“Don’t you worry about that,” he said. “I’ll not see you homeless. Have you had a doctor to him?”
She shook her head.
“He won’t have one,” she said.
“Well, I say he will,” said the Earl. “I shall send for my own physician this very day. And don’t worry about anything. I’ll take care of everything for you.”
“Thank you, My Lord,” she said, but she noticed that all the time he was talking to her, he was looking at her ring. Her father’s words came back to her, how he believed it was the Earl who had given her that ring for their engagement, because he recognised it. He had seen it in the Castle, on one of the days His Lordship opened up the great hall to the townsfolk and the villagers.
“Did Simon Swinburne give you that ring?” the Earl asked suddenly. “For your engagement?”
“He did, yes,” she said. “Why?”
The Earl bit his lip thoughtfully. He could see she had gained weight and he believed she was with child, but he would not mention it. He glanced at the ring again, then made up his mind. This girl had enough on her plate, with her father ill and her fiancé deserting her. She did not need to know that the man she had given herself to was a thief as well.
“Nothing,” he said. “Go home. Be with your father. Expect a visit from the physician this afternoon.”
Jessica forced a smile and turned away, hurried back to the village. The last thing she wanted was a physician who might discover the cause of Jack’s illness and she saw the way the Earl was looking at her ring; she also saw the way he was looking at her. She had managed to let out her dresses and it was nearly autumn, so she could hide behind her coats and long jackets, but she refused to tighten her corset like many women did. That didn’t seem right to her; surely a baby needed room to breathe. Simon’s child might be born out of wedlock, but it would be all she had left of him and she wanted it to be healthy.
But the Earl’s attention had made her uncomfortable; he had noticed. She knew he had noticed.
Pauline Atkin was there when Jessica got home, fussing around Jack, trying to persuade him to wake up and eat something.
“You’re wasting away, Jack,” she said. “You want to be up to give Jessica away at her wedding, don’t you? You don’t want to miss that.”
She turned to Jessica as she stepped inside.
“I think you might have to put the wedding off,” she said. “At least until your father’s better.”
“That’s a good idea,” said Jessica, grasping this excuse with both hands.
“Did you see the Earl?”
“I did,” said Jessica. “He’s sending a doctor.”
Pauline gasped.
“That’s expensive, love,” she said. “Does your father have that sort of money?”
“His Lordship’s paying,” said Jessica.
It was no lie, but as soon as the words were out she knew they’d be taken as more confirmation that it was Robert de Longueville Jessica was going to marry.
“Well, I should think so, too,” said Pauline. “It’s about time he did something for his bride’s family. People were beginning to talk.”
And I bet you were the one making the most noise, thought Jessica.
She didn’t like Pauline. It wasn’t out of some loyalty to her late mother, nothing like that, because she hadn’t liked her much either. She just didn’t like her and she was suspicious about the way she had got so friendly with Jack when everyone thought his daughter was going to marry Lord Harrisford. Jessica didn’t think it was Jack’s handsome looks and personality that attracted her.
The sound of a horse drew her to the window, where a stranger was dismounting and tying the animal to a post beside the drinking trough. Jessica watched him stroll towards their cottage and assumed this was the physician Lord Harrisford had promised to send. She doubted he would have come this quickly if she had sent for him.
She needed to go. She wasn’t a good liar and she had no wish to answer questions about her father’s health and how the illness had come upon him. She moved to the small kitchen and out of the back door, into the tiny garden and away through the back gate.
She knew Catherine would be meeting Michael about this time of day and she wanted to catch her before she went indoors. She didn’t want another confrontation with Catherine’s mother.
There was a low wall at the back of the cottages and she sat and waited, watched from a distance as Michael kissed Catherine. Jessica had been shocked the first time she saw that, but now it seemed natural even if it was in public. They had few places to go that weren’t in public; she couldn’t bring him back to her cottage, not when her parents firmly believed that Catherine had obeyed their prohibition and told Michael she wouldn’t see him again.
They were in love; anyone could see that. No one was going to come between them that was for certain. But watching them, Jessica could only think of Simon and their wonderful afternoon together and she felt a stab of jealousy. Catherine could still have the man she loved and if she got into the state Jessica was in, he would stand by her, he would marry her. Jessica had no such option; Simon would be dead by now, dead and buried and she knew not where.
Tears began to spill over and she wiped them away impatiently. She would weep alone; it was easier that way.
She stood as her friend approached, she reached out her hands to her and kissed her cheek.
“I’m so glad I caught you,” she said. “I want to ask a favour.”
“Anything I can do, you know that.”
“There’s this place in Newmarket,” Jessica said. “It’s run by the Salvation Army.”
“I’ve heard of it,” said Catherine. “The unmarried mothers’ home. You’re not thinking of going there?”
“I don’t have much choice, do I?” said Jessica. “I’m beginning to show. Even His Lordship noticed.”
Catherine raised an enquiring eyebrow.
“What did he say?”
“Nothing,” said Jessica. “It was just the way he was looking at me. I’m sure he noticed and he asked about my ring, too.”
