by J. S. Scott
“Good,” Travis answered briskly, standing and brushing imaginary wrinkles from his suit.
“But I’m not changing the way I dress unless it’s for a necessary function that requires I be boring,” Kade warned him, trying to keep the laughter from his voice.
“Agreed,” Travis replied reluctantly. Stopping with his hand on the doorknob and his back to Kade, he paused. “You know, sometimes it scares the hell out of me, but I’m actually starting to look forward to seeing your fluffy bunny shirts and dancing banana ties every day.”
“Well, damn,” Kade said under his breath. “I guess he did miss me.” His brother’s comment was the closest thing he’d ever heard to a confession that he wanted to be closer to Kade, see him more often.
Travis moved to leave, but turned around again. “Incidentally, we’ve uncovered some not-so-legal business practices of Asha’s ex-husband. He employs Indian students illegally and works them like dogs. Pays them almost nothing, but they’re desperate so they do it. Since they aren’t supposed to be working here on a student visa, they keep their mouths shut about it. Rumor has it that the women get the worst of it, but they can’t report him when he mistreats them or assaults them because they’re afraid they’ll be in trouble for working illegally.”
“Bastard,” Kade spat out with disgust.
“He’ll get what’s coming to him, Kade. Be patient. This will help more people than just Asha,” Travis said cautiously, drilling Kade with an intense stare.
Kade shook his head, trying to push down on the anger he felt every time he imagined someone hurting Asha. But now that he knew the asshole was hurting others, he knew he had to find a way to control himself. After all, Asha was safe. “I’ll wait,” he answered in a clipped voice.
Travis’s phone started blasting an upbeat music ringtone, and he yanked the phone from his pocket, glaring at it like it was his worst enemy. “Goddamn it! How the hell did she get my phone this time?”
“Ms. Caldwell?” Kade asked, smirking at Travis’s phone.
“She’s a pain in my ass. She’s fired this time.” Travis stomped out of the office, the door closing behind him.
Kade chuckled, staring at the closed door, not the least bit afraid for Ally. Travis threatened to fire her at least once a day, and she was still here. His brother could snarl and get pissed off all he wanted…there was no way he’d get rid of Ally. He needed her too much. Honestly, Kade wasn’t sure what Travis would do without her anymore. She might irritate the hell out of him, but she kept him on his toes.
Glancing at the clock, he decided it was time to go home.
As he left the office, he grinned at his secretary, Karen, and she smiled right back, both of them hearing the heated exchange between Ally and Travis in the next office. Kade doubted anyone took it seriously anymore because it happened on a daily basis.
“Have a good night, Mr. Harrison,” Karen chirped.
“You, too,” he returned with a wave.
Every night had been good lately now that he had Asha. He didn’t expect tonight to be any different.
He drove home way faster than he should, anxious to get to his house and see Asha’s smiling face, wondering how he’d gotten so dependent on seeing her in such a short space of time. But he had, and having her in his life had changed the way he looked at everything now. His future was no longer bleak, and he was moving on with his life. Finally, he was starting to think less and less about the football career he had lost and more about what lay ahead in the future. He parked in front of his house with a smile on his face.
Kade was assaulted by the feeling of emptiness the moment he entered his house.
Asha’s not here.
It was odd, but he could always sense her presence. There was a feeling of lightness and joy in his home whenever Asha was present. When she wasn’t, it was vacant and oppressively lonely.
“Asha?” He called her name urgently as he checked the kitchen, only to find it empty. He bolted up the stairs, shedding his suit jacket as he went.
He immediately noticed the two large drawings on the bed, and he moved closer to study them.
The first drawing was one he recognized. It was the self-portrait that he had seen when he’d first taken Asha’s things, the picture of her yearning for a man, and the man’s face in shadow. Moving on to the next, he recognized himself right away, and he identified Asha as the woman with her head resting against his shoulder. A woman who appeared incredibly happy and satisfied.
Two pictures.
Both subjects the same.
But the emotions were completely different.
Holding them up, Kade looked at them side by side. He understood her message immediately. He’d have to be a complete idiot not to comprehend that she was telling him that he’d satisfied her needs. He replaced the pictures, his heart thundering in his chest, happy beyond belief that Asha was saying he’d made her happy. ’Cause really, that was all he wanted.
There was a note next to the pictures, and he picked it up and opened it. There was only one paragraph:
Dearest Kade,
I wanted to say good-bye in person, but I guess I’m a coward. Maybe that’s one of the many things I need to work on about myself. I couldn’t go without thanking you for everything you’ve done for me. You saved my life, but I can’t stay. I’m not strong enough for this right now, and I’m confused. I need time and space to work on my problems. You don’t deserve a woman as messed-up and broken as I am right now. Please forgive me for not telling you this in person, but I think it’s better this way. I called the hospital in Nashville to get the total of the bill. My work doesn’t cover the full amount, so I’ve left a check for the rest on your dresser. You’ll never know how much I cherish our time together, and I’ll never forget everything you’ve done for me.
