by Emma Dean
Goddess, she was nervous. Adelina knew once all the planning and preparation was done the ramifications of this trip would fall on her, heavy and crushing. She would be the only royal aboard the ships, the highest ranking person there – and she wasn’t sure she could do it. How could she control the lives of thousands? So far from Draga Terra and the core, she would have no one to fall back on.
“Do you think I can do this?” she asked Nadyah, stopping just inside the last set of palace gates. Adelina folded her hands in front of her and smiled as she always did. The guards shifted but said nothing.
Nadyah stood a step behind, but her shoulder brushed against Adelina’s in reassurance. “I know you can. You’ve never been tested like this before, but I think you are far stronger than you know.”
The quiet words, said with so much conviction, eased some of Adelina’s tension and her smile became more natural.
Varan looked completely ragged and awful as he made his way up to the palace gates. The guards looked to Adelina, and she nodded. They didn’t seem confident about her decision, but they opened the gates regardless. No doubt they recognized him after the coming-of-age party.
“Princess Adelina, you are a lovely sight so early in the morning,” Varan said with a flourishing bow. His blond hair wasn’t as shiny as it normally was and his emerald eyes looked tired.
“Varan, I’m so glad you could make it,” Adelina murmured, watching how his eyes flicked to Nadyah before they rested on her. Varan offered his arm and she took it. “Shall we make our way to the palace then?”
The three of them walked towards the palace in silence until they had passed the guards.
“Did you sleep at all?” she asked, eyeing him with concern.
“Maybe an hour or two, but the best sales are done in the dark hours.” The thief’s grin was toothy and wolf-like.
Adelina grinned at him. “I can’t wait to see the starships you picked out.”
He tossed something to Nadyah. “This is for you, darling.”
Nadyah caught it without blinking. “Thank you.”
Varan only nodded, fixing his gaze on the palace before them. “That contains my DNA as well as Roxy’s. Documents have been signed to approve testing, but nothing else.”
Adelina had always liked how Varan was so cautious and pragmatic. She glanced sideways at him and wondered how that would translate if he did indeed become a royal by law, and not just in name.
“Could you send a cast to Ian, Nadyah?” The sooner they had the results the better it would be for everyone.
“I can bring this to the lab right now,” her courtesan said.
The sun beat down on them in the large courtyard before the palace. Adelina looked up and stared at the Announcements Balcony where she’d almost died, where Nash had almost died. There was something in Nadyah’s voice that alarmed Adelina, but she didn’t know how to draw it out of her courtesan and lance it like an infection. Perhaps some time with her quiet brother would do Nadyah some good.
“If you think that’s for the best,” Adelina told her. She watched as Nadyah curtseyed and then set off towards one of the servants’ entrances closest to the labs.
Ian most likely was still asleep so early in the morning. But Varan’s words from the night before seemed to weigh on Nadyah despite his punishment. It bothered Adelina to see her courtesan this way.
Varan hissed in a breath and Adelina instantly released his arm. Her nails had pricked hard enough to leave marks, but thankfully she didn’t draw blood. She sighed. “I apologize, Varan; I’ve been rather on edge.”
“I understand completely,” Varan murmured. He offered her his arm again. “I did want to tell you how glorious your wolf was yesterday.”
She looked at him in surprise. No one had dared breathe a word about it since the incident. “Despite everything?” she asked.
Varan shrugged. “Because of everything, I would assume after so many cycles of avoiding your true nature it wasn’t easy, and you caught the prey. Not all do.”
Adelina considered his words in silence as they walked into the palace towards the main lift. The silence wasn’t unpleasant between them as the footman took them to the fifth floor. When the doors opened Varan’s eyes widened and he pulled her to a stop.
“We aren’t eating in the main dining hall?” he asked.
She turned to study him and shook her head. “My family and I usually eat in our private dining room for breakfast and lunch. Dinner is held in the main dining hall so the spectacle can be broadcast as always.”
