by Susan Stoker
Blythe gaped at Beth. She hadn’t pegged her for being the philosophical type. But then again, she didn’t know exactly what had happened to her. And the more she thought about it, the more she liked Beth’s outlook on life.
“And this is Smokey,” Penelope said, breaking the silence. “He’s my service donkey.”
Everyone giggled. Sophie and Quinn came back into the room just then and handed out green drinks to everyone.
“What the hell is this?” Beth asked, staring at the drink skeptically.
“It’s called an alien s-secretion,” Sophie informed them.
“Do we want to know what’s in it?” Blythe asked. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d had a drink. Hell, the last time she’d sat around not worrying about money, her mom, where she was going to get a meal, or where she was going to sleep.
Suddenly, she didn’t give one shit about what was in the drink she was about to consume. She was just happy to be hanging out with women she genuinely liked.
“Coconut rum, m-melon liqueur, vodka, and pineapple juice.”
Blythe took a sip—and coughed. “Good God, you’re trying to kill us. Did you use any juice in here at all?”
Everyone chuckled and, surprisingly, Smokey brayed, throwing his head up and down as if he too wanted to join in the fun.
That set them all off even more, and before long, all six women were laughing their heads off. When everyone had settled down, Penelope explained how she came to have a service donkey.
“I found him in the middle of a forest fire. He was basically on fire and came to us for help. I doused his body and he followed us. Refused to go back to wherever he came from.” She shrugged. “So, I took him home.”
“Tell her why he’s good for you,” Beth encouraged.
The petite woman smoothed a lock of blonde hair behind her ear, looking anywhere but at the women around her, then concentrated on petting the donkey’s head in her lap. Finally, she sighed and said softly, “When I was in the Army, I was kidnapped overseas by terrorists. They held me for quite a while…always threatening to kill me. Killing other soldiers right in front of me. I was rescued, but I… It’s hard to deal with some days.”
Blythe could sympathize. She hadn’t been kidnapped by terrorists, but she knew how hard it could be to deal with your past. And now that she thought about it, she remembered all the news stories about the “American Princess.” Her mom had still been alive then, and they’d had a conversation one night after Penelope was rescued about how the poor woman was going to have to have a lot of therapy to get through what had happened to her.
“Smokey doesn’t care that I need to keep the light on to sleep. He doesn’t care that I feel completely screwed up in the head. He doesn’t boss me around, he’s simply glad to see me every time I visit him.”
“Does he stay in your house?” Blythe asked.
Penelope pouted. “No. My landlord would have a shit fit. Right now, Moose is keeping him for me.”
“Moose. He’s one of the other firefighters, right?” Blythe asked.
“Yeah. A bossy, overbearing, pain-in-the-ass firefighter,” Penelope returned. She took a large swig of her drink, then added quietly, “And one I love so much, sometimes it hurts to be around him.”
Blythe blinked.
“It’s about time you admitted it,” Beth said.
“It’s not like we all didn’t already know how you felt about him,” Sophie added.
“He’s crazy about you too,” Adeline added.
“I’m confused,” Quinn said.
Blythe was glad she said it, because she was lost too.
“If you love him, and he loves you back, why aren’t you with him?” Quinn asked.
“Because!” Penelope practically shouted. “I’m a mess! And we’re total opposites. He’s amazing and so put together it makes me feel bad simply being around him. I know he just feels responsible for me. If he got to know me, really know me, see what was in my head, he’d run in the opposite direction so fast it would make my head spin.”
“You know that’s not true,” Adeline said softly.
“It is. I’m doing what’s best for him.”
“But what about what’s best for you?” Beth asked. “I mean, love conquers all, and all that shit.”
Quinn sighed. “You guys crack me up, and not always in a good way.”
Everyone’s eyes swung to her, and Blythe could see her swallow hard before speaking.