“The ring? The engagement ring that Mr Swinburne gave you?”
Jessica nodded.
“Dad said he’d seen in on display at the Castle. It was one of the things that started him off thinking I was going to marry His Lordship. I never thought much of it at the time, but now I think perhaps Simon helped himself to it.”
“Didn’t he tell you it had been in his family for years?” said Catherine.
“Yes, he did,” said Jessica. “He said it had belonged to his great grandmother, but I think he lied.” She fingered the brooch she wore beneath her coat. “He probably stole the brooch too.”
“Oh, Jess,” said Catherine, giving her a hug. “I’m so sorry. But the unmarried mothers’ home.”
“What else can I do? Father would throw me out if he knew and that Pauline Atkin is just longing to get rid of me and take over.”
“She’ll not be so keen when she finds out she’s only getting a tenant farmer, a two bedroom cottage and no servants,” muttered Catherine.
Jessica laughed.
“What did you want to ask me?” said Catherine.
“Will you come with me?” Jessica said. “I mean, to the place. I don’t want to go by myself.”
“Of course I will,” said Catherine. “When do you want to go?”
“The sooner, the better I suppose,” said Jessica despondently. “What do you think it’ll be like? Do you think they’ll be nice?”
“We’ll not know till we get there,” said Catherine. “We’ll get the bus this afternoon.”
Back in her cottage, Pauline Atkin was busy setting the table for tea. She’d cooked some sort of fish dish, something Jessica had never had before, and she noted there were two places set. Jessica didn’t really like fish, but she’d take what was given.
“Your Father’s no better,” said Pauline. “That doctor weren’t much use. He didn’t seem to know what ail
ed him. He even asked if Jack had been abroad lately. Abroad! I ask you! Who did he think he was talking to?”
Jessica said nothing, only ate the meal and thanked Pauline. She washed up the dirty crockery, then made her way up the stairs to pack her bag for tomorrow’s ordeal. Glancing into her father’s bedroom, she could hear the steady breathing that comes with deep sleep. It didn’t take this long for Mother to go and she was a heavier person.
She crept up to the bed and gently moved the cover away from Jack’s sleeping body. He was very thin. He’d slept for most of the past three months.
In her own bedroom she packed up some underwear and nightgowns, some other bits she thought she might need and a couple of spare dresses that she’d already let out to accommodate her thickening figure.
Slipping on her coat, she took the ring from her finger and picked up the brooch she had put in her little trinket box. Both went into her pocket and she carried the bag downstairs.
“Where d’ya think you’re going, young lady?” demanded Pauline.
“What’s it got to do with you?” replied Jessica. “You’ve got no right to ask me where I’m going.”
“In the absence of your father, I think I have,” said Pauline.
“Well, I don’t agree. I’m over twenty one and I’ll do what I want. Don’t expect me back any time soon.”
She left the cottage and made her way slowly up the hill to the Castle, trying not to think about the two items of jewellery in her pocket. That was when she felt the movement in her womb, a sharp jolt from inside. That made it real, somehow, far more than the lack of a monthly curse, or the thickening of her figure, or the soreness in her breasts. Something was there, moving inside her, a tiny creature who would one day tear itself loose and draw breath, begin to grow.
She wondered if it would be a boy who looked like his father. It was exciting for a moment, then she recalled the gossip she had heard about girls getting themselves pregnant and no husbands. Getting themselves pregnant, that’s what they said, as though the girl had done it all by herself.
Lord Harrisford opened the doors as she approached. He usually did that, she realised now, whenever anyone came close. He must have been watching for anyone to come to the door; he was secretive, reclusive and no one had ever been inside the Castle, except the one day when the great hall was opened to the villagers and the few servants who went in once a month and were carefully supervised and restricted to certain rooms.
Jessica had learned that from a woman who once worked there. She said the Earl watched them all carefully, to be sure they didn’t go where they liked and kept to the rooms he wanted cleaned. She also said they had heard footsteps overhead.
“Miss Milligan,” he said politely. “Is your father no better?”
“He isn’t, My Lord,” she said. “But that’s not why I’ve come.”
She reached into her pocket and brought out the ring and the brooch.
“I think these belong to you,” she said.
He took them from her, glanced down at them for a brief second, then his eyes met hers.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
“No need. I have to believe he wanted to impress me, wanted me to think he had more than he actually did. He did it because he loved me.”
“I expect you’re right,” said the Earl, but they both knew it was not the truth.
She turned away and picked up her bag, walked back to the village and along the main road to where the bus would stop to pick up passengers. There wouldn’t be many free seats, but enough for Jessica and her friend.
She had rarely left the village before, only a few times with Simon. Now she was going into an unknown future to a place she could not even imagine and she was terrified.
***
Catherine worried about her friend. She didn’t mind going with her, not in the least, and she couldn’t deny she was curious to see such a place. But poor Jessica was having to leave everything she had ever known and what would happen after the birth?
