by Liz Fielding
Sighing, she went on aloud. “They’d both been so good to me and they both wanted me to do it so badly. I sort of felt like I owed them. If it hadn’t been for Marge, I would never have been able to get through as much college as I did. She helped me a lot. And at the same time, Ralph seemed very ardent and I thought maybe this was love, for me, too.”
“Naive,” he muttered.
She leaned forward earnestly. “Listen, try to understand. Ralph was pretty much the first man who’d been good to me. My experience with men over the first decades of my life hadn’t been real positive. First there were my mother’s boyfriends who came and went and treated her horribly when they weren’t trying to hit on her little girl behind her back.”
She paused for a moment, swallowing hard. She’d never hinted at that before to anyone but Tina, and now here she’d casually told Grant. She looked at his eyes, but she didn’t see condemnation. Squaring her shoulders, she went on.
“Then there were the administrators of the group home. One man in particular enjoyed making sure we understood how worthless we were and how much we owed to him and his staff for all we got. And finally, the few guys I dated in college all turned out to be jerks. So when Ralph treated me as an equal, as someone worth talking to, I was just so happy to find a man like that, it helped to win me over.”
His eyes flashed and she wasn’t sure if it was with anger or something else.
“And you regretted it?” he asked, his voice rough.
“Oh, yes. I definitely regretted it. Not that Ralph ever did anything horrible to me. Not physically. But once we were married, that sweet, considerate man turned into a control freak suspicious of everything I did and everyone I talked to. He couldn’t let me go to the grocery store alone. He was sure I was seeing someone behind his back. It was crazy.”
“Hmm. What did he do for a living?”
“He was a sort of freelance photojournalist. Every now and then he actually sold a picture. But mostly, he lived off his mother’s tiny nest egg and her social security.”
“Great guy.”
She bit her lip. Funny, but she had an impulse to defend Ralph. He wasn’t much, but he’d been hers for a time. Still, she resisted it.
“He drank too much, of course, and finally he got drunk and fell in the street and hit his head just wrong. He was dead in three days.”
She reached into her pocket for a band and pulled her hair into a ponytail, tying it back. “It was sad, especially for Marge. But we never had a real marriage.”
He nodded, glad they had done this. He thought he’d found out what he needed to know-that she didn’t have any deep emotional ties to the man. They could pretty much close that chapter of her life.
But that left what he knew was unspoken between them-the real concern. How was this going to work with him still attached to Jan? Was he going to be able to give Callie what she needed when he was still held hostage to the past?
And what about Callie-could she ever give up on finding real love herself? Was it all worth it? Seemingly she’d made that decision and decided it was worth it. Was she regretting it? He didn’t really think so. Worried, maybe, but not regretting it. He hoped she would feel free to tell him what she was thinking.
“Let’s promise one thing to each other right now,” he said. “We’ll always be honest with each other. We can’t deal with a problem if we don’t know what it is.”
She nodded. She agreed. Sure, she would try to be honest. Later.
He wanted to fix things, make everything okay. But if she started being honest right now, she would have to tell him, “Grant, I’m scared to marry you because I’m so afraid I’m going to fall in love with you, and I know your heart is unavailable.” How was he going to fix that?
She couldn’t be that honest because she was in too deep. And she couldn’t pull away now.
“Don’t worry,” she said aloud to him instead. “I’m going to marry you tomorrow. There are just a few emotional hurdles I have to leap over first. I’ll get there.”
He nodded, looking troubled. “Get some sleep. I’ll pick you up early tomorrow and we’ll head out to the ranch.”
“Okay.”
He looked at her for a long moment, then turned away. “Good night,” he said.
“Good night,” she echoed, feeling a bit abandoned.
He reached the door and paused, then looked back at her. She was standing under the light in the entryway. She’d tied her hair back but strands were escaping all around her face, making her look like an angel, all aglow. His heart caught in his throat.
One stride and he was back, taking her into his arms, taking her mouth, taking her breath away. He hadn’t meant to do it. He knew he shouldn’t do it. But for this one moment, he had to do it.
He filled her mouth and took her sweetness as though he’d been starving for it. Her response was without indecision, so clear and pure and full of affection, it made him tremble.
Pulling her body close, into the curve of his chest, of his hips, he knew she must feel how he wanted her. He needed her to feel it. She had to know he wasn’t going to hesitate tomorrow night. He ached to take her body the way he’d taken her mouth. He was more than ready-all flesh and blood and urgency.
Wasn’t that the point of all this?
Pulling away, he took her face between his hands and looked deeply into her warm dark eyes.
“Thank you, Callie,” he said in a low, hoarse voice. “You make my dreams come true.”
Turning, he went quickly into the night.
CHAPTER SEVEN
THE ranch was completely decorated for a wedding. Her wedding. Callie was astounded.
“I can’t believe it. Look at this place!”
Hanging baskets dripping with flowers hung all along the overhang. Someone had put up a tiny picket fence along the walkway to the house and planted vines with white flowers to wind through the slats. Roses were everywhere-in planters, in bowls, in cones set at the corners.
And inside, the decor was even more elaborate.
