by Vicki Tharp
Could Clementine really be his?
“Our sex life was never an issue. It was the time we spent out of bed that was the problem. Especially when she brought illegal drugs into the mix. We only had sex one time that weekend.”
“It only takes one time.”
Olivia had tenacity. A quality he could admire if it hadn’t been focused on him. “Who’s to say she didn’t sleep with someone right before or right after we’d been together and only claimed the baby was mine?”
Olivia glared at him with an expression that called him seven kinds of idiot. “We both know Mae was many things, but promiscuous wasn’t one of them. Not until much later. After the baby came. When she couldn’t deal. When the drugs became more than recreational.”
He took Olivia’s words in. Mulled them over. If what Olivia said was true, he’d have to at least consider the possibility, but how could he know for certain?
Was he a father?
If today had been any indication, he wasn’t cut out for fatherhood. At least not at this stage in his life.
Olivia snapped her fingers in front of his face. “You didn’t hear a word I said, did you?”
Levi stared down at the gravel between his feet. “I was too busy freaking the fuck out. What did you say?”
“I said if Mae had named you as the father only because she wanted something from you, why wouldn’t she tell you about Clementine?”
The urge to reach for another beer or something stronger until his problems disappeared seemed overwhelming, but getting blackout drunk was not an option, not until he figured out what he was going to do about the kid.
Leaning back, he said, “You’re making a lot of sense.”
“Thank you.”
“What for?”
“For admitting that. I know it had to be painful for you.”
Did she tease him?
Her mouth quirked up at the edges, dislodging a begrudging chuckle from him. “You have no idea.”
They lapsed into silence. He had a lot to absorb. Olivia slouched down in her chair, stretched her long legs out in front of her, and stared up at a jet-black sky dotted with an infinite number of stars, apparently content to leave him to his thoughts.
She could have left at that point, but she didn’t, and he appreciated that.
“What about Mae’s parents? Surely they would be a better—”
Olivia laughed, more derisive then humorous. “Mae wouldn’t allow Clementine anywhere near her parents. She figured they screwed her up enough, there was no way she’d allow her parents to do the same to their granddaughter.”
Again, silence filled the gap before Olivia spoke again. “Mae tried so hard to do it on her own. She’d even kicked the drugs for a while, trying to be strong in her own way, but her self-doubt and her demons got the best of her. The downward spiral was slow, almost unnoticeable as she compensated. Then...” Olivia shrugged. “Then it wasn’t. Then it was too late.”
Anger rose. A rising tide that swelled and grew and threatened to swamp him. Standing, he paced back and forth before his emotions—the disbelief, the regret, the guilt—drowned him. He turned back toward Olivia, his throat tight. “Why didn’t she say something? Why didn’t she ask for my help?”
“You broke her heart, Levi.”
“I tried to get her help, I—”
“I know. She told me. It crushed her when you walked away. She couldn’t or wouldn’t go crawling back. No matter what.”
“Then you, or someone else, should have told me.”
“I didn’t know the truth until the end. Even then, she made me promise I wouldn’t tell.”
“But you did. You had to have told her brother, otherwise he wouldn’t have known where to find me.”
“That was a mistake.”
So, so, so much anger. At Mae. At her family. At Olivia. At himself. But for the life of him, he couldn’t think how he could have done things any differently that would have made the situation better.
He turned his wrath on her because she was within striking distance. “If Randy hadn’t come, if Randy hadn’t had enough, you would have let me, let Clementine, go our whole lives without knowing the other existed?”
Olivia stood and got in his face. “Don’t blame me, or anyone else besides Mae and yourself. She’s the one who lied. You’re the one that burned the bridge and scorched the earth around it, making her feel like you were the last person she could turn to.” She thumped him in the chest with the palm of her hand, her eyes glittered in the dark, full of piss and vinegar and indignant outrage. “That’s not on me.”
Levi fell back a step. Blowing out a scalding breath, he raised his hands in defeat and came right out and admitted the truth in what she’d said, “You’re right.”
“What kind of man—” Olivia gave her head a shake as if she couldn’t believe what she’d heard.
He was surprised she didn’t stick a finger in her ear and wiggle it around to make sure she wasn’t hearing things.
“Wait, you said I was right?”
“I did.”
Olivia almost looked disappointed. It made him smile.
“Why are you smiling?”
“You’re kind of sexy when your protective mama bear comes out.”
3
Sexy? Levi Banks thought she was sexy? Maybe being hit with the fact he was a father had somehow affected his vision. Men usually found her protective streak overbearing and patently unflattering.
