by Xyla Turner
“Alright, let’s go do what we do.” I yelled to my truck crew.
Rex nodded to say a few lines of prayer and for some reason, so did I. Situations like these were never good and anyone could be a casualty. I hadn’t heard from Trecia and her appointment was over at twelve o’clock. There was a nagging feeling in my gut, so I quickly called, but it went straight to voicemail.
I called three more times and then I heard Rex call, “Man what’s up?”
“Can’t reach her,” I replied without elaborating in front of mixed company.
“Was she supposed to check in?” He asked.
“Naw, but I got this feeling. Like something is not right.” I dialed her again. “Can’t explain it, man.”
Rex nodded his head and said, “No need. I got a wife and kid. My instincts about them are usually right on target. Let’s see. She went to the doctor. You know where or which one? We can call and find out if she made it or not.”
I tried to think back to the night before when we were in her bed talking about the plans for today. She was on the birth control shot and her three months were coming to an end. Therefore, she could go to any doctor in her network, because hers was located in Brooklyn. I told her to go to a local one near the station, since she was coming straight to work afterward. I didn’t know which doctor she picked, though.
“Fuck, I don’t know,” I murmured.
“Okay, Man.” Rex extended his hand in the air, with his palm down. “Let’s focus on this, and then we can figure this out. Okay?”
My eyes hit him, but it was not okay. For once in my life my job was not an automatic. It didn’t come first. It wasn’t a choice. I wanted her; to be with her and no one else. Finally, something mattered more than my job or calling. Obligation was one thing, but having some kept getting on my nerves.
Rex must have seen the panic in my eyes, because he leaned forward and said, “We’ll find her. It’s okay. Let save these lives first. I’ll go on the hunt with you. Right after this, okay?”
I nodded my head at him and said, “Okay. First thing first.”
When we arrived on the scene, flames were blasting from windows on the upper floors. Black smoke filled the air, clouding our vision where it spread. The ladder truck was set in place.
Truck 98, between our equipment and the high rise of the building, we would need to take the stairs.
“What businesses are on these floors?” Rex asked, since I was still reeling but also assessing what approach we should use to tame this beast. Fire has no conscious, and it caused destruction in its wake, leaving little trails of remorse. That beast took my father, and it was one demon I didn’t play with. I didn’t fuck around and get lazy about the devastation it could cause. I was its victim. My father played with it; he was cavalier about its effect and it took him out because of it. The chief thought I was giving it more power than it had, but it didn’t take the only man that raised him away. My quest to be a fire fighter, was not to tame it, since I respected it, but to save others’ lives from its rippling and deadly effect.
“A fertility clinic, doctor’s office and dentist office.” A man standing in a white shirt who was probably a manager of the building said.
“Okay,” Rex replied. “Do you know if everyone got out?”
He shrugged and said, “I don’t know. I’m really sorry.”
“It’s fine,” Rex replied. “Thank you.”
After everyone had their gear ready, Rex looked to me and said, “alright, we’re good to go.”
Snapping back into action, I saw Toad standing near the truck, pulling out the hose. He had helped us load the gear as well and was ready needed every man.
“Toad, suit up. You’re in,” I called out.
The man almost tripped trying to get ready.
“You sure about this?” Rex whispered.
“No, but we need the body and he’s got to have the experience.” I nodded toward the building. “We got to stop this shit.”
I gave my orders, and we hit the stairs, one floor at a time. Some were behind huffing and puffing, probably the fans of Lionel’s home cooking. Once we made it to the thirteenth floor I knew this would be more than our usual fire. The place had already swelled, flames above us, creeping up the side of the walls. Papers on the walls fell to the carpet, containing the sparks to individual spots, allowing us to move freely by squashing the small fires out with our extinguishers. We split into teams and broke down the space after looking at the floor map. I kept Toad with me, so I could watch him. At first, he was moving rapidly, but after tapping him on the left shoulder, I gave the universal signal to calm down with my palm facing the floor and moved it in a downward motion. In fuel gear, it was hard to hear, so we had a set of signals and signs we used when in the midst of a situation.
I stopped mid-stride as I passed one of the burning papers falling on the floor and saw the familiar logo. It struck me as odd because I remembered the logo and that nagging feeling in my chest churned again. The same one that I felt about Trecia earlier.
Motherfucker.
Trecia.
This was the place she came to.
It had to be.
She showed me that logo on her phone because she thought the Brooklyn symbol was better than the BX in bold Arial lettering, for the Bronx location. She said, ‘the BK was more prominent, and it was probably a different graphic designer. Trecia had blamed the observation on her marketing background when I called her a sexy nerd.
This was definitely the logo. That meant she had been here. I called Rex to look for the people in that clinic. Hoping she got out was one thing, ensuring she got out was altogether something different. Toad had been observing me the entire time and I knew freaking out would not be in my best interest.
We kept walking and the blaze raged in front of us, growing hotter as the wind fueled the belly of the beast.
“What’s the status on that ladder?” I patched through.
The transcription was spotty, but I heard, ‘stat.’
