The back door to the house was unlocked. When I opened it, I was greeted by the heavenly aroma of coffee.
“How do you take yours?” Jessup asked, nodding to the pot.
“Black.”
Jessup poured me a cup and handed it to me. “I woke up early so that I could shovel out a path for your car, but when I went to look at your tires, I saw they were almost bald.”
“Are not,” I said defensively, trying to think back to my last car inspection. They’d told me things were wearing a little thin, but not to the point they’d have to be replaced. That had been almost a year ago. “Okay. Maybe you’re right. I could always call one of those roadside assistance companies to come replace them…”
I fidgeted with my phone, putting in the password on the lock screen so that I could get to Google and summon someone to come save me.
“We’re in the middle of nowhere, on a private road that doesn’t get plowed, which is off of a back road that won’t get plowed until the main roads do. I checked the news this morning and half of North Carolina is expected to more or less shut down for the next couple of days if the radar predictions are right.”
“Until Christmas?”
“Afraid so.”
I took a deep breath and tried to center myself. I’d already be missing Christmas with my parents. If I couldn’t get back to Wilmington, I’d be missing the holiday festivities with the Vixens, too. It would be one thing if it was just another one of our get togethers, but this was the final hurrah with Latosha and Iman. I closed my eyes for a moment, willing myself to keep things in perspective.
I had a roof over my head. I had access to food. I wasn’t in a ditch somewhere like I would’ve been if I’d left the night before. Besides, we had access to cars, planes, Skype, and snail mail. It wasn’t the last opportunity I’d have to see my friends.
“I know this wasn’t what you had in mind when you pointed your car in this direction, but you definitely saved Christmas. There’s no way the replacement gifts I’d planned to order for Amy would get here in time with all of the inclement weather.”
Jessup stepped closer and the world blurred around us. “I haven’t had a spare moment with you alone to thank you.”
He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me flush with his body. Jessup usually ran hot, but the icy cold of his hands cut right through my shirt. Who knows how long he’d spent outside, exposed to the elements in the dark of the December morning, and all for me. While he’d been doing manual labor, I’d been having sweet dreams about what might have happened if I’d spent the night at his side.
I returned his embrace and pulled him tighter, hoping to give him some of my body heat.
I thought about what it would be like to take him back to his bedroom, strip him down layer by layer so that I could get him warm again. I’d pull off his Timberland boots and the thick wool socks that had been soaked through with snow. He’d peel off his waffle-pattern flannel, revealing the smooth skin and chiseled muscles underneath. I’d fumble with his belt until it clattered to the floor, unbutton and unzip his jeans—
Behind us, I heard the refrigerator door open. “You two lovebirds leave room for Jesus.”
I jumped back, embarrassed. What Randy had seen me doing to his brother was rated G— just a hug— but nothing about my thoughts had been family friendly. I hid my burning cheeks behind my mug of coffee while Randy rummaged in a nearby drawer to find a spoon for his yogurt.
“My brother here has tried to convince me that we don’t need to open the restaurant, but bills don’t get paid if we shut things down just because a pretty girl decided to show up on our doorstep. Can’t have him developing bad habits before I’ve even deported.”
Randy’s gaze bore into me pointedly. “He’s busy today. He’s going to be busy when I leave. I hope you can understand that.”
Jessup’s voice transformed into the scary, angry calm I’d heard the night he kicked me out of his apartment. “The reason I tried to convince you to keep the restaurant closed today has nothing to do with Jody, so leave her out of it. I don’t want our employees driving to work when the roads are in this condition, risking their necks to cook and serve barbeque when there isn’t going to be anyone there to eat it.”
I backed away from their stare down, not wanting to get caught in the crossfire. It was clear Jessup wasn’t the only one in his family capable of the intense eye contact I’d come to expect from him. Where Jessup was clearly hurt from the loss of his mother and seemed to have a tendency towards brooding, something about Randy was just unsettling.
I tried not to be quick to judge, knowing how willing he was to sacrifice for his family and his country. If I were him, chances are good I’d also have misplaced rage brewing inside me.
“Not up for discussion. If you want to call them and tell them to take a snow day, be my guest, but that means we do double the work.”
“Fine,” Jessup uttered through gritted teeth.
“Get your coat on. We’re going.”
“And you—” Randy said, looking at me. “While we’re gone, I need you to watch out for Amy. Make sure she doesn’t get into anything.”
I nodded, unable to find my voice to answer. Yesterday, Randy had been funny. Playful, almost. Today, he was a nightmare. It was like something had turned a switch in him.
While the men donned their snow apparel, I rummaged around in the cabinets until I found a large thermos that I could fill with the remaining coffee. If they were walking all the way to the barbeque lodge, they were going to need it.
* * *
By the time Amy came out from hibernation at noon, I’d done everything I could think of to earn my keep. I figured that if Randy came home to a house that was sparkling clean, he’d be a little less likely to continue his hostility towards me.
There was also a part of me that was defiant. Suggesting that I couldn’t be with Jessup for all the reasons I already worried I couldn’t be with Jessup only made me want him more. Could I overlook the fact that he would soon be hours away and have a heap of responsibilities that would prevent him from getting in his car and sweeping me off my feet in Wilmington whenever things got hard? Throw my heart on the line and hope love would conquer all?
