by Dakota Trace
“Alyce?” Even to his own ears, his voice sounded rough.
“Am I in trouble, Sir?”
Her question tore at his heart.
He stepped closer and tipped her chin up, staring down at her face. Even in the dim light cast down by the hall light behind her, he could see evidence of the many tears she’d cried. “For what, kitten?”
“I…didn’t call on time.” She tried to avert her gaze, but he refused to let go of her chin. “I don’t really have an excuse, it’s just that I…fought with my mom, then got in the shower…and started…”
“Crying?”
She gave him a hopeless look. “Yeah, and I didn’t realize until I got out what time it was…”
He sighed, wanting nothing more than to hold her. “Come on.” He caught her hand in his.
“Where are we going?” She seemed a bit dazed.
“To your room.” He replied, tugging her down the hall.
Her steps faltered. “I can’t… I won’t with Anissa…”
He drew her up against him. “I know. This isn’t about sex, or even making love.” He brushed a kiss over the top of her towel covered head. “This is about me holding you - offering you the comfort you need. Now where’s your room?”
Her eyes looked a little brighter in the hall light. “Last door on the left, Sir.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
The faint ringing of the telephone, broke through Alyce's slumber and jolted her awake. Reaching out blindly for the phone, she slapped at the bedside table, only to realize that the cordless handset, normally there, was missing. She blinked slowly, trying to shake out the cobwebs. The last thing she remembered was crawling into bed with Sir and him wrapping his arms around her. They hadn’t even spoken about the fight that had upset her.
Scrambling, she tried to sit up, but found herself wrapped up tighter than a burrito – and alone in her bed. What the hell! How did I sleep through his leaving?
She sank back against her pillows, trying to calm her racing heart. At least she wouldn’t have to explain to Anissa why Mr. Kaleb had spent the night. Her eyes drifted shut, only to fly open again. Shit, what time is it?
A quick look at the clock on the wall sent a surge of panic through her. It couldn't be almost ten o'clock. Frantic, she tried to unearth herself from the mound of pillows and blankets. She had to get herself and Anissa ready for brunch with her parents. Despite her nasty fight with her at times, overbearing mother, she knew her dad lived for these visits with his only granddaughter. It would be uncomfortable with her mom glaring and sniping at her the whole time, but she didn’t want to disappoint her father – or Anissa for that matter. Her daughter loved Sunday brunch with her poppa.
“Momma?”
Her daughter's soft voice filtered through the shut bedroom door, followed by a hesitant knock. “Nana is on the phone, and Mr. Kaleb just showed up with donuts and coffee. I know I probably shouldn’t have let him in without asking you first, but he said he had so much fun yesterday spending the day with us, that he wanted to do it again.”
Slipping out of bed, she winced when her toasty feet met the cold wood. She shoved her feet into her slippers, and took a calming breath. It did little too damper the joy she felt at Kaleb’s return – which was ridiculous. She was too old, too broken, to be acting like an impressionable teenager.
“Momma, are you mad at me?”
The worry in her daughter’s voice shook her out of her thoughts. “No, sweetheart. I’m not angry at you, and I heard you just fine, but just give me a few minutes to get dressed and I'll be down.”
“What about Nana?”
She bit her lip. The last thing she wanted to do was fight with her mother again before she even had a cup of coffee in her. “Tell her I'll call her back in a little bit.”
“Okay...”
The muffled sound of retreating footsteps down the hall had Alyce drawing a deep breath of relief. Turning to straighten the bed, she caught glimpse of a folded piece of paper, sitting on her bedside table. She paused, before reaching out to trace a finger over her name. Kaleb’s familiar masculine scrawl sent a shiver of anticipation through her. Strong and bold, the strokes only gave a hint of the hidden depths of strength in her dominant. Hesitant, she picked up the paper. What had her Sir written? Orders he expected her to obey now that he'd spent the night - or at least part of it - in her bed? Reassurances that he didn't think any less of her after her meltdown? Or worse, a quick painful ending of their relationship?
She almost dropped the paper - unwilling to read a Dear Jane letter. Even though she doubted the direction of their relationship at times, she wasn’t ready for to end.
But Sir wouldn’t do that. He’d tell me it was over to my face.
Curiosity and hope warred inside her.
“It could be an order to re-insert the Luna beads, Alyce,” she whispered to herself.
Her fingers tightened, crinkling then crumpling the notepaper. The desire, she’d thought was gone, came back with a sudden rush as her traitorous body craved more of the sensuous pleasure he’d given her. This wasn’t what she’d signed up for when she’d agreed to his terms. She’d hoped for the bare minimum amount of contact to fulfill her thesis, then it to be over before her parents, or heaven forbid Obed found out and made her life difficult. So her body’s eager, even overwhelming responses troubled her.
When did our agreement become so much more than just a means to end?
Her world rocked on its axis. A soft moan escaped her as the implications of what this meant to her ongoing mission to better her and Anissa’s lives. She couldn’t be falling in love with a man who would require her submission. How could she raise her daughter to be a strong, independent woman when she, herself, would be catering to Kaleb’s every want and desire? Even if she could separate her desire to submit in the bedroom from the reality of her life with Anissa, how could she remain objective enough to take her experiences under Kaleb’s tutelage and mold them to fit her thesis? To not allow her emerging feelings color her perspective?