Within a minute, there was a gush of wind from the sprays of harsh water that spread toward the flames.
“Fall back,” I yelled. “Fall back.”
Flames were pushed toward us by the water, causing it to roar against us. When I started to turn, I saw a figure standing near the wall of burning posters.
Toad.
I waved him on and I yelled into my mask, “Fall back.”
He remained standing, staring at the incoming fire as it rose around the walls and ceiling. The other men had turned to retreat but he and I remained. Grabbing him by the suit arms, I shook him violently.
“Get it together, Toad.” I was yelling through my face mask. “You won’t die here. Not on my watch.”
His eyes were on me but the swelling of the fire on the building had him captured.
“Toad!” I yelled. “Oscar!”
One more jerk to him had his eyes trained on me.
“Hey,” I yelled. “Look at me. You can do this. I’m right here.”
His eyes moved to the flame.
“I’m right here. Won’t let nothing happen to you.” I kept yelling. “Now, let’s go.”
He nodded as if he understood and I led him out with my arm wrapped around his bicep.
We continued our search to the next two floors, arms locked, and found nobody from our vantage point.
Everyone had been evacuated from the building. This confirmed by the Maintenance Supervisor who had their entire building trained on safety protocols every quarter without fail. People even called him a Nazi about his persistence, but I could have given him a kiss. Well, maybe an award, which I suggested to the Chief that we do. There were no casualties. The fire was out after a few hours. Everyone was accounted for, but I still had not heard from Trecia.
I took off my gear and reached for my phone. No calls or text from Trecia. Maybe she was at the station or she had another issue. I headed back to the station with the EMT’s, only to find her sitting in
there with the new lady firefighter, Synergy. Her shift didn’t officially start until tomorrow, but she came in to meet everyone.
My scowl was not intended for her, but the sexy ass lady who left my bed that morning and hadn’t said a damn thing since—the scowl was for her.
“Where the fuck have you been you?” I snapped in front of everyone that was present.
Trecia’s head snapped back as if I’d struck her. I knew at that moment, I had royally fucked up.
Chapter 8
Trecia Wilson
I had the day from absolute hell and Hazard just comes in and yells at me in front of everyone, like a goddamn mad man. That shit would not fly. I don’t care if it looked like his top was about to blow, I was about to blow with him talking to me like that.
“Hazard,” I called as I stood up from the couch. “I do not know who the hell you think you are—”
“Where is your phone?” His voice was etched with agitation and frustration beyond his normal sanity.
If that were possible.
However, I wasn’t sure if it was my crazy day or the fact he completely embarrassed me in front of everybody in the day room. An awkward heat shaded my face with shame and public humiliation. If we weren’t in a relationship, I would have reamed his ass completely out. However, to preserve what respect I had left, I rolled my eyes, turned on my heel and walked out of the station.
I needed space.
I needed a two by four to beat his head in.
Well, I really just needed space.
I had the absolute day from hell. The building I was getting my birth control shot caught fire with me lying on the table, shirt off, needle barely in my arm. I made it back to the station, but this was the greeting I receive? He lost his damn mind and I really, really did not have time for it. I told him over and over again to take anger management classes. I urged him to try yoga, so he could center himself or even meditation, but Hazard would only do it if I did it. However, that was not nearly enough.
I couldn’t believe Hazard was yelling at me like a fucking buffoon.
Using my own techniques to calm down, I found the local library and went to the back where no one could see me doing my breathing exercises. This calmed my anger, but it was still simmering. Thank goodness, he did not follow me, because I swear on everything, he would have saw the Brooklyn version of Trecia before she became the professional.
The rest of the day, I steered clear but there was an unease in the atmosphere at the station. I couldn’t tell if it was just my tension with Hazard or something else that happened while I was gone. Since I was there late, I worked with the Chief and his wife, via Skype and Sub with his phantom future wife. He would not tell me who she was, but I assumed it was someone that I either knew or the other guys did. Like a sister of theirs, I could see why he didn’t want to share. But why they mistook my mediation skills for that of a counselor, I did not know.
Hazard did not try to speak to me even when I left, which hurt me more than I anticipated. For the past four weeks, we were getting along so well. Going on trips, hanging out, and binge-watching movies and tv shows during our off time. It was amazing and scary, which maybe, was where today came from with him. If I was scared, he had to be equally terrified. He shared with me about his ex, Justine, and that nonsense. The amount of loss he encountered with his father and how the chief stepped up in his life. it all confirmed he had a lot of anger, both misplaced and unchecked.
However, the question I had to ask myself when that anger came to a boil, was if I was willing to go through that with him. I never saw him as a physical threat. But when Toad said the wrong thing, Hazard was hitting first and never asking questions later. It’s his automatic. That shit would not fly.
I kept looking for my phone and realized, I left it on the table in the doctor’s office, which was not consumed by fire from this morning. I couldn’t believe how fast I threw on my blouse and ran down the fourteen flights of stairs. It was not ideal but by the time we got out, the flames were blasting out of the windows. There was no reason to stay around since I was already late but it was traumatic and that’s what I was sharing with Synergy, the new female firefighter. She was cool, so I knew I’d like her and what she would bring to Station 71.
