“I had no idea she was seeing Brigger Seers, and now they tell me she had an affair with him and she’s left to think about what she wants and how to raise an illegitimate young,” he says, his whole body deflating when he leans back.
“Kendall I’m sure—”
“She should have told us. I know Barbie hates disappointing us, and she would know I don’t like the Seers boy, but I would have accepted her seeing him! Especially if she told us she was pregnant,” he says tiredly, his blue eyes bloodshot, as if he’s holding back tears.
I’m lost, my mind hitting a blank as I share a look with both Nick and Bear, who looks as lost as I do. Barbie pregnant? That isn’t at all—I grin, biting my lip to stop myself from laughing.
I smell Hannah all over this shit fest, and what’s worse, Brigger Seers’s name popping up is just something the little wolf would do to get back at him.
“Ahem, well Kendall, I don’t know what to tell—except that I’m sure Barbie will come back soon, and when she does, I guess it’s up to her to explain what’s happened,” Nick says tactfully, giving me a helpless look that makes me want to laugh.
“If she comes back! She called her mother last week and told her she needs time away. Can you believe she didn’t say a word about any of this?” he mutters, swiping at his eyes.
“Er no,” Nick mumbles, his discomfort clear.
“I’m sorry I barged in here yelling. I guess, I don’t have anyone to take this to since the Seers boy is nowhere to be found and that useless father of his makes me want to kill something every time I see him. Can you believe he refuses to believe his precious son would touch my baby? As if he even deserves the time of day from her!” he snarls.
My lips twitch, and I wait while Nick commiserates and walks the male out before I start chuckling and shake my head.
“God, I forgot how inventive she can be with the truth. I almost miss it,” Bear sighs, laughing when I growl. “Whoa! I don’t mean it like that! Just that Meek may have decided to be best buds with her, but she’s not exactly on board with me spending time with Hannah.”
“Me either, fucker. You stay away from my mate and your own will still have your balls to play with,” I warn, making him laugh harder.
“She just saved our collective asses and removed a problem I’ve been worrying about since this happened. Now what?”
“No clue, man, no fucking clue. All I know is that this gives me more time to figure this out and find Barbie. When I do that, I will personally wring her neck for pulling this shit. You’d think she’d call one of us to warn us. I still can’t decide what she’s about, but at least this doesn’t blow back on us in the meantime.”
“Yeah,” he mutters, shaking his head when I stand to get a beer and offer him one.
“What are we going to do about this resistance speak? I thought that was more myth or maybe some small mate rescue operation the packs have going to thwart the elite,” I admit, bothered by the thought of some secret underground movement sneaking around unpoliced by the Alphas.
This could cause major problems for us and all other packs in the long run. Not that I don’t appreciate an organization stealing and saving females from forced mating’s because I am so down with that. It’s just that the laws are so different from pack to pack. I don’t see what could be happening or how they can move people around.
I promise to solve this and maybe find something on them, needing answers.
“I think that’s Nick’s problem, seeing as he’s Alpha, and thank fuck for that because I don’t need the headache. Mika woke up with her belly looking like she ate a watermelon, and I suffered for that.”
“Did you explain to her that pregnancy is much faster for us?” I ask, laughing when he grimaces and steals my beer, downing it in one gulp before grabbing us both one.
“Many, many times. She just refused to believe it until it happened. Started yelling about stretch marks and all forms of nonsense while I promised her the healing would take care of it as soon as she gives birth. You’d have thought I was speaking demonish the way she exploded. Fucking hormones.”
“Give her a break, man. I hear her mom’s declining rapidly. Is it that bad?” I ask, feeling for Mika because the female obviously loves her nut job mother no matter the fact she almost shot Meek.
That story still gets to me. I understand a female loving her husband so much she’d go crazy when she lost him. I mean, I’d wolf out and be chewing at cell bars if Hannah died. Trust me, I’ve felt that plenty already.
What I don’t get is how she could pull a gun on her own daughter and try to shoot Mika for selling the house they couldn’t afford to live in, just because it was where her husband saw her last.
“It sucks. She just lies in that bed and stares at nothing. She didn’t even bat an eyelash when Meek went to tell her she’s going to be a grandma. Part of me feels awful, but the other part thinks she should just go already so Meek can get over it and stop hoping. It’s the hope that kills her,” he says angrily, getting my nod of agreement.
“Prissy says Meek was hoping it would get her to want to live, but I didn’t agree. I think some people are just too selfish to care about anyone else but themselves and see what’s right in front of them.”
Like me, I think. I was so blinded by what I thought I knew of Hannah that I keep messing up. Then I’m loving, and then I don’t trust her. Hell, no wonder she left with Banner this morning instead of me. She must be heartily sick of my seesawing emotions.
“What about you and Han? Things going okay?” Bear asks, making me grimace.
“She told me her brother called her, asking for information, and I treated her like public enemy number one. She’s currently with Banner and giving me the cold-shoulder,” I admit, hearing him growl his disapproval.
“You’re an ass. That female would chew off a limb before she does anything to hurt the pack. She’s hard to get along with, but she’s loyal. Never doubt that.”