I can’t.
She pressed her fingers to her lips to stifle any sound she might make as the first tear slid, unchecked down her cheek. She was going to either have to break it off with him and find another dominant to help her, or set some firm ground rules. There could be no more spending time with him outside of research - with or without Anissa. Period.
As if her thoughts had beckoned him, Kaleb’s voice drifted through the thin wood. “Alyce?”
Her gaze darted to the door, her need to hide from the man causing her inner turmoil riding her hard. She couldn’t deal with this right now. The temptation of his touch, the lure of his gentle dominance would make a mockery out of the hollow promise she’d just made to herself. But if she didn't answer would he go away? Or ignore her silence, and check on her? She didn’t have long to wonder.
“Alyce, I'm coming in.”
She darted across the room to her attached bathroom, seeking refuge inside the small space. She shut the door, then rushed to the shower, flipping it on. She knew he would track her down fast enough, but with the running water, she could claim she hadn’t heard him at the door. But could she actually lie to him?
Not without breaking one of our rules.
Quickly, stripping off her robe, she knew that would never fly. He’d see through her ruse in a heartbeat, but maybe she would luck out and he’d assume that was the reason she hadn’t answered.
She'd just stepped inside the shower, when the bathroom door opened. She froze under his intense stare, the curtain on the shower half open, half shut.
“Kitten?” The pet name seemed to be dragged from the depths of his soul, as he devoured her with his gaze.
“Sir.” The honorific came out as a barely-there squeak. “You can't be in here. Anissa...”
“Is busy watching cartoons and devouring the cinnamon roll I brought her.” He closed the bathroom door behind him, lust stamped across his face.
“I...
crap.” She jerked the curtain shut. Not that a flimsy piece of plastic was much of a deterrent for Kaleb.
“Open it.” The harsh command warned that he wasn't playing with her - that he expected to her to obey.
“I...please, Kaleb...I need to shower, before going to my parents for brunch.”
“You just showered last night. And while I wouldn’t give them the time of day after your fight last night, you have an hour before you’re expected, which leaves us plenty of time to talk. Now, I'm not asking again. Either you quit hiding behind it, or I'll consider your little act of defiance to be deliberate, not that of a modest woman.”
Her breath caught, her nipples beaded under the warm wash of water. I shouldn't be reacting like this. I'm a grown woman, not an impulsive teenager.
“So be it.” The scrape of metal against metal was her only warning before he ripped the curtain back. “What happened while I was gone – where did my warm, caring submissive go?”
“I...”
He crossed his arms over his chest, ignoring the fine mist of water that was slowly soaking both him, and the floor in front of the shower. Shit, she was already in trouble, and the last thing she needed was to compound the situation by soaking her dominant. She turned to shut the water off.
Pop!
She hissed as her left ass cheek lit up with an intense pain that could only be felt by the amplification of water.
“Ouch!” She spun back around, her hands flying behind her, in an effort to protect her ass.
“Before you even think about lying to me, I suggest you remember our agreement.” His look almost pleaded with her – as much as a dominant could plead. “I’m not a fool. Something obviously happened. After everything else we’ve been through, is whatever that is bothering you worth the consequences of what will happen if you aren’t honest with me?”
She swallowed hard, unnerved at the no bullshit look in his eyes. She knew without a doubt he’d follow through with his unspoken threat. And put that way, her inner turmoil over balancing her need to submit with her everyday life, seem small in the scheme of things. “No, Sir.”
But damned if she knew how to explain it. She struggled with the words, running each one through her mind, but no matter which way she phrased her fear, it sounded stupid to her.
“My patience is wearing thin, Alyce.” He growled at her continued silence. “I got very little sleep last night. So unless you want to end up gagged and over my knee, I suggest you start talking.”
The absolute promise in his tone sent another wave of desire over her. Damnit, why does he have to be so damned sexy even when he's threatening to warm my ass?
* * * *
Kaleb stared down at his wet submissive, trying to ignore the fact she was standing in front of him nude, while the cascading water caressed her form like a lover. It made him want to drag her back to her freshly made bed and remind her how close they’d been last night. For once, she’d let her guard down, and he'd gotten a glimpse of the woman that he instinctively knew not many people got to see. The vulnerable, stressed out, but caring human who loved her daughter to hell and back and was willing to do anything to protect her. Including living in her parents’ backyard, when any grown woman would’ve moved away by now.
But the fact she’d let him in was humbling, and made him love her even more. And why he'd worried the entire four hours he'd been gone, that Alyce would retreat back into her shell. So even though he hadn't wanted to, he'd left as he promised before her daughter woke. It had been damned near impossible to leave her bed. Especially with her still in it.
Which was why it was so damned frustrating to return and find her hiding behind her walls again. It was enough to piss off the dominant inside him.
But nothing like the words that came out of her mouth, after she grabbed the towel off the rack and tugged it around her body. “I’m scared.”
“Of me?”