The next day, I rescheduled my doctor’s appointment at another clinic in Brooklyn, so I could get the necessary shot. The great news was I wouldn’t have to see Hazard tomorrow or his ace, Rex, because they were off. God bless the station’s unusual schedules. It sucked when I liked seeing certain people consistently, but it was nice to have some peace while at work. Sometimes it was good not seeing Hazard just for my own peace of mind. Now, it looked like I wouldn’t have to worry about that either.
By the end of the week, not only had I not seen Hazard, I hadn’t heard from him either. In my head, it was a done deal. I only had one week left at Station 71. Granted, my chest hurt, but I would get over it, like I did the last one and the one after. Axel Hazard was a man and as my mom said, he knocked off the cobwebs and we were back to business.
I was okay.
Well, I would be okay.
Why the tears kept me up at night, I didn’t know, because I told myself not to cry. Not after only four weeks. Not over good sex. Not over great compatibility. Not over maybe I reacted too harshly. What were we even fighting about?
Fuck.
At least three times a day, I wanted to call him and apologize but my pride wouldn’t let me. It just wouldn’t. I was not in the wrong.
I wasn’t.
Therefore, I wouldn’t.
I could hear my grandma in my ear whispering, “Don’t cut off your nose, to spite your face.”
Chapter 9
Axel Hazard
My chest hurt and all I could do was pray Trecia didn’t hold a grudge like my father. When that man cut you off, you no longer existed for him.
At all.
I guess I got my temper from him in a way. That Hazard way of doing shit and fucking it up. Every time I think about him not being here, I’m reminded about why he died. Chief, his colleague at the time, told him not to go back in the building but my dad was a hot head, a lot like me. Good at his fucking job but he didn’t listen. He just wouldn’t listen to nobody. He went in, got trapped and he died. Chief carried that with him and would until he took his last breath. Which is why I know he even called a mediator in the first place, when he saw me not listening. He would no longer sit on the sidelines and watch people throw their lives away.
He learned with my dad.
Now, I needed to learn from him. Though he’s absent, I can learn from his mistakes. I took some time off, which was Trecia’s last week, but I hoped it paid off. Rex helped me get everything together. I prayed this woman felt like I did, she’d forgive me and we could continue to grow. Rex seemed sure, but he didn’t see the look on her face when I came in there, losing my shit. The look on her face said everything she didn't. I had her fucked up in more ways than one.
Rex told me about the time he yelled at his wife for doing some daredevil stunt and he shut down the garage door of her body for two weeks. I would have normally laughed but Rex’s wife was the sweetest thing on this side of the Bronx, and if two weeks was her maximum, what the hell would Trecia do?
Not one call, text or even ask someone where I was? I tried to not be resentful since I was doing the same thing but that shit hurt my heart. I didn’t share that, but it did.
Follow the steps, I kept telling myself.
Follow the damn steps.
During my time off, Toad called me and asked if I was okay.
“Yeah, man. I’m fine,” I replied while looking at the phone like it was going to jump out of my hand.
I didn’t even know the man had my phone number.
“Just wanted to check on you and, uh…” he trailed off.
“Toad, what’s going on? Did something happen?” I asked, with urgency in my voice at the probie’s inquiry.
“No, no. Nothi
ng happened, Hazard.” He paused. “I just wanted to say, uh, thank you for the other day. You saved my life and I’ve been more than a shit to you. To everyone. I didn’t quite get what you were saying. Like my mom says, a little full of myself. But when you’re literally saving lives, it’s not about you, right? I mean, what if it was someone in that building. They would have died because of me and I don’t want that on my conscious. I just…I just wanted to say thanks for saving me and giving me the real. I guess that’s why you’re the team leader, huh. I promise to do better. Anyway, that’s was all.”
If I hadn’t seen the way the man froze in that building, I would have thought his calling me was a prank. This could not be believed but I was glad the lesson was learned without any casualties.
“Man, thanks for calling to say that. I appreciate it but more I am glad you got that now and not later. I should have done a better job of teaching you that without using my fist but I’m working on it, okay?” I chuckled a bit. “Anyway, that right there is what will make you a good fireman. It’s not how fast, how smart or how strong you are. It’s about team work. So, I vow to be a better leader, just as you’ve vowed to do better, deal?”
“Yeah, deal.” He answered. “When are you coming back?”
“Soon,” I answered. “Hey, I might need your help with something.”
“Okay, I’m in.”
“Perfect.”
****
On Friday of Trecia’s last day, the firefighters of Station 71 came together and threw a big shindig for her departure. I came in half-way through to see her laughing with Rex and Joe. On cue, Toad and Cheeto started arguing. I went to break it up and said, “How the fuck y’all going to start fighting on the last day of the mediator? Chief, I think we need to keep her on.”
The chief looked around and said, “Fine by me. Never seen the team so great since she arrived.”
“Or,” Rex said. “They could go through mediation.”
“Yeah,” I chimed in. “You two, have a seat and let’s do this.”