by Kay Mares
“So Father, I should judge and assess, if able, each person and situation then respond accordingly such as a Darcy would. With honor and integrity.”
“Something like that.” Gregory smiles at him. From here on Gregory will notice a slight pause before Fitzwilliam answers a question or makes any move. As he ages, he will employ the word, indeed, before he answers which gives him the few moments needed to assess what a person wants of him. It has the added benefit of making the other person acutely aware of the scrutiny Fitzwilliam has placed upon him.
It is some weeks later Anne and Gregory have some wonderful news to tell their son. They suspected Anne might be with her second child and the hope has been confirmed. Fitzwilliam will become an older brother. To say he is excited would be an understatement. His father’s lecture from before has struck a nerve with the contemplative boy so now he endeavors to put that wisdom into action. Fitzwilliam always asks and makes sure his mother has refreshments available, he goes forth and gathers flowers from both the outdoors and the conservatory, so she has something as beautiful as she is. Fitzwilliam asks questions about the baby, and of course, some of the questions make Anne blush, so she refers him to his father. When he first requested to help with the refurbishing of the nursery, Anne and Mrs. Reynolds laughed the idea off, but his eye for detail impressed them as he often found items of concern which needed to be addressed. He lacked any talent for decorating or blending color schemes, he left that to the ladies, but by addressing the safety of the room for an infant, he assured a clean and comfortable environment free of drafts or anything else which might present a hazard.
Fitzwilliam just turned ten when he received the news about his coming sibling, so he sought out George to tell him. “I am soon to be a brother.” He announces to the seven-year-old. George is digging a rut in the dirt with a stick and pouting. He has just been lashed by Mr. Wickham for failing to do his studies. The admonishment that he should be grateful to Mr. Darcy has rubbed the rebellious boy the wrong way and his ego smarts more than his behind. Now he has to listen to this nob blather about some stupid baby. Life just isn’t fair in George’s mind.
“Well lucky for you. I would not be so happy if I were you. Remember what happened to my mother. She died all because of a stupid baby girl who wasn’t even strong enough to survive. It’s a big waste. Nothing became of it for me.” The sullen boy eyes Sheldon with a coveting stare. “You really ought to get a bigger horse. You are becoming too tall for that pony.” George watches intently as Fitzwilliam climbs down and looks over Sheldon. “Why don’t you get a regular sized horse and give Sheldon to me? I’ll take good care of him. Maybe even better than you. I would not force him to jump objects which are too tall for him.” George gives a lazy smile.
“Come now George, you know it was you who suggested that jump. I am only sorry I listened to your foolishness.” Fitzwilliam’s eyes flash, and George knows he is angry.
“Come on now Fitz; I was only teasing. Really, you should not be so upset. I remember daring you to do it and whoo boy! You almost cleared it. Really, I’m not sure I would have been brave enough to try it.” Fitzwilliam’s temper eases, but he is annoyed with George’s obvious pandering to his vanity; he finds it to agitate him. In fact, he has begun to notice the same trait in some of the other children, causing him to wonder if they really like him or instead what he could offer as Master Fitzwilliam. The thought is bothersome but not as much as what George had reminded him of when he first rode up. George’s own mother perished shortly after the birth of a sickly daughter. The thought of the same happening to his own mother frightens him, and Fitzwilliam quickly scrambles aboard Sheldon, sending the pony into a rapid lope towards home without a farewell to George. “Wonder what got into him?” George murmurs as he makes his way to the creek simply to waste time.
