by Laudat, Reon
“I repeat, I did not see your copy of the manuscript.” Dominic fixed his features in what looked like a guileless expression. “At the Maui conference, Corinne’s mother came to my room and gave me a hard copy. I knew you spent time with Corinne, and I thought maybe she’d pitched to you, but I didn’t know for sure, until now. I decided not to ask about it.”
“A maneuver deployed so you could plead ignorance no doubt.”
“As if every-damn-thing I do is on the slick.” Then a muscle in his jaw worked.
“Humph.”
Dominic shook his head. “So what happened between you and Corinne?”
“Besides her mother mucking up things?”
“ ‘Mucking up things.’ Now that’s open to interpretation.”
“Corinne and I clicked. We discussed representation. And Corinne said she was thrilled. Told me how much she liked me. Said she couldn’t imagine working with anyone else.”
“So you gave her an agency retainer. Did she sign it?”
Kendra averted her gaze. “Well, um, not exactly.”
“Either she signed it or she didn’t.”
“I didn’t give her one. I gave her a revision letter.”
Dominic blinked. “Say what?”
“I gave her a revision letter.” Kendra’s fingers tightened around the bowl of her glass as she guzzled some more. “It was about cutting some, uh, grace notes.”
“Grace notes. How long was this letter? A page or two?”
“Thirty-five pages. Thirty-five single spaced for our first pass together.”
“So, let me get this straight.” Dominic stood wide-legged, one arm wrapped at his waist, and the elbow of the other propped on it so he could stroke his bristly chin, his stance when he was about to clown a person for doing something idiotic. “You read the manuscript. Loved the manuscript. I know it’s one of the best I’ve read in a long while. Why the hell didn’t you lock it down when you had a chance?”
Kendra burped. “Um, well—”
“Instead, you ask for extensive revisions before committing your services? Grace notes, my ass.” Dominic looked skyward. “Unbelievable.”
“The manuscript was…” Kendra knew he was absolutely right. This was a crisis of her own making. Only a dim bulb would fail to lock down such a book at the first opportunity. She’d been lulled into a false sense of security after her long friendly hike with Corinne, complete with phone selfies together, and their leisurely lunch during which they’d split scrumptious tiramisu. And the realization was too much to bear. “It’s a wonderful book, but it needs work. Okay, so it actually needs a lot of shaping, not just fine-tuning.” She gulped more beer.
“In your expert opinion.”
“And what’s that supposed to mean?”
“That it’s all subjective, babe. So you believed the manuscript needed extensive work, but how can you expect her to tear the damn thing apart on just a ‘well, maybe’ from you?”
“I’ve done it before, and it worked out fine. I needed to see if she could handle it, the revisions. She seemed fragile when we discussed killing her darlings. And I needed to see if she could rein in her meddling mother. If our arrangement was going to have a chance of succeeding and being mutually advantageous, I had to proceed with caution. That’s smart business.”
“Smart business your way.”
“Not the best way?” Kendra rushed to him and tipped her head up to get in his face. “Why don’t you come out and say it? Poke out your tongue, why doncha? You snooze, you lose.” She couldn’t swallow and get the words out quickly enough.
Dominic made quite the show of wiping away the spittle that flew out of her mouth and landed near his chin, right eye, and cheek. “Say it, don’t spray it,” he mocked her.
“Ha. Ha. You’re so funny,” she bleated, moving away from him. “Go on, admit it. When pitted against you, I’m punching above my weight.”
Dominic raised his hands. “Your words, not mine, Ms. Porter. But hey, now you have Brody Goodwin. Good luck getting that last manuscript in his current contract out of him. The guy has lost the fire in the belly if you ask me.”