“I mean, look at all of you. You’ve all got men who would move heaven and earth for you. Do you know how rare and awesome that is? Soph, your man went into a burning building, even though it definitely wasn’t safe, to find you. Adeline, I heard Dean almost killed the guy who broke into your hotel room. Beth, it’s more than obvious how far Cade would go for you. Even when he knew you were struggling with pyromania, he didn’t give up on you. Blythe, Squirrel asked all of us to come over tonight and make sure you were good to go on your first night alone. And, Penelope, I can’t believe you’re hesitating for one second to grab that huge hunk of a man who is keeping your donkey at his house, for God’s sake. You’re insane. Seriously.
“The problem is, none of you have ever known what it’s like to not be wanted. All my life, I’ve been shunned because of this stupid mark on my face. Did I ask for it? No. Did I deserve for my birth mother to refuse to touch me because she thought I’d been marked by the devil? No. Did I deserve to be shuttled from one foster home to another and for kids to bully me throughout school? No. But I understand it. When push comes to shove, you have to love yourself before anyone else can.”
Everyone was silent after the somewhat shy woman’s outburst.
“Holy s-shit,” Sophie muttered. “Quinn’s emerged from her s-shell.”
“Oh, I have not. I still don’t like being the center of attention,” she countered. “But I can’t stand for Penelope to be so down on herself. You were a soldier. You somehow survived the worst shit that’s out there. You not only made it through being kidnapped, you didn’t die when that rescue helicopter crashed. And now you have a kick-ass pet, a group of firefighters who would do anything for you, and an alpha male who looks at you with the most pathetic googly eyes I’ve ever seen on someone his size and with his overload of testosterone. I don’t think you have any reason to be hesitant when it comes to Moose. I envy you, Penelope. Hell, I envy all of you.”
And with that, she drained the rest of her drink with one gulp.
“Anyone want another?” she asked, waiting about two seconds before standing and stomping off into the kitchen to get a refill.
“Well, all right then,” Penelope muttered.
“Someone’s been gossiping,” Beth said with a grin as she stared at Sophie.
“S-She’s m-my friend. Of course I’m going to gossip with her,” the other woman shrugged.
“She’s right,” Blythe said. “I mean, we’re all really lucky. I feel incredibly blessed to have met all of you and that you’re here right now.” She looked at Sophie. “You were the first person to make me and Tadd feel like actual human beings out there on the street. You didn’t care if we smelled because we hadn’t showered or if our clothes were dirty and torn.”
“That s-stuff doesn’t m-matter,” Sophie said softly.
“It does to a lot of people. Most people,” Blythe countered. “Tadd and Louise really needed help after they were hurt, and you didn’t even hesitate to offer them your house. Heck, I’m sure you didn’t when Sawyer asked if I could stay here either, did you?”
“Nope. Not for a s-second,” Sophie told her with a grin.
“It’s been a long time since I’ve had friends. Thank you all for coming over. I didn’t admit to Sawyer that I was nervous, but he obviously knew anyway.”
“Why do you call him Sawyer?” Beth asked.
Blythe shrugged. “He doesn’t seem like a ‘Squirrel’ to me. Why is that his nickname, anyway?”
Penelope raised her hand in the air excited
ly, as if she were a first grader in a classroom full of students who knew the answer.
“Why yes, Penelope? You’d like to tell us the answer?” Adeline asked dryly.
She nodded. “Because when he first started at the station, we got a ‘cat stuck in a tree’ call. While the guys were trying to figure out how to get the ladder truck close enough to the tree and not ruin the landscaping, he just walked over and scampered up it like he climbed trees every day. I think it was Sledge who first said he looked like a squirrel, the way he shimmied up the tree. It stuck.”
“He doesn’t exactly fit in with the others, does he?” Quinn asked as she came back into the room with a full drink. “I mean, he kinda reminds me of that Reed guy on Criminal Minds.”
Blythe’s eyes narrowed, and she said with more heat than she intended, “What are you saying? That he’s a nerd? That he’s not as attractive as the other guys? That’s bull. I think his glasses make him look sophisticated. And who cares anyway? Everyone doesn’t have to be a cover model.”
Quinn sat on the edge of the couch and held up her hands in capitulation. “No, no, no. I didn’t mean it in a bad way. Squirrel is hot. Not hot in an ‘I want to do him’ way, because I’m not attracted to him. I mean, I would be if I didn’t already like Driftwood. He’s just not my type but he’s good-looking for sure.” Quinn’s words were rushed and she almost tripped over them, trying to get them out and not offend her new friend.
