by Karen Booth
“Okay. Thanks. We’ll talk soon.” Jacob hung up and shoved his phone back into his pocket. So much for being a financial wizard. That wasn’t going to keep him warm at night.
* * *
Anna couldn’t sit in the house anymore. She needed fresh air, so she made her way outside to the driveway and set her overnight bag next to Jacob’s car.
The notion of the end of their getaway was all too depressing. Last night had shattered her expectations. Just thinking about the things they had done together, his touch against her skin, every white-hot kiss, made her tingle. They’d flipped on a switch and completed a circuit, but that could be turned off just as easily, couldn’t it?
She felt as if he’d answered the question mere moments ago, when he went out to the garage to spend some time with his beloved motorcycles. He’d patted her back on his way out the door, like a pal—as a buddy would do. He’d been distant all morning. It was hard not to take the hint. Last night was in the past. Today, he was moving forward.
She kicked a pebble into a puddle. It had rained at some point in the middle of the night, which left behind a grayish-blue sky with only the wispiest of white clouds. They would have a gloomy ride back to Manhattan, a fitting precursor to what was waiting for her when they got there—family, responsibilities that were more important than a fling. She didn’t want to think about it too hard. She wanted to be back in Jacob’s bed, curled up in the sheets, pillows cast aside, the rest of the world an afterthought.
So if this was a one-time occurrence, could she be content with that? She caught a glimpse of Jacob as he came out of the garage. The answer was clear as she watched the way he moved. One night would not be enough. In jeans and a gray sweater, clothes that were nothing special on any other man, he was stunning. He lowered his sunglasses, which had been nestled in his thick head of hair. Not being able to see more of him, in every sense of the word, would be such a disappointment. But was that realistic? Considering the circumstances, she feared it was not.
“I need to grab one more thing inside,” he called to her from the flagstone walkway in front of the house.
“No problem. Take your time,” she answered.
A muffled version of her cell phone ringtone sounded. Who’s calling me on a Sunday morning? She fished it from the bottom of her bag, her stomach flip-flopping when she saw the name on the caller ID. Talk about an abrupt jerk back to reality. Adam. She walked away from the car with a finger jammed in her ear. “Adam. Hi. Everything okay?”
“Hey there, Anna Banana. How are you?”
Anna was about to ask if he was feeling well. He hadn’t called her by that nickname in years. “I’m good. What’s up?” Paranoid thoughts whirred through her brain. Did he have some way of knowing where she was? Of what she was up to? Every bold feeling she’d had yesterday about throwing caution to the wind was now haunting her; it enveloped her with a crushing sense of guilt. She wasn’t the girl to sneak around, to hide things from her brother.
“I feel badly about our talk the other night. I was going to call you yesterday, but Mel and I were doing all sorts of wedding stuff. I’m really sorry about the way I spoke to you.”
“That’s nice, Adam, but you seemed pretty certain about what you were saying at the time.”
“I know, but I was caught up in the heat of the moment. I don’t want you to think that I don’t want you in place as CEO. I do. I definitely do. And I believe in you. It’s just...it’s been hard. I think you know that.”
Had he called to apologize or was he searching for validation? “I do know that. This has been hard for me, too.”
He blew out a deep breath. “Look, Mel and I had a long talk last night. I swear, she’s so good at figuring out what’s going on with me. It’s uncanny. I realize now that losing Dad has been much more difficult than I imagined. I knew it would be tough, but not this bad. And the pressure at work. Well, I think I just haven’t been myself.”
She hadn’t quite expected he would come to this realization, ever. Adam had a real affinity for being detached when needed. The pain of losing her dad sat squarely in her chest. It was somehow more pronounced now, realizing that it weighed on Adam just as much. “I know it’s been hard. I should’ve been more patient with you. I know you’re doing your best.”
“And I realized just how hard I’m being on you, which is so stupid on my part. You’re my biggest ally. You’re the one person I know I can trust with anything and I’m shutting you out. It’s not only stupid, it’s not fair to you.”
The one person I can trust. The words echoed in her head. And here she was, hours away, with the man her brother had told her to stay away from. “Thank you for saying that.”
“So, starting tomorrow morning, you and I need to get together our plan for moving you in as CEO.”
It felt as if her heart had just stopped. Was he really saying that? Was he really willing to finally move forward? “We do?”
“Yes. You know, the board of directors is never going to be happy. If I sit around waiting for them to fall in line, you’ll never get to take the job you want and I’ll never get to return to what I want to do.”
Jacob emerged from the house. The smile on his face was everything she wanted to see, while everything she wanted to hear was coming at her over the phone from her brother. She should’ve been happy, but she knew full well that these two things did not peacefully coexist in the real world. There was no having both.
“Does this mean you’ve changed your mind about Sunny Side?”
He groaned, making Anna regret even bringing it up. “I don’t want to dismiss your idea again. Let’s keep an eye on it. Maybe Jacob will take himself out of the mix. I refuse to touch it before then.”
“Ready?” Jacob asked, walking around to her side of the car and opening her door.
“Did you say something?” Adam asked.
