It’s been a simmering plan thus far, just a loose intention really to get close to the town and make sure there is someone there to arrest her. I know it’s sneaky, and I get her anger, but goddammit, I do not want her going all the way in this thing.
It’s too risky, too dangerous, to take her anywhere near the network. They’d be on her fast, and there won’t be a thing I can do to help her unless I want to join her and share her punishment.
No, I can do this much easier and with a higher success rate if Bee is out of the way. Why can’t she see that?
“They’ll scent you—”
She smiles, closes her eyes and then opens them to look at me, grinning when my mouth pops open. I can hardly smell her now, the strong scent she usually carries dulled and just barely lying in the air.
“What the hell?”
“It’s just a little something I can do from time to time. Close off my scent glands for a bit, at least until I’m in the clear. All cougars have the ability, though it doesn’t last long so chill out,” she informs me, smiling when I blink.
“That’s how you got away.”
“Yep. I mean the snow wasn’t helping since it left an obvious trail, but it took them a while to find my scent so I had a head start, without it I’d have died a lot faster.”
“You can…do you think this is what they used to make the pathogen?”
Beebee shrugs, her face twitching when I start pacing, my mind working frantically.
“Who knows? I only saw a few notes on the formula before I handed it off to Brie.”
“How did you hand it off to her?” I ask, narrowing my eyes.
Beebee grins, twisting her mouth into a smirk and starts walking, her feet picking up the pace until she’s jogging.
“She ‘arrested’ me. I called her when I realized I wasn’t going to make it out, and she came to take me in. I managed to hand her the formula when she slapped the cuffs on me.”
I snort, shaking my head, because cuffs in our world consist of titanium shackles lined with taser darts. It’s an almost unbeatable combination because by the time we manage to snap them we’re usually flat ass on the floor convulsing with pain.
“That was a huge risk.”
“Yeah, well, it was all I had, and before you even ask, yes, I trust Brie. She hates her mate for what he’s become, and she’d never betray her pack. All she wants is a cure so that they can go back to living and brokering peace with the Hollows.”
I consider that, nod, and start running beside her, measuring my pace to keep abreast of her.
“Do you think Nick will pardon you?”
It’s driving me crazy not knowing how he’ll react. One part of me is assured that Nick is a reasonable, benevolent Alpha—while the other keeps reminding me that he’s not exactly in a position to pardon Beebee outright if the council refuses him.
“I hope so, but if not, well, I won’t die in prison.”
But you would, I think, imagining what it would be like to shift and not have room to run. I have often wondered over the years if it wasn’t that very thing that kept Lync feral.
“You shouldn’t joke, Beebee. It’s not funny.”
“No, but it sure isn’t a death sentence either, and as Hannah tells me, that is the worst.”
“You could come to Alaska with me,” I find myself saying, cringing when she shakes her head and a bolt of relief hits me.
I really am a bastard, I think, hating myself for the relief I can’t deny. I don’t want…
I don’t know what I want, but right now, it obviously does not include taking Barbie Kendall to the wilds with me forever. Not when she could beat this and have a full life.
“Don’t take this the wrong way, Brig, but fuck you, okay? I don’t need you making me feel like some hanger-on you can’t shake because you feel guilty. I’ll stay here just fine, and you can run off to Alaska and grow a beard and bad body odor,” she quips, picking up her pace so that now I am forced to keep up with her.
We don’t say anything more for a long time, only stopping when we reach the outskirts of Whitefish where I forced us to turn because I am not overtaxing Beebee—even if she is pissed and doesn’t want to stop where we’ll be forced to talk.
Sighing, I lead her to a point near the lake where I know a holiday cabin sits empty. Breaking in isn’t hard, nor is getting past the alarm system, and by the time we’re in and ready to eat and settle in, I feel better.
We’re on track, back to being…something, and I don’t have to think about what comes after. Just the way I want it.