Blythe stared at Quinn for a moment, then smiled. Then before she knew it, she was laughing so hard she thought she was going to pee her pants. Soon, everyone joined in until the room was filled with laughter.
When Blythe had herself under control, she asked, “So…you and Driftwood?”
Quinn’s cheeks turned bright red and she stammered, “Oh…no…I was just—”
“Don’t lie,” Sophie admonished her. “You like him!”
“Quinn and Driftwood sittin’ in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G,” Adeline sang.
“Stop it,” Quinn ordered, glaring at the other woman.
“It’s not a crime to admit that you like him,” Beth told her.
Quinn shrugged. “He’s…too much for me.”
“Didn’t you just give us a speech about how, if you had a man like ours, you’d snatch him up and never let go?” Beth countered. “Driftwood is a man like ours. And it’s obvious he likes you.”
“He just feels sorry for me,” Quinn said.
Penelope snorted. “Pa-leeze. Girl, you aren’t any different from me! You just sat there and gave me a big ol’ lecture about how Moose didn’t feel responsible for me, when you can’t see what’s right in front of your face. You insinuated that you’ve never been wanted before, but what you aren’t seeing, or are refusing to acknowledge for some reason, is that there’s a man who’s trying really hard to show you exactly how much he wants you. Driftwood soaks up every scrap of information he can get about you. You should see him grill Chief when he knows he and Soph have hung out with you. And the next time I see Driftwood, he’s not going to let me do anything until he hears every little detail about tonight. What you were wearing—cute top, by the way—if you looked okay, if we did anything to make you feel self-conscious. Quinn, the man is into you. Way into you. Throw him a bone, would ya?”
Everyone was silent as Quinn digested Penelope’s words. “I just…I’ve been let down so many times, I don’t think I have it in me to give anyone a chance to hurt me again.”
“A bit ago, you told us that you have to love yourself before anyone else can,” Sophie reminded her. “And while I agree with that, I think that in s-some cases, if you allow s-someone else to love you first, that person can help you learn to love yourself.”
“I hadn’t thought about it that way,” Quinn said.
“You make a very good point, my friend,” Penelope told Sophie.
“What about being friends with him? You can do that, can’t you?” Adeline asked.
Quinn sighed. “That’s not fair to him. I’ve been there. Liked a boy so much, only to be disappointed when nothing happened.”
“Driftwood is not a boy,” Penelope insisted. “He’s a man. A good man. I don’t know what happened to you in the past, but I can guarantee that Driftwood is nothing like those who have hurt you.”
Sophie leaned over and put her hand on her friend’s leg in silent support.
“I’ll think about it,” Quinn finally said.
Smokey surprised everyone by getting up from his place beside Penelope and walking over to Quinn. He put his head in her lap and looked up at her with big brown eyes, as if he understood the pain she was feeling.
“He’s quite the empath,” Penelope said smugly. “He always seems to know when people are sad or scared. That’s why he’s so good for me.”
Everyone laughed but didn’t disagree.
“I’m going to let Coco out. Second, you need to go?” Adeline asked.
As if he understood, the other dog barked once and went right to the door.
“Might as well take Smokey out too,” Penelope said.
“He’s potty-trained?” Blythe asked in surprise.
“Not really, but I keep hoping.”
Everyone chuckled.
Blythe stood and went into the kitchen as the others accompanied their animals outside. Quinn slipped into the bathroom, probably to compose herself. Sophie followed Blythe into the kitchen.
“You doing okay?” Sophie asked.
“Yeah.” She turned to the other woman. “I can’t thank you enough for letting me stay here. I’m going to get out of your hair as soon as I can—”
Sophie held up a hand. “S-Stop it. You can s-stay here as long as you want. I’m not using the house, it’s not a problem.”
“But you could sell it or something. If I wasn’t here—”
“No.”
Blythe put down the glass she’d been holding and glared at Sophie. “Stop interrupting me.”