“Rosa, everything is so beautiful!” Callie cried as the housekeeper let them in.
“Of course,” Rosa said, shrugging. “It’s a wedding.”
Gena came up from behind her and swept Callie away. “Come on up to my room. I’ve got something to show you.”
Callie followed her up the stairs, lugging her overnight case filled with the white suit and accessories she’d brought along. One step into the room and she knew she was probably not going to use it after all. There, on a dressmaker’s model, was the most gorgeous white lace and satin gown she’d ever seen.
She gasped. “Oh, it’s beautiful!” She got close but didn’t dare touch it. “Where did it come from?”
Gena smiled. “It’s mine.”
Turning, she stared at the woman. “You were married?”
“Almost. The wedding didn’t quite come off like I planned.” Reaching out, she pulled at the waist. Callie noted a sad look in her eyes, but Gena pushed that away with a sigh and turned back to smile at her. “It’ll be a little big for you, but we’ve got a lady here on the housekeeping staff who’s quite a seamstress. She’s coming up to take a few tucks, so put it on and we’ll see how we’re doing.”
The next hour was filled with talking and trying on and sewing, and Callie had to admit, she was so relieved. She was actually going to get to wear a wedding dress. Now things were beginning to fall into place and feel right again.
In fact, she got so comfortable, she felt at ease asking Gena a question.
“Tell me about Grant’s wife,” she said, turning in her chair. Gena was working on Callie’s hair, making ringlets to frame her face and weaving tiny seed pearls everywhere.
“His first wife, you mean?” Gena corrected with a smile. She thought for a moment before going on. “Jan was like a hummingbird, small and beautiful and always on the move. She was a firecracker of a person, full of opinions and new causes and things that she was driven to get done. She
and Grant met in college. They got married right after he graduated.”
Callie nodded, glad to have some picture in her mind where there’d been only questions so far.
“So their child wasn’t born until quite a while after they married.”
“Right.” Gena glanced at her, hesitated, then went on. “I don’t think Jan actually wanted children. She was too busy. But she finally gave in and did her duty.”
Gena frowned thoughtfully, not noticing that Callie was startled by what she’d just said. After all, the Grant she knew was all about having children. That must have created problems of a sort. Unless Grant’s need for babies only cropped up afterward.
“They had their ups and downs, but Grant adored her. He was devastated when she was killed in the accident. And losing Lisa, his beloved baby, almost destroyed him. It was months before he could even talk about it. I really thought he would never marry again. It was too deep a wound.” She shook her head, pressing her lips together as she thought about it.
“You know, for a long time, he couldn’t look at a picture of either one of them. I finally convinced him he had to put a picture up in his office. But you notice where he put it-high up behind his desk at an angle, a place he never looks.”
“Then why put it up at all?”
“As a tribute. I went in with him the day he put it up. I told him he couldn’t pretend they had never existed. They deserve more. And he agreed.”
Callie shook her head, feeling so sorry for Grant she was afraid her eyes would fill with tears. And with the makeup she and Gena had just put on, that would be a disaster.
“What do you think about what we’re doing, Gena?”
She was silent for a moment.
“I’ll be honest, Callie. I wasn’t for this at the first. But now that I’ve gotten to know you a little bit, I’ve changed my mind.”
Callie smiled at the woman who would soon be her sister-in-law. “I’m glad. I only hope you’re right.”
Grant was pacing the floor. Things had definitely gotten out of hand and that meant he wasn’t happy. He was a man who liked to have control of every situation he put himself in.
“Why the hell should I put on this monkey suit?” he demanded from Will, who was lounging on the bed and laughing at his friend’s hissy fit.
“Because you’re going to give that little gal a proper wedding, that’s why.”
He rounded on his friend, his hands balled into fists. “Says who?”
Will grinned. “Says your sister, Gena.”
“Oh.”
His older sister was the one person in the world he did take orders from. He ran a hand through his hair distractedly. Maybe he and Callie should reconsider his idea of skipping out on the party and leaving it to the people who wanted it.
“Listen, it wasn’t supposed to be this kind of wedding.”
“Everybody knows that. Never mind. Go with the flow.”
“Going with the flow usually ends up getting you drowned,” Grant muttered.
“Not this time. We’re going to be there to hold your head above water. That’s what this is all about-family and community support.”
Grant grimaced. Will was right. And that was exactly why he and Callie were stuck with this thing. They couldn’t disappoint their loved ones.
“Never thought I’d see you so nervous,” Will commented dryly.
Grant shot him a look. “I’m not nervous.”
“The hell you aren’t.” Will rose from his lounging position and began to unbutton his shirt. “Time to put on my own monkey suit, I guess. Since I’m being forced to stand up for you, seein’ as how nobody else will do it. As if I didn’t have better things to do with my morning.”
“Exactly my point,” Grant muttered, preparing to dress for the wedding.
“At least we don’t have to get our hair done,” Will joked. “Though the way you’ve been torturing yours, someone better attack it with a comb.”
“You come near me with hairdresser intentions and the wedding’s off,” Grant responded sharply.
