by Liz Fielding
‘You haven’t been well. Maybe I should call Mum…’
But before she could reach her cell phone, he took the hand she’d laid on his arm and tucked it firmly against him, pulling her close, as if to protect her.
‘Like father, like son,’ he said, still looking at his brother. ‘Max will play with Louise’s feelings, destroy her. William Valentine all over again. You’re just like your father, Robert-’
‘William Valentine was your father, too.’
‘Just like your father,’ John Valentine repeated. ‘And your son is just like you. You can’t be trusted around a decent woman, any of you.’
‘Well, I don’t know about that,’ Robert drawled. ‘I’ll admit to having had more than my fair share of wives, but I’m not a hypocrite. At least I married the mothers of my children, all of them, and while I may not have been the best father in the world, I never lied to them. They knew who their parents were.’
John released Louise and lunged at his brother, grabbing him by the lapels of his jacket, holding him as if he wanted to shake him.
‘Dad!’
Max and Louise said the word in unison. Neither of them took the slightest notice, but as Louise leapt in to separate them Max caught her, held her back.
‘Leave them,’ he said as she tried to shake him off. ‘It’s time they settled it.’
‘Well, what are you waiting for, big brother?’ Robert sneered, provocatively, before she could answer. ‘Go on, hit me. Heaven alone knows you’ve wanted to do it for long enough. Why don’t you relax that stiff upper lip for once in your life and take a swing at me?’
CHAPTER NINE
FOR a moment nothing happened. Then, as his brother shuddered, eased the vice-like grip on his jacket, Robert said, ‘Let it go, John. Let it go.’
‘How can I? Our father stole my sons from me! Bought off their mother, kept me in ignorance to save a scandal.’
‘He acted from the best of motives. You’d just married Ivy. He was so proud…’ Robert shook his head. ‘He was always so proud of you. You were the good son, the one who made a good marriage, brought honour to his house with your rich, well-connected bride-’
‘I married for love.’
‘The rest was just a bonus?’
For a moment Louise thought her father would take up his brother’s invitation and hit him.
‘No!’ she cried.
For a moment John seemed beyond hearing, but then he almost visibly pulled himself together and taking a step back from the brink, released his grip on his brother’s jacket. ‘Ivy…’ His face softened. ‘In my marriage, I’ve been the most fortunate of men.’
‘Ivy has been the most fortunate of women, John.’ For a moment Robert’s devil-may-care features were haunted by something very like regret, then, brushing it aside, he said, ‘Dad didn’t want anything to spoil that for you. Your boys never went without. He didn’t abandon them, the way he abandoned you.’
‘But I did,’ John replied. ‘I did…’
As Louise let out a small sound that echoed her father’s anguish Max drew her close and she didn’t hesitate as she turned her face into his shoulder, knowing that his only concern was for her.
‘I didn’t know…’ her father said.
‘Blame their mother for that if you must blame someone,’ Robert told him, unmoved. ‘She didn’t want you in her life. Made the decision not to tell you about the twins. Face it, John, if her singing career hadn’t flopped, if she hadn’t decided that marriage to you was the soft option, no one would ever have known about your boys.’
‘She was in trouble. She had a right to my help. He should have told me, Robert. He got it wrong,’ John said, finally letting go. ‘But then he didn’t ever really know me. He didn’t want to. You were his joy. The one with a true flair for the business he loved, while I was just a glorified accountant. The truth is, I made him feel guilty.’
Robert didn’t dispute it and Louise saw her father’s shoulders sag a little. Felt an ache for the boy he’d been, the man he’d become. Family, but always just a little bit on the outside. Like Max, she thought. And like Max, needing to be in control of everything, refusing to allow anything to deflect them, disturb the even tenor of their lives. And it was Max, regarding his father, his uncle, with something like despair, whom she turned to, reached out to.
‘And because he didn’t learn from his own mistakes,’ she heard her father say, ‘I’ve been put through the same wringer.’
