And now you’re only days away from your exams. After all you went through you’ll now have a degree. I’ll be proud watching you accept that scroll Rosie; I’ll be the proudest dad in the world.
Love,
Dad
FROM:Rosie
TO:Alex
SUBJECT:Degree
There’s no way I’m giving this college course up now. In the wise words of Johnny Logan, what’s another year? I’m going to do these exams and I’m going to get this degree in Hotel Management. Dad wouldn’t want himself to be the reason for me missing out.
It’s the good-bye I needed, Alex. What a wonderful, wonderful gift to be given.
FROM:Julie
TO:Rosie
SUBJECT:Staying with me?
So you’re staying with me another year then?
I’ll allow you, but after that, once you have your degree I’m serious when I say I’m firing you. I’m 56 years old; I don’t have much longer at this job to be waiting for you to fulfill your dreams.
This year the courses will be a breeze, first because you’ve done it before and second and more important because you have the good wishes and pride of your father behind you. That’s the best motivation a person could get.
Do you mind me asking what is it about these hotels that you love so much?
FROM:Rosie
TO:Julie
SUBJECT:Why I love hotels!
I just get this feeling when I walk into really nice hotels. For me they represent everything in life that’s luxurious and full of splendor. I love that people pamper you and look after you. Everything is so clean and pristine, so completely perfect. So unlike home, well my home anyway.
I love that people go to enjoy themselves; it’s not so much a place of work as being a host in paradise.
I get excited by the sparkling bathrooms, the big fluffy robes, the slippers, and the décor. Where else would you find chocolate on your pillow? It’s like the tooth fairy and Santa Claus all at once. There’s 24-hour room service and bouncy padded carpets, turned-down beds and minibars, bowls of fruit and free shampoo. I feel like I’m Charlie in the chocolate factory. Everything you want is at your disposal, all you have to do is pick up the phone and press the magic number and the people on the other end of the phone are only too delighted to help.
To stay in one is the ultimate treat; to work in one would be an everyday pleasure. When I finish this course I’m automatically placed in a hotel as a temporary manager in training so I just know that there’s a job for me at the end of the rainbow.
You have an instant message from: RUBY
Ruby:Hello stranger.
Rosie: Oh hi Ruby, sorry it’s been so long; I’ve had a lot on lately.
Ruby:No apologies needed. How’s your mum?
Rosie: Not great. That tear reservoir still hasn’t dried up. She’s coming to stay with me for a little while.
Ruby:In the flat?
Rosie: Yes.
Ruby: How’s that going to work? You don’t have any spare rooms.
Rosie: Oh gosh it has been ages since I spoke to you. After many days of deliberations with Brian the Whine I eventually gave in and have decided to allow Katie to stay with him in Ibiza for the summer. I must be crazy because no matter how much Brian the Whine assures me that he’s a responsible father who will keep an eye on his daughter, I can’t stop thinking of the fact that he ran off when he found out I was pregnant and only returned when she was 13. I’m not too keen on his definition of responsible. Plus he will be working nights so I don’t know how he’ll know what she’s up to.
Ruby: The good thing about Brian being her father is that he’s the owner of a seedy night club on the part of an island where he’s used to seeing what exactly 16-year-olds get up to. He will not want his daughter joining in with that kind of fun. Trust me. Anyway she’ll be on her own, how much partying can a girl do on her own?
Rosie: You really want the answer to that question? Anyway her boyfriend John is going to join her for a few weeks and Toby and his girlfriend are going over for a holiday too. But I can’t put up too much of a fight because Brian the Whine is good enough to spend most of the year here for Katie and he needs to be over there during the summer. There has to be a bit of give and take, and Katie has never actually seen her own father’s home. Also Brian said he would make sure she gets a bit of experience DJ-ing while she’s there which would be brilliant for her.
Ruby:Have you convinced yourself enough yet?
Rosie: God does it really sound like that?
Ruby:Yep.