Varan hesitated. “I’m not sure I look presentable.”
Adelina agreed, but she kept her mouth shut. His pants and shirt were fine. Perhaps all he needed was a vest and a bit of cleanup. He looked to be about P’draic’s size. “Come with me,” she said, tugging him along.
Still, Varan pulled back.
“I promise I’m not taking you straight to the royal dining room.” She tugged harder and Varan gave in, falling into step beside her.
They didn’t speak the entire way to P’draic’s rooms. Matters felt a bit strained between them with everything that had gone on the night before. Adelina pressed her palm to the door and waited. A few seconds later her brother’s lover opened the door only a crack. His eyes looked sleepy and his black hair disheveled in a rakishly charming way.
“What do you want, Lina?” he asked. “Do you have any idea how early it is?” Cycles of being Ian’s lover had given the two of them a strange familiarity.
“Varan needs a vest and your expertise for his first royal breakfast.” Adelina angled her body and P’draic’s eyes widened when he saw the thief.
Without a word he stepped aside so they could come into his sitting room. The space was messy as usual with his work everywhere. Ian was a fantastic medical scientist, but P’draic excelled at all science. All that kept him from advancing the tech in the Draga galaxy was gold, but most of it was allocated to medicine. The math formulas on clear boards filled the room and Varan took everything in with an expert eye.
“Come, Varan. You can take your pick from my closet.” P’draic motioned him forward. “Button that shirt…here – just let me do it,” P’draic said in annoyance. He manhandled the prince of thieves as if he did it every day.
Adelina watched from the doorway of his bedroom while P’draic buttoned up the thief’s shirt, and then grabbed a small device that cleaned his boots until they sparkled. Every bit of dust and dirt was then removed from his clothes. Adelina hadn’t noticed it before but when it was gone the thief shone. The wrinkles in his clothes disappeared and the simple black vest P’draic gave him set off the fire opal cufflinks Varan wore in his shirt.
It shocked her to see him wearing them, the gift from her coming-of-age party. Varan hadn’t worn them last night, but she supposed it made sense to wear them when visiting the palace. P’draic took out his nila to fix Varan’s hair, clean his face, and hide the bags under his eyes.
“I’m wearing makeup,” Varan said in annoyance.
“You look lovely,” Adelina teased. “Quite beautiful really.”
The thief rolled his eyes but gave her that smile she was so familiar with.
“Thank you, P’draic,” she said. “I appreciate it.”
He shook his head and pushed them out of his bedroom. “I’m going back to sleep. Tell that brother of yours he needs to sleep as well.”
“Did he not come to bed last night?” Adelina asked, pausing at the threshold.
“No, he’s been living in that lab for the last week, and he won’t listen to anything I have to say.” P’draic’s eyes held enough hurt in them for her to know it had been a recurring argument.
“I’ll talk to him today,” she promised, mentally adding it to the list of tasks she needed to do.
Adelina took Varan’s hand and pulled him into the hall. P’draic shared the same floor as Adelina, Ian, and Nadyah. His rooms were meant for Ian’s spouse, connecting to Ian’s room as Nadyah’s did to
Adelina’s. She wondered if Ian would ever propose, or if P’draic was doomed to be his mistress.
Varan stopped in front of the royal study. “Is this where that balcony is, the one you can see from the sea?”
She frowned, wondering how often Varan spied on the palace, but she waved her hand over the standing pad. The door opened and the ocean glittered from the windows with the shelves upon shelves of books. She supposed it wouldn’t hurt to show him. “This is one of my favorite places,” she told him.
Varan scanned the room in a heartbeat and then crossed to the balcony doors. They wouldn’t open until Adelina waved her hand over the standing pad there. She caught up and opened them for him. When he placed his hands on the railing he breathed the salty air in deeply. “I brought something,” he said.
“Oh?”
He slipped something small from his pocket and then handed it to Adelina. She opened the simple box while Varan stared out at the crashing waves. She nearly dropped it when she saw what was inside.
