Banner grunts, shifting his hips and drops his head onto my shoulder, his hips picking up the pace and—
I shove him off, letting out a snarl of anger and turn over onto my stomach, leaning my head onto the mattress while my ass goes up in the air.
“Banner!”
He pauses, his eyes igniting a deep gold that turns me on even more, and I see the amount of power it takes for him to control himself. I don’t want that. I need him to unleash on me and fuck me. I can’t do love making now, and sex, the way he does sex with me is too gentle.
I need hard and wild, and I need it now because I feel like I’m going to die without it.
“Preza, let me—”
“I can’t! Oh Banner, please. Please baby, I can’t take this anymore. I need you. All of you. Oh God!” I cry, tears leaking out of me when I gasp through a shuddering wave of heat that shakes though my body.
Every inch of skin, every pore, every tiny hair is alive with need, and I know the only person who can stop it is Banner.
He snarls when I back up, rubbing against him and grabs my hips in a steely grip.
“Cant. Hurt you,” he whines, the rasp in his voice telling me his bear is merging, trying to take over.
“I hurt without you. Please. I can’t stand gentle anymore, Ban. You need to—oh!” I scream when his control snaps and he thrusts into me, going all the way in on a slam that sends him into my womb.
I scream again, scratch at the sheets, and push back when he goes still, my hips working while my body ignores him and takes what I need.
“Preza, slow—oh fuck. I can’t. You have to stop. I can’t hold out if you do that!” he roars, his head going back when I clamp down on him and shake through a climax that makes my need race higher.
The clenches are what does it, and now it’s me screaming and holding on because he loses all sense of self and starts drilling into me with long, punishing strokes that finally satisfies the ache.
When I come again, this one the ultimate pleasure, everything in me lets go, my sex slamming down around him, locking him inside me, as wave after wave washes through me.
He grunts, pressing deeper, and roars out when he comes, the wet, hot spray of his seed bathing me inside and stilling, finally stilling the need.
Panting, I collapse onto my stomach, sighing blissfully when everything inside me stills. Gone is the overpowering ache that’s been in me all day. Gone is my pain, the fatigue, the certainty that I should stop seeing him completely.
The moment I woke from my fainting spell in Blain’s office, refreshed and feeling like a new woman, all I felt was…Banner. It became stronger and stronger the longer the day went on, getting so bad that at one point the seat of my jeans was damp, and Blain took one step into the kitchen, sniffed, turned on his heel, and left the house.
I was mortified all day, at least my inner me was while I swallowed and groaned my way through work and finally snapped when I saw him. I can’t explain this. I don’t understand what the heck is happening to me, but I know that I feel better and I definitely want more of the sex I just had.
Later. After I’ve basked in the glow and let my body recover.
“Preza?” Banner asks after taking time to catch his breath and fall beside me on the bed. “What was that?”
I grunt, rolling to my side and don’t even bother to cover my boobs when they lean with me in a natural droop that usually makes me self-conscious.
I feel way too good. Too sated. Too alive.
“I don’t know. It just came on this morning and…and the more time passed, the worse it got. It was like…like if I didn’t have you, I was gonna die,” I say on a breath, blinking when his eyes pop open and glow in the darkness of the room.
“Describe it, baby. Please. I…I need to know,” he whispers, humming when I slide closer and rest my cheek against his chest.
Looking out at the night, the trees swaying gently with new leaves, the stars out in full force, I try to think about today and piece it together.
“I don’t know. I mean, I was tired this morning, like really tired, and then…then I just started feeling…hot…needy. Like I was going to go up in flames if I didn’t have you. I thought of you—only you. It felt like my mind was racing, pacing inside me and…and I got so…even I could smell myself,” I say, blushing when he reaches a hand down between my legs.
I’m still wet there, drenched from hours of loving, but it feels good, especially when he growls and cups me intimately.
“In shifter culture, we call this mella. It’s defined differently from breed to breed, but Mom once told me we bears call it ‘the spring of life’. A time when your female’s body is so fertile she becomes irresistible to her male.”
He says this reverently, as if all this…fluid, is some sort of accomplishment. As if I don’t have a reason to be mortified that I am everywhere right now, and we should shower and change the sheets.
I’d insist, but I’m so replete I can’t move.
“How do you feel now?”
“Hhhm, good. Sleepy. A little hungry, but I can’t move, and I don’t wanna do anything but just lay here with you. Hhhmm, you smell good,” I mumble, pressing my face closer to his chest.
He’s got no hair here, something that makes me a little sad because I want to snuggle my face into it and get comfortable, just breathe all of him in and take him inside me.
Now that I don’t feel anything but relaxed pleasure it’s as if my mind has no anchor.
Boo!
I go to scream, tense, react in any way, but I can’t move a muscle when I hear that cheeky voice and the giggle that accompanies it.
Whatcha doing?
As if you don’t already know. Shouldn’t you be sleeping?
Can’t! Got all this energy tonight and Logan passed out like an hour ago and he refuses to sex me some more.
Well, I just got sexed and I’m trying to sleep.
