by Xyla Turner
Nobody would be good for him. The new guy, the one they called Toad was clearly young and impressionable. How bad could he be? Hazard was nothing but a bully and I did not like bullies.
Not in the least bit.
After fifth grade, when Rashida decided to take my peanut butter and jelly sandwich, which my mom would never make me until she ran out of bologna. I was on cloud nine and I might have told everyone about my PB & J sandwich, but that gave no right for Rashida Hendrickson to take my damn lunch. She took two bites and everything in me, just went absolutely wild. Everyone was scared of her because she was the teacher’s pet and her parents were being escorted by the Principal around the school all the time. We didn’t know it, but they were donors and took every dime they spent seriously. One of those folks that wanted to see the fruits of their money. So, everyone was scared of their tyrant of a daughter who always had the best lunches, the newest clothes and she was nice and skinny. Even though she had braces, no one dared mess with her or call the girl, utensil teeth.
Never.
She was Rashida.
Well, once those metal braces hit the bread of my PB & J sandwich, I was told I growled and tackled her skinny ass onto the cafeteria floor. Then I started swinging, knocking my sandwich away and pounding on her like kids from all over the fifth grade should. That action did not end well for me, because I was suspended, and my mom had to come to the school, meet with the victim’s parents. This is what they kept referring to her as instead of a bully. The great thing about my mom was she had heard me complain about Rashida, so she went up there and held back nothing. My mom was so upset about the whole thing, she gathered other parents too, to go up against the principal and the unfair treatment of other kids based on the actions of a bully. Now, the suspension still stood because Mom agreed, I was wrong for beating up the school tyrant. However, my mom’s point was that if her daughter was provoked enough to tackle someone, when I’ve never been violent before, then that was something to investigate.
Money won out in the end because Rashida’s parents were upset that over fifteen parents were calling their little Hitler a bully. The school had nothing to do with it, but they didn’t like us much after their biggest donor took their money elsewhere. In spite of all of that, nobody else messed with me and since I had earned sort of a title that included the beater of bullies. I, somehow, became popular. It was weird at first but pretty cool. Oddly enough, one of my other punishments was I had to go to mediation with Rashida while she was still enrolled at the school. Then the school started a peer mediation club and since I had to go through it, I learned the techniques and even embraced them.
It was by happenstance, I grew into the field with my liberal arts college education. The Mennonite school I attended was all about non-violence, which I certainly did not embrace. I grew up in Brooklyn and sometimes a fist was all folks understood. I would mediate the situation afterwards but where I was from, non-violence got you mistaken and you could quickly become a victim. Despite my framework, I received my degree in social work, which led to an opportunity to help parents advocate for getting their kids special services. Then that led to my current field of mediation of all sorts of things, including but not limited to court cases, businesses, employers and employees and now firefighters.
Who knew?
This was a first for the organization and definitely for me.
What I gathered from talking with the Chief, was that Hazard, such an appropriate name, was the team leader and he had major issues with Toad or Oscar. This was causing a rift in the house and it needed to be fixed as soon as possible. I shared with him that I needed time with the individuals together and alone, to try and figure out the best way to approach mediation. It also wouldn’t be good if I just focused on those two since it would highlight the other men. He agreed and said that many of the guys were married and needed their own personal mediations and that could also cover the scope of my work. It seemed to be a job for more than one person, but I shared I would report to him weekly on my progress.
He appeared to be a nice man that had experienced tremendous loss at some point. He also seemed to be quite reflective, like he wasn’t sure how long he would be on the job. To call a mediator or more importantly to get the Bronx Fire Department of New York (FDNY) to approve such a cost, was another sure sign of how much he was committed to the cause.