The carpet had crisp parallel lines from the vacuum, the bathroom was immaculate from the top of the shower down to the baseboards, the dishwasher emptied, and all of the clothes in the hamper had been washed and dried. Khakis and button ups were starched and ironed, the rest of the clothing folded neatly or laid flat on the couch to be hung up when the men got home. I wasn’t going to put their things away. Even though I could guess roughly at what belonged to who— the hipster grandpa sweaters to Jessup and the camo and ripped jeans to Randy— I didn’t want them to think I was trying to be nosy or go through their closets and drawers.
I’d even texted asking if there was anything I could put in the crockpot for dinner.
“Don’t bother. Barely any customers. Going to have lots of leftovers tonight.” Not long after, I’d gotten a series of texts asking me to pray that Jessup wouldn’t kill his brother, that Randy was being a real pistol, and strings of angry emojis that I couldn’t quite decipher but didn’t seem to get at anything good. Clearly, having two hotheads holed up in a snowstorm wasn’t going well for either of them.
After Amy and I made bagel sandwiches stuffed with egg and oozing cheese, she asked me if she could show me something. I followed her into her bedroom where we sat cross legged on the floor. She pulled a box out from under her bed.
“I had to think for a long time about what to do for my brothers for Christmas. I stopped getting an allowance after Mom died and didn’t really think it was something I should ask for, so I don’t have a lot of money I can use to buy them something. One day when I was in Mom’s room, trying to feel close to her, I found this box of pictures in the back of the closet. My best friend’s mom helped me get a big scrapbook and some craft supplies. I figured I could make a family album for Rand
y and Jessup.”
My chest swelled for Amy, for both her loss and her thoughtfulness. As a kid, she shouldn’t have to shoulder this idea that it was also partially her responsibility to make things better for everyone else. I reached out and squeezed her arm, wishing I could take back all the afternoons she must have burrowed into her mom’s bed while Jessup was at school and Randy at the restaurant, trying to find glimpses of a woman that couldn’t come back home. It broke my heart.
“Let’s see what you’ve got so far.”
She nodded, cracking the scrapbook open. The first page was pictures of the woman I assumed was their mother, a hell-raiser in her teenage years sporting chokers and Mary Janes. In one picture, she was blowing a kiss to her photographer. In another, she was leaned back against a muscle car, narrowing her eyes over a pair of sleek sunglasses.
“Your mom looks like a fashion icon or a pop star.”
“Not the version of her I grew up with. Once mom joined the military, she ditched all the accessories and wild outfits.”
Amy proved her point by flipping the page to a spread of her mother’s army days. In those pictures, her expressions were more serious, her body bulked up with muscle underneath her white tees and fatigues.
It seemed like I’d seen two different women. Amy was clearly the daughter of the woman from the first page, all spunk and sass. Randy and Jessup belonged to the woman that woke up at the crack of dawn to a sergeant’s scream, prepared to run for miles with a pack after she’d made up her bunk.
“You’ve got a real talent for this,” I said, pointing at the careful way she’d cropped or framed each photo, the captions she’d scripted in careful cursive. “Your brothers are going to love it.”
“Wanna see the pictures of Jessup when he was a kid?” Her eyes lit up like she was doing something truly mischievous. If showing me pictures of her brother when he had cowlicks and missing teeth was her idea of getting up to trouble, something told me Jessup was going to be able to handle her just fine. Amy was a good kid. They’d figure out how to coexist in their new roles as dependent and guardian.
The picture of Jessup cradling Amy the night she was born and beaming down at her with the sweetest smile I’d ever seen seemed like further proof of that.
20
By the time Randy and I got home, every inch of my skin felt frozen solid and my muscles ached. I couldn’t remember ever feeling so rigid. I threw a small cooler full of food on the table for people to pick at when they were hungry for dinner. We’d stuck to a limited menu, mostly the stuff that was easiest to cook: smoked ham biscuits, ribs, deviled eggs, and cucumber salad. Only a few bored neighbors that lived on the same road as the restaurant came through the front door.
When I pushed past Randy into the bathroom for a shower, I was surprised to find Jody had already drawn a bath in anticipation of us getting home. “I made the essential oil soak myself. The eucalyptus and spearmint will open your senses.”
I just smiled and nodded. I didn’t understand her need to create New Age potions when hot water by itself would do the job just fine, but I didn’t want to belittle her when she seemed to be warming to the idea of me again.
Jody also had the forethought to put a pair of my pajama pants and a t-shirt in front of the fireplace to heat up so I’d be able to slip into something toasty when I finished with my soak. I grabbed them from the hearth and watched Jody and Randy begin to interact, worried the morning’s tension would carry into the night.
He was too flummoxed by the freshly cleaned house to raise a stink about the attention she’d given me. When he saw that even the laundry had been done, his jaw nearly hit the floor.
“What did you think I’d do while you were gone? Sit around and eat all your food while I binged bad television?”
“If this is you on a warpath to convince me your presence isn’t detrimental to Jessup running the restaurant and the house, I guess you can stick around.”