Inside, she was begging Jacob to please not say another word. Her heart pounded in her chest. This was far too messy. She had to get off the phone right away. “I have to go, but thanks for calling. I really appreciate it. A lot.”
“I have confidence in you, kiddo. I really do. I just had to pull my head out of my rear end for a few minutes.”
She sighed. How she’d longed for this moment—to hear Adam say that she was right about something, about anything, that he had confidence in her. “Thank you. That means a lot.”
“See you at work tomorrow.”
“Yep. See you then.”
Anna put her phone back in her purse. Was she the worst human being on the planet? It felt that way. At best, she was a rotten sister for taking up with Jacob and pursuing Sunny Side behind Adam’s back.
“Everything okay?” Jacob asked.
“Yes. Just fine.” She nodded and climbed into the car, her conversation with Adam replaying in her head. You’re the one person I can trust. Was it time to climb out of her dream? To keep Jacob where he was—a fun, amazing fling that had come to an end? The answer seemed clear. She’d scratched the itch and now she had to remain loyal to her brother and her own dream job. She’d worked so hard, and it was presuming a lot to even wonder if Jacob was interested in more. He’d been withdrawn all morning.
He started the car and turned on a news talk station. “I want to get caught up on the financial news. Back to work tomorrow morning, you know.”
Anna leaned her head against the car window. Back to work. “Yes. I know.”
Five hours later, they were pulling up in front of her building. “Let me get your door,” he said, reaching for the handle on his own.
“No. Hold on.” She grabbed his forearm. “I feel like we should talk.” She probably should’ve brought this up during the ride, but she’d chickened out every time. Maybe this was better. At least she had an escape.
Jacob shut off the radio and turned to her.
“Yes. Of course.”
“I had a really wonderful weekend,” she started, already feeling remorseful about what she was about to say. It was the smart thing to do, the right thing to do. It was also the last thing she wanted to do.
“Good. I’m glad. I did, too.”
“It’s just that...” she sighed deeply. “I like you a lot, but we need to be honest with ourselves. It probably wasn’t the smartest thing in the world, considering that we have my family to contend with. I don’t see Adam changing his mind any time soon, possibly ever, and my family is really important to me. I just think it will cause a rift that won’t be good for me. Or you, for that matter.”
“I see.” He took his sunglasses out of the cup holder and put them on. “Whatever you want, Anna. You won’t get an argument from me.”
Was he hurt? Disappointed? His voice was so cold, his tone so aloof, it was impossible to know, but she had a pretty good guess. The night before, everything she’d dreamed of all those years ago, had been nothing but a one-night stand to him. “Okay. Great. I guess I’ll talk to you at some point? About Sunny Side?”
He nodded, looking straight ahead through the windshield. “I’ll call you if I have any information to share.”
“Perfect.” She climbed out of the car, closed the door and didn’t look back.
This was for the best, but it felt absolutely wretched.
Eight
Telling Jacob “thanks, but no thanks” was the hardest thing Anna had done in a very long time. Four days later and it felt downright stupid.
“Still nothing from, you know, him?” Holly asked, setting a salad down on Anna’s desk. They’d taken to eating lunches together in Anna’s office since the executive dining room was no fun. Rumors of a LangTel takeover were rampant, but if it was happening, the perpetrator hadn’t come to light.
“Shhh,” Anna admonished, leaping out of her seat and making sure her door was firmly closed.
“It’s not like I said his name.” Holly dug into her own salad as if they were discussing the five-day forecast.
“Sorry,” Anna whispered, heading back to her desk. “It’s just, you know. If Adam found out, he would not be happy. You’re literally the only person on the planet who knows about it.”
“I feel so privileged to have this information that could get me fired.”
“I’m sorry. I hope this isn’t bothering you to know. I just had to tell somebody or I was going to go insane. And like it or not, you’re my best friend.”
“Don’t worry. I’m very good at keeping my mouth shut.”
Anna sighed. “To answer your question, no, I haven’t heard from him, and it’s been four days. I don’t know why, but I can’t stop thinking about him.” Of course she couldn’t stop thinking about him. It’d been an aeon since she’d felt so alive. But she’d made the sensible decision, choosing to put her career and family at center stage. Those were things she could rely on. Those were things that couldn’t be yanked out from under her. After the last year, she needed to know that she was standing on solid ground, even if this particular patch of land still left her wanting more of Jacob.
“Sex will do that to a person, you know,” Holly quipped. “Especially if you’ve gone long enough without it.”
It was more than sex, though. She couldn’t bring herself to utter those words, especially not to Holly, the woman of zero filter, but it was the truth. Anna hadn’t had that kind of connection with a man, well, ever. Perhaps it was the shared history between herself and Jacob, everything she’d spent years anticipating and thinking she’d never have, but it felt even more elemental than that. They fit together—shared dreams, similar mind-sets and aspirations. The physical fit was certainly impossible to ignore. In bed, the fit was mind-blowing. “I guess. Not much I can do about it, though. The drama of my family is too much, and he seemed all too ready to agree.”
“Men and their axes to grind. Two women would never allow it to get this bad. They’d smile to each other’s faces and do that phony nice speak, then bad-mouth them the minute the other person turned their back. It’s much more civilized if you think about it.”