Be Happy,
Asha
Kade walked to his dresser in a daze, unable to process what Asha had written. He picked up the check, absently noting that she needed to charge more for her work. It was nearly the full amount of her hospital bill. Next to the check was the phone he’d given her, and the reason that she had left it was obvious.
She wants to make sure I can’t contact her.
“She can’t really be gone,” he assured himself in a disbelieving voice.
Walking into the room across the hall, he found the clothing that Maddie and Mia had bought her. The room looked the same, but it felt different. The laptop he had gifted her was gone from the desk. The dresser drawers where she kept the clothes she wore were empty, and her suitcase was gone.
“No,” he denied emphatically, shaking his head as he stared blankly at the empty drawer he’d just opened. “She wouldn’t leave me. She said she wouldn’t.”
Ultimately, reality crept in, leaving him rooted to the carpet on the floor of her room, his whole body shuddering.
His disbelief turned to frustration and disappointment…and finally desolation. “Why? Why would she go?” he rasped, already knowing what the answer was to his question. She simply didn’t want to be with him.
His fist crashed down on the dresser hard enough to make a mark. “Fuck! Did I really think she’d be happy with me?” he shouted loudly, devastation eating at his soul. “I’m a lame bastard with nothing to offer except money, and she doesn’t need that anymore.” Completely destroyed, he kicked out with his damaged leg, slamming it into the dresser. It hurt like hell, but the agony of losing Asha was still more acute, a fiery pain in his chest that threatened to consume him.
Limping to the bed, he sat, staring at the picture Asha had painted on this accent wall. It was a beach scene, waves crashing to the shore and a sky that seemed to stretch to infinity. Right now, Kade wished he could be in the drawing, let it swallow him up and devour him.
You can’t let this destroy you.
He tried reaching inside himself for
some last reserve of strength or endurance, but he found none. There was nothing left.
Kade slept in Asha’s bed that night, the light smell of jasmine torturing him until it slowly faded away, taking any glimmer of happiness he’d had along with it.
The first six weeks of Asha’s total freedom turned out to be one of the most difficult times of her life. Not talking to Kade, not seeing his handsome face every day was agony, and the desire to call him was almost irresistible. She picked up her new phone several times a day, only to shove it back in her purse again with a sigh. Those ties were broken, and chances were that she wouldn’t get a positive reaction from him. She’d burnt that bridge in an effort to give Kade a chance to find a better partner, and she needed to stay out of his life.
Finally, she’d admitted to herself that she hadn’t really been confused about the way she felt about him. She loved him. Probably always would. Most of her fears arose from the uncertainty of how he felt about her, and her certainty that he deserved a much better woman in his life than her.
Christmas came and went, and she had put up a tree, but she decided against the stocking. It would end up as empty as her life on Christmas morning.
She continued her therapy with Dr. Miller, trying to free herself from the invisible chains that had held her immobile her entire life. She worked nearly every day, and had bought a used compact car to get around. Driving was a challenge. Although she had a license, she had driven very little in her life. She cursed other drivers often, but she was a little afraid that it was really her skills that were lacking.
However, every day she grew more confident in everything new that she was doing, and started losing her fear of life. Sometimes trying to shed the guilt and shame that plagued her seemed like an uphill battle, but she kept taking small steps up the incline. She’d get there…eventually.
“I have a small confession to make,” her neighbor, Tate Colter, told her as he poured himself another cup of coffee.
His voice jolted her out of her musings. Tate had been a glimmer of light for Asha. She’d met him a week after she’d moved into her apartment. He lived directly across the hall, and on the day he’d moved in, they had literally bumped into each other. She was getting into the elevator as Tate was getting out. He was on crutches from a broken leg, but she’d failed to see him because she was in a hurry and had literally bowled him over, leaving the poor guy on the floor of the elevator. Mortified, she’d helped him up and followed him to his apartment, trying to make sure she hadn’t damaged his leg. He’d assured her he was fine and invited himself over for coffee.
“I’m not really gay,” he admitted, his voice just a little guilty.
Asha smiled as she sipped her coffee at Tate’s kitchen table. When she had hesitated that first day to invite him in, he had assured her he was no threat because he wasn’t interested in women except as friends. “Really?” she questioned pseudo innocently, already having guessed the truth quite some time ago.
“You looked nervous and I didn’t want to scare you. So it was the best thing I could think of at the time,” Tate said, his voice remorseful. “Forgive me?”
Asha looked at him and the nearly irresistible grin he gave her. Tate was incredibly attractive. With his pleading gray eyes, short blond hair, and the hint of a dimple on the side of his smiling mouth, Asha was pretty sure there wasn’t a woman in the world who wouldn’t cave when they looked at him. She sighed, wishing she could be just a little bit attracted to Tate, but she wasn’t. She loved his company, but she was starting to think that anyone who wasn’t Kade just wouldn’t do it for her. “I already did. Weeks ago.”
“You guessed? What gave me away?” Tate asked curiously.
“Hmm…I think my first clue was the attractive brunette who comes in and out of your apartment. She always has a giddy, love-struck expression on her face every time I see her coming or going from your place.”
Tate shrugged. “It’s not serious.”
Asha gave him an admonishing look. “I think she thinks that it is.”
