“Please say you’ll come,” Fern begged.
“Okay,” Xochitl agreed. Moments later she hung up the phone, wondering if she had done the right thing.
As the day wore on, Xochitl began to feel very nervous about another sleepover and casting a spell. She didn’t want to be doing magic of any kind. It had failed her. Around five o’clock, she decided to call Fern and tell her she had a stomachache, but before she could pick up the phone, there was a knock at the door. When Xochitl opened it, she found Fern and Marina standing on her porch.
“I had an intuition that you might back out, so we came to get you,” Fern said, smiling broadly.
Xochitl couldn’t help returning Fern’s smile. “All right,” she relented. “Let me get my things.”
Once they were all settled in Fern’s bedroom that evening, they decided they would do the spell at midnight. Xochitl stared at the mural on Fern’s wall.
Fern followed Xochitl’s gaze. “Do you like it? When I got home from my last visit to Colombia, I stuck that burlap coffee sack up there.” Fern pointed to the decoupaged, blown-up pictures of her and a man pouring beans into the sack. “That’s Uncle Carlos. He’s a barista and grows the best coffee in Sierra Nevada de Santa Marta, Colombia. He has seven kids, and I ran absolutely wild with them when we visited my dad’s family. My aunt Ibis reminds me of your nana.”
Oh great, thought Xochitl. Now all they’ll talk about is magic.
“I’m really enjoying hanging around your nana,” Marina said. “She’s taught me a lot.”
“I’m beginning to think I can see more colors in auras now because of her,” Fern said. “I saw another aura around Tristán when we were in Four Crows. I think it’s weird that it would change color and that I would only see it around Tristán. I looked and couldn’t see anything around either of you. Do you think some people don’t have auras?”
“No, Nana said auras are around all living things,” Xochitl answered before she could stop herself. If she was so adamant about not discussing magic, she scolded herself, why was she contributing to the conversation?
Marina scratched her bare leg. “Hey, maybe your ability to see auras comes and goes.”
“Yeah, Rogelia said something like that,” Fern conceded. “Maybe with time and more lessons, I’ll see them around other people.”
“So you’ve got your magical powers,” Xochitl said. “Why do we need to do another spell?”
“It’s kinda cool,” Marina said.
“It’s not as if you’ve never done this before,” Fern chided.
“Mexican magic is different,” Xochitl muttered. She sat on a cushion in front of the bay window in Fern’s room, clutching an orange polka-dotted pillow under her chin.
Xochitl wondered what would happen if she tried to disappear. Could she slip out of Fern’s house unnoticed? Maybe she should have disappeared when she heard them knock on her door. Too late for that, but she could still go invisible now. Xochitl closed her eyes, slowed her breath, and focused her attention on the spot just above her belly button, the place her nana called the solar plexus. She imagined pure invisible light taking over her physical form, almost like it would erase her fingers, her hands, then her arms. She began to feel the floaty sensation that always preceded her disappearances.
Just then, Xochitl felt a hand clutch her arm just above her elbow. Awareness flooded her body, and she felt the heaviness of the earth plane. Her eyes flew open.
“Promise not to vanish”—Fern held tight to Xochitl—“and I’ll let go.”
“What makes you think I was going to?” Xochitl asked.
“Just a hunch,” Fern replied as she let go of Xochitl and walked over to her bed. She flopped on her tummy facing her friends.
“Can you really disappear?” Marina asked.
“Yes, when I want,” Xochitl said sulkily.
Marina whistled, impressed. “Do you want to right now?”
What could she say? You are taking this magic thing all wrong. It doesn’t fix problems, not the ones that matter, anyway. Not only that, but I’m totally out of my element here and my head is spinning and yes, I would love to disappear right now. But Marina and Fern had been so nice, she couldn’t bring herself to say these things, which she was sure would hurt their feelings.
“I can’t imagine what it must be like to be in your shoes,” Marina said, breaking the awkward pause. She pushed herself on a swing chair that was bolted to the ceiling.
“So let’s do a little magic to improve our situation,” Fern suggested.
“Magic isn’t a cure-all,” Xochitl said.