Time for the assortment of the clothes had quickly approached after Rex took me around the police station that was one block away from the station. It was honestly an excuse to leave the presence of the Hazard, so I could get some fresh air and learn more about the house from Rex’s point of view. He seemed to be a negotiator of types, and that was more appealing than his counterpart. Also, he had some mediating he had to do with his wife about whether to send their daughter to public or private school. They were both working individuals and could afford a private school, but his wife was not feeling the hard knocks life for their daughter. Rex shared the opinion that in order for her to survive in South Bronx, she had to learn from the streets. Therefore, the two of them were at a standstill and she started school next year. He agreed I could help to mediate that with him and her but first he wanted to know if I went to public or private school. Once I shared that I went to P.S. 212 in Brooklyn, he agreed, more emphatically this time.
Once I entered the equipment bay where a group of the guys were sorting out the kid’s coats, small, medium, large, and x-large, I saw Hazard standing at the front giving directions. Toad was far away from the group, making his own pile of clothes. I kept in the long sigh because this would be a long six weeks.
Sidling up to Hazard, I said in a low voice, “I know you’re the team leader, but it doesn’t hurt to work with the group as well. I would suggest working with Oscar, who seems to be doing his own thing.”
Hazard, unlike me, let out his long sigh of annoyance and yelled, “Toad, what the fuck are you doing over there? We’re here,” he gestured with his index finger jerking downward, “Organizing shit right here.”
Toad turned his head and yelled back, “My way is more efficient. I’m nearly done with my shit.”
“Hazard,” Rex called with a warning tone.
“This mother fucker,” Hazard mumbled under his breath.
I didn’t know the man long enough to know what the warning was about, or what his mumbling meant, but I knew myself, so I quickly said, “Remember, rule number one. Stay calm.”
“Fuck calm,” he hissed back. Then he barked, “Toad, the point of being on a team is to bring your ass over here and be a part of the team.”
That was semi-inspirational, but the way it was delivered was not good. All eyes were on Hazard and Oscar as if everyone knew what was going to happen next. I was the only idiot who didn’t know.
“A team slows me down,” he yelled back without looking. “I got this shit in the bag. Unlike the rest of y’all slow asses.”
Toad proudly turned around with two large trash bags full of clothes and held them up with both hands. The smile on his face was that of a child who triumphantly won the next level on a video game or something. My gaze on the young probie, prohibited me from seeing that Hazard was no longer next to me.
Shit.
“Fuck,” Rex muttered.
By the time I realized where to look, Hazard was back in my line of sight and he was marching toward Oscar with purposeful steps. The probie must have known what was going on, because he dropped both bags and charged for him, like I did with Rashida. Unfortunately for him, Hazard didn’t even move back, just stepped to the side, where he easily used Oscar’s momentum against him and had him crashing into the table of clothes. Everything came tumbling down and the rest of the men groaned. Not at Hazard, but at the probie.
“Fucking Toad,” one shouted out loud.
“You’re done,” Hazard barked to Toad. “Can’t even with you.”
This was my cue, but it came out the wrong way. “No, he’s not,” I said in a similarly authoritative tone, d
espite my intention.
Then I moved toward Toad, who was now standing upright and glaring daggers at his team leader. This little ensemble was not what I expected.
“He’s done, woman.” Hazard’s scowl was on me now. “That’s it.”
“That’s not it,” I snapped back. “He’s going to get it right because you’re going to help him.”
“No, he’s not.” Oscar chimed in. “He’s a fucking asshole.”
Hazard took that opportunity to walk toward me in the same way he did earlier that day, in my space and our toes nearly touching.
“You think you’re going to come in here and tell me how to do my job?” He was talking through clenched teeth. “I said he’s done and you don’t have the authority to override that.”
Unfortunately, this is how I get in trouble all the time. I matched his tone and my words were coming through my teeth.
“I have the authority of the Chief, which I will gladly go and explain to him how Oscar’s superior was not able to coach him, but instead wanted to bully him into doing what he failed to provide instructions for. Sort of like now, standing in my face, like I’m going to be intimidated by you. Well,” I chuckled, “You clearly don’t know me very well. But, I know your kind and one day, you’ll be cut down to size. Now, if you know like I know. You’ll instruct Oscar here on what you would like instead of leaving him to fend for himself. What do you say?”