“Nah…she knows the deal,” he answered, his voice detached. “She doesn’t want anything serious either. She’s recently divorced and is just looking for a casual thing.”
Asha didn’t think so, but it was really none of her business, so she didn’t comment. “I guess I should get back to work.” Tate was her latest client, and she needed to finish the accent wall in his apartment. “You realize you’ll have to repaint over this when you move?”
“Yeah. But it’s worth the effort if I can see your amazing work every day. It already looks incredible. It’s getting late. You can work on it tomorrow. You look tired.”
Asha was tired, and she didn’t have much to do to finish Tate’s project. She was doing a scene with a vintage fire truck on his wall, and it was turning out very well. Tate had given her the photos and she was creating the scene with the aid of the pictures. He had told her that he collected antiques and had a fascination for old fire trucks and fire equipment.
“Okay,” she agreed, draining her coffee cup. “I have something to do in the morning. Can I come over in the afternoon to finish up?” She stood and grabbed her keys from the table.
“Yeah. No problem,” he said agreeably, following her to the door.
“Asha?”
“Yeah?” She turned to look at Tate.
“I’m sorry I bullshitted you. I like you, and I shouldn’t have lied. I feel pretty guilty since you’ve gone out of your way to look after me while I’ve had my cast on.” He moved forward and brushed his lips against her forehead in a gesture of apology.
Tate looked so sincere that Asha smiled. “I don’t do anything I don’t want to do anymore. You shouldn’t have lied, but I understand why you did. I’m not sure I would have befriended you at the time, had you not said you were gay.”
“Bad relationship?” he asked in a concerned voice.
“A few years ago, yes. My trust in men isn’t all that great.”
“Not all men suck,” Tate answered with a grin.
“I know. I’ve met some good ones now,” Asha answered as she opened the door.
“Am I included in that group?” Tate asked hopefully.
“Time will tell,” Asha said nonchalantly. “I guess that depends on whether or not you keep stringing along that nice brunette and break her heart.”
Asha heard an exaggerated groan from Tate as she closed the door and went back to her own apartment with a cheeky smile.
Asha tried to keep her nervousness under control as she pulled her vehicle to the front gate of Maddie’s home, asking the security guard to let Maddie know she was here. She’d wanted to come visit her sister so many times, but she hadn’t been able to bring herself to do it.
Security opened the gate for her, and Maddie met her on the steps of her house. Her older sister didn’t say a word as Asha approached. Maddie simply pulled Asha into her arms and held her tightly, comfortingly. They stayed like that for a while, Asha hugging Maddie back and savoring the comfort of her sibling’s embrace.
Finally, Maddie spoke in a tremulous voice, “I was afraid I wasn’t going to see you again.”
“I’m sorry, Maddie. I should have contacted you. I just…couldn’t.” Listening to her sister’s concerned voice, Asha realized she should have at least called. But she wasn’t used to someone caring about whether or not she was okay.
“Something happened with Kade.” It was a statement from Maddie, not a question.
Asha backed slowly out of Maddie’s arms and let her lead her into the kitchen. “It wasn’t him. It was me. I fell in love with him. So I had to leave.”
Maddie stopped at the coffee pot and poured them both some coffee before turning to Asha and raising a questioning brow. “You had to leave him because you love him?” Nodding to the cups of coffee, she mentioned, “Sorry…it’s decaf. I’m banned fro
m caffeine until the babies come.”
The women sat, each with a mug of coffee in front of them. Asha added cream and sugar to hers. “I drink a lot of herbal chai, so I don’t drink much caffeine either.”
“I was so afraid you weren’t going to contact me. The DNA test came back and was a positive match, just the way I knew it would be. We’re sisters, Asha. Officially,” Maddie said, her voice emotional. Tears started to flow from her eyes as she looked across the table at Asha.
Asha lowered her head. “I know. I think I’ve always known. I was just afraid, Maddie. I’m sorry.” Seeing her sister crying nearly undid her. Maddie was upset. About her. It was more than clear that her older sister cared, and it made Asha’s chest ache with longing. “I needed some time. I’ve never really been on my own, made my own decisions without anyone making them for me. I’m messed up, Maddie. I need to get my head on straight, learn to make my own decisions and be independent. I never meant to hurt you. I’m not used to anyone caring about me.”
Maddie’s face softened. “Oh, Asha. Of course people care. Max and I love you, and you have friends. I think you’re going to have to get used to people caring.” She hesitated before adding, “Kade loves you, too. He’s been torn up since you left. He doesn’t talk about it a lot, but he’s not doing well. He told Max that you didn’t want to be with him.”
“He’s not well? What’s wrong with him?” Asha asked anxiously, worried that something was wrong with Kade. And his assumption that she didn’t want to be with him couldn’t be further from the real truth.
“Max sees him more than I do, but he says Kade is walking around in a daze, like he doesn’t care about anything.”
Asha took a sip of her coffee, her mind racing. “Is he still working with Travis at Harrison every day?”
Maddie nodded. “Yeah. But even Travis is worried about him, and Travis rarely talks about or shows that he’s concerned, even if he is.”