“No, but it can help you create a life of your choosing,” Fern said firmly.
“Where did you hear that?” Marina asked while toying with the fringes of a throw pillow.
“Read it in our spell book,” Fern said as she thumbed through Magik for Teens. “Xochitl, are we closer to a full or dark moon?”
“The moon will be full on Monday.”
Xochitl’s village in Mexico didn’t have many night lights, so the stars and moon shone bright. It was second nature for her to know the moon’s cycle and whether the moon was getting larger or smaller. She could also have told Marina which constellations were out at this time of year and the Aztec myths regarding their origins. But she wasn’t about to open that can of pinto beans. She didn’t want to hurt her new friends, but the idea of their proximity to her heart made her feel a little crowded and overstimulated, like waking up to a ten-person mariachi band playing in your bedroom.
Fern flipped through the spell book for a moment, then reported, “Okay, a waxing moon, getting bigger, is the perfect time to ask for things you want.”
“I want a good hair day,” Marina announced.
“You always have a good hair day, with your Pantene-perfect straight and shiny hair,” Fern joked.
Marina made a wounded face at Fern. “No more jealousy. I like your curls.”
“Thanks. But let’s make another wish or two or three,” Fern said.
“I want my mom to get off my back,” Marina said. “She’s got a new rant now.”
“What is it?” Fern asked.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” Marina said coolly.
“Fine,” Fern sighed. “I want to fall in love, just a little bit.”
“You already are in love. With Tristán.” Marina whomped Fern with the throw pillow.
“Am not!” Fern shrieked.
“I think you would make a good couple,” Xochitl said quietly.
Fern blushed, then changed the subject. “Oh, and I want to save the Bolsa Chica wetlands from being developed.”
“You’re such a good person,” Marina jibed. “When I grow up I want to be just like you.”
Fern threw the pillow to Xochitl. “Hit her for me.”
Xochitl threw the pillow at Marina. Marina caught the pillow in midair and tossed it back to Xochitl. “What do you want?”
Xochitl looked back and forth between Fern and Marina. She hugged the pillow and then lowered her eyes. “I want my sister back.”
“Oh, Xochitl.” Fern jumped up from her bed and put her arm around Xochitl’s shoulder.
“Nana always says you can’t go back in time.” Xochitl blinked a tear away. “Let me see the book.”
Marina handed the book to Xochitl. She opened it at random to the page about summoning the spirit of a loved one. Of course. Speaking to Graciela was what Xochitl wanted more than anything. She glanced at the spell’s ingredients and quickly committed them to memory. She might as well try it. After all, spells from this book had worked for Marina and Fern. But this spell would have to be done in private and wasn’t something she was ready to share with Fern or Marina. Xochitl’s neighbor Mrs. Benitez had asked her to walk her pampered poodles a few days ago. With the money she earned, she could buy the ingredients she needed to cast the spell to speak with Graciela.
Scanning the book’s pages, Xochitl wracked her brain to think of something nor
mal, something fun and lighthearted to wish for. She looked up from the book. She saw Marina’s walk-in closet with clothes spilling out of it. “I want new clothes,” she announced confidently. It was a vague and remote desire, something she and Graciela had both dreamed about. When Xochitl had journeyed to America, she had brought only as many clothes as she could carry in a very small suitcase. Nana had picked up a few things for her from garage sales. All her clothes were practical and completely lacked style.
When the magical midnight hour struck, Fern drew the circle. Quietly, almost as if she didn’t want to, Xochitl called in the four directions. Marina led the meditation. Fern rubbed oil on four white candles so roughly, she nearly broke one candle.
Xochitl watched the ceremony unfold like something out of a dream. Marina and Fern seemed almost greedy as they asked for their multiple desires. Xochitl didn’t often do rituals like this. The spiritual work or magic she and Nana created was designed for a specific need, usually for a healing of some sort, not for a slew of wants.
Later that night, Xochitl slept fretfully, imagining all sorts of unformed nightmares. She hadn’t exactly been taught that their ceremony tonight was wrong. But instinctively, it hadn’t felt right.