I smiled and no, it didn’t reach my eyes, but I was trying the nice-nasty method with this asshole. He wouldn’t have me stepping out of character, but I had to let him know, he kept crossing the line with me and I’d be the one to cut his ass down to size.
Hazard stared at me and hissed, “We’ll see.”
Then he turned those daggers away from me and yelled, “Rex, show Toad here how to fucking do as he’s told.”
After that command, he left the equipment bay, but I didn’t follow him. There was no need. The poor man was licking up his wounds, and I’d give him that. My intention was not to have a power struggle with him in front of his men, so I’d own that, but this guy was being unreasonable. How can you hold someone accountable for something they didn’t even know they were being held responsible for?
The rest of the assortment went by without a hitch, but the distribution, I found out, I had to ride with Hazard. Thankfully, Rex and Sub were also in the car, chatting about the latest news of the current President and what that meant for their families. I didn’t add any comments, and neither did Hazard.
When we arrived at the first shelter, Hazard had everyone get out but told me to stay.
“Your job is to mediate,” he said, and it was clear, he was trying to remain calm. “It is not to tell me how to do my job or handle my men. You want to mediate the shit between Toad and I, then spend some time with him because you micromanaging me is not going to work. And, furthermore, I’m not sure what I did to you but this stick up your ass when it comes to me is also not going to fly.”
Well, fuck calm.
I smiled that nice-nasty smirk again and said, “Hazard, my job is to mediate and that includes, and I quote, working closely with you and providing ways to help you fix what was broken with Oscar. If you recall, I tried to do that quietly, which you ignored. You instead wanted to put him on the spot and highlight what he was doing wrong, so he matched you. Then, I met you both there. I will actually apologize for doing that because my intention was not to undermine you in front of your men. I’m sorry. However, I will not apologize for pointing out that you were wrong. He’s a probie that needs guidance. Hazard, you’re his leader and you need to provide that to him. Period. Calling him out, is not the way. Being a bully is not the way.” I exhaled. “Furthermore, there is no stick up my ass. I’m merely doing my job. I will quietly speak things in your ear if I see something, but I promise you. Step to me in a menacing way again and we will have problems. If you have a problem with authority or women telling you what to do, I suggest you put all that aside for the next six weeks because I’m in this and I will get my results. Period.”
On that note, I opened the door and made my way inside the shelter with a quiet Hazard stomping behind me. I’m not sure if it was the yellow, big ass boots or him having a temper tantrum, but he had a heavy foot.
And, they were both big.
****
Distribution of the coats was not only rewarding, but eye-opening. So many families did not have enough essentials out of the day and by the time everyone came back to the station, there wasn’t one coat left. There had to be at least two hundred coats and we’d only hit about ten shelters and four half-way houses.
That was unreal.
I know the South Bronx was one of the poorest neighborhoods, but seeing that poverty up close was life-changing. I made a note in my phone to do automatic giving throughout the year and not just at the end for a tax break.
When we returned, the house smelled like Italian food was cooking or simmering somewhere. I had met Lionel, but the man didn’t look like he could cook what I was smelling. He seemed more of a meat and potatoes kind of man. Hence, the meat and potatoes that were on the counter when I entered his abode.
“You staying for dinner?” Rex asked as he rushed in. “If so, come on because it’s lasagna night. Some of the best you’ll ever get.”
Looking at my phone for the time, I saw that there was plenty of time for me to eat and then get back to Brooklyn.
“Sure,” I followed behind him. “It’s the best, huh?”
“Oh yeah.” The man was all smiles.
I sat next to him as a group of women came out to serve us but these were no ordinary women, they were young and beautiful. I’m sure in their former lives, they were cheerleaders or something. Yet, their stretch pants, which I dared not ever put on or skinny jeans, which never looked right on me, because hello. I was not skinny. In fact, my height was the only thing that saved me from being round. At five feet and ten inches, and almost two-hundred and fifty pounds looked very different on a five foot and two-inch chick.