Rosie: Well, without wanting to sound like a complete moan (because we all know I’m not one to moan) this summer is going to be really lonely for me. I could be really selfish and not let her go just for my sake and Mum is only staying with me a short while before she’s off again. A few people Mum and Dad met while they were on their cruise last year got in touch with Mum. They’re planning a trip to South Africa and they’re going to stay for a month. That was the next place Dad wanted to go to. He always used to watch National Geographic and swear he would one day go on a safari. Well he’s going now because Mum is taking his ashes and scattering them with the tigers and elephants. She’s really happy with the idea so I’m not going to get in her way. Kevin is a bit upset about it, he wants to have a place for Dad so that we can all visit, but Mum insists this is what Dad would want. She’s the woman who knew him best; I don’t know why Kev is causing such a fuss. He barely visited Dad when he was alive, I can’t imagine him visiting his cremation site every day. Come to think of it, maybe that’s what his problem is.
Anyway she doesn’t want to stay in Connemara a moment longer on her own so she’s coming to stay with me for two weeks before she heads off. But after that, everyone is gone. Mum, Dad, Katie, Steph, Kev, and Alex. I’m all alone and because it’s the summer and the school is closed all I have to do is to study.
Ruby:You think that maybe this is a sign to meet more people?
Rosie: I know, I know. I’m alone by my own choosing. When I was 18 everyone my age wanted to talk about boys not babies, at 22 they wanted to talk about college not teething, at 30 they wanted to talk about marriage not divorce, and now when I’m 36 and finally willing to talk about men and college, all people want to do is talk about babies. I’ve tried all these coffee morning things, I’ve tried chatting to other mothers as we waited at the school gates for our children. It didn’t work. Nobody understands me like you do Ruby.
Ruby: And even I have trouble with that. You’re unique Rosie Dunne, you’re definitely unique. But I’m here for you and unless me and Gary miraculously become Ireland’s salsa champions and are whisked off to Madrid for the European championship, I ain’t going nowhere.
Rosie: Thanks.
Ruby: No problem. So when are you going to start dating again? It’s been a few years since you’ve been in action!
Rosie: Excuse me, did I not go out on a date with Adam, whom you set me up with? Anyway apart from that enjoyable night with Adam, it’s not like dating was ever that brilliant for me to miss.
Ruby:Really?
Rosie: Oh please, sex with what’s-his-name was so mechanical. He used to move in time to the bloody bedside alarm clock that ticked so loudly it would keep me awake (at night of course, not during sex).
Sex with Brian the Whine was a mere drunken fumble in the dark so I can’t even remember that. I’ve only ever been with 3 men and two of them aren’t the greatest advertisements for men either. I don’t think I’ll ever meet my Don Juan. I don’t really care either. What you don’t know, you don’t miss.
Ruby: But doesn’t what you don’t know make you even the teeny tiniest bit curious?
Rosie: No. I have a shit job with shit pay, a shit flat with shit rent. I have no time for shit sex with a shit man.
Ruby:Rosie!
Rosie: What? I’m serious.
Ruby: I just cannot believe my ears. I’m flabbergasted by this news. OK I’m t
aking you out clubbing at the weekend.
Rosie: Clubbing? Do you really think bringing me to a place where I am 10 years older than everyone is really going to make me feel better? You think young hot-blooded males are interested in 36-year-old, out of shape, single mothers these days? I don’t think so. I think they’re interested in women with breasts resting above their belly buttons.
Ruby: Oh don’t exaggerate. You’re 36 not 96! And I met my Teddy in a nightclub and he may not be Brad Pitt but what he lacks in looks he makes up for in the bedroom department.
Rosie: Really? You mean to tell me that sex is good with Teddy?
Ruby:Well I’m not with the man for conversation am I?
Rosie: Of course not, I’m not that stupid. I knew there was something keeping you two together, but sex was the last thing on my mind.