“This is for your official request for my hand?” she clarified, voice quavering with an emotion she couldn’t yet decipher.
“It is,” Varan said.
The diamond nestled in the box was already shaped into an emerald cut, a brilliant shape that enhanced the beauty. It had to be at least four carats and shone with an inner fire. The sun caught the facets and it glittered, casting rainbows on the balcony. No doubt Raena would gush over such an opulent declaration. Adelina had no idea how many offers for her hand had been officially made. How long would her sister wait before deciding on a husband?
He turned to look at her then and leaned against the railing. That roguish mask was gone and his face was deadly serious. “I wanted to show you the diamond before I gave it to Raena with my official documents to request the union. I wanted to see what you thought on the whole matter before doing something that could drastically change both of our lives.”
Adelina didn’t know what to say. That he wanted to give her a choice at all made her respect him even more. She used the tips of her nails to pick the diamond up from the velvet and when she held it up to the sun it simply burst into light and flame and rainbows. It was utterly flawless and would look beautiful as a ring, however the setting was designed.
Carefully she put it back into the velvet and closed the box. When she handed it back to him those emerald eyes watched her like a hawk. Adelina sighed and rested her forearms against the railing and leaned into the morning breeze, closing her eyes as she contemplated her next words.
“If you are Nadyah’s mate I won’t marry you.”
Varan jerked at the words, as though she’d slapped him.
“And if I’m yours?” he demanded.
She looked at him, seeing the small bit of beard growth on his jaw and how his emerald-green eyes practically glowed in contrast to his tanned skin. “If you are not Nadyah’s mate, then I wouldn’t have Ian scan your DNA against mine. My…parents turned off the gene that would activate when triggered by intercourse with a mate. You could be my mate, but that bond wouldn’t flare to life and therefore I see no reason why I should torture myself with knowledge that does me no good.”
Varan’s mouth dropped open in surprise. “You can’t be mated?”
She shook her head and then turned so her body faced his with only a small bit of space between them. “Not right now. I could reactivate the gene if I wished. But as Raena will be the one to choose who I marry I don’t think it would be prudent. I don’t want to scan every male just to know who is or isn’t. What if my mate is someone she does not choose for me? I don’t want to go into a union knowing that, wondering who is and where they are.”
Finally his face softened, a bit of understanding flickering in his eyes. “Could you…tell me about how this happened? If I’m to deliver a diamond for your hand, I’d like to get to know the real you better, not Lina whom I adore, but the real Adelina.”
Varan’s long fingers fiddled with the box and she sighed, wishing she could look at the gem once more. He smiled as if he knew her thoughts and he slid the box to her. Varan tapped the top of it. “I know you well enough, Lina, to know how much you adore shiny things.”
She smiled ruefully and picked up the box again. Adelina left it in the velvet this time and turned it ever so slightly to see how the sun made it shine. “My mother and Elara are mated,” she said, watching how the small reflections of light colored her skin and Varan’s. “They wanted a child of their own, and my father assisted. The doctors did the rest; including deactivating the mate gene and ensuring I looked like a true Draga.”
“Is that why your scent is…strange?”
She nodded and saw how the diamond was so clear and brilliant it was nearly blue. “Apparently my scent is jasmine, the lowest of the dominance spectrum because of the mixed genes, but I can move up and down the spectrum like a courtesan. I wonder if my dominance will ever settle if I’m mated one day.” She shrugged. “I guess I’ll never know.”
Those green eyes of his saw everything. “So you don’t know if Nash is your mate?”
She flinched at the mention of his name. Goddess how she missed him. Hopefully she would see him soon. “Nadyah acquired his DNA, but no. I did not have Ian scan it. We did scan against each other. I am not Nadyah’s mate.” Adelina was quiet for a moment as she considered how much to tell Varan. If he was to be her husband one day… “I think she’s upset I am not and I’m not sure how to fix that.”