Jody beamed a self-satisfied smile.
“At least for now,” he amended.
That was my cue to jump into the tub so that I wouldn’t keep his jaws from flapping with my fists. If Jody was worried about me being quick to anger, snapping at Randy wasn’t going to help. Even if he deserved it.
Once clean, I made my way to the kitchen and fixed myself a plate. I scarfed everything down cold. There were occasions I wished my family could be known for making healthier food so that it wasn’t so hard to stay lean. This wasn’t one of them. I was glad to have a meal that would stick to the bones. An honest meal seemed a fitting payment for an honest day’s work.
I didn’t hear Jody and Amy carrying on, so I assumed they were out in the She Shed again. I couldn’t begrudge my sister the happiness Jody brought her, but I was hoping I’d also get a night where I could keep her to myself. Be patient, I thought. It’s not like she can go anywhere.
The thought wasn’t a pleasant one. She was only with me because she had no other choice. If mother nature hadn’t trapped her here, she’d be halfway across the state and already putting her short time with me behind her.
Stay warm out there tonight, I texted.
Kicking me out? She responded, tacking on a frowning emoji. That’s too bad. I was getting awfully cozy in your bedroom.
I’d never made it upstairs to my room so quickly. Once the door was closed behind me, I drank in the sight of her. She was stretched out across the top of my flannel sheets, wearing just an oversized t-shirt of mine from a local chili cook-off and a pair of my warmest socks. On anyone else, it would have looked ridiculous. On her? She looked like she should be a calendar girl for chili cook-offs everywhere.
“Where’s Amy?” I asked, knowing that once I got my hands on Jody it would be impossible to ask the responsible questions.
“Working on a project for your Christmas present. She’s made some good headway, but something tells me she’s going to be occupied for at least a couple of hours.”
I quirked an eyebrow. “So, you’re a personal shopper, expert gift wrapper, house cleaner, and you’ve squeezed in time to help her with whatever it is she’s working on?”
Jody shook her head, her blonde waves tumbling down over her shoulder. “You give me too much credit. She’s done everything herself.”
“I’m the only one that’s helpless?” I asked.
“Pretty much,” Jody said, leaning forward and grabbing hold of my pants to pull me toward the bed. “So helpless I’m going to be the one to have to try and initiate our first kiss. Again,” she said.
Before I could scramble to flick the light off and tumble down onto the bed, an electric beeping sound chirped through the house and everything turned pitch black around us. Not even the blue numbers on my alarm clock interrupted the darkness, which could only mean one thing.
“The power’s out.” I wasn’t surprised; the power lines had been heavy with ice when Randy and I made our way back home.
“You were about to make it dark in here, anyway,” Jody pointed out, tugging at the drawstring on my pants.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath in, trying to contain my frustration. I wanted nothing more than to mount Jody and forget the rest of the world, but the situation at hand was a perfect reminder of why I couldn’t give into the urges that screamed for me to make her the center of my universe.
“Amy hasn’t been able to sleep in the dark by herself since mom died. Either someone has to be in the room, or the lights have to be on. She says it helps with the nightmares.”
“That explains why she asked to leave on the pixie lights last night.”
As though on demand, Amy called up from downstairs. “Does anyone know where the flashlight is?”
“Be right down,” I hollered, throwing the bedroom door open. I found Jody’s face in the dark and cupped her cheek with my palm. “They say good things come to those who wait. When you finally get that first kiss, I’m going to make sure it’s worth every extra second leading up to it.”
She
covered my hand with hers for a moment before standing and feeling her way through the dark to find where she’d left her jeans in a heap by the closet.
* * *
About forty-five minutes later, we’d stockpiled the candles in the living room and had enough of them glowing for Amy to feel secure. Stealing an idea from the She Shed, we’d also pulled all the comforters and sleeping bags from our bedrooms and linen closet into the middle of the floor for a group sleepover. Amy was in between Jody and I.
From his perch on the couch, Randy was using his laptop to check on the restaurant. We had a security system that would allow us to check on the store remotely, a feature that had come in handy the few times the security alarms had gone off.
“Power’s still on there for the time being. From what I saw on Facebook, though, most of the town is without electricity.”
I nodded, still on hold with the power company. According to their message, I was number twenty in line to report an outage.
“You know what that means,” Amy said.
“We’re lucky we don’t have to go back to work and turn on the generator so we don’t lose all the meat in the fridge,” Randy muttered.
“No. The last time the restaurant had power but barely anybody else did, Mom made us keep the restaurant open so that no one would go hungry.”
I tousled Amy’s hair. She was always the first to hold us to Mom’s code of conduct, even when Randy and I conveniently forgot the things that were harder to do.
“The last time we had a blizzard, mom told everyone to bring their meat that was in danger of going bad to us. We cooked up everyone’s food for them so they would have something to eat when their ovens wouldn’t work.”
“Most folks have grills they could’a used,” Randy muttered.
“Yeah, but not all of them. If you want to stay here in the dark tomorrow, that’s just fine, but I bet Jody and Jessup will help me do what’s right.”
Amy looked at me expectantly.
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