by Ricky Sides
“There is one thing that I could do,” Pete said.
“What’s that?” asked Bill as Pete’s eyes scanned the tunnel behind him for signs of a spy.
“I could change the departure date on the letter. But I won’t. I have no way of knowing for sure that the traitors won’t get in touch with him again and mention the real departure date. If that were to happen, Reggie would immediately become suspicious.”
“Couldn’t you just seal off the base again? That would prevent the traitors from communicating with Reggie.”
“Yes we could do that. But what’s to prevent them from becoming desperate and attempting to leave the shelter just as Reggie did with explosives and guns blazing?” He stopped talking for a moment and his stare at Bill was intense. When he spoke, his voice matched the intensity of his eyes as he said, “I’m not willing to take the chance that any of our people would get killed by the traitors. If I sealed the base, they’d get suspicious. They are probably already paranoid. The slightest change in the routine of the shelter could cause them to do something desperate.”
Bill nodded and said, “I understand.”
“Good. The only thing that we can do is wait it out,” Pete replied and then he added, “For now.”
Chapter 35
For the past week, Jim had worked with Lacey and her son. He’d shown them how to acquire food and other necessities. He’d taught Lacey how to use a pistol and a knife. He had even taught Evan how to help defend his mother, should the need to do so ever arise. He taught Evan how to size up a stranger and determine whether the man was a threat to him and his mother. This had been difficult. Children are conditioned to some extent to trust and obey adults. It had been difficult, but Jim considered it time well spent.
Jim smiled as he thought about the boy. He was so eager to learn all that he could from Jim. He listened attentively while Jim explained the many details concerning potential enemies to him. He had carefully explained to the boy that he had to watch for men who were heavily armed, though that wasn’t always true. He’d then had to explain to the boy that many Marauders would seek to fool their victims by appearing to be unarmed. He’d painstakingly taught the boy the facial expressions that would warn him that the man was a Marauder. These expressions were often the first indications of the true intent of the Marauders and they ranged from predatory leers to anger and hate.
At the end of the first week of training, Jim was sitting in the living room with Lacey and Evan. He was once again talking to them about the ability to perceive hostile intent. He looked Evan in the eye and said, “I saved the worst type of Marauder for last. He is the kind of man who may or may not be armed. He will appear to be a good man, but he really isn’t. His manners may be smoothly polished.” Jim stopped talking for a moment and looked at the confused faces of the mother and son. He asked, “Am I going too fast for you?”
“Not really. But if there are men like that, how will we know who to trust?” Lacey replied.
Jim smiled at the woman. He said, “Don’t either of you answer this question. I want you to think about it for a moment.” Both of the students nodded their understanding so Jim continued, “What was the first thing I taught you?”
Lacey appeared confused for a moment. It was clear to Jim that she’d forgotten the very first lesson. He smiled at her and noted that Evan didn’t remember either. “The very first thing I taught you both was not to trust anyone. Always assume the worst until the individual has proven beyond a doubt that he doesn’t mean you any harm.”
Lacey sadly shook her head and said, “I guess you’re disappointed in us.”
“No, not at all,” he said with a smile. “I taught martial arts for a while. That was years ago but I recall having the same problem back then. People don’t like to think about all of the bad things that can happen to them.” Jim shrugged his shoulders to emphasize his point and said, “So they tend to forget certain things at first. It is a perfectly natural reaction. Your minds are turning away from something that frightens you. You’ll both be past that stage in no time at all.”
“I hope so,” Lacey replied dubiously.
“So do I,” replied Jim. He looked pointedly at Evan and added, “For your own sake, as well as Evan’s.”
His glance at her son didn’t escape the notice of the mother. Jim smiled at her and said, “Don’t worry. By the time I’m through teaching you, the both of you should be able to go pretty much anywhere and do pretty much anything in relative safety, as long as you follow a few simple principals and take adequate precautions.”
Lacey smiled shyly. She was grateful for Jim’s vote of confidence. “Thank you. I hope that I don’t disappoint you.”
“I’m sure you won’t,” he replied.
Lacey asked, “Why did you stop teaching?”
“You mean martial arts?”
“Yes.”
“It’s a long story. One that I’m sure would bore you.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry into your life,” Lacey replied, and from her embarrassed expression, Jim could tell that she was probably thinking that he didn’t want to answer her question.
“I’ll give you the short version,” he said and smiled. “The long one would probably put you both to sleep.”
“Somehow, I doubt that,” Lacey said with a warm smile.
Jim returned the smile and leaned back in the chair he was sitting in getting comfortable before he began his narrative. “I taught martial arts for several years. From time to time, I had some promising students. I even had two with the potential to become better than me.” He looked at Lacey and Evan. “That’s every instructor’s dream. At least the good instructors always hope for such students.” He paused at the confused expressions on the faces of his listeners and said, “I see that I’ve confused you again. Let me try to explain.”