Ruby: Well all that’s going to change now, so come on let’s go out and have a good time.
Rosie: Honestly Ruby, thanks but no thanks. I really have no interest in meeting anyone. And if I did what would I do, bring him home to meet my grieving mother sleeping in the room next door?
Ruby: I suppose you have a point, but I’m not letting you get away with this for much longer. Sooner or later you’re going to have to start enjoying yourself again. You recognize that word, Rosie? Enjoy. To have fun.
Rosie: Never heard of it.
Ruby: Fine then, we’ll go to the pub again this weekend but after that I’m putting you back on the market.
Rosie: OK but trust me when I say I’m only going for full asking price. And if no one’s interested in buying I’m not taking on any renters.
Ruby:What about squatters?
Rosie: Ha ha ha. All trespassers will be prosecuted.
Ruby: I can just picture you standing there with a shotgun in hand ordering men off your land.
Rosie: Now you’re getting the picture.
CHAPTER 44
Dear Mum,
Sorry I didn’t write sooner but I’ve been so busy ever since I landed that I haven’t had the chance to pick up a pen. It’s really hot here at the moment so I’m trying to work on my tan before John comes over. I want him seeing me as a complete beach babe!
Dad collected me from the airport which was a weird experience. Weird to see him dressed up, or I should say dressed down in shorts and flip-flops. I didn’t know he had legs. You would have laughed if you’d seen him, he was wearing this navy blue Hawaiian-style shirt with yellow flowers splattered all over it, although he insisted it was black (by the way I believe you now about his debs suit being navy, he is completely color-blind).
He has an electric blue convertible which is pretty cool (he thinks it’s black) as I’ve never been in a convertible before. The island is so beautiful. He lives in a really nice complex just outside the busy part of town and there are about ten white painted villas that share a swimming pool. There’s a really cute guy that lives straight across from Dad who just swims and sunbathes all day. He’s so brown and muscley and such a babe so I spend the entire day by the pool drooling. Dad is freaking out and keeps telling him to put his shirt on. He’s trying to be funny but no one really laughs. Speaking of cute guys I can’t wait for John to come over, I miss him like crazy. Two weeks is far too long to be without him and I still have another week to go, it’s not natural.
Toby and Monica are coming over next week which should be good fun as long as Monica keeps her gob shut. They’re both staying in a hotel in town and there’s loads of cool clubs around them. But before you go ape shit let me tell you that the day I arrived, Dad brought me up and down the street of bars and clubs and introduced me to all the bouncers and managers and told them I was his daughter. I thought he was doing it so that they’d recognize me and let me in but when I went up to one of the bars last week not one of them let me in. Not one. I thought they were doing it because they hated Dad and they were trying to piss him off or something, but yesterday a bouncer from the club down the road came up to Dad’s club with his fifteen-year-old son who was staying with him for the summer too and introduced him to Dad and all the head doormen. Then I heard Dad tell the guys at the door to remember the boy’s face and not to let him in. That’s obviously the way it works around here.
I’ve just been going to Dad’s club most nights. I was allowed to stand in the DJ box all night just watching the DJ work. It’s crazy over here. Dad’s club is really cool. It’s packed every night and you can barely move on the dance floor. No one seems to care though; it seems the more packed and stuffy a place is, the more popular it is.
The resident DJ is DJ Sugar (He. Is. Gorgeous!) and he was showing me what to do all night and he even let me take over for a few minutes. The entire point was for the crowd not to notice I had taken over because I wanted to sound as good and professional as Sugar but I looked up and everyone was staring at me because Dad had a massive camera in his hand and was trying to get people to pose for the camera in front of the DJ box. It was so embarrassing.
I met Dad’s girlfriend.