The next morning, low, dark clouds crept along the horizon, threatening a rare summer storm. Xochitl, Fern, and Marina sat around the pine kitchen table while Fern’s mom served them pancakes with real maple syrup. Fern’s mother had the kind of flawless, sculpted face that looked good even without makeup. She was dressed in an elegant crepe blouse and jeans with bejeweled appliqués that made her legs look long and trim.
“You were up late last night,” Fern said critically to her mother.
Fern’s mother ruffled the top of her daughter’s curly hair. “This is why I’m so lucky to have such an independent daughter. I never worry about my girl.”
Fern gave her mother a feeble smile.
“Let’s go to the Block today,” Marina suggested. “I don’t have to be home until dinner.”
“What’s the Block?” Xochitl asked.
“This really cool outdoor mall,” Marina said. “They have tons of hip clothes stores and usually tons of eye candy.” She took a bite of pancake.
“Eye candy?” Xochitl repeated, bewildered. She felt a wave of guilt wash over her. She and Graciela had planned to shop at American malls together.
“Cute guys!” Fern said.
“But then, Fern already has a favorite eye candy,” Marina teased.
“What’s this?” Fern’s mother asked, setting a glass jug of orange juice on the table.
“Nothing, Mom,” Fern said, casting a warning look at Marina and Xochitl.
Marina kicked Xochitl under the table, and they both burst out into squeals and snorts of suppressed laughter.
“Stop it,” Fern hissed at them. “Mom,” Fern said loudly to cover her friends’ laughter. “Can you drive us to the Block?”
“Sure. I heard Ann Taylor is having a shoe sale,” Fern’s mother said.
Fern rolled her eyes. “Mom, you already have a hundred pairs of shoes. The more you buy, the more waste is jammed into the landfills.”
“Yes, but I just got this beautiful turquoise dress to wear dancing with your father, and I need shoes to match it,” Fern’s mother said. She kissed the top of Fern’s head. “I’ll try to find something biodegradable, okay?”
“They sell those?” Marina inquired.
“Hush,” Fern’s mother said with a sly smile.
Fern’s mother drove the girls to the Block an hour later. “Just pull up to the front, Mom, and let us out before you find a parking spot. We’ll take the bus home,” Fern said.
“Well, I didn’t think you’d go shopping with me,” Fern’s mother said lightly. “I do have a reputation to uphold.”
“Puhleeze,” Fern said as she got out of the car.
“Thank you, Mrs. Fuego,” Marina and Xochitl said together.
They waved goodbye and fell in with the crowds. Xochitl felt a little claustrophobic around so many people. It seemed like everybody and their brother was out today. The busy shoppers crowding the mall kept bumping into her. It was as if she was only half-visible. Xochitl felt only partly in her body, like she was waking up from a really believable dream but hadn’t opened her eyes yet. This had never happened to her before. She considered becoming completely invisible, but then she would surely lose Marina and Fern.
Xochitl looked around incredulously at all the clothing shops, where mannequins wore bright summer clothes and jewelry sparkled in display cases. Music blared from an overhead speaker. Cart vendors stationed in the wide walkways sold everything from cell phone covers to bath salts to dog clothing. She was finally shopping at an American mall with American friends. This mall even had flashing billboards. This is what you wanted, Xochitl told herself. Don’t blow it. Xochitl steeled herself against her fear of being overwhelmed and lost in confusion.
“Where to first?” Fern asked.
“Let’s go to Planet Beauty. It might not be the MAC counter at Macy’s, but I need to get some new lipstick and some blush,” Marina said, shaking her abundant hair out of her face. “Then we can hit the Hollister store. They’ve just come out with the cutest miniskirts, and I’m dying to pick up a couple.”
“A couple?” Fern asked.
“Yeah, I’ve got some money left over in my debit account this month,” Marina said. “You want me to buy you something?”
“No,” Fern said. “You know I prefer to choose my clothes at vintage shops because I like them, not to follow fashion trends.”
“You don’t have to get testy,” Marina said. “I’ll buy Xochitl something. Okay, Xochitl?”
