arm over her legs and a hand planted in the center of her back, he kept her where he wanted her, over his splayed thighs with her ass high in the air. “Wrong answer, subbie,” he sternly told her before lifting his arm off her legs to bring his hand down on her ass sharply.
“Ouch! Just because you don’t like my answer, doesn’t mean it’s wrong!” She tried to rear up, but he was prepared for the move and trapped her legs under his thigh. “Damnit! Let me go!”
“No.” He swatted her again, a little sharper this time. “I can sit here all day and redden this lovely ass. I’m pretty sure you’ll be crying for mercy long before I do, so why don’t you make this easy on both of us and talk to me. Why did you try to run?”
“Asshole!” She screeched, still struggling to free herself.
“Yep.” He agreed and brought his hand down again. “Care to try again?”
“God damnit!” She thrashed on his lap, rubbing her soft belly and tits over his thighs and by default his aching cock. Deciding to ignore his trapped dick, he delivered another swat. Unless she ‘safe
worded’, he would continue to spank her until she told him why she ran.
“Ouch. That fucking hurts.” She spat, digging her fingernails into his leg. The pricks of pain had him hissing softly.
“Watch the nails, kitten.” He warned, slapping the back of her thigh. “Unless you want me to increase the strength of this spanking.”
She cried out, just a hint of need in her tone, just enough to balance the pain he was inflicting.
“Bastard. Let me go!”
He tsked. “Name calling. Really, Alyce? I thought you were raised better than that?” Just to assure himself he wasn’t inflicting undue pain, he shoved his fingers against the crotch of her leggings. A significant sized patch of dampness greeted him. He stifled his groan. He wanted every drop of her desire. Needed to control it, until she became a deranged woman begging for her release, knowing he was the only one capable of giving it to her. He lightly brushed the top of the wet patch, seeking out her clit. If pain doesn’t loosen her tongue, maybe pleasure will…
A broken sob escaped her, her body trembling under his touch. “Stop, Sir…please….I’m not your wife…who has to obey…”
His eyes narrowed as understanding dawned. Her fuckin’ ex-husband. Lifting her into a sitting position, he cradled her against his chest. “Your ex was a lying piece of work, Alyce, if that’s what he demanded.” He rubbed his hand over her back as she continued to cry. “As a dominant, I ask my subs obey me, but they give their obedience because they want to, not because it’s demanded or expected as a right. Do you understand?”
She hiccupped against his chest. “I....yeah…”
He sighed and continued to rock her. “I’m not going to let this drop, sweetheart, but I need to know what happened between you and your ex before we can move forward.” She tried to stiffen, but he refused to let her. “Shhh, don’t do that. Relax. I’m not going to hurt you. But you need to talk about it…all of it… because I need to understand.”
“I don’t want to…” There was a pregnant pause before she slumped against him. “But you’re not going to let it go, are you?”
“No.” He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “I’m not. Talk to me. Tell me the truth.”
CHAPTER EIGHT
Even as his words fell silent, the steady thud of his heart under her ear, reassured Alyce that Kaleb was still waiting for her answer. How did she tell a complete stranger what a farce her marriage had been? Obed had stolen a young Alyce’s heart the moment she’d laid eyes on the gangly youth in her ninth grade science class. From the time they’d first been partnered to dissect a frog, until the day he’d slipped the simple gold wedding band on her finger at the end of their senior year in college, he’d been the perfect boy-friend. Then it had all changed. She’d gone to their wedding bed an untried virgin, hoping to experience the pleasure she’d read so much about. Only to find terse unreasonable orders, no consideration let alone understanding of her genuine inexperience, and a discomfort greater than the breaking of her hymen.
But how the hell do I tell him I’m totally fucked up when it comes to sex? That it is one of my reasons for becoming a sex therapist. Physician heal thyself…if only.
“Hello?” His chest rumbled under her ear. “Not that I’m not enjoying this, but I need you to talk to me, Alyce. It was either something I said or did, or you’re dealing with issues left over from your last relationship. I think we need to talk about it. You’ll probably feel much better for getting it off your chest. Besides communication and honesty are the only way to assure it doesn’t happen again.”
“The spanking or…”
He chuckled, his torso vibrating against her cheek. “The spanking? It’s gonna happen again.” He ran a hand over her hair. “But the other…I don’t allow my submissives to run from me. If we’re having an issue, you call ‘yellow’ and we’ll pause to talk about it. But there will be no hiding allowed. How can I take care of you, if you try to hide things from me?”
“I…” She bit her lower lip. As much as she’d love to stay in his arms, she couldn’t let this to happen. “I can’t do this, Kaleb. I’m not asking for you to do anything more than answer a few questions.” Lifting her head off his chest, she tried to ignore the lingering heat in her ass and met his gaze. “Ultimately, everything I do is the means to an end. I need to complete my thesis. I have to…” her voice trailed off, as she fought to find the words to deny the soft part of her that wanted everything he was offering. “Look, I’m not cut out to be anyone’s submissive. Been there, done that. My ex wanted a submissive wife, and as a kink…” She took a deep breath. “In theory, the power exchange can be hot as hell, but eventually you have to come out of the bedroom to deal with the day to day realities. I can’t be submissive then. I don’t need a man to tell me what to do. I know what has to be done, and right now I have a high-functioning autistic daughter who depends upon me to be strong, to bring order to her world. To make it a safe place for her.”