Once home and after his pony has been attended to, Fitzwilliam searches for father to ask him about what George said. Gregory assures his son that while the birth process can be dangerous, it is natural and most women weather it quite well. After his son departs, Gregory curses Sir Lewis once more for his folly. Meanwhile, Fitzwilliam seeks out his grandfather to see if the gentleman feels it is time for Fitzwilliam to move up to a full-sized horse. Grandfather Darcy sees the wisdom in that idea so after receiving permission from Gregory to pick out a new mount, Grandfather and Fitzwilliam make their way to the stables to view suitable prospects. Grandfather sees through Fitzwilliam’s detached attitude regarding Sheldon so he suggests a new mount for riding while breaking Sheldon to a cart so Fitzwilliam will not have to give the pony up. Most of the summer saw grandfather and grandson training the pony, and by autumn, he is a safe and sensible cart pony. Fitzwilliam’s new horse is a striking grey Thoroughbred of middling height, perfect for him to grow into yet not so big as to be unmanageable. Fitzwilliam knows eventually he will have to give this horse up too as he seems destined to grow taller than his father or grandfather but for now the horse is perfect. He has more spunk than Sheldon, so Fitzwilliam names him Spitfire.
Chapter 7
Something is wrong. Something is terribly, terribly wrong. Lady Anne has birthed a perfectly beautiful and delicate baby girl with a mere wisp of light hair and tiny but perfect features. However, the worry is not for the baby but rather for her mother. While the baby nursed and flourished for the first few weeks, Lady Anne seemed to grow paler and weaker. Fitzwilliam stays with his mother, reading to her, singing to her and bringing her flowers. Gregory is beside himself with anxiety as he watches his lover, partner, and confidant slip further away. He too remains at her bedside as the nurse assumes all the duties for the infant Georgiana. The three Darcys pray together and take their meals together on trays in Lady Anne’s room. Lady Anne has little to no appetite and only brightens when Fitzwilliam comes into the room or when her infant daughter is handed to her for a brief cuddle. Grandfather Darcy takes over the running of Pemberley while Gregory spends time with his wife. The adults know what her continued weakening condition bodes but they try to hide their fears from Fitzwilliam. However, the boy senses his mother is in danger. In spite of Fitzwilliam’s extra attention to her and his diligence to make sure her every need is met, he knows he is losing his mother.
One afternoon Lady Anne is in her quarters resting, and Fitzwilliam is looking at his sister as she sleeps in her crib. He makes a vow to himself that Georgiana will never have to worry about anything as he will protect her and watch over her. He feels by doing so, he will be honoring his mother. Mrs. Reynolds comes in and tells him his mother is awake and wishes to speak to him. He dashes up the stairs and after knocking on her door, enters the room. His eyes scan the bedchamber making sure everything is in order, and the flowers he has brought her are displayed properly. Lady Anne holds out her hand and beckons him to her bedside. Fitzwilliam sits on the side of the bed as his mother gathers her strength. She reaches a hand out to the lock of dark hair which has fallen across one eye. Then she studies his face as if trying to memorize each detail as she looks into those blue eyes. The intelligence and warmth in them battle an icy coldness for domination, and more often it seems as if a cold intelligence has won out.
“Fitzwilliam, I want you to know how much I love you. You are the light of my life, you and your father have given me such happiness and bliss. Now I want to tell you some things which I wish for you to remember for the rest of your life. Take this to heart Fitzwilliam and never let it go. My love for you will always be with you but also my laughter. Do not forget to laugh. Mirth and silliness, along with whimsy are gifts from God so are good and innocent. A reminder of when times were free and easy. Laughter at the right time never comes at the expense of your intellect rather it can expand it. Do not lose your humor, Son.” Lady Anne closes her eyes for a moment, and her breathing quickens then she opens them once more and grasps Fitzwilliam’s hand with a surprisingly strong grip. His eyes are riveted to her face as she sits up straighter in the bed. “Above all Fitzwilliam,” she talks in a
stronger voice than he has heard in many weeks, “Find your happiness. Find that one woman who will complete you and make you whole. The one woman who will understand my complex but gentle son. Grasp that happiness and never let go.” Lady Anne collapses back onto the bed as exhaustion claims her then she asks Fitzwilliam to have his father come in immediately. Once Gregory dashes into the chamber, Fitzwilliam watches as he gathers his wife into his arms and begins to sob.