Kendra had finished her second beer so she went for a third. “Some writers go through a period of burnout, especially if they can’t maintain the crank-’em-out schedule so popular these days. He told me he was absolutely thrilled to have a new start with a new partner, someone who has a fresh perspective on his career. Someone not managing his career on auto-pilot or letting him rest on his laurels. Someone who has no problem letting him take the time necessary to hone his craft, take his writing to the next level. Every manuscript presents a different challenge. Some are like a fine wine that takes time. You should know that. You’re supposed to be a writer.”
“Supposed to be?” When Dominic braced his arms against the butcher block island, his well-honed triceps flexed, looking like horseshoes pressing through the Henley.
Kendra promptly regretted the cheap shot. “I take that back. You are a writer, and you’re a good one. But Brody’s enthusiasm about our partnership was heartening.”
“He’s high maintenance,” Dominic said. “There will be months when you’ll hear from him every day. He doesn’t live far away. He likes to pop up when you least expect it.”
“Anything you can handle, I can handle,” she said, thinking Brody had already exhibited his “code red clinger” tendencies when he made that late-night visit to her hotel room in Maui.
“Well, good for you,” he sniped. “I hope you two will be very happy together while he wastes weeks removing, replacing, removing, and then replacing the same freakin’ semicolon. You won’t make any money until he’s fulfilled his present contract.”
“I know how it works. I’m not an imbecile!”
Dominic gave Kendra a look she took to mean that was open to interpretation, too.
“I’m sure we will be happy. And I hope you enjoy your ménage à trois with the Ostertags.”
“Hey, I don’t bed clients.”
“No? What about Raven Raw? The Guitar? Oh, wait. Isn’t her biggest Billboard hit titled ‘I Like to Please on My Knees?’ So technically you don’t need a bed for her specialty.” Kendra’s head felt like a boulder, heavy and impenetrable to all reason.
“You’re going there?” Dominic said with an astonished look. “You’re actually going there.”
“And then there’s the good old-fashioned figurative screw. Selena told me you played her. Or is that also ‘open to interpretation’? Your cop-out response when refusing to take responsibility for your shadiness?”
“But I always manage to get the job done, don’t I? Unlike some people. Don’t hate the player, borrow his playbook.”
“Nice third-grade reply and from a wordsmith no less.”
“Said the second-grader in the midst of a monkey meltdown. Go ahead. Proceed to collapse on the floor, kick and scream because you didn’t get what you wanted.”
“Do you always have to have the last word?”
“You do realize that question is a setup, right?”
Kendra clucked her tongue.
“You lost Corinne,” he said. “Deal with it.”
“And you lost Brody.”
“Yeah, but I’m not going ripshit over it. Bottom line, you are his second choice and that’s a fact. Don’t forget it.”
“You’re insufferable! How I could’ve ever thought—” She hopped off her stool and brushed by him to head to the closet for her coat. “I think I’d better go home for the night. This is getting us nowhere.”
“Wait, okay?” Dominic went after her, seizing her by the arm. “Don’t leave.”
Kendra stopped, but could not look at him.
“Please.”
Kendra stopped, but wasn’t absolutely sure because the room was spinning.
“We’re both behaving childishly,” he said. “Let’s take a minute here. Breathe and calm down.”
“I don’t think—”
“Let’s sit.
” Dominic led her back to the kitchen with his arm around her shoulder. “Why don’t we put this discussion on ice and enjoy our dinner, okay? We obviously don’t think clearly when monster egos clash,” he said with a humorless chuckle as they sat on the stools at the island.
Kendra’s ears still burned with resentment, but she wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of playing the bigger person.
“Okay,” she said with dawning awareness. This argument reminded her of those she’d had with the exes. Similar quarrels had always signaled the beginning of the end. This time, however, she had displayed more restraint and applied some anger management techniques. She had yet to unleash her special brand of uncut crazy (a.k.a CUH-ray-ZEE) on him, which at various points in her dating past had involved breaking plates, hurling profanities, and scaling the fire escape at a guy’s off-campus apartment with the intent to storm his closet. That breaking and entering incident, one and done. Thank goodness she had not regressed to such nutty antics since sophomore year of college.