The women went around with hefty plates of lasagna and placed them in front of the waiting men and myself. There was flirting from all angles but the one that caught my eyes was the redhead touching Hazard.
“Heeey, Hazzard,” she sang with that annoying voice.
He smiled up at her while showing his big white teeth. Why I was concerned that the man had the dirty nerve to smile at her, was beyond me.
Wow.
Why was I feeling some type of way? He did dismiss me, effectively on Christmas evening. I still did not know why that stung as bad as it did.
At that point, Toad decided to make his presence known to the redhead. I was glad I had taken two bites of the amazing lasagna, before all hell broke loose. Hazard mumbled something under his breath to Toad, which I assumed was a warning to leave the two of them alone, but the probie did not take heed the notice. Hazard said something again and the redhead laughed and that was when Toad swung, connecting with the team leader’s eye and it took three men to get Hazard off the probie’s ass.
Everyone was in an uproar and the Chief was so pissed, he reamed into Hazard so loud, it could be heard in every room in the huge station, including in the garage. He even reamed into Toad but not as bad as Hazard. I left after that because that shit was too much for me. Working with corporate professionals was one thing, but a group of firefighters who answers were always a clenched fist, yelling and cursing was a complete other. They did not talk, mediate or even communicate in the right ways. They just hit first and fuck the questions later. No wonder the Chief called in a mediator but for once during my career, I wondered if I was the one to help this lot of men.
They were off the damn chains.
Chapter 5
Axel Hazard
The swelling of my eye did not go down all the way from that punk ass, Toad. His ass took a cheap shot on me and he would pay. If it was the last thing I did that motherfucker would pay. I was seconds away from maki
ng him eat my foot in his goddamn mouth.
Fuck mediation.
Fuck what the Chief was saying.
Fuck that woman.
He would pay.
Chief sent me home early on Monday and I was off on Tuesday. He’d never done that, but I got the feeling he was embarrassed because of the mediator. When he found out she had left, he got more pissed. Hopefully her ass wouldn’t be coming back and breathing on my neck with her scent lingering around me. Making me hard as shit and keeping me off my game.
I tried to talk Chief out of making me leave on Monday, but he looked like he was ready to fire my ass or kill me. He was disappointed again, but he didn’t understand what Toad was doing to the group. It was like, the man had on blinders when it came to that probie.
Most of my day, I watched college football on television. Then somehow when I finally checked my phone, I found Rex had texted me a few times, seeing how I was doing? Wanting to know if I could grab a beer after work. Then the last text said that the mediator hadn’t shown today, but a man did.
This had me calling him.
“What the fuck?” I asked.
“You’re alive,” he answered. “What you up to?”
“You said the lady mediator didn’t show today?” I asked. “She quit?”
“Man, I don’t know,” Rex answered. “Just know some man was here today, but he didn’t spend much time with us. He looked like a mediator if you know what I mean. He met with the Chief and when he left, Whitley was pissed. So, I figured she quit, and he was either her replacement or her boss. Fuck if I know.”
Why didn’t that news make me happier than a kid in a candy store? No, I was disappointed, instead. She seemed stronger than that. One fight and she bounced. She stood flat-foot, in my face and said, she was going nowhere and she lied. The woman was a liar and a coward.
“Well, fuck her. We don’t need a mediator, anyway,” I huffed. “I told Chief I got this. Not sure why he brought her in here.”
“Cause man, you don’t got this,” Rex said in a low voice. “Not trying to bust your balls, man, but things are changing and you need to get this shit together with Toad. You’re the team leader and if you keep letting a probie get you out of sorts, folks are going to start thinking you ain’t equipped to lead them, despite your past successes. He’s a fucking probie. Annoying as shit, but still.”