When he appeared through the trees, Regan’s heart gave a leap. Smiling, she threw the jeans at him, happy with the look of surprise in his blue wolf gaze. Yet when he returned, the jeans hung low on his hips, his sculptured chest bare and oh so tempting, her bravado faltered.
What was I thinking?
He smiled softly, settling her nerves a little. “Want to go for a walk?”
She agreed though she asked him to come to her. Crossing over to Dark Shadow somehow made the betrayal she felt toward her sister worse.
You’re just walking, Regan. Stop with the negatives already.
Yet when he jumped the stream, stopping mere inches in front of her and resting his hands on her shoulders, Regan knew they’d be doing much more than walking. Her hands moved to his chest as heat bloomed at her core, the memories from their first night reminding her of all she was missing.
“I should have brought you a T-shirt,” Regan said, her fingers flexing over his bare skin.
Tyler laughed. “Who’d you steal the jeans from?”
Stomach flipping, Regan filled with sadness as she answered, “Cage. I figured you were both similar sizes, and… he won’t be needing them.”
“I’m sorry,” Tyler murmured, cupping her face briefly. “Were the two of you close?”
Her eyes closed briefly, savoring his touch of comfort, soaking in his warmth and concern. “Not really, but he’s pack… you know. Family. We all feel the loss of his absence.”
“He’ll come home.”
Regan broke the contact between them, wanting Tyler’s words to be true but knowing that in reality, Cage wasn’t coming home until he found what he was searching for… until he could sort through the tangled mess of emotions inside of him. She could relate; her mind was like a spider’s web at that moment.
“I hope so,” she replied softly, taking a step back. “Shall we?” She inclined her head.
They walked and talked, and Regan found herself relaxing, that was until he touched on subjects that were far too close to home.
Do you like to please them…?
The way he’d spoken, as if he knew just how much she’d changed to do that. To please her parents. What scared Regan the most, though, was how easy it was to spend time with Tyler. She was purposely keeping walls between them because she knew just how far it would go if she didn’t. Yet that knowledge hadn’t stopped her from coming in human form. From taking the next step in whatever was developing between them.
She was playing with fire, walking a fine line between the past and the present, and when Tyler pulled her to a stop and pressed his lips to hers, Regan gave up erecting walls and smashed them down.
A groan left her throat as she truly gave in to the lusty need humming through her veins. They clawed at each other, their mouths greedy. Regan held on, her body alive for the first time since the night of the party, but as Tyler tumbled her to the floor, she was hit with all she’d been holding back.
Her sister’s face entered her mind and dread replaced the desire she’d once felt.
“What’s wrong?” Tyler whispered as she froze. “Regan, talk to me.”
Tears pooled in her eyes. She wanted to talk, but Regan had no idea how to explain what was going on inside of her. She didn’t understand it herself.
“I can’t. I shouldn’t.” She wiggled, pushing to get free. She needed space, needed to not see the hurt in his eyes.
Tyler sat back, and Regan shot to her feet, backing away. His confused and pained gaze created a war inside herself. The loyalty to her sister fighting against the compulsion to soothe him.
“Regan?”
Shaking her head, Regan saw no other choice but to run. If she stayed any longer, she’d cave and, come morning, be filled with regret, and she never wanted Tyler to be a regret.
“Hey!” he shouted after her. “Regan, wait.”
She didn’t so much as glance back as he gave chase. All her focus was on outrunning him, but in the end, it was a useless effort. He was an enforcer; he’d outrun her every time.
“You can’t just run away from me, Regan,” he snapped.
“Please,” she begged, breathless. “Just leave it.” Desperately building her mental defenses to push him back out.
“Regan? You feel this too, don’t you? Tell me you feel this too?”
The despair in his voice gave her no other choice but to answer with the truth: “Yes, Tyler, I do.”
“Then why?” He shook his head. “Is it Jackson? Because—”
“It’s not Jackson.”