The scene is raw and personal, so Fitzwilliam quietly slips out to wander about the long hall. When an anguished wail reaches his ears, he knows his mother has died. Even without hearing his father’s grief, Fitzwilliam feels as much as anything that his mother is no more. How long he wanders in a stupor is hard to say, but then he feels the comforting arms of Mrs. Reynolds go around his shoulders. As the rest of the household starts to learn the news of the death of the Mistress and the accompanying chaos that intelligence creates, Mrs. Reynolds guides Master Fitzwilliam past all of the crying staff, taking him to the kitchen where she sits him at a table with a high stool and gives him a hot chocolate. Then she sits across from him as the kitchen staff quietly and solemnly go about their duties. The routine is oddly comforting to Fitzwilliam and gives him a small amount of ease. Finally, the tears come, and he weeps unashamedly into Mrs. Reynold’s shoulder as she speaks soothingly and rubs his back. Much later, Mrs. Reynolds hands him off to the care of his grandfather while Gregory Darcy grieves alone and silently in his chambers.
The required wake and funeral arrangements are a blur to the remaining Darcy men. Grandfather Darcy is the one person who remains solid for the others to lean on. During the church services, Fitzwilliam buries his head in his grandfather’s side as he can no longer stand to see his strong and confident father brought so low. The Matlocks give their unwavering love and support as did the many friends and neighbors who have known the Darcy family for years. Henry is a good friend to his grieving cousin, and Fitzwilliam never forgets how he relied on his steady presence and guidance. The family of Lady Geneve is there, Lady Geneve a childhood friend to Fitzwilliam for as long as he can remember and she adored Lady Anne. Lady Catherine is another story. She complains about the flowers, the gown Lady Anne is dressed in, the weather and the meal after the services. Fitzwilliam is beginning to understand while one may love someone because he or she is family, it is not always easy to like that same person. Miss Anne is there, quiet and withdrawn, so Henry tries to entice her into some conversation. She shyly smiles, but it is quickly erased when Lady Catherine announces Miss Anne needs to go to her chambers to rest after the meal. Poor Gregory has enough, and he stalks over to Lady Catherine, whispers something in her ear then has a footman escort her to her chambers as well.
Lady Anne is laid to rest in the Darcy family cemetery. For all of his long life, Fitzwilliam will regularly visit the grave to place flowers on her headstone. Usually, red roses to symbolize his love for her and once in a while an extraordinary shade of deep red which symbolizes the great loss he felt when she passed. The wind on the day she is lowered into the ground whines through the evergreen trees almost as if they too weep over the loss of someone as kind and beautiful as Lady Anne. Fitzwilliam watches as the workers start to lower the casket into the earth even though the rest of the mourners are headed back to awaiting carriages. He vows once more over his mother’s grave that he will protect Georgiana and the rest of his loved ones and no one will find him wanting; he will make her proud. As he approaches the carriage where his father and grandfather wait on him, Fitzwilliam decides he would rather walk alone back to the manor. When Gregory starts to protest, Grandfather lays a hand on his shoulder. “Let the boy go. Everyone grieves differently, he knows what he is about.”
The walk back to the manor helps to restore Fitzwilliam’s stoic nature. No one will know the pain he carries. It will not do, it could be seen as a sign of weakness, so he decides he will bury the pain and not allow it to burden him. Thankfully most of the mourners have left by the time he returns, only a few remain in the manor, those who have long journeys home. Grandfather and Mrs. Reynolds will notice a raw sadness in Fitzwilliam’s eyes along with an absence of some of their brilliance. This pain will deepen over the years without any end in sight of the suffering for the young man but he hardly ever speaks of it to anyone.
Some weeks later, Fitzwilliam is with George, and they are fishing. Fitzwilliam has become more withdrawn largely due to the fact that his father is hardly ever out of his chambers. Grandfather Darcy has taken over the reins of Pemberley to allow the man to grieve and Fitzwilliam feels largely forgotten. But he does not complain as it will not do. George breaks the silence finally when he states, “I told you so.”
“What did you tell me?” Fitzwilliam demands.
“At least you still have a sister, but I told you it would not end well and see, you lost your mother too.” Normally restraint and Fitzwilliam go hand in hand but this time is not the time for the outspoken George to comment. Without a thought, Fitzwilliam lands a swat to George’s face.