She’s twenty-eight, her name’s Lisa, and she’s a dancer in the club. She dances on a podium that’s about ten feet off the ground over everyone’s heads, in the center of the club. She dances inside a ring of fire in a tiger-print piece of material that she wraps around her body (I wouldn’t even call it a dress). She’s from Bristol in England and she moved over here to become a dancer when she was my age. She said she worked in a club down the road (which I’m presuming is the strip club) and she met Dad and he offered her a job (I don’t want to know how or where they met).
She’s talking about bringing a snake into her act next because she bought a new snakeskin costume and she thinks it’ll look cool. I told her to dance with Dad. (I think you possessed my body for a minute.) Anyway, Dad thinks she’s crazy and refuses to get her a snake and they’ve been arguing about it all week. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that everyone is so drunk in the club I don’t think they’d notice if Lisa was dancing with an elephant, never mind a snake. She says she wants to do it so she can put it in her CV. Dad asked her if she was planning on applying for a job with the circus. They’re funny to listen to. It’s not arguing arguing, it’s like a comedy act. I’ve never heard two people disagree on so many things but still get along so well. I think they both enjoy it.
I’ve just realized that you and I have never been on a sun holiday together. In fact apart from visiting Steph and Alex have you ever been away away? You and me can go away next year when I’ve finally finished school and I’m enjoying my freedom. You’ll have finished your degree by then too so the two of us can celebrate!
I hope your studying is going well, at least you don’t have me there distracting you from your work. If Rupert blares his music too loud just bang down on the floor and he’ll turn it down. That’s what I do.
I’ll write again soon. I miss you!
Love,
Katie
Dear Rosie,
I’m writing to you from Cape Town in South Africa which is so stunning you would hate me for being here. The rest of the group are taking good care of me so don’t you worry about that. And because they all knew Dennis from the cruise it’s nice to be able to talk to them about him and remember the funny times we had. There’s another lady here who has also lost her husband and this is her first holiday alone so we both tend to get teary-eyed together at times. I’m glad she’s here because we both understand each other and what we’re going through.
I miss Dennis very much. He would have loved this holiday. In a way he is here with me. I don’t care how nuts Kevin thinks I am, I’ve scattered your father’s ashes. Some into the air, some into the water, and some into the ground. He’s all around me now. I know this is what he would have wanted. He told me not to let him rot away six feet under or remain a pile of ashes on the mantelpiece. This way he’s floating through the air all around the world. Seeing more of it than me now. I saw it as sending him off on his final adventure.
Some da
ys are very difficult and I just want to phone you up and have a good cry, but being here is a nice distraction. Not only that, it’s a nice place to grieve if you have to. Kevin doesn’t understand me at all, he thinks I should be wearing black and visiting a graveside every day like a miserable old soul. But I won’t do it. Honestly I don’t know where he gets his way of thinking at all. We have three weeks left and already the gang are talking about traveling some more after! They have a lot of contacts in the travel world so we could get some really terrific deals. I may as well keep spending my savings because it’s no good wherever I’m going next.
I hope Katie is getting on well in Ibiza and that Brian is taking good care of her. He seems to have turned into a decent, hardworking man so I wouldn’t worry, my dear Rosie. Could you please pass on the enclosed letter for Katie, I wasn’t sure of her address.
I’m sure you’re delighted to have a bit of peace and quiet while you’re studying. I hope Ruby is leaving you well alone too and not dragging you out for too many nights on the town!!
Good luck with the studying, love.
I love you and miss you,
Mum
FROM:Ruby
TO:Rosie
SUBJECT:Bye!
Hi Rosie, just a quick e-mail to let you know the great news! Teddy and I got a cheap last-minute holiday to Croatia today. €199 each for a fortnight including accommodation and flights. How cheap is that?! The reason for the cheapness is because the flight is leaving tonight! So I’m throwing all my clothes into my case at the same time as typing this (multitalented, I know). Do you think it’s too late for me to get the perfect beach bod? Maybe I won’t eat the food on the plane and we’ll see what difference that’ll make. Maybe I’ll fit into that thong after all, ha ha.
Love, Rosie Page 31