She couldn’t imagine Jessica giving up a baby, yet what else could she do? Nobody must ever know the truth; she would be ruined, shunned and there would be no chance of her finding a husband. Everyone agreed that no man wanted damaged goods.
After her meeting with Jessica, she went home to change into more comfortable shoes and found her parents entertaining a young man she hadn’t seen before. He was about twenty five, cleanshaven and quite well dressed in a dark blue suit. He was drinking tea at the table and he stood quickly when she entered. It was a nice change from the strange man at number three, who seemed to live in a made up world all his own.
“This is Mr Jameson,” said Mary Simmons. “He’s going to be Lord Harrisford’s new estate manager. And guess what? He’s related to His Lordship.”
“Only very distantly, Madam,” interrupted the guest.
“This is my daughter, Catherine,” said Mary.
Please don’t tell him how I was going to marry the Earl before Jessica jumped in, thought Catherine, desperately. If this man was really related, it would be bound to get back to him.
“I am very pleased to meet you,” he said, in a clipped, upper class accent. “Robert, let’s call him my cousin for brevity’s sake, tells me he had a bit of trouble with the last estate manager, which is why he asked me. One can rely on relatives, don’t you find?”
Not really, thought Catherine.
“I heard that Mr Swinburne left because of his health,” said Catherine.
“Yes,” said Mr Jameson hesitantly. Obviously this was news to him. “Either way, I need to go and arrange things for my new home. If you will excuse me. I hope we will meet again soon.”
He got to his feet, ready to leave, but Mary hadn’t yet finished her enquiries.
“I suppose, Mr Jameson,” she said, “You’ll be staying in the Castle with the Earl.”
“No, I think not,” he replied. “Robert has given me a house on the estate. I think it was originally built for the steward, but of course he doesn’t need such a person nowadays.”
As he left, Catherine began to make her way upstairs to change her shoes, but her mother stopped her.
“What a nice young man,” she said. “And not married either. He’s not the Earl, of course, but a relative. Still nobility and you never know that His Lordship might not have a son to inherit. I mean, Jessica’s mother only ever had that one girl.”
“I have to go out,” said Catherine. “I don’t know how long I’ll be, so don’t wait supper for me.”
“His name is Paul,” said Mary, as though she hadn’t spoken. “That’s such a nice name, don’t you think? So elegant.”
Catherine made no reply, just continued her climb to her bedroom. She had to meet Jessica in half an hour and she wasn’t looking forward to their afternoon. She was in no mood to argue about Michael.
***
Jessica was waiting when Catherine arrived, seated on a low wall where she could signal the bus to stop when it came along. She looked a sad sight, sitting there with her knees together and her bag on her lap. She also looked terrified and Catherine empathised with her. She could only imagine how her friend must feel and she was happy to do anything she could to help her. She only wished she could do more than go with her today.
Luckily the bus was empty so the two girls were able to talk securely.
“Do they know you’re coming?” asked Catherine.
Jessica shook her head.
“Do you think I should have written? Ask if it was all right?” she said. “I never thought.”
Catherine took her hand.
“I’m sure it’ll be all right,” she said. “If not, we’ll just go home, keep quiet and try again.”
Jessica ran her hands over her swelling abdomen.
“I don’t think I can do that,” she said. “I’m sure the Earl noticed; it won’t be long before that nosy Pauline notices.”
“Well,” said Catherine. “We’ll think of something. But … well, what
are you going to do afterwards? I mean once the baby is born.”
“I don’t know. I suppose I’ll have to find some employment to help keep us. I’ll have to find someone to look after the babe. No one’s going to employ a girl with a baby and no husband.” She blinked away threatening tears. “I wish Simon were here,” she said. “I wouldn’t have to go through this if he hadn’t taken ill.”
“He should have gone through with the wedding,” said Catherine. “Then you could have held up your head as a widow, instead of a fallen woman.”
Fallen woman. Yes, that’s what I am, thought Jessica.
“I never thought of it like that,” she said. “I’ve always thought of fallen women as those types that charge men for their company. But you’re right; I’m a fallen woman, aren’t I? I’m just as bad.”
Catherine put an arm around her.
“No, you’re not,” she said. “You’re not like them at all.”
“It’s what everyone will say though, isn’t it?”
Catherine took her hand and that’s when she realised the ring was missing. Her eyes rested on her friend’s naked finger for a moment, then she looked her in the face.
“Where’s your ring?” she asked.
“I gave it back to its rightful owner,” said Jessica. “Along with the brooch.”
“So it was His Lordship’s ring, then,” said Catherine.
Jessica nodded.
“He was very good about it,” she said. “He didn’t say it was his and he didn’t ask for it back, but I knew, so I took it up to the Castle just before I came to meet you.”
The horses drew to a bumpy stop and they got out, stepping onto a cobbled pavement. They both looked about for a few minutes before Jessica pointed a little way along the almost empty street.
“I think it’s up there,” she said. “That big house on the corner.”
They began to walk toward it, their footsteps slowing the closer they got, but Jessica stopped before she reached the door and looked about again.
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