Xochitl nodded mutely. She stared in awe as they passed the Edwards Theater and the outsized silver strips of movie reels fashioned into benches. A circle of palm trees stood in front of ten-foot-tall images of famous movie stars. Brilliant fuchsia and vibrant orange bougainvillea covered the walls. Jugglers, a bouncy house, a bucking bronco, and a climbing wall provided entertainment for small children in the large plaza in front of the theater. This is a bit much.
“Whoa. Did the lights always flash like that?” Fern asked, looking up at the blown-up pictures of well-known actors above the theater.
“What lights?” Xochitl asked.
“There, see those lights?” Fern pointed to the billboards and shop signs.
“I don’t see anything.” Marina said. “Is it an aura?”
“How can it be? It’s over a billboard,” Fern replied. “Wow, it’s giving me a headache. Let’s get inside.”
Xochitl sighed with relief as they headed toward the doors of Planet Beauty. At least she wasn’t the only one craving a little peace and quiet.
Fern pulled open the store’s glass doors and was immediately sprayed with perfume by a woman wearing a white smock. “It’s called Diva,” she said with a plastic smile. “Like it?”
“No,” Fern said rudely as she stormed past her.
A man in a business suit rammed into Marina. “Why don’t you like your boss?” she asked Xochitl. “I didn’t know you had a job.”
“What?” Xochitl asked confusedly. The store was just as crowded and noisy as outside. She was feeling really uncomfortable and had to close her eyes to concentrate on breathing properly.
Just then, a frumpy woman with frizzy brown hair bumped past the girls without seeming to see them; she appeared lost in her own thoughts.
“I don’t think you have bad acne, Fern,” Marina said sympathetically.
“Oh my God, what are you talking about now?” Fern asked, laughing. “For once, my face is clear.”
“I don’t know,” Marina said as she arrived at the makeup counter. “I just thought I heard someone say…Oh, forget it.” Marina reached out to take a lipstick.
Dance music piping from the loudspeaker grew louder and louder in Xochitl’s ears. Xochitl tried to calm her breathing. She was beginning to feel consumed by all the nois
es, sights, and smells, like she had when they were in Guadalajara. She felt like she was falling into a dark pit. Graciela would have recognized the signs. She would have realized that Xochitl was too freaked out to concentrate on turning invisible. Her sister would have seen the growing look of panic in Xochitl’s eyes.
“Let me put some makeup on you, Xochitl,” Fern said. “You’re looking kind of pale.”
“I think I need to rest.” Xochitl sat down on the black metal stool in front of the counter and took a shuddering breath. She needed to calm down. She tried to focus on the advice Graciela would have given her and imagine a peaceful setting.
Fern grabbed a Q-tip and dipped it into chestnut-colored eye shadow. Her hand trembled as she applied the shadow to Xochitl’s eyelids. Fern blinked several times. She bent over Xochitl for so long, Xochitl thought she might scream if she didn’t get some space. Fern finally succeeded in smearing the makeup on Xochitl’s temple.
“Fern, what are you trying to do? Make her look like Count Dracula?” Marina asked.
“My left eye,” Fern complained. “I can’t see out of it very well.”
“Not a good time to be putting on makeup, then,” Marina said.
Xochitl picked up a mirror and looked at her face. There was more color than white in her almond-shaped brown eyes. Streaks of dark eye shadow were smudged all over her lids. She took a cotton ball and with a shaking hand wiped her eye clean.
Marina dabbed rouge onto Xochitl’s cheeks. She leaned back to inspect Xochitl’s face and cringed. “Xochitl, I hate to tell you this, but your face is getting all blotchy.”
“Ooh, I can see a shadow around you, Xochitl,” Fern said. “No color, just waving lines, pulsing like crazy. Speaking of crazy, Xochitl, stop breathing like that.”
Xochitl twisted her cotton bracelet so tightly it almost broke. “I…can’t…help…it!” she gasped. “It’s so stuffy in here. I really don’t like crowds.” She yanked on the bracelet as if she could wrench Graciela back from the cosmos to be with her on earth.
“Maybe we should go,” Marina said. “I’m not feeling so hot myself.”
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