“So I’m going upstairs to shower and see if I can’t find some real clothes,” Beebee says, rising with her plate, now empty of scrambled eggs.
I nod, not knowing what else to say and so damn annoyed that just when I feel settled she injects awkwardness into the situation.
“Should I wash your back?” I ask, testing the waters a little, wanting to know outright if this is it for us, if I should back off and accept that were done.
Beebee pauses halfway out the kitchen door before turning to me with a smile that I guess she wants to show a flippant side but only emphasizes her own discomfort.
“Just my back?”
I’ll fucking take it. I’ll take anything I can get, so I rise with a smile of my own and follow her, watching the sway of her ass in the sweats while hoping to hell I can do this without feeling guilty.
I don’t say a word when we walk into the bedroom, the small room’s muted light letting me stand back and swallow down my own case of nervous tension.
I probably shouldn’t be here, doing this because the truth is—
I can’t let myself think about the truth, or I may forget whom I’m supposed to be in this scenario. But the other truth is that I really don’t want to hurt Beebee.
I want her to be okay, especially with me and—
“You coming?” she asks, stopping in the bathroom doorway and looking back at me seductively.
I smile, doing what I always do and forget who I am and who I have to be and just enjoy the moment for what it is—one moment. Smiling broader, putting a seduction in my eyes that I don’t feel, I follow her into the bathroom and walk to the shower, leaning in to turn on the taps.
Once the water is at the optimum temperature, I turn and whip my shirt off over my head, watching her watch me as I get undressed. Beebee doesn’t move. She just stands silently and watches me, her lower lip caught between her teeth as I drop my jeans and hook my fingers into my boxers.
The fabric is stretched over my cock, the tight scrape making me groan when I lift the fabric away and push them down, revealing how much I want her.
She gasps, brings her eyes up to mine and starts undressing slowly, never taking her eyes from me. I like it. I like seeing her eyes go lazy and heavy lidded while she watches me, I like knowing that the sight of my body is pleasing to her.
When she’s naked, her breasts bobbing with every slow breath she takes, I reach out a hand and wait for her to take it, pulling her into the shower stall and under the warm spray.
I don’t speak. What we’ve said and done thus far is enough between us. Right now, I want sex, wordless communication and passion to say what I can’t.
Beebee groans when the warm spray hits her, leaning back when I come up behind her where I press myself to her back. Her ass cradles me, making my shaft swell and strain to get at the heat I already know will be waiting for me.
Always ready, I think, feeling my eyes flash as my animal presses closer, wanting her as much as I do. I don’t let him out any more than that because this is about me and her, just two people who want each other.
Leaning down, I look over her shoulder as I cup her breasts, my fingers closing over her nipples to pinch, wrenching a moan form her. I should wash her, care for her, but I find myself unwilling to do anything but watch as I touch her slowly, wanting to imprint this moment into my brain for the time when I know she’ll hate me.
“Oh, Brig.�
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Ignoring her sighs, I skate my hands down and spread her legs, one hand holding her open while the other moves over her, slipping through her wetness to the entrance of her.
She’s already so primed for me that it’s a struggle not to bend her over, pin her to the wall, and take what my boy wants. Her hands go to my arms, keeping her pinned to my chest, her nails digging in when I slip my finger inside her and pleasure only her core.
She wants me to touch her elsewhere, on that little button that brings her pleasure, but I don’t. I want to bring her off this way first before I touch her any other way.
“Yeeees. Oh, yes. Faster, Brig,” she moans, as I start thrusting my hand, the palm drenched with her pleasure and getting wetter as I take her higher. I keep going like that until my wrist hurts and I feel her tighten before reaching up to flick her clit once, twice. She comes hard, her sex sucking at my digits, driving me so crazy with lust that I can’t stop myself from bending her over to plant her hands on the wall.
Her ass is a masterpiece, one I fully intend to worship later. Much later, I think, growling when I line up and slam into her still quaking sex.