“Then who? Your parents? Surely we—”
“You don’t get it!” Regan said abruptly. All of a sudden, she felt too tight, full of so much emotion she might burst.
Tyler squeezed her hand, smiling encouragingly. “Then help me get it.”
“It’s not Jackson or my parents,” she yelled. “It’s… it’s…” She snatched her hand from his, needing distance. “It’s my sister.”
“Sister? But you don’t have a sister?” He frowned.
Regan’s hands balled into fists, her anger over her death pushing forward. “I don’t, I mean I did. I do…. She’s dead. Killed. Killed by Dark Shadow,” she finished with a whisper, almost relieved to have the truth out in the open.
“Regan, I….”
“Do you see why now? Why it doesn’t matter how much I want you? I shouldn’t want you. The guilt is tearing me up, and even if I could deal with that, my parents would never bless what’s between us. Never. I’m sorry,” Regan whispered, her voice raw, tears rolling down her face. “I’m sorry.”
Tyler stumbled back a step, his face unreadable, and Regan took her chance to escape. He didn’t follow her this time, and she couldn’t help but admit just how much that hurt. How much she’d truly hoped he’d tell her it didn’t matter, that they’d somehow find a way around it.
She raced away, her heart constricting painfully as she refused to look back. Her hope dying as tears spilled from her eyes.
Chapter 5
For weeks they’d been meeting by the stream. Never talking, never crossing the water, but simply running together in wolf form, enjoying each other’s presence. Tyler desperately wanted to cross onto her side. The dominant wolf in him imagined doing so, then chasing her down, and making her face him. Yet the softer human side sensed there was something troubling Regan, some deep hurt she wasn’t ready to confront, and until she was, she wouldn’t come to him. He’d never waited this long for a woman, never been this patient, but with Regan, he really didn’t mind. Not that he’d ever admit it aloud; he had a reputation to uphold. He didn’t want people thinking he was a pushover, who pined after a woman for weeks.
Today, as he padded up to the stream, Regan was already waiting, and she wasn’t in wolf form. She held a pair of jeans in her hands, and when he paused, she smiled, her gaze one of daring, before throwing the jeans across the water at his feet.
He stared at the jeans, his heart beating faster as he picked them up between his wolf teeth, going a short distance away to shift behind the cover of trees. When he reappeared and walked to the stream, his bare feet touching the edge of the water, the bravado in Regan’s eyes faltered.
Smiling warmly, Tyler said, “Hey.”
“Hi,” she replied quietly.
They spoke for a few moments across the river. The whole time Regan seemed as if she wanted to bolt and take back her offer. He didn’t understand the reservation and it frustrated him that she wouldn’t tell him what was truly on her mind. It wasn’t until they were finally walking that their conversation eased, and Regan relaxed a little.
They walked in silence for a few minutes, and even though the stream was no longer between them, Tyler felt no closer to her. He didn’t understand the walls she’d built up around her. He didn’t understand her hesitation when it was clear she wanted him as much as he wanted her.
Unless I imagined our first night?
“Hey, Regan? If you’re worried about what people
will say… there’s no need. I cleared it with Bass.”
“You did what?” she gasped sharply.
“Wow.” Tyler held up his hands. “He’s alpha, Regan. He knows what happened at the party. He caught you sneaking off pack lands the next morning.”
“Gwad,” she groaned, rubbing a hand to her face.
“Anyway, he didn’t specifically say I couldn’t see you again. So, if that’s what’s bothering you, don’t worry—”
“It’s not that.”
“Then what is it?”
She glanced at him. “Can we just enjoy our walk?”
Tyler suppressed a frustrated sigh, forcing a smile on his lips. “Of course.”
They followed the same route they’d ran as wolves, only this time, Tyler was on her side of the stream, and they were traveling a much slower pace. After a while, Regan slipped her hand into his, sending a jolt of electricity up his arm from the connection. He couldn’t take the silence between them. The unasked questions. So he asked less dangerous ones instead.