But we haven’t spoken in ages and now that you’re not streaming that Harpy in your head I can finally talk to you. Not nice, Tiny Cass. See what I did there? Tiny C-ass? God, I’m so good. Give me a sec, I need to wipe!
I snort, snuggling into Banner, who seems to have passed out mid-talk. Not that I mind. I mean, I hate lying to him, but no way am I going to explain that I’ve been on the verge of collapse for weeks and fainted and that I let Blain take care of me. He hates Blain. He hates that I even see the guy, never mind cook and clean for him.
Apparently, it offends his male pride that I “care for” another male. Whatever that means.
I’m back! So, you and Banner are finally able to do the nasty, and you’re okay?
Yes, I am totally okay. It looks like you’re wrong about him being my Kryptonite. We’re totally good. Just had one two-hour-long orgasm that—
End that thought right there. Ban is like my brother. Only, I like this one.
You don’t like Blain and Brig? But they’re so nice.
Brig is mated to my best friend, so I have no choice but to tolerate the cocky asshole. That sounded—
Move on. It’s too dirty to pick apart and rephrase.
But that’s the best type. Fine! Brig’s a bastard, and Blain is just…he’s cold. He sort of reminds me of my dad, you know before my mate severed his throat from the rest of him. I tend to avoid him if I can. When I was little he’d scare the hell out of me until I ran into the woods and hid out for hours.
Don’t be mean. He just needs friends. He’s all alone.
He sleeps with a different female every night that one. He recycles them, but I believe he once told me his rule is to spread them out in a schedule, so he doesn’t do one more than once in a month. He thinks they’ll cling if he keeps them around too long.
Now I snort because I’ve heard this before. Heck, I’ve had to let his bed partners out of the house some mornings when he tells them to hit the road.
He just needs to find someone.
He needs to find a soul, and while he’s at it he n
eeds to stop giving Mother booze. She keeps drunk dialing me.
Er.
You did not! Cass, you cannot tell my mother we have a chance to reconcile when it’s a blatant lie.
Oh come on. She’s all sad and lonely, and she misses you! She’s about to be a grandma, and she just wants to see her family and share in the love and—
The only thing she loves in this life is herself. Stop feeding her chocolate. It’s giving her the will to live.
Oh you. You’re being a meanie. You know you love her.
Do not. Anyway, I was talking about you and the big, cuddly bear. Are you mating? Has he bit you? I can’t get anything from you lately, you’re so closed off.
Which is normal because people shouldn’t read each other’s minds.
That is not—oh wait! I wanted to show you something. Beeber, say hello!
Hello.
I almost freak out when I hear Barbie Seers voice in my head but giggle when I literally feel her eye roll at Hannah’s crowing.
How cool am I?
Awfully. And I mean that in the worst way.
Beeber, stop being mean and let’s all just get along. Look at this, I have mad skills. I can talk to everyone!
This isn’t right. I feel exposed.
Cass, you are exposed. Look under the sheet and Banner’s—
Do not listen to her! She can see through your eyes. Trust me on this. It’s un-fucking-natural.
I giggle when Barbie says this and Hannah sniffs.
You two are no fun.
Because we’re sleeping. And I really am tired. I had sex for like two hours.
Braggart! Logan says I need rest. Can you believe this? I think his ass is getting old—
I’m telling.
Beeber, I will laugh in your head every time you have sex with Brig if you don’t stop being mean to me. It hurts my feeling.
No, you won’t. The last time you popped in mid-thrust you didn’t talk to me for two days. It was heaven.
That is just so…whatever. So. We’re discussing whether or not Cass and Banner are gonna mate and do the Fating.
No, we weren’t. You were fishing, and I was avoiding the question.
Why?
Yeah Cass, answer Beeber. Why?
I sigh, flopping onto the pillow because I feel like I’m violating Banner with the danger of Hannah’s mind eyes. Turning to stare out the window, I don’t quite know what to say.
Look, this essence thing, it may be better, but it’s still there. Althea says it’s worse, not better even if I feel better, and I just can’t do mating with him until I know.
But you want to, right?
Yes Hannah, I want to. I love Banner.
So do it! When Brig and I were together and having all our troubles with the council—
We’ve heard this story.
“Hannah! You tell me like a million times a day about how you got attacked by a Banes male who ripped your throat out!
Yeah, but my story is cool. It’s an epic love story about a male who fought against himself because he loved his female so much. Hell, he ran all the way with me cradled in his arms with his balls out in the air and—
I know this already and so does Cass. We’re talking about her here. Mating? What’s up?
I told you. I’m still sick. I don’t want to do all of the blood stuff and we’ll be together forever and spin all these dreams if I just get worse. I’d rather not have the love at all, well, all of it so completely if it’s gonna disappear.
Why would it disappear? He’s yours for life.
If I am alive! What would he feel if we build this super-bond like you guys told me about and I just…
Shoot. She has a point Hannah.
God, I hate that she’s right. A bond will definitely hurt him more if she, if anything happens. God, I want to find that Gregor and rip his nuts off!
I second that, as does Barbie.
I’m going to sleep so I can get some rest before Brig wakes up to kill me with pleasure. Peace out, Travelling Pants sister!