‘I’m not excusing him-’
John and Robert Valentine, still fighting a sixty-year-old battle, did not even notice them as Max took her hand, held it, drew her closer, put his arm around her.
‘No?’ John glared at him. ‘It sounds very much like it.’
‘Well, maybe. You’re right about a lot of things. He was uncomfortable with you and I can understand why you resented me. But what happened in the past, to you, to your mother, was not my fault.’
‘You had it so easy. You were so spoiled…’
‘Maybe that’s why I’m not the man you are, John.’
John didn’t appear to hear him. ‘My mother suffered so much. I sat and watched her die and I couldn’t do anything.’
‘It was a terrible thing for a boy to go through.’
For a moment Louise thought Robert was going to put his arm around his brother in a gesture of comfort.
‘Yes…’ she whispered, urging him to do it, for the two men to forgive each other so that they could move on. In response, Max pulled her a little closer.
Forgiveness.
John and Robert weren’t the only ones who needed to find that in their hearts. As she felt all the hurt, that terrible sense of betrayal fell away from her. Her father loved her. Why else would he be angry with Max? Nothing else mattered…She had to tell him that so that they could all move on.
Robert clearly thought better of such an unrestrained gesture, but put his hand on his brother’s shoulder. ‘A terrible thing,’ he repeated. ‘But it wasn’t anyone’s fault that your mother died, John. Everyone was short of food. There was no penicillin. Even if he’d been there, instead of away fighting, Dad couldn’t have done anything to save her. You must know that.’
‘He shouldn’t have stopped loving her.’ Her father looked desperate.
‘People can’t help their feelings, John.’ And he looked across at Max, as if he, too, was asking for something, some understanding.
‘She was his wife!’ He shook off his brother’s hand. ‘What would you know about fidelity?’ And he took a step back, turned to her. ‘Don’t you see, Louise?’ he said, pointing at Max. ‘It’s what Valentine men do. William, Robert with an endless succession of wives, Max with his string of girlfriends.’ Then, letting his hand fall, ‘And me, too.’ The fire went out of him. ‘Robert’s right. I’m no different.’
‘No, Dad…’ she said, hating to see him in so much pain. To see him blaming himself. If she’d been there, hadn’t been so wrapped up in her own hurt…
He brushed her protest aside. ‘I had an affair, moved on and never looked back, never gave the girl another thought in forty years. Had twin boys who never knew their father…’
‘It wasn’t like that. You didn’t know-’
‘I should have known. It’s something in us, Louise. The Valentine gene. Max has got his arm around you now, but it won’t last. He’ll stop loving you. He might not mean to hurt you, but he won’t be able to help himself.’
‘No!’
No more secrets. No more lies. Especially not to herself. She didn’t know what the future held for Max and her; all she knew was that hidden away their relationship didn’t stand a chance. ‘You’re better than that.’ Then, in a gesture that no one could mistake, she took Max’s hand in hers and, standing at his side, said, ‘You’re better than that, Daddy. And so is Max. Tell him, Uncle Robert. Tell him!’
‘Louise is right, John. He’s not like me,’ Robert said. ‘Max, Jack, the girls, I don’t know how it hap
pened when I was such a screw-up as a father, but they’ve all turned out better than me.’
But John couldn’t let it go.
‘No…’ He shook his head as if to deny what was before him. ‘I’ve seen you hurting, Lou. When you and James split up I thought my heart would break, too. I know you’ve never got over it.’
‘No, it wasn’t-’
‘You’re my little girl and your pain is my pain.’ A sigh escaped him. ‘I’ve loved you since the moment we brought you home, loved you more than any words can say, but I should have tried, should have told you. Daniel and Dominic are special, very special to me, but you are my most precious daughter. No blood tie could be stronger.’ He reached out, covered her hand, the one holding onto Max, with his own. ‘No one could ever replace you.’
‘I know, Dad.’ She looked at Max, smiled at him. He knew the pain of family breakdown, but he understood the true value of family, too. She’d have lost that but for him. In every way that mattered, John Valentine was her father.