“Then s-stop s-saying s-stupid s-shit. Hey…look…four S words in a row. Go m-me!”
Blythe had been ready to lay into Sophie. To tell her that she didn’t understand what she was feeling, how she didn’t want to take charity, but when Sophie made fun of herself, Blythe found herself smiling instead.
Then, inexplicably, tears sprang to her eyes at Sophie’s overwhelming kindness. She turned to busy herself with the alcohol and hoped the other woman hadn’t seen.
She considered talking to Sophie about her worry for Hope and Billy. She’d understand and probably rally the troops, so to speak, to try to find them, but the last thing she wanted was to put her, or any of her new friends, in danger. She knew without a doubt Sophie, Adeline, and the others would immediately want to head downtown and start looking, especially since there was a child involved.
Dismissing the idea, she concentrated on the bottle of alcohol in front of her.
“Blythe,” Sophie said softly, putting her hand on her shoulder.
Crap. She’d seen her tears. Taking a deep breath, Blythe spoke, not turning to face her new friend. “I’ve been on my own for a long time. I didn’t trust anyone. Then Tadd and Louise showed up and basically forced me to hang out with them. I loved them like they were my parents. Then just like that,” she snapped her fingers, “they were gone from my life. I just… Tonight has been awesome. I’m not sure how many more people I can lose from my life and keep going.”
“You’re not going to lose us,” Sophie told her with a hint of steel in her tone.
“Shit happens, Sophie. You can’t say that for sure.”
“I can and I will. Blythe, I don’t know what happened to you in the past, but if you disappeared, I’m not the kind of friend who would s-shrug and think, ‘Oh, well, I haven’t heard from Blythe in a while, s-she m-must not like m-me anymore.’ No. If you s-sneak out in the m-middle of the night, I’m going to find you. Unlike S-Squirrel, I’ll totally let Beth track your ass down.”
Blythe turned to her then. “What do you mean?”
“Beth asked S-Squirrel to let her track you by your phone, but he wouldn’t let her. S-Said that you were an adult and that s-she had to treat you like one. But it hurt him, m-make no m-mistake. Penelope s-said s-she could s-see how worried he was about you. Then when you called about M-Milena and her friend being kidnapped by that crazy pedophile guy, he was done. Decided that he wasn’t going to ‘dick around’ anymore. His words, not m-mine. Told Beth to do what s-she could to find you. Chief told m-me he s-spent quite a few of his days off looking for you. But every time he got a location from Beth, you’d m-moved.”
“He looked for me?” Blythe asked, completely shocked.
“Yeah. He looked for you. I probably wasn’t s-supposed to tell you, but whatever. M-My point is, you’ve got friends who won’t let you disappear from our lives like the people in your past obviously did. We don’t care if you go from one of our houses to the next, you won’t ever have to s-sleep on the s-streets again. Chief even told m-me he s-spoke to Cade, arranging it s-so if you needed it, you could have one of the beds at the fire s-station. Not that it’s even necessary because you’re at m-my house and I won’t let you leave until you have s-somewhere s-stable to go, but s-still.”
Blythe was shocked. Completely gobsmacked. “I don’t even know Cade.”
“It doesn’t m-matter. You’re dating S-Squirrel. That’s enough for him.”
“I’m not dating Sawyer,” Blythe denied.
Sophie’s eyebrows raised. “Really? S-So him s-sleeping here for the past week didn’t m-mean anything? Him asking m-me if you could s-stay here, and insisting on paying the m-mortgage while you’re here, doesn’t m-mean anything? Him asking Beth to get you s-some clothes, having the guys s-shop and fill the house with food, and him calling all of us and arranging this little s-slumber party doesn’t m-mean anything?”
Blythe didn’t know what to say. Her chest was tight and she pressed her lips together to try to stem the sobs she knew were only a heartbeat away from escaping.
Sophie’s tone gentled. “And what about his family? He knew his s-sisters were texting you, Blythe. There’s no one he doesn’t protect m-more in this life than them. You think if he didn’t care about you, that he’d let them think you were his girlfriend? If he was helping you out of pity or s-some other reason, I can tell you he’d never, ever let them be involved with you in any way.”