It had been inspired by a Brady Bunch rerun after her first real boyfriend, a second-year grad student, had cheated on her soon after Kendra had lost her virginity with him. So she wouldn’t get “too clingy,” he’d said by way of lame explanation. As if he were actually doing Kendra a favor by doing her roommate. Mission accomplished: Kendra did not cling, but that itching powder she’d sprinkled in his pants sure did.
“Brody is your client now,” he said. “Corinne is mine. We both win. Truce?”
Kendra remained silent.
“C’mon, baby. I don’t want business to come between us. You mean too much to me. We can always work out the details. Hash out what’s discussed and what’s not discussed regarding our agencies and clients. And I promise I will keep the hubris and collar popping in check from now on. I was wrong for that. But for now, I’m starving. I say we eat ourselves into a carb-induced coma with our Franken-pasta.”
“Okay,” she mumbled.
Dominic ate his food while Kendra rotated her plate, said grace, and moved forkfuls of food around. The forced chitchat, over imbibing, and her lack of appetite signaled something had most definitely changed between them.
While she spent the rest of the evening cuddling with Dominic in his bed, she rebuffed additional sexual advances. The headache excuse was easier than the truth: Anger over the loss of Four Simple Wishes lingered. As hard as she tried she couldn’t dial back the passive-aggressive behavior. And to think she’d been so judgmental and preachy with Selena about Desperate Passages. What a hypocrite Kendra was! This only made her feel worse.
The next morning she declined staying for breakfast of the hot coffee and bagels Dominic had dashed to a nearby deli to buy while she slept. She cited a hangover and an early morning meeting with a sub-rights agent. He didn’t make an issue of her obvious fibs. Neither initiated plans for another date. They needed space from each other so they only exchanged perfunctory good-bye kisses at his front door.
***
After Kendra left, Dominic went for a run to clear his head. Before heading back to his place, he’d logged about five miles, breaking his personal best time, as if putting physical distance between himself and the scene of a crime. He still could not believe he’d let his ego and didactic bent get the better of him. Again. What was wrong with him?
He removed his sweaty running clothes and stepped in the shower. The rush of warm water felt good. He regrouped. Okay, so they’d had a fight. Couples fought sometimes. Though he’d tried to diffuse the situation, he sensed a troubling change in Kendra. She’d smiled at him and even let him hold her in bed, but she’d been somewhat distant from the moment she stepped inside his place. He thought it best to give her a little space. Though he wanted to ask her to join him at the upcoming dinner party his mom was planning to celebrate his fortieth birthday, the timing wasn’t right. After she had a little more time to mourn the loss of Four Simple Wishes, everything would go back to normal between them. She was falling for him as hard as he was falling for her. No way would she let agency business come between them. Even as he tried to affirm the positives, his panic escalated. Was he losing her?
Chapter 34
Dominic sent more gifts to Kendra’s agency, starting with a gag book, 99 Ways to Open a Beer Bottle without a Bottle Opener. A courier delivered more premium yarn, in various shades of brown, arranged to resemble a heart-shaped box of chocolates. The note from Dominic included a jokey reference to Kendra’s habit of using food to describe colors.
It had been a week since that pivotal night at his place. Neither of them had picked up the phone to call the other. Now that Brittany had left the office for the day, Kendra tapped in his number to thank him for the gifts and do what she’d been dreading for the last few days.
“Kendra!” Dominic said, voice springy with surprise. “I’ve missed you. How are you?”
“I’m good,” she lied, as her palms perspired. “Thank you for the gifts, but—”
“I know it’s early. Christmas is still weeks away. I’m in need of another slouch beanie, but no pressure.”
“I’m not sure I can keep them.”
“Do what you want with them. I’m teasing about the beanie. That book will make you the MacGyver of brewski.”
“It’s cute. Thank you. But, well, it’s just that—”
“About what happened at my place—”
“Yes, we need to talk about that. I’ve had some time to think and—”
“Sorry for coming off like an ass.”