Peace.
Love you guys.
Once they’re gone, giggling because I just can’t be cool, always have to have the last encouraging word, I lay back with a sigh and turn my head to smile at Banner’s sleeping form.
Gosh, he’s just so great.
I should totally tell him that when he wakes up.
Chapter Nineteen
Banner
I roll over and slide an arm around Cass, humming when I pull her closer and her warm skin touches mine. My hand goes to her breast, plumping the globe with a satisfied sigh.
I’m already hard, having woken in this state because all I smell is Cass and me, melded, blended together in the air. I don’t move though because as great as sex is, this part, just being, is as important as the rest.
Holding her close, I enjoy her little snoring purrs and the way she mumbles in her sleep, as if she can’t help but dream to keep the images in her head constantly moving.
I like that about her, that she is as capable of change as she is of being a steady presence in my life. With Cass I can come home and know that everything is as it should be, but also that I will ever be surprised by what happens next.
She’s like that. I could walk in the door to find Lync shaved—
A few days ago, I came home after a long day and stopped dead in my tracks when I saw Lync sitting at the kitchen table, clean shaven and sporting a new haircut, albeit it a rather strange cut that looked very home cut.
His hair was wet, slicked back from his face and the hair on his cheeks, extending all the way up his temples was gone. Cass was so proud of herself she was practically skipping on the spot, even if she looked a little tired.
Well hell, she had a right to be tired if she got through de-hairing Lync.
Anyway, we got through dinner, my eyes flitting to Lync with a frown, until I realized what the problem is. I could see growth. Fast growth. I laughed until I cried when Cass stopped chattering mid flow and gasped.
Lync’s hair growth literally exploded in under a second. One minute he looked clean shaven and the next poof! Full head of hair again.
You ever seen one of those cartoons where the dog bathes, jumps out of the tub, shakes itself, and ends up looking like a pom pom? That, right there, is what happened.
She was so mad she frowned for a second before my laughter and Lync’s silent ‘I told you so’ got her giggling too.
That’s her though. My little repair human. Always thinking every situation has a fix and refusing to believe that anyone is irredeemable. Christ, she really must believe that if she’s still looking at Hannah and thinking she’s sweet.
Just look at what she’s doing with Seers. I snarl, growl, snap, and lose my shit all the time because I hate him and believe he’s not good enough to lick her feet, and yet she adores him. She thinks it’s funny that he’s “playing hard to get” and that he “wants to be my friend, he’s just fighting it because he doesn’t know any better.”
That mother of his as well. She’s constantly rude to Cass, and yet she buys her chocolate and fixes her hair and lets her call her the “pet” because she thinks she’s calling her Pet—as if it’s an endearing nickname.
I’ve long since stopped trying to convince her that they’re not worth her time because I’ve come to see that she will never change her views. All people are good, even Gregor—the dead male. When I see him, he is dead. All people have one redeeming quality.
No one is unworthy of her friendship or support. In short, she is kindness personified and I love it. Reluctantly when it comes to Seers, but all the same, I love that she is that optimistic about life.
Her happy balances out my cynicism.
Her joy makes me feel alive for the first time in years. Even my animals are calmer, as if in joint agreement that they both love her and want her. I accept it all now, wanting to blood and mate her to form the bond so badly I can taste it.
I don’t though. I sens
e that she’s not ready for that big of a step, and as much as it hurts, I’ll wait if she needs time. Now that I feel more and more that she’ll be okay, we have all the time in the world to get to the big stuff.
For now, I am satisfied just to have her.
And I am so grateful for last night because not only was it spectacular, it was a relief. I got to unleash all of me, letting go of the restraint that sometimes almost kills me to keep when I touch her.
Last night was wild, and I feel free, as if knowing that I didn’t hurt her proves she was made for me. She’s not even blooded yet, and she took me, all of me, and asked for more.
She truly is mine.
Thank God she’s better though. For the last week, as I witnessed her declining, I started panicking and telling myself it’s all me, that I’m still making her sick. Maybe she just needed time to bounce back?
Whatever it is, I thank God for it because now I can slow down, focus, and just be with her.
“Hhhmm, are you doing that for a purpose, or is this just you turning me on unbearably while you doze?”
I chuckle at her husky, sleepy mumble and roll her to her back, leaning down to kiss her and ignore her wiggling because “my breath smells gross, Banner.”
I should be offended because her breath actually smells like me, like she’s been sucking on my—
A howl splits the air, Lync’s furious howl, and I bolt from the bed without thought, grabbing sweatpants while barking at Cass to stay where she is. Hopping as I run, I pull them on and stumble downstairs to see Lync snarling at the door while Blain Seers stands on the front porch, rolling his eyes and looking about as afraid as he would be of a mouse.
“Give it a rest already. I told you I’m not leaving. I need to see her before I leave town for a few days.”
Storming over to the door, I give Lync a chin nod to let him know I have this and chuckle when he bares his teeth at Blain before storming back to the kitchen. He knows how to make coffee and toast now and is undoubtedly fixing some for “his” Cass.
Possessive bastard.
“The fuck you want?”
Greyriver Shifters Page 89