His finger tapped her nose and she blinked. “You cannot fix everything for everyone, Lina. Nadyah loves you. Of course she is sad you are not her mate. Someone else is though and I’m sure it will all work out in time.”
Adelina leaned into his shoulder, drawing comfort from his familiarity. They’d known each other so long. “Perhaps she will find them soon. I apologize for everything though; this isn’t how I would have done things with a marriage.” She shrugged and stared out towards the ocean.
Adelina wanted a love match, but she did have feelings for the thief. “I wanted to wait for Nash, I told him I would try to hold Raena back…but I feel like a coward running towards a safe union. I thought Raena might consider marrying me to the Neprijat, but to actually do it? I just wish I had word from Nash,” she murmured, staring out at the ocean. There was nothing but the official reports they’d received. “I’m sorry,” she muttered.
Varan sighed and shook his head. “You have nothing to apologize for. I promised my friend to keep you safe. Nash knew you might need my help, and I almost failed. It’s haunted me since I watched the Neprijat enjoy your beauty like you were a delectable dessert.”
The way he studied her made Adelina nervous, but she kept her eyes on the ocean.
“I did finally receive a report from one of my spies who managed to survive the attack on Seprilles,” Varan told her.
Adelina whipped her head around and stared in disbelief. It was a miracle his informant had survived at all; the reports coming in were gruesome. “And?” she breathed.
“Nash held off the Neprijat and managed to keep the outposts from being destroyed. Once he secured the border he met up with another ship, and then disappeared.” Varan winced. Adelina knew he hated telling her, but she’d expected it.
“Disappeared as in became invisible, or crossed the border?”
“Well, both. With the tech he gave us, my spy watched the two ships become nothing more than blackness against the stars, and then he tracked it to the border where all three touch. Nash jumped into Khara space, and then slipped into the Hai galaxy. Nothing stopped him, and then even the tracking was unable to follow him into Drakesthai space.”
Adelina tapped the diamond again and rested her chin in her hand. She looked out at the beautiful view, but saw nothing. Her prince had found his fellow princess and then disappeared. Nash was gone into a place she wasn’t even sure she’d be able to reach. Nothing but hope kept them together.
Adelina wanted the truth, she wanted answers. “Why a
re you requesting my hand, Varan? Is it because you have feelings for me, or is it because it would advance your position?”
A strange look came over his face. Those fingers touched her hair and then he hesitated before tracing her bottom lip, as if trying to find the answer to her question. Varan threaded his fingers in her hair and then pulled her closer.
Adelina’s breathing quickened in response to the nearness, the nerves, and anticipation. Was he going to kiss her?
“Honestly,” he murmured. “I’m not sure. A bit of both I believe.”
Adelina said nothing. She held still, so incredibly still while her mind raced.
“I’ve known you for five cycles as Lina. Do you know how many times I’d considered taking you to my bed? I tried to get you to join my inner circle, and never understood why you refused me when we had such amazing chemistry – until a few weeks ago. I’ll never forget the fear I had, knowing you could have died under my watch, or even by my own hand. I’ve always been loyal to the royal family, Adelina. It would have killed me to know I’d hurt you.”
Still Adelina remained silent. She studied those beautiful eyes of his, noted how tall he was – though not as tall as Nash, and considered her body’s reaction to his scent. Adelina had always kept her distance from Varan because she didn’t want to complicate matters with a male she occasionally worked for and vice versa.
Now…so much was different now.
“I believe in honesty,” she said slowly. “Especially between spouses.”
Varan nodded, then realized how close they were and took a step back.
The diamond in her hand felt heavy. “Had Nash proposed to me with Raena’s blessing a week ago, I would have said yes. Now he’s off gathering his people as he should be and I am stuck here doing what little I can as one of the lowest ranking royals. Raena will choose my husband and I have no feelings towards any of those I danced with at my party, except Nash. And you.”
Varan’s grip on the railing tightened, but Adelina wasn’t sure what it meant.