He leaned forward in the chair and stared intently into their faces, then said, “If a student works really hard, then he should surpass his instructor. You see, the student has the knowledge of the instructor and their own knowledge and experience gleaned from personal research of the arts. Therefore, if they are reasonably talented, they should surpass their master or instructor, provided they progress to the same level of training. This is of course assuming that they are skilled, have good balance, flexibility, control, and are reasonably intelligent.”
Jim leaned back in the chair. “If an instructor is any good at all then he is always seeking such individuals.” Turning to Evan he asked, “Do you know the biggest compliment a student can give an instructor?”
Lines of concentration appeared on the boy’s forehead as he thought for a moment and then he replied, “Tell you that you’re the greatest instructor in the world,” he speculated.
Jim laughed at this and said, “No, Evan. The best compliment that a student can give the instructor is to become more skilled than the instructor.”
“I see,” said Lacey, but then her expression became puzzled and she said, “But I don’t see what all that has to do with why you stopped teaching.”
Jim’s smile faded and he stared down at the floor for a moment. When he finally spoke again his voice sounded strained. His eyes took on a distant cast as some people do when they are remembering something unpleasant. He said, “For years I taught people. I was doing great until I took in two new students. They were a man and woman, and were a couple who lived together. I’d known the man for years, so I felt close to him. He had been in the army for a few years and he already had the fundamentals down from that experience. Up until that time, I’d specialized in teaching men. I had taught a few women and younger girls, but I never took them very seriously,” Jim paused and looked at Lacey. An anguished expression came over his face briefly. A wan smile quickly replaced that tormented expression on his face. Nevertheless, Lacey had seen it.
Her full attention was now focused on what Jim was saying. She had a feeling that he was about to reveal something about himself. Something that was ve
ry important to him. She listened carefully as he continued, “I’d been teaching the couple for two months when the girl got sick and was hospitalized. I went to visit her in the hospital and she talked to me for a while about this and that. Nothing important. Finally, the subject of women rape victims came up. To be honest with you, I don’t remember how the subject even came up. One minute we were discussing women martial artists, and the next we were discussing women rape victims.”
Lacey suddenly had the feeling that she knew where this was going. She shifted her body slightly as Jim paused in his narration and said, “Go ahead, Jim.”
Pain was evident on Jim’s face as he vividly remembered the details of the girl’s rape. She’d confided in him about the experience. With the returning memories, he also remembered how the subject had changed from women martial artists to women rape victims. His voice betrayed his emotional turmoil as he said; “Now I remember how the subject of women rape victims came up that night. I had been considering running a women’s rape prevention seminar, in the hopes of drumming up more business for the school. I remember asking her what she thought of the idea and she said she thought it was a good idea. Then she told me her story. It was a story of abduction and rape.” Jim stopped and looked at Evan. “I won’t go into the details, but I’ll say this much, they were very graphic. The man took her to an old abandoned house way out in the country. Once there, he brutally beat and raped her. He was constantly telling her he intended to kill her. He sat down at a table that he’d set up in the house and drank most of the night. Toward dawn, he decided to try to rape her again. He was so drunk that she managed to knock him out and get away.”
Jim stopped talking for a moment and reached for his glass of coke that was sitting on the table next to him. Lacey knew that he was trying to compose himself before he continued. She could see the knuckles of his right hand turning white as he held the glass and knew that he was struggling with a rising anger that the memories had brought to the surface. He was surprised that the anger was as strong today as it had been all those years ago when he had first heard the girl’s story. A special bond usually formed between Jim and his students. The student became more than just a customer purchasing the services of the instructor. The student became what for lack of a better term Jim called extended family. Though not related by blood, he viewed the students with the same sense of concern that he would a blood relative. He’d been criticized for this by some instructors, but praised for it by others.
He sat the glass down and said, “The girl was so scared that she didn’t even think to get the man’s keys to his car. She grabbed her torn clothes and rushed out into the night. She couldn’t run fast because her arms and legs were numb from being tied all night.”
With a child’s inquisitiveness, Evan asked, “If she was tied up, how did she knock the man out?”
Jim looked at the child in an awkward silence for a moment as he recalled that he had asked the girl that same question. There was no way he was going to tell the boy the truth, which was that the girl had taken advantage of the man’s drunken state and promised to give him something special if he untied her hands. When he’d done this, she had grabbed a small statue that the man had won at the fair and hit him right between the eyes with it.
No, he couldn’t tell the boy the truth about this, so he lied and said, “During the night she got one hand free and she hit him with a small statue that he kept on a table.”
Lacey met Jim’s stare with one of her own. She suspected that he wasn’t telling the whole truth. She had a good idea how the girl had gotten free and she was glad that Jim had protected her son from that truth.
Both of the adults felt pangs of doubt about having this discussion in front of Evan. However, both had concluded that if Evan were to survive in the weeks and months ahead, he was going to have to be exposed to some pretty awful truths. Lacey had given Jim full reign to teach her son anything he felt that the boy needed to survive. That included some things that in normal circumstances neither would have exposed him to at his age. Still, there were limits, beyond which neither of the adults was willing to go.