“Oooooh.” Her cry is music to my ears, as is the immediate orgasm that slams into her, her animals controlling her now as pleasure engulfs her body.
This is a part of shifter female biology that cannot be ignored; our females come hard for their males, and my female isn’t disappointing me. As her body sucks at my dick, I concentrate on dragging it out to the point that she’s maddened from pleasure.
Pulsing into her, I give her short shallow thrusts followed by long digs that bring her to her toes and make her scream out louder. I want in her, so deep. Fuck, I want in her so deep I’m covered in her.
Pushing her down closer to the wall, I press deeper with every thrust, snarling as she clenches and throbs around me, her sex shooting sparks of pleasure straight through me until I’m insane and out of my mind. I lose it when she screams my name, and before I can think, I have my teeth in her skin as cum shoots straight from my balls into her womb. The orgasm is…out of this world. My instinct, my possession, as I force myself not to bite too deep and pretend that she is finally mine and I’m mating her.
Long, long, shuddering blissful minutes later after my spine stops tingling and my brain can function, I pull out with a grunt and turn Beebe to face me, kissing her lips.
This is my thanks, my regret, my…
It’s all I have to give, as I force myself to stop and take care of her, washing her body and hair before shutting off the water and drying her thoroughly.
By the time we’re in bed, naked and exhausted, her body cuddled to mine, I know…
She can’t be mine, but I am hers.
Chapter Twelve
Beebee
I swallow nervously as I lift the phone to my ear, making a face at Brig when he nods again, silently telling me to do this or he’ll kick my ass. The phone keeps ringing, and with every ring, I feel my chest tighten to the point I can hardly breathe by the time the call is picked up.
“Kendall residence.”
I can’t do this, I think, bile rising in my throat when I hear that voice and once again feel all the pain I’ve experienced over the months when I thought this was it, that I lost them.
I’ve let them go once before, in that dirty little room where I was hurt and beaten and really believed I was going to die. I would lie in that room and silently cry while saying goodbye to the two people in my life who actually loved me.
Hearing her, knowing that there is more than a chance that my mom will hate me, I clear my throat and just breathe, willing myself to get through this without crying and begging her to forgive me.
“Hello?”
I can’t. Brig grabs the phone, giving me a hard look and then pushes it back to my ear before I can disconnect, his expression warning me not to even try it.
Fucking asshole!
I don’t see him calling his family to make up, or whatever it is he expects to happen here. All I know is that when I woke up this morning he was adamant that I call, and he wouldn’t shut up about it until I gave in.
I should have kicked him in the nuts and split like I wanted to, I think, closing my eyes when Mom talks again.
“Hello? Is there anyone there? Verity, is that you? I’ve told you before not to pocket dial me anymore!”
“It’s, uh, it’s me, Mama,” I croak, blinking when she screams her happiness and starts crying, her words a mashed together babble of sound that tells me nothing but that Mama obviously isn’t mad at me.
Tension drains out of me, relaxing my shoulders, and I slump back in the seat at the table, just breathing through the huge lump in my throat. I don’t know how she’s not angry with me, but I will take it without hesitation or shame.
I have no shame when it comes to those I love. Sniffling, I ignore Brig’s chuckle and try to get Mama to calm down long enough to actually speak to me.
“Oh, oh honey. I am so sorry… I just… I didn’t expect this, and I’m so surprised, and I just… Gile! Gile, are you here? Barbie called! She’s on the phone. Oh shoot, I think he already left to go see Aaron down at the store.” She sighs, tsking me for choosing the worst time to call.
“Not that I didn’t want you to, honey, but I know your daddy would be just tickled to hear from you. You know he’s been impossible to live with since he found out.”
I swallow, this time choking on my shame and bite my lip to stave off real sobs.
“I know, Mama. I know, and I am so, so sorry about the shame this is bringing to you and Daddy,” I whisper, hanging my head to avoid Brig’s penetrating look.