“I guess I’m going to have to give her a reason to be loyal,” I smirk, making him laugh.
“Humble as always.”
“Screw that. I need all the confidence I can get after the shit I pulled last night. Trust me, I’m afraid to go home in case she shoots me just to entertain herself.”
Bear’s bark of laughter sets off my own, and I spend the next hour drinking with him before I call it a day and decide to brave the wrath of the female scorned.
# # # #
Hannah
I giggle when I hear Logan coming up the porch, my arm steady and pulled back as I wait for him to fit the key into the lock and open the door.
If I time this right, I will have the upper hand, so I wait, wait, watching the door and then let loose, hurling the cast iron skillet with as much force as I can muster, enjoying the loud thunk and surprised yell he lets off when it hits him in the head.
“Dammit! That hurt!” he yells, barking a curse when I smile and take in the lump forming on his temple, the skin turning a satisfying reddish purple in seconds. “Hannah!”
“Well, you deserve it,” I say with a snarl, stomping back to the kitchen where I have simple stew simmering on the stove thanks to Banner and his help.
I mean, not that I couldn’t have done it. I am awesome, and the baking doesn’t count, it’s just not natural. But Banner chopped everything, and I was so not ready to use a knife yet.
Plus, well, there was a lot involved that I promise myself I will learn. One day. Or I could hire a cook. And a housekeeper. Hell, I just don’t think I’m cut out to be a domestic Goddess.
By choice!
I could do it. If I wanted to. I just don’t.
“You threw a skillet at my head.” Logan growls when he stalks in and slams said weapon onto the center island.
“Yeah I know. I was there.”
“You threw a skillet at my head,” he repeats as if he can’t believe it.
“You deserved it for being a dick and hurting me!” I scream, eyeing the skil
let again.
Banner was wrong, I don’t feel better. I feel angrier.
Logan’s expression goes soft, and he stalks my way, looking so guilty I almost cave and ask to see his head. I don’t like hurting others, I told you that. Not even this big dickhead.
“I was rough last night, baby, I know—”
“Oh, shut up. I wasn’t talking about the sex, you fool. That was amazing.” I huff, going all tingly and soft in the vagina just recalling all that dominant male and overpowering sexual tension.
Then I scowl because I just admitted I care enough to be hurt by him, and I don’t like it at all.
“Han,” he mumbles, coming close to take me in his arms and hold me close, his green eyes so tender I want to slap him and kiss him all at once. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, okay.”
“You didn’t.”
“Yeah, I did. I promised to be your mate, and I messed that up by being the enforcer with trust issues. I shouldn’t have done it, and what’s more, I should have just asked you what was bothering you instead of jumping you and using it as an excuse to make love to you the way I wanted to.”
I shiver, going soft against him because I loved it. It was raw and so intense, and I still felt him throughout the day, the tiny shivers of arousal following me though every memory I relived.
It got so bad Banner almost left until I admitted I was scared to be alone, just in case I hear something again.
“Why? I mean, why did you lose your temper if you didn’t know what I was thinking?” I ask, pulling away to shut off the stove before the food turns to charcoal.
And to avoid showing him that I feel vulnerable right now.
“I…shit…I don’t know. I guess I found you here, pensive and closed off, and it scared me. I left you here sated and soft and came home with some sort of hope you’d finally…want more. I want a bond, Hannah, something to show me that we can be happy together. I can’t do this without you, and yet I have to keep reminding myself that I shouldn’t expect anything after the way I’ve treated you,” he admits, spreading his hands helplessly.
“I—”
“The year I turned seventeen and I saw you at the store, I was bowled over. It was a shock to get hard for you, someone I swore I could never want. It got worse the more the years passed, almost intolerable after I transitioned for the last time and the Fating kicked in. It felt like a mule kicked me it hit so hard. And yet I couldn’t have you. You were with Bear. You loved Bear, and I hated you for it,” he says, looking away when my eyes go soft.
“I do love Bear—”
“I get it. He never abandoned you, even when everyone else did, Hannah. It hit me hard that he deserved your love when inside I was raging that I couldn’t have you. I finally just gave in and went for it though because I knew you’d reject me, and then I could move on.”
That hurts me, more than anyone will ever grasp because I know. I always knew. I don’t say anything, my chest too tight to form a response, and I watch as Logan runs a hand through his hair and swallows.
“That’s in the past. It’s all in the past though, and I should leave it there. I want to, Hannah. I want to start over and say, ‘Hi, I’m Logan and I want you as my mate. Not just because we’re Fated, but because I think I want to know the real female and have a relationship that makes us friends. I want to fuck you for all my long life because no one, no female, has ever turned me on the way you do.’” When he finishes, I can’t help but smile.
“Yeah?” I whisper, biting my lips when he smiles softly and comes closer, caging me in against the counter.
“Yes, mella,” he purrs, making me groan when he pushes into me and lets me feel his steely erection. “You’re perfect for me. You get so wet you truly embody the term mella. I used to dream of meeting a female who’d get wet enough for me that she’d soak me. I used to think about someone who would take me without fear and give as good as she got. With you I don’t have to fear I’ll hurt you because you’re so passionate most days I can’t function for the need I always feel.”