Will shrugged good-naturedly. “Never mind. I always did think the windblown look suited you just fine.”
Grant held up his hand, listening. Someone was playing the piano downstairs. “They brought in a piano player?”
Will nodded. “And some lady’s going to sing, too, from what I hear.”
Grant groaned. “This is like a real wedding.”
His friend clapped him on the shoulder. “That’s the point, big boy. You get the picture. This is a real wedding.”
But Grant was looking right through him, his mind in turmoil. Somehow this made everything different. How could this be a mere business deal when you added piano players and orange blossoms? How had everything careened so quickly out of control? Callie had been right the night before. This was all a bit too much. But it was obviously too late to change things now.
Coming down the stairs a few minutes later, Grant saw Tina arriving. He’d sent a car for her and was glad to see she’d made it. And then he saw her little girl coming in behind her-the little girl who looked so much like his Lisa that he looked twice to make sure it wasn’t her. He had to reach out and take hold of the banister for a moment.
Why was she here? Why would someone bring a little girl like that to a wedding?
He knew it was irrational, but he couldn’t help his reaction. When he saw the child, he reacted in an emotional way he couldn’t seem to control. The pain swept over him again, intense and almost unendurable. He couldn’t have a little girl who looked like Lisa watching as he married Callie. He was usually a logical, unemotional guy, but something about that just struck him as wrong.
He searched for Rosa and pointed out Tina’s child. “Could someone watch her during the wedding?” he asked. “Maybe take her up to the old playroom?”
“Of course,” Rosa said with a smile. “Such a pretty little girl.”
Gena had come up behind him. “What are you doing?” she asked as Rosa hurried off.
Grant avoided her gaze with a guilty maneuver. “Uh, that’s Tina’s little girl. I thought she would be happier playing away from the wedding.”
Gena frowned. “Did Tina ask you to do that?”
“No, but…” He swallowed hard and turned to look his sister in the face. “Look at her. She looks exactly like Lisa. Don’t you see? I can’t have her here during the wedding. I just can’t.”
Frowning, Gena stared at the little girl then turned back. “Grant, I don’t see…” But he was already heading back up the stairs and he ignored her comment.
There was no way he could explain. Every time he looked at Molly, he saw Lisa and he felt his own little girl looking at him with a sad reproach he just couldn’t face. That was all there was to it. And there wasn’t much he could do to change that.
Finally it was time. The backyard had been set up with chairs leaving an aisle down the middle. He walked down that aisle behind Will and they took their positions. The place was packed and he had another qualm, hoping Callie didn’t feel intimidated.
“What did you do, take an ad out in the local paper?” Will muttered to him out of the corner of his mouth, looking around at the crowd.
“Not me,” Grant murmured back. “You can’t pin this one on me.”
He looked at his grandfather, sitting in the front seat. The old man gave him a smile that helped make up for a lot of this. At least Grant Carver IV was happy.
The pianist struck up “Here Comes the Bride” and Tina came out, looking pleased as punch, and then Callie, looking so beautiful, he could hardly breathe for a moment.
A wave of relief swept over him. She was smiling at him, looking joyful. It was going to be all right. They would get through this and then, tonight, they were going to begin the task of making a beautiful baby together. He was looking forward to that a lot more than he’d expected to. In fact, almost too much.
He settled down and greeted his bride as she reached him.
“Hi,” she whispered.
“Hi, gorgeous,” he whispered back.
“Let’s get married,” she said, and he grinned.
“Let’s do it.”
Magic. That was the only word she could think of for today. Pure, shimmering, golden magic. She’d thought she’d feel awkward with a room full of people she’d never met before. The only people who were really there for her were Tina and Molly and Grant and his sister. But that seemed to be enough, because everyone else acted as though they’d known her since she’d toddled out into the world. She was the center of attention and praise and questions-she’d never felt so in demand before in her life.
Everyone was so happy for her and for Grant, thinking they were on their way to a lifetime of blissful happiness. At first she felt a little strange about pretending this was a normal marriage and not a business deal. She had to admit they’d put on the trappings of a real love match, so why would anyone think any different? But there was no way to explain. No one would understand.
And anyway, she wasn’t much different from the others-even she was beginning to feel like this was a love match. Whenever she looked at Grant she couldn’t help but react to how handsome he looked in a tuxedo. She felt a quiver inside. Was this the way love began?
That’s not love, you ninny! That is just pure anticipation of your wedding night, that’s what that is.
Maybe. There was no denying her heart skipped a beat every time she thought of it. So what? It was exciting and it was wonderful and she could hardly wait to be alone with him. She was on pins and needles, but in a good way. A very good way.
And then, Tina had caught the bouquet and the champagne punch bowl had been drained and the finger sandwiches had all been devoured and cake had been smashed into faces and icing licked off fingers and it was time for them to go.
They joined hands and thanked everyone for coming. People were laughing and calling out good wishes. She’d heard someone had tied things to the back of Grant’s car. She saw someone passing out little bags of rice.
This was crazy. It was a real wedding. She’d never thought it would happen to her. She turned to look up into Grant’s handsome face.