She shook her head, before wrapping her arms around her waist. Her defensive posture tugged at his heartstrings.
“Then what?”
She chewed on her lower lip, avoiding his gaze.
Frustration gnawed at his insides. Was it something he’d done yesterday? Had he reminded her of her ex?
“Alyce, something my sister mentioned to me yesterday…” he raked his hand through his hair. “You know that while I love controlling your pleasure, I’d never berate or abuse you over having a totally normal and healthy sex drive. I’m not like him.”
Her gaze flew up. “Of course not.”
Relief poured over him. “Good.” He took her hand and placed it over his heart. “Feel that?”
She nodded.
“I’d rather rip my beating heart out of my chest than make you feel worthless, kitten.”
Awe filled her expression. “You would?”
He gave her a crooked smile. “Hell yeah. Which is why it truly pisses me off when you hide shit from me. When are you going to get it through your head – you’re my sub to take care of. Whether it’s your physical or emotional needs, it’s my job to fulfill them.”
Instead of smiling at his declaration, she burst into tears much to his bafflement.
“Kitten?” He drew her up against him, uncaring that her wet form soaked his clothing.
“I…” She buried her face against his chest, before thumping him with her dainty fist. “Damnit, Sir! Why can’t you be an ass? You’re making this hard for me.”
He rubbed a hand up and down her back. “Making what hard?”
“To remember that this is just supposed to be a temporary agreement. None of this…sleeping together, having friends over and barbequing…you coming over to comfort me…was supposed to happen. We weren’t supposed to take it this far….”
He could feel her frustration in every word, and the occasional thump of her fist against his chest. He gave a soft chuckle. “So what you’re saying, is that we weren’t supposed to fall in love?”
She stilled in his arms. “Who said anything about that?” Her question came out as the barest of whispers.
He threaded one hand through her hair, then tipped her head back, until he could look into her emerald eyes. “I did.”
She searched his face. “You love me?”
He sighed and gathered her closer. “Wrap those legs around me.”
In a daze, she did as he requested. Carrying her into the bedroom, he sat down on the bed with her. “You’re a sneaky one, kitten. Slipped right past my defenses.”
“But...we can’t…the agreement…”
“Which can be re-negotiated at any given time. That’s the beauty of BDSM agreements; they can change as the needs of the dominant and sub change.”
“They can?” The cautious hope in her tone, made him smile.
“Hell yeah. Some basic rules will stay the same, but what we need out of our time together can be fluid.”
“Does that mean this time you’ll agree to the no masturbation thing?”
He arched a brow at her. “You want to control my orgasms?” That would be a first
She shook her head. “No, it just that you come whenever you want, and I’d never even know the difference. It doesn’t seem fair that you know each and every time I do, while I can’t say the same.”
Amusement crept in, tugging at his lips. The little minx. “A very valid point, Ms. O’Connell. I’ll only come in your presence from now on. So, don’t be surprised if you get a late-night call or two.”
A small giggle escaped her, before she fell silent once more.
“But something tells me that’s not the only rule that needs to be re-negotiated.” He hoped giving her the opening would help in getting to the crux of her meltdown.
“What if I need things to change to accommodate my duties as a mom, while still continuing being your submissive?”
He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “Then we’ll discuss that. Because until Anissa no longer needs you, your responsibilities her will always come first.”
He swatted her on the ass. “Who said anything about putting them aside?”
Her eyes went wide when she looked up at him.
He gave her a rakish grin. “I prefer to think of it as delayed gratification. And from what I’ve heard, it can be really intense.”
Her cheeks flushed, then a giggle escaped her. “So have I, Sir.”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
“Poppa!”
Anissa rushed ahead of Alyce, her youthful excitement drawing a smile to her mother's already happy face. Alyce couldn't ever remember smiling as much she had in the past hour. Since Sir and I came to an agreement. It was almost enough to make her want to pinch herself, to make sure she wasn't still dreaming. Things like this just didn't happen to her. She never expected to find a man that didn’t resent the sheer amount of time she spent with her daughter, let alone one who wanted her to put Anissa first.
“Come on, Momma.” Anissa crossed her arms over her chest, while Alyce shut the front door behind them. “You know Poppa's probably still got his head buried in the Sunday paper - and if I don't go get him, he'll miss brunch altogether.”
Alyce chuckled at her daughter's indignant tone. Some things never changed, and her daughter's belief that her grandfather's world revolved around her was one of them. The fact that it was true was beside the point. “Fine, run ahead. I'll check on Nana while you drag Poppa out of his study.”
“Okay, Momma.” Anissa didn’t even wait for her mom to remove her jacket before racing down the hall toward Poppa's study.
Alyce shook her head as she shrugged out of her light weight breaker. The warm weather that had held out for Kaleb's cookout had flown, and today was significantly cooler and just a bit drizzly.
“Well, look what the cat dragged in.” The caustic voice from the open doorway of the living room had Alyce's smile fading. Standing just inside the ornate room, her sister looked like the epitome of a Stepford housewife, every hair in place, perfect lipstick, and a chic jeans and sweater combo that showed off her svelte form.