“I need you too,” I whisper, licking my lips when he lowers his head slowly and stops just before he kisses me.
“I’m glad to hear that, baby, because you’re mine now and I won’t let you go.”
His words crack something inside me, that place where I put all the other crap I don’t want to deal with or feel, and I shudder, pushing closer, wanting his mouth on mine so that I can feel again what this male can give to me.
Only me.
Moaning, I kiss him, pressing my mouth to his in a promise, a vow to him and myself that I won’t be afraid of this anymore and I’ll give it my all. When he groans, tightening his arms around me and kisses me deeper, taking over as usual, I let him, reveling in his mastery even as I allow the soft side of me to seep through my need.
I want to make love to him, not fuck or have sex or anything that meaningless but make love, join, let the things I feel flow free and make us form the bond he wants.
It’s there, just a tiny seed that I’ve suppressed for so long it will take time to form.
“God, I love the way you taste, mella. You’re so soft and perfect in my arms.” Logan sighs when he pulls away, his eyes tender when he looks down at me.
“I feel it too,” I whisper, kissing him heatedly while he swings me up and carries me to bed, the food forgotten.
When we get there, he lays me down gently, coming over me to push my clothes off and open me, his wolf snarling its pleasure when he finds me wet and ready for him.
One swipe through my sex to test me, his mouth suckling at my breasts, and then he’s sliding into me and driving me crazy in a way that is more than just sex and the promise of more.
I gasp, giving myself up to the pleasure, the orgasm, feeling him thrust into me forever until he stiffens and comes inside me, shouting my name.
This, right here…is hope.
Chapter Twenty
Hannah
I wake with a gasp, sitting upright in bed as pictures bombard me, slamming into my brain so hard and fast I stop breathing only to gasp again, my chest screaming with the burn.
We can’t move yet. We need to make sure everything is in place.
No. I can’t stick around forever! My pack isn’t doing well, I have my parents to think of. This wasn’t the deal.
Screw the deal. Screw what we talked about, all of it. You wanted a chance to find out what motivates the attacks on your pack and now you have it. Follow it to the end.
The end? And what if that is me dying?
Then make sure you change the ending.
I hear the voices, one male’s gruff growl of command and the other an angry female, whom I know can’t be anyone but Barbie. The words, so jumbled and yet not. Well…I feel jumbled, and they sound strange, but when they reach my brain, it’s deciphered and so clear I can’t mistake the meaning.
And it’s not voices, I realize, blinking as I fight to keep the connection. It’s as if I hear them, their inner voices before they say it out loud.
“Hannah? Baby, you okay?”
I flinch when I hear Logan and feel his hand touch my back, the concern in his voice making me blink back tears as I shiver and try to collect myself.
Sighing, I swallow the fear that is now blooming in my chest and try to pretend that I didn’t just hear what I did. Barbie Kendall—Jesus that name is ridiculous—arguing with a man who obviously doesn’t give a shit about her life.
I don’t know what to do, what to say, God what should I do? What if I keep it quiet and something happens to her, but really what would I do if Logan goes out there to find her because of me and those shifters hurt him?
What about the resistance!
I can’t trust anyone, not with the life of the male I love. Not with the life that I want but will never have if something happens to him.
We’re a strong people, hardy, dangerous in our own rights, but we’re not indestructible, and fuck it, I don’t want to even test how lethal L
ogan can be.
Shit happens all the time, to me, and I don’t know that I can speak to him and put him on this track again only to watch him walk away and never come back to me.
But I can’t lie to him. Dammit! I can’t sit here and keep something from him that I know he needs to know. This is his job, his life, his friend, and to withhold this information would be tantamount to betraying his trust.
I know this, resent even letting myself consider it, and yet I have to because I promised to try and darn it, I won’t break that promise.
“Han—”
“Barbie. I heard her talking to a male. She wants to come home Logan…but… but I don’t think they’ll let her. She sounded so angry and then scared,” I whisper, shuddering when he takes me in his arms and whispers through my fears.
I shouldn’t cry or fear, but as the words leave my mouth I have a fear inside me that almost chokes me.
“Shh, baby. It’s okay. Could you tell where she is? Who she was talking to? Did you see anything?” he asks, stroking my back when I shiver against my emotions.
“No, just darkness and voices. Logan, why do I even care? It’s not like I like that female! She’s stupid and reckless and freaking selfish—okay, the selfish part I respect—but she’s an idiot! Who willingly goes with maniacs? Who in their right mind would do this and just think they can walk away? We should leave her! This was her decision!” I snarl, my throat clogging with panic because I know it’s not an option.
Logan will look, he’ll find her, no matter how long it takes, and nothing I say will change that. He’s honorable and loyal, and he won’t consider himself because it’s in his DNA to be the hero.
I hate it. I love it. More than that, I feel so proud of that part of him that it sickens me.
“Baby, you know I can’t do that. I have to find Barbie no matter what happens. She’s not just pack, she’s my friend, and I can’t leave her hanging if she needs me.” He sighs, pulling me down onto his chest when he lowers to the bed.
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