“Mind your tongue.” He growls as he stows his rod and reel then picks up the rest of his tackle. He does not see George make a rude gesture in his direction nor does he hear the slur directed at him as he stalks away. Henry often asks Fitz why he tolerates the obnoxious boy, and truthfully he wonders the same. Henry has never liked George, and when Henry visits, George makes himself scarce which is just fine with Henry. After Fitzwilliam slapped him, George changed his style. Whereas before he spoke without thinking, now he adopts a smoother slick style which begins to endear him to the other children as well as some of the adults. When it is just Fitzwilliam and George, Fitzwilliam still sees the same saucy defiant child from before.
Chapter 8
Fitzwilliam entered his teens, and a huge growth spurt went along with it. He is six feet tall, and while many teens his height are ungainly, Fitzwilliam is very athletic. He, along with Henry, honed his fencing skills and he practices for many hours. Fitzwilliam takes the time to learn a little pugilism too, figuring it never hurts to know how to defend oneself should a sudden need arise. The two physical activities go a long way to keeping the morose feelings at bay. Rides on Spitfire are still thrilling, but as Grandfather Darcy ages, his company becomes less and less frequent. Henry comes over often, and he likes to call out, “There’s Fitz on Spitz!” much to Fitzwilliam’s annoyance. However, the young man is fast becoming quite a wit in his own right. Sadly most of the others never see his humor or gentleness except for the few people he allows close to him, Henry, Cousin Anne, Geneve, The Matlocks, and of course, Georgiana.
The bond between the two siblings is strong and committed even though the difference in ages is great. Just as Fitzwilliam had vowed over his mother’s grave, he has protected Georgiana and loves her deeply. When the little girl suffered the minor scrapes and bruises common in childhood, it was her brother who succored her and made everything better. Georgiana would be crying as she rubbed a bruise or scraped an elbow and soon Fitzwilliam would be there with comforting words. Many times though he would mug and make the silliest of faces until she was laughing at him and his antics. He giggled right along with her, and soon the tiny injury was forgotten. Whenever Georgiana suffered from a cold, Fitzwilliam was there to keep her entertained as she recovered. He read to her as he had such fond memories of his mother and grandmother doing the same for him. If Georgiana could not find rest, Fitzwilliam would sing to her softly as she drifted off into sleep.
Her brother tries to make up for the sad fact Georgiana never knew a mother’s love. So he carves out extra time for her as she grows so she will not feel alone. Picture books are a favorite activity as are nature walks. As Fitzwilliam did so many times in the past with their mother, he points out oddities and whimsy in nature while making up stories which he tells to his adoring sister. He does draw the line at tea parties and playing with dolls, however, even the most devoted brother has to have some pride. Georgiana especially enjoys when he read
s to her, and something or someone in the story irritates Fitzwilliam. He then makes up his own dialogue for the characters or changes parts of the story to make it more amusing or realistic. Georgiana always thinks his renditions are superior to what was originally written. Even with his relaxed manner with his sister, Fitzwilliam remains, as Georgiana would term it, fussy. If it happens to be cold outside, it is not Gregory or Grandfather nor Georgiana’s maid who frets the most; it is Fitzwilliam. If she does not attend her studies as he deems appropriate, it is Fitzwilliam who gives his sister a stern lecture. He pierces her with those blue eyes so unlike any the young girl has seen and delivers his advice in a slow, deliberate manner which brooks no opposition. He never has to raise his voice to his sister, but as she grows, she found she would almost prefer a tongue lashing to those talks.
Once when they are much older, Georgiana refuses to attend her French lessons for it is simply too beautiful of a day. The breezes shuffling the curtains hold the fragrances of fresh blooms and the birds are playfully singing. The very idea of sitting huddled over some book along with a tutor is not appealing, so Georgiana is trying to come up with all sorts of reasons to delay if not avoid the whole ordeal. Enter her somber brother with his face fixed and a scowl on his lips. Georgiana knows she is in for a long lecture then she will have to have her dratted French lesson still. She also knows he hides behind that cold exterior, so some playfulness rises to the fore as he seats himself across from her at the small table where she does her work.