Talk about uncivilized—one of Anna’s coworkers had uttered Jacob’s name in a meeting the day before, and Adam literally kicked the guy out of the meeting. No explanation, just an invitation to get the hell out. He’d softened his approach with her, but he was still being extraordinarily hard on everyone else.
Anna was picking through her salad when her cell phone lit up. Jacob’s name popped up on the screen. She dropped her fork into the bowl.
“Who is it?” Holly asked. “You look like you just saw a ghost.”
“It’s Jacob.”
“What are you waiting for?” Her voice was at a near-panic. “Answer it.”
Anna wiped her mouth with a napkin and picked up the phone. What in the world could he be calling about? Nothing about their circumstances had changed. She stifled the hope that rose in her chest, that he was calling because he had to see her.
“Jacob, hi.” She brandished her hand at Holly to shoo her out of her office, but Holly just sat back in her chair. Anna bugged her eyes. “Please go,” she mouthed.
“Fine.” Holly feigned sadness by jutting out her lower lip and begrudgingly got up from the chair.
“Is this a good time?” Jacob asked. Even when he was being entirely too businesslike, his voice was so sexy that it shook her to her core.
“Yes. Of course.”
“I didn’t want to assume, since you’re at work, but it’s important and I didn’t want you to hear this from anyone else but me.”
Her heart began to beat furiously in her chest. “Hear what?”
“Sunny Side is going to have to go on hold. The patent has been delayed and there’s a design flaw they have to work through. It’s pretty routine with a technology like this, but it could be another few months until a sale is in the mix. They want to put their best foot forward with whomever they partner with, and I’ve advised them that that’s a sound strategy.”
Anna took in a deep breath through her nose. She fought her disappointment that he hadn’t called about something personal. At least he had what might end up being good news—a delay could be fantastic for her. By the time Sunny Side was ready to sell, she might be in place as CEO and she could make the call. “I see. Well, I appreciate you keeping me up to speed on things.”
“I hope you don’t feel like our weekend was a waste of time because of this.”
A waste of time? Does he feel that way? “Of course I don’t. It was an amazing trip.” There were hundreds more things she wanted to say to him, but could she make that leap? Could she even hint just how badly she wished they could do it all over again? And should she even cross that line again? “It was great. Both personally and professionally.”
“Good. I’m glad to hear that you still feel like that.”
Her mind was whirring like a broken blender. Why did it feel as if he was calling about more? And if he was, why wasn’t he just getting to it? It wasn’t like him to tiptoe about things. “You didn’t really think that I only cared about Sunny Side, did you?”
“No, I didn’t. I just wanted to be sure.” He cleared his throat. “Anna, I have to tell you something else. I’m actually glad that the delay with Sunny Side happened because it gave me an excuse to call you.”
“You don’t need an excuse. We’re friends, aren’t we?”
“Friends with a very complicated set of circumstances.”
That much was indeed true. It didn’t change the fact that she was hopelessly drawn to him. “So just call me whenever. You don’t need an excuse.” A long silence played out on the other end of the line. Had she nudged things too far? Was he now trying to find a way out of this phone call?
“Okay, good. Because I’m calling y
ou right now to tell you that I can’t stop thinking about you.”
She smiled so wide that she witnessed the rise of her own cheeks. Her heart had apparently gotten the memo—it sprang into action by thumping her pulse in her ears. “Really?” Anna dug the heel of her pump into the office carpet, wagging herself back and forth in her chair, ultimately propelling herself into a lazy spin.
“It’s especially bothersome when I’m trying to go to sleep.”
She dropped her foot, stopping the chair. “Oh. I see.”
“I just keep thinking about what it was like to be with you. I keep thinking about touching you, kissing you. I want to be able to do that again.”
“You do?” Her mind went there—a gloriously wild confusion of every sexy moment they shared together...the way his butt looked when he walked away from her, the way his mouth went slack when she did something that pleased him. And then there was the dark, intense stare he gave her when he had her pinned beneath his bodyweight, taking his time, making sure she relished every subtle move he made.
“Yes, I do. I also would appreciate it if you would stop asking questions and give me some indication as to how you feel about this. Right now I feel like I’m having one-sided phone sex.”
If she blurted out everything going through her head right now, he wouldn’t get a word in edgewise for a week. “I can’t stop thinking about you, either.” Something about making the admission was so freeing, however vulnerable it made her.
“Go on.” His voice rumbled over the line.
“And I’m having the same problem. I can’t sleep. I just lie there in the dark and replay everything that happened last weekend.”
“Good.” His declaration had a confounding finality to it.
Anna furrowed her brow. “Good?”
“No more questions. I’m sending a car to pick you up at five.”
“I have a meeting at four-thirty.”
“Is it important?”
What was it about the velvety quality of his voice that made her want to not merely throw caution to the wind, but send it through a paper shredder? Taking directives from a man was not on the list of things she enjoyed doing. In fact, she usually went out of her way to avoid it, but this was different. She not only knew what he was implying, but precisely what he was capable of. “I’ll reschedule.”