“Regan, what is it you do?”
“I’m studying accounting and finance, and when I’m not doing that, I work shifts at a café.”
“Do you enjoy it?”
“Studying or work?”
“Both.”
She glanced at him, a small crease between her eyebrows like she’d never actually considered it before.
“I guess I like work. The humans I’ve met there are cool. Jada, who often has the same shifts as I have, has become a good friend. Studying… I’m good at it, but it’s boring if I’m honest.”
“Then why study it?”
“It was safe I guess…. Gives me the opportunity to find work easily nearby. And it pleases my parents.”
The way she said the last sentence had Tyler studying her as he asked his next question, “Do you like to please them?”
She paused, gazing at him with an unreadable expression. “I didn’t always,” she replied after a long pause. “Anyway, enough questioning me. How about you?”
Tyler wanted to press her further, but sensing her shutting down, he chose to let it go and answer her questions.
“Pack work takes up most of my time. I’m in charge of the dominant teens.”
“Tough age.”
“They’re a good group. Drive me crazy half the time, but I like training and guiding them.”
“They’re in good hands.”
“Thanks,” Tyler murmured, bumping his shoulder to hers. “And when I’m not doing that, I’m working with my dad. He owns a tree service company. A few of the pack members work for him. My mom does the office work.”
Pulling Regan to a stop, Tyler took hold of her other hand and looked into her eyes. Her hesitation lasted the barest of seconds before desire flooded her gaze. Breathing her in, Tyler lowered his head and gave into the need he’d had for weeks. Her lips were as soft and delicious as he’d remembered. They opened for him, her grip on his hands tightening as he dipped his tongue inside.
Regan groaned, closing the space between them, their bodies becoming flush against one another. Fire ignited, the air around them charged with unacknowledged desire. The slow, gentle kiss grew intense, their linked hands separating and clawing at flesh. Tyler lost all rational thought, his one and only need being Regan.
His hands roamed her body, finding skin and grazing up her spine. Regan returned the favor, her own hands just as greedy as his, but when they fell to the ground, never breaking the kiss, she froze up.
“What’s wrong?” Tyler whispered, stilling. He studied her, double-checking he’d not imagined the passion between them. “Regan, talk to me.”
Tears pooled in her eyes. “I can’t. I shouldn’t.” She wiggled, pushing for him to get off and his stomach dropped, hurt and confusion churning inside of him.
Tyler sat back, and Regan shot to her feet and backed away.
“Regan?” he whispered, wide-eyed and holding a hand toward her.
She shook her head and began to run.
“Hey!” Tyler jumped to his feet, irritation filling him. He was done with being patient. Tyler wanted answers. Needed answers. She desired him as much as he did her; he could feel it. “Regan, wait.”
She didn’t so much as glance back. He gave chase, surprised at how fast she was, but Regan was no enforcer, and within minutes, he was pulling her to a stop.
“You can’t just run away from me, Regan.”
“Please,” she begged, breathless. “Just leave it.”
“Regan? You feel this too, don’t you? Tell me you feel this too?” he asked desperately, gripping her hand, anxiety growing within him.
She sagged, sadness filling her face. “Yes, Tyler, I do.”
“Then why?” He shook his head, trying to grasp the situation. “Is it Jackson? Because if it is—”
“It’s not Jackson.”
“Then who? Your parents? Surely—”
“You don’t get it!” she said shortly, her face hardening..
Tyler squeezed her hand, smiling encouragingly as he squashed his frustration, for fear she’d close up and leave him more confused. “Then help me get it.”
“It’s not Jackson or my parents,” she shouted. “It’s… it’s…” Regan snatched her hand from his, her eyes hardening. “It’s my sister.”
Shock rolled through him. “Sister? But you don’t have a sister?”