Jim frowned and said, “After she got away, she got dressed and headed down the road looking for help. The trip down that deserted road was almost as bad as the events in the house. She was terrified. Several times, she saw car headlights behind her. Each time this happened she hid in the ditch, staying out of sight until the car had passed her.” He paused and looked at Evan. “She was afraid the man she was running from was in the car looking for her.”
The boy solemnly nodded his head and said, “That’s what I’d do too, Jim.” Then with a child’s impatience he asked, “Was it the man?”
Jim shook his head. “No, the man was still knocked out in the house. She hit him a good solid blow. But try to understand, Evan; the girl had no way of knowing that. It took her a long time, but just as the sun was coming up she got to a house. An old man lived in the house. He let her in to call the police and stood guard outside his home with a shotgun until the police arrived. The girl led them back to the house and they arrested the bad man.”
Lacey could see that Jim was glad he’d finished telling the story. She said, “I’m glad the girl got away. What happened after she got out of the hospital?”
“I taught that women’s rape prevention seminar. But not to drum up business as I’d first intended to do. Rather selfishly, I might add. It was free to the public. I persuaded my martial arts Master to teach me many things specially geared to the topic so that I could help the women. He also came in and taught a couple of subjects for me. When he did this, I watched him very carefully. I incorporated what he was teaching into my classes as well. By the time that seminar was completed I understood that I would never be the same,” Jim paused and looked at Lacey. “To tell you the truth, until the conversation with that girl, I’d never given the topic much serious thought. She made the subject take on a more personal meaning for me. After that, I gradually drifted into the specialty of teaching women.”
“Eventually this created social problems for me.” Grinning at Lacey he said, “You know what I mean. Female student crushes, a jealous wife, that sort of thing.” Lacey nodded her understanding. “It finally got to the point that I just shut down all of my classes. I had just promoted my two most promising women to second level black belts. They were capable of carrying on the tradition. They were the logical choice since teaching other women wouldn’t have led to social issues for them, and I wanted to try to save my marriage.”
“Did they teach?”
Jim sadly shook his head and said, “That’s why I began to help people again”
“That’s nice, Jim. You’re a good man,” said Lacey.
“Not really.” He looked at her with a somber expression on his face, his eyes were sad as he said, “Don’t put me on any pedestals. I’ve done my share of wrong during my life. Things that I’m not the least bit proud of doing. Things that I hope the two of you never learn.”
Lacey leaned forward in her chair and said, “You’re human. Human’s make mistakes in their lives.”
“A mistake is something that you do wrong unintentionally. Most of the wrong that I’ve done was deliberate.”
“Yes, but you feel remorse for those actions now. You do, don’t you?” she asked with an intent expression on her face.
“Yes I do, but I’m not sure that I wouldn’t do the same things all over again,” he stated.
Lacey leaned back in her seat and grinned. “I am,” she said simply. Her statement was so simple, yet she said it with so much conviction that for a moment, Jim wondered if she could see into his soul and see the depths of remorse he truly felt for every petty wrong he’d ever committed.
“Thanks for the vote of confidence. I really appreciate it.”
“You’re welcome,” Lacey said with a satisfied smile on her face.
“Oh, you mentioned trying to save your marriage. I take it that didn’t work out?”
“No it didn’t, and I blame myself for that,” Jim stated. “She was a good woman. It was my fault for not paying enough attention to her. She deserved better than I was giving. She remarried a year after the divorce. I haven’t spoken to her since.”
“You two never had children?” Lacey asked.
Jim sadly shook his head and replied, “We almost did, but there was a miscarriage.” Jim stopped talking then and fought for control of his emotions. His face turned ashen as once more the memories of that awful hospital visit haunted him. Lacey saw the torment in the man’s eyes and her heart went out to him. In turn, the expression of compassion on her face seemed to make the emotions he was feeling rise up and threaten to overwhelm him.
Oblivious to the pain that Jim was experiencing, Evan asked a question. It was an innocent question, born of a child’s curiosity. He asked, “Was it a boy or a girl?”
“Evan!” his mother intoned sharply.
“It’s all right. He means no harm,” Jim said sadly. Looking at Evan, Jim said, “She was a girl, son.”
“What was her name?” the little boy asked still oblivious to Jim’s pain. His mother gasped but held her tongue.
Jim’s heart was breaking. Despite all of his efforts to control his emotions, tears formed in his eyes. “Her name was Brandy,” Jim said in an emotion-choked voice, and then he added, “I named her. Some say that’s odd. I say my daughter deserved at least to have a name.”
Evan belatedly realized the man was very upset. He said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you hurt inside.” The little boy got up, walked over to Jim, wrapped his arms around his neck, and gave him a hug.
Jim patted him on the back and said, “That’s all right, Evan. I know you didn’t mean to hurt me. But losing a child is something you never truly get over.”