Silence met the end of her speech, then grew as he processed what she’d said. Unable to bear the building tension, she moved to leave his lap, but after a brief struggle where he refused to let her go, she settled back against him, waiting for him to speak.
“Are you done?” His tone didn’t seem angry or even resigned. Warily, she nodded. “Good, now it’s my turn.” His expression hardened. “One, I’m not your ex. I don’t want a woman I have to make every decision for. Orgasms: those are mine, but as for the rest?” He shook his head. “Nope. I want a woman with a brain - one who can go about her daily activities without running to me for every little decision. Will I listen and offer advice if she asks? Yes. But in the end, it will be your choice. Understand?”
She wasn’t sure what to say other than, “Yes, Sir.”
His gaze darkened with lust at the soft honorific. “Two, I understand how important your thesis is to you. In the long run, its approval will land you a job that will make it easier to care for your daughter. Before we started this new program I’d never personally dealt with autistic children – but I’ve heard they can be a handful when their routine is interrupted - particularly if you’re bringing someone new into their life.” He paused, as if gathering his thoughts. “However, I am a patient man. I will work with you, help you with your thesis, and answer any questions you have. Honestly.” He tightened one arm around her as if he thought she might try to escape again. “But my time is not unlimited, nor is it cheap, Alyce. I’ll fully expect something in return for it.”
He wants money? She didn’t blame him. Nothing in life was ever free. Worry filled her. Could she afford it? If it’s less than a hundred an appointment, I might be able to…she mentally calculated how much she had in her savings. If she was careful, she could possibly budget a few Q & A sessions with him, without having to eat Raman and Macaroni & Cheese for a month…
As if he could see where her thoughts had taken her, he cupped the back of her head, tilting her face up to his. “I don’t want your money. So, get that idea out of your head. What I’m thinking is more of a trade. Tit for tat.”
She cocked her head, a sinking feeling stirring in the pit of her stomach. She didn’t like where this was heading. She wasn’t about to barter sex for knowledge. Maybe he was talking about her helping at the youth center.
“Exactly what is it you want? I have about as much artistic talent in my body as you probably have in your pinky. I suppose I could help with paperwork…”
“Alyce…” He cupped her cheek. “I want you ‘doing’ something, but it sure the hell isn’t paperwork.”
She flushed, certain parts of her body going molten at his implication. “I don’t do that anymore.” Her protest was as just as much for her as it was for him. A reminder from her brain to her girly parts, that they didn’t rule her.
“So you say. But I have a feeling for the right man you would.” He sighed. “And I want to be that man. You want answers, in return I want you as my sub.”
She frowned. “Why? I’m s
ure there are plenty of subs out there who would submit to you…”
“But they’re not you. As I mentioned before, you intrigue me, Alyce. I want a chance to explore the connection between us…as time and your daughter allows.”
Anissa.
Thoughts of how Anissa would react to a new man in her life were quickly followed by what Obed would do if he found out. A sobering reality check. Even though they had been divorced for a year at the time, he’d raised holy hell when she’d gone out one night with a guy from her study group for a cup of coffee. What would he do if he found out she was seeing a man who liked kink?
Probably take me back to court again.
Disappointment pooled in her stomach. She couldn’t do it, couldn’t risk it. Tears burned the back of her eyes. “I can’t…if Anissa’s father finds out…”
“Sweetheart, he won’t find out.” Sympathy radiated from his gaze. “I’m the soul of discretion. I have to be. I run the local youth art center. If it ever got out I liked to tie up women and teased them to the brink of madness, what do you think would happen?”
She sighed. “You wouldn’t be running it anymore?”
He nodded. “Exactly. This community? Particularly those who play at New Beginnings can’t afford not to be discrete. Most work in fields where if their lifestyle choices became public knowledge, they would have issues. Which is why there is the iron-clad confidentiality clause you signed earlier tonight is in place.” He rubbed his thumb over her lower lip. “I’ve been a member a long time. Not once in the five years since New Beginnings has been open has anyone ever been outed by another member, at least not without very severe consequences.”
“But…” his thumb muffled her protest.
“But nothing. As your Dom, I’d protect you from not just physical harm, but outside ones as well.”
A small sliver of hope blossomed in her chest. Could it honestly be so easy? But what about her daughter? Sure her dad was watching Anissa tonight, but what excuse could she give him, let alone her mother, for repeated absences? After a while ‘the studying at the library’ excuse would only go so far - but whoa, she mentally drew up the reins as her ever-cautious brain caught up with her. First, she needed to find out what he was expecting out of her as his submissive before she worried about what to tell her parents, or thought about how to make arrangements for Anissa.