Regan went rigid, the walls she kept around her rising up. “I don’t, I mean I did. I do…. She’s dead. Killed. Killed by Dark Shadow.”
Tyler stumbled back a step, horror coursing through him. Regan’s words echoed in his head. Her pain, her sorrow like daggers to his heart.
“Regan, I…,” he began, but Tyler had no idea what to say.
“Do you see why now? Why it doesn’t matter how much I want you? I shouldn’t want you.” Her shoulders sagged forward, pain filling her features. “The guilt is tearing me up, and even if I could deal with that, my parents would never bless what’s between us. Never.”
Tyler felt like a bucket of ice-cold water had been dumped over his head. There was nothing but a painful ringing in his ears.
“I’m sorry,” Regan whispered, her voice raw, tears rolling down her face. “I’m sorry.”
Tyler wanted to ask why she was sorry. It’s I who should be sorry. I’m Dark Shadow. But as she walked away, he voiced nothing, did nothing. And when she was no longer visible, when her footsteps could no longer be heard, and her scent had been erased from his lungs, Tyler continued to do nothing. Standing in the same spot she’d left him on, his heart slowly cracked.
Chapter 6
Dashing through the trees, the pain she’d been holding took over. Stumbling, Regan wrapped her arms tightly around her middle as if to keep herself together. Her clumsy steps turned frantic, and before long, she was running into the forest, blindly racing through the dark night. Her broken heart beat a relentless drum through her skull, and Tyler’s sorrow-filled expression haunted her every step.
It wasn’t until she fell to her knees that Regan registered where she’d been going. Pressing an unsteady hand on the small headstone, she dropped her head, her tears rolling from her cheeks and onto the earth.
“Hey, sis,” she whispered, sucking in a breath. “God, how I miss you.”
For a few minutes, Regan did nothing but cry; no sentences could form from the jumbled mess inside of her mind. Instead, she allowed everything she couldn’t string into words to be washed away with her tears, her pain, and sorrow and regret, emotions she’d been keeping locked away inside until meeting Tyler had stirred them back to life.
“I’ve made a mess of things, Meg,” Regan said quietly. “I’m so lost, sis. I’m not even sure how I’m supposed to go back…. I guess I can’t. If I could, I’d go back and make sure I never went out that night. Then maybe you’d be here in person listening to me, telling you all about this crazy hot guy I slept with.”
Regan dragged in a few breaths, laughing em
ptily as she traced the carved letters of her sister’s name.
“It’s probably not all that shocking to you hearing I slept with a hot guy, but after you… well, I haven’t exactly been acting like the sister you knew. But the thing is, I actually really like him, enough that I’ve felt a little like me again with him. The thing is, Meg, he’s… he’s not from this pack. He’s Dark Shadow, and I hate myself for falling for a guy who’s from the same pack that took away my sister. It would never work, even without the potential problems with the alliance. Mom and Dad would never forgive me if they knew. I’m so stupid, Megan. What was I even thinking? I wasn’t, that’s what. I wish you were here. I wish I could just speak to you for one minute…. I wish I could just speak to someone. I’m all alone…. I’m—”
Regan’s head whipped around as she braced to spring to her feet, but as the person who’d disturbed her came into view, Regan relaxed just a little.
“Mia, what are you doing here?”
Mia hesitated, her eyes flickering from her face to the gravestone behind her. She lifted the flowers that were in her hand in answer.
Regan swiped at the tears on her cheeks and rose to her feet. “I didn’t know you visited her.”
“I can come back,” Mia murmured, turning away.
Regan thought she should possibly say something, but as she opened her mouth, nothing came out.
Mia paused, then walked a couple of steps before pausing again and turning around. “I didn’t know you’d be here, and I didn’t mean to hear what you were saying, but I did. Some anyway, and I guess I just wanted to say…” She halted, biting her lip in deliberation. “You can talk to me. Well, you used to talk to me, before… well, before everything. Before it all went wrong.”
Regan stared silently.
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