She kissed Max, just to show him that nothing, no one, could keep them apart, and then she stepped forward, put her arms around her father, gave him the hug she should have found it in her heart to give him months ago, when he’d been hurting, when he’d needed her most. ‘You don’t have to tell me,’ she said, her eyes full of tears. ‘I understand.’
She’d been so afraid that Max was trying to drag her back, keep her from her new family, but she’d been wrong. She’d thought he’d been trying to control her when all he’d wanted was to show her that she didn’t have to choose, that she could have both; made certain that she didn’t throw away the family, the life, she had. One could, it seemed, never have too much family as far as Max was concerned.
‘I may have forgotten for a little while,’ she said, ‘but I’ve always known. I’m sorry I haven’t been a better daughter. So sorry…’
‘No, no. Hush…It’s all right. I understood. Just, tell your mother…’He looked at her. ‘We both need to tell your mother how much we love her. This has been so hard on her.’
As he said the word-love-she couldn’t stop herself from looking at Max and she knew that she’d been fooling herself. There was no way she was ever going to get Max Valentine out of her system. He wasn’t just ‘unfinished business’. He was part of her. Without him she could never be whole.
It wasn’t some coup de foudre, a blinding realisation that she was in love with him, but rather an acknowledgement of the fact that she’d been in love with him all her life and, although the words were for her father, she looked at Max as she said, ‘Promise me that you won’t blame Max for what has happened between us. He didn’t take advantage of me. I was the one who wanted this,’ she said. ‘Wanted him. I always did. Even before I understood the feelings.’ She was laying her heart bare to him. Trusting him. ‘It may not last. There are no guarantees, but at last we’re able to know one another in ways that we once thought impossible. That’s more than I ever hoped for.’
‘Impossible?’ As her father realised what she was saying, he groaned. ‘Because you believed you were blood relations?’ He shook his head. ‘Then that’s my fault, too…’
‘Don’t! The past is gone. Now, today, is all that matters. Tomorrow, next week, who knows? Only that the future is ours and, whether we make or break it, it’s our joint responsibility. It takes two to build a partnership.’
‘But only one to break it.’ For a moment her father continued to glare at Max. Then, with the slightest shrug, he said, ‘Heaven help you if you do anything to hurt her.’
‘No one can say what the future will bring, Uncle John, but maybe you should trust Louise to make her own decisions. Believe me, she’s more than capable of taking care of herself. I’ve just had a grandstand demonstration of where she learned that fly-off-the-handle temper.’
Robert Valentine laughed. ‘He’s got you there, John.’
‘I haven’t got a quick temper,’ Louise declared, roundly, then, recalling her father’s recent heart scare, she said, ‘Dad! Are you okay?’
‘Okay? Of course I’m okay. Why shouldn’t I be…?’ And then he too recalled that he was supposed to be taking it easy, not getting excited, and clapped his heart to his chest. ‘It’s okay,’ he said, grinning as he saw their concerned faces. ‘It’s still beating.’ Then, ‘But, um, better not tell your mother about that little outburst, eh? She’ll only make a fuss.’
Louise flung her arms around her father’s neck. ‘Idiot,’ she murmured in his ear. ‘I do love you.’
He hugged her back, said, ‘Then do something for me.’
Give up Max? Please, no, don’t ask that. Not now…
‘I know how much I’ve hurt you, Louise. I’m only just beginning to see how much my foolish pride, my need for secrecy, has cost you, but I’m to blame, not your mother. Stop punishing her. Live the day God has given you.’ Then, standing back to look at her, ‘If this last few months have taught me anything, it’s that.’
‘I’m learning,’ she said, glancing at Max. Mouthed a silent ‘thank you’ to him. He gave the slightest shake of the head, as if it was nothing to do with him, but she knew better.
The fact that they were here today was because he’d pursued her, refused to take no for an answer.
It was because of him that she was no longer alone and it was his hand she reached for as she said, ‘I’ll call Mum, talk to her, I promise. Today.’