“Oh Barbie, my baby girl, it’s okay. It’s just one little thing, honey. We’re family. You’re my young. I told you long ago we will always be family no matter what, and I mean it. I will always be your mama, no matter what you do. Besides, it’s nothing Barbie,” she assures me, her voice going soft.
“Nothing? Mama, I—”
“You made a mistake, Barbie. That’s all. We all make mistakes, girl, some more than others. Now I realize this will change your whole life. I do, and I would spare you this pain if I could, but I can’t. What’s done is done. It’s time to move forward and not focus on the negative. Besides, I think this is just what this pack needed to shake up the way things are done around here. We’re all modern these days,” she mumbles, making me frown.
“But…I mean, I really fucked up, Mama.”
“So? It’s no one else’s business what you do, Barbie. You’re a grown female with your whole life ahead of you! No one has the right to judge you for one tiny misstep, especially not with the moral decay around here lately. Why, I was just telling Verity the other day that I am sure Greta Miller is sleeping with Clarke Kilter and the Henner boy, oh what is his name?”
“Carlon?” I ask, blinking because this is really not the direction I thought this conversation would take.
Honestly, I expected some yelling, maybe a lecture from Dad, and then if they didn’t forgive me, a shouted demand never to call again. I so didn’t expect Mama to start talking about who is sleeping with whom. Or who, that still confuses me.
“That’s the one! I saw Greta sneaking out of his place at six in the morning when I went for a run, and I can tell you, sweetie, it shocked me speechless because I could have sworn I scented Clarke on her. But, oh well.” She sighs. “Young people today don’t believe in Fatings and mating for life. They just want some fun. And that’s fine! That. Is. Fine.” She rushes the words out breathlessly, making me frown.
Brig raises his eyebrows silently, questioning my expression, and I shrug and let him take the phone to activate the speaker, twisting my lips when Mama sighs again.
“Well, I’m sure it’s no big deal anyway. As for you, well, I am just so happy that you called,” she says.
I smile, a real smile, and watch Brig drink his coffee and roll his eyes.
“So tell me when I’m seeing you again! And
don’t go telling me that you’re staying out of the pack! I refuse to let you raise my grandyoung out there with humans!”
I gape, choking when Brig splutters and spits coffee in my face, my mouth smacking when it hits my tongue and I swallow. I kiss the guy, and I enjoy it, but Jesus, that is just gross.
He keeps coughing, his shoulders shaking when I blink again and swipe at my face with my sleeve.
“Er…? Am I missing something here…?” I ask, my mind stuck on the word young while my alarm bells go off.
Brig is still laughing—though I notice that he’s lost some color and his eyes are avoiding mine like the plague.
“Missing something? Barbie Kendall, are you still out there, thinking that I don’t know about you being pregnant and carrying that Seers male’s whelp?”
Say what now?
“Mama—?”
“That is fine! It’s fine. I mean, we don’t exactly think he’s the one for you. I mean, he’s a…a wuss! I always saw you with a really brawny, strong male…like Clarke.”
I still don’t know quite what she’s saying, but now it’s my turn to giggle when Brig goes still and blinks, his expression darkening.
“Oh, I really like that male. I think he likes you too, and I think you should come home and offer him a mating. I bet if you and the Seers male split up, Clarke would be male enough to accept that young as his own and raise it—”
“I will raise my young! Me. No one is going bust in here and steal my mate and young!” Brig yells, exploding out of his seat with so much ferocity I blink and stay quiet for long seconds or pure shock.
Mate? Young? Wait a minute…
“Er mama, I’ll call you back.”
“No! Wait. I…I am so sorry. I didn’t know she had it on speaker. Ahem. Uh. Hello, Brigger. This is Mrs. Kendall, your…mother-in-law. It is…very nice to meet you.”
“No one—”
“Mama, I’ll call you back!” I yell before he can say another word, the look on his face warning me that it won’t be at all good.
Greyriver Shifters Page 59