“And I was pretty obnoxious and tipsy, too.” The phone felt slippery in Kendra’s hands. “But I think what happened is an example of why our personal relationship would never work for the long haul.”
“I think you’re overreacting. So we had our first fight.”
“But this isn’t our first. Remember that first lunch?”
“You exaggerate. That wasn’t a fight, far from it.”
“In my mind it was. You have no idea how much you pissed me off when we talked agency business.”
“Okay. So we had some, um, disquieting moments, with some posturing and one-upping. Big deal.”
“With more ‘disquieting moments’ and more ‘posturing’ and more ‘one-upping’ to come. No thank you. It won’t work. We’re way too competitive with each other. Everything’s a darn contest!”
“Not true.”
“It is true, and you know it. It’s exhausting, Dominic.”
“So you’re breaking things off?” he asked incredulously.
“I see where this is headed.” In an effort to maintain her resolve, she held her cell phone tighter. “It won’t work.”
“This isn’t just about the spat or our dueling egos, these authors, or their manuscripts. When you get through throwing it all against the wall, the only thing that sticks is your fear. That’s what it all comes down to. And you’re doing this over the phone because you know this is bullshit, and you can’t look me in the eye. When things start feeling too good, too right to you, you find a reason, any nitpick, to bolt. C’mon, three fiancés? This is your thing. This is what you do. Well, I’m not letting you run off easily. I’m not going anywhere.”
“So, Alpha Man is now Head-Shrink Answer Man.”
“I’m going to ignore that,” he said. “Look, it doesn’t have to be this way. All relationships require work.”
“A relationship does require work, but you have to want it to work. It’s a choice. Maybe it’s as simple as I just don’t want it badly enough. Ever thought of that?” Kendra knew her words were like darts to his heart. A knot swelled in her throat and her stomach roiled, but she couldn’t help herself.
“But this is insane. I’ve fallen in love with you.”
“In love? You mean in heat.”
“Damn it, Kendra!”
“C’mon, Dominic, how long have we known each other? Like ten minutes? This isn’t some reality dating show. No way should either one of us toss around that word. Or think it’s a-
ok to slip up and make fat babies together.”
“I love you,” he insisted. “I…I want you to be my wife.”
“Please don’t—”
“I do. You know I do.”
“I’m sorry. I thought the phone would make this easier. I know I’m doing the right thing for both of us.”
“But—”
“I have to go now.”
“Wait. Don’t hang up.”
“Let’s not drag this out,” she pleaded. “It will only make it that much harder, and uglier. I don’t want to get in too deep—”
“But I’m already in deep. I told you I love you. I want us to have a lifetime together. That means nothing to you?”
“It does, but I know it’s not going to work.” Kendra had to find the strength to close because it was for the best. “And I’m so sorry if I led you on. I tried to explain where I was coming from. I tried to keep things light, casual so this wouldn’t happen. This is too intense. I’m not ready. It’s too much, way too much.”
“Give it some time. We can pull back and take things slowly.”
“No, it’s too late. Not after some of the things you’ve revealed about what you want. I can’t make any promises. We’re not in the same place. And we need a clean break.”
“Clean break?”
“Yes.”
“But—”
“Bye, Dominic,” Kendra said between swallowing her sobs. This was even more difficult than she’d assumed it would be. “Please let this go. Let me go.”
“You’re doing this? You’re actually going to do this?”
The question was met with silence.
“So this is what you really want?” he asked. “A clean break?”
“Yes.” Kendra’s throat burned from the effort of keeping her voice and breath steady as her tears fell. “Don’t you see? It won’t work with me.”
“As a matter of course. Well, all right, then. I won’t bother you anymore.”
Dominic’s swift, icy concession took her aback. She’d wanted to end this without a lot of nasty drama, but a part of her had expected him to fight harder the way the others had done.