Satisfied, and having given Max a look that told him in no uncertain terms that, whatever Louise had said, he’d be held responsible for any pain, John turned to his brother.
‘How do you feel on that subject?’
Robert, who’d been brushing down his jacket, smoothing his rumpled lapels, looked up. ‘What subject is that?’
‘Living the day. Life being a one-time offer.’
‘I wouldn’t gamble on getting a second crack at it,’ he agreed.
‘Then I’d suggest it’s time we stopped fighting past battles and made the most of what we have while we can enjoy it.’
Putting the word to the deed, he extended his hand, every inch the Englishman in the manner in which he formally declared an end to hostilities.
Robert, as much his father’s son as John, took it, held it. Then, his Italian mother’s genes rushing to the fore, he threw his arms around his brother and was still hugging him when the restaurant rang up to tell them that the photographer had arrived.
Max couldn’t take his eyes off Louise as she talked to the photographer, made sure that she got exactly what she wanted. Totally professional. Once she turned and saw him watching her, flicked a strand of hair behind her ear, smiled right back.
It was the look of a supremely confident woman and as she turned to her father, settled his tie, laughed at something he said to her, he felt as if he’d lost her.
Not physically. She’d made her feelings public. But she’d stepped back inside the charmed circle, to a place where he couldn’t follow.
After the photographer had gone and their respective parents put the word to the deed by staying to have lunch together, Louise and Max were left alone in the office.
‘I ought to go,’ she said.
She felt churned up, oddly vulnerable, her nerve endings exposed by so much raw emotion. It wasn’t just John and Robert Valentine making their peace after so long, or even her own accord with her father; she now realised that while she’d laid her heart on the line, Max had said nothing. She needed to think about that. What it meant.
‘I’ve got a pile of stuff waiting at the office and time is running out.’
‘Nothing that won’t keep for an hour.’ Taking her hesitation for agreement, he said, ‘We could both do with a little fresh air after this morning’s melodrama. As the boss I’m taking an executive decision to go for a walk in the park.’
‘You’re not my boss, Max,’ Louise said, matching his flippancy as she took her long scarlet coat from the stand. ‘You’re a charity case.’
‘I
think we need to talk about that,’ he said, not rising to this provocation. ‘The kiss covered until the fourteenth and you’ve done a great job. Now we have to discuss the future. What kind of retainer it’s going to take to keep you as Bella Lucia’s PR consultant.’
She glanced up at him as he took her coat, held it out for her. Nothing in his face gave her a clue whether that was all he wanted from her.
‘I’m very expensive.’
‘I’m sure, between us, we can hammer out some kind of financial package.’
‘No discounts for family,’ she said, her heart slipping into her boots as she let him ease her into her coat. ‘The “kiss” deal was a one-time offer.’ Like life, she thought, but when he didn’t answer this echo of her father’s words rang hollow in her ears.
‘You should have brought some bread for the ducks,’ she said as fifteen minutes later they skirted the lake in St James’s Park. When, despite his apparent desire to talk, the silence had stretched to breaking-point.
‘The greedy little beggars are too fat to fly as it is and, besides, I want your undivided attention.’
‘We couldn’t talk somewhere warm?’ she asked.
‘I want to ask you something. It’s important. I don’t want any ringing telephones, any distractions.’
She frowned. ‘What? What is it?’
‘I want to know what really happened between you and the Honourable James Cadogan.’
‘James?’ It was clear that Max had something on his mind, but that was the last thing she’d expected. ‘He’s ancient history,’ she said, but uneasily.
‘And yet the man’s name crops up whenever you’re mentioned. The Courier mentioned him today. And your father seemed to think I was catching you on the rebound, too. Taking advantage of your broken heart.’
‘Oh, please.’ If that was his problem, well, no problem…‘The Courier was simply rehashing the last piece of gossip they had on file, and as for Dad, well, reading it just reminded him what a failure as a daughter I am. Robert’s daughter married a king, while I messed up my relationship with a simple “honourable”, a man who, I might add, my father thought would make the perfect son-in-law.’