As much as she wished for a witty comeback, Olivia couldn’t think of one. In its place, an unsexy, undignified, uncharacteristic, “Uhhhh...” came out.
She’d had it in for this man since Mae had told her he was Clementine’s father. That night Mae had been strung out, trying for the umpteenth time to quit drugs cold turkey.
God, Mae had tried, but in the end, her pain, her addiction, won.
And now... And now everything Olivia thought she knew about this man could be utterly, completely, life-changingly wrong.
Maybe if she considered him an ally and not the enemy, they could do what needed to be done—make sure Clementine grew up happy, healthy, and above everything else, loved.
“At least I know how to make you shut up. All I have to do is tell you you’re right,” Levi said.
“That I’m right should be a given.” Except when she was wrong. The way she’d been wrong about Levi. “You’re still an asshole,” Olivia said, but the begrudging smile she couldn’t fight off probably took the sting out of her words.
Levi’s grin got wider.
“That wasn’t a compliment.”
“When it’s said without venom, it almost sounds like a term of endearment. I think you like me, Olivia Marsh.”
Olivia scoffed. Just because the guy was hot and maybe not the complete and utter rotten bastard that Mae had made him out to be didn’t mean she liked him. He had a long way to go in her book to make it past asshole.
They yawned at the same time. Both had had a long day, and the emotional roller coaster only made the day that much more exhausting.
“Do you want help setting up a pallet for Clementine to sleep on?”
“I laid her on the bed. It’s big enough for both of us.”
“That’s cute.”
“What’s that?”
Besides the way his brows locked together when he scowled? “You’ve never slept with a three-year-old, have you?”
“I don’t normally make a habit of it, no.”
“They kick, they punch, they lay over your head like a cat in heat. You won’t get any sleep with her in the bed.”
“You’ve seen the camper. It’s not like I’ve got a spare room stacked up in there. What you see is what you get.”
Olivia opened his door and whispered, “Come on, I’ll help you get her situated.”
In the end, they turned the kitchen table and dinette into a bed for Clementine. It was too short and narrow for an adult, but for Clementine, it would be perfect. Levi used an extra blanket
for bedding and gave her his spare pillow.
When Olivia went to move her, Levi put a staying hand on her shoulder and said, “I’ve got her.”
Clementine woke when Levi lifted her to his chest and rubbed at her eyes.
“Ollie,” Clementine said.
“Hey, baby.” Olivia reached for Clementine, but the little girl snuggled deeper against Levi’s chest, her little arms tight around his neck.
“I no go with Randy. Me want Lebi.”
“Oh, baby,” Olivia said, stroking her hair. “I’m not taking you away. It’s okay.”
Clementine had never been a shy kid, but the way she’d taken to Levi in a few short hours made Olivia’s heart pinch and her chest tighten.
She’d thought leaving Clementine with Randy had been for the best. That’s what Mae had wanted, but it had taken Clementine months before she’d warmed up to Randy. It had taken Levi one night. Which compounded the guilt she now felt for not telling Levi about his daughter. For both of their sakes.
But you’d promised.
Yeah. Look where that had gotten them. And it had been Clementine who’d unknowingly paid the price. Not that Randy had been cruel. More like indifferent.
A child as sweet and innocent as Clementine deserved to be loved like a precious gift, not tolerated like a heavy burden.
With care, Levi laid Clementine on the bed and tucked the light-weight blanket around her. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head, but her little arm raised, her hand making a grabbing motion.
“Her horsey,” Levi said. He squeezed past Olivia and retrieved Clementine’s stuffed horsey and placed it under her arm. He leaned down and pressed a tender kiss to her temple. “Night, night, Pix.”
“Night,” Clementine muttered.
Levi shut off the overhead light, letting the tiny single bulb over his two-burner stove act as a nightlight.
They both climbed back out of the camper, and again Levi left the door ajar, surprising Olivia with his thoughtfulness and consideration.
Maybe there was more to this man than the bad things Mae had told her. He’d turned on his yellow bug light next to his door as he’d come out. In the amber glow, he didn’t look like he had the answers. Before she could step away, he reached for her hand, gently snagging her pinkie finger and pulling her closer.
Not enough that their bodies touched, but enough that they shared the same space and proximity, his voice slow and cautious when he said, “I don’t know what I’m doing.” The stark vulnerability made her want to wrap him in her arms and make it better. Make the mistakes and broken hearts go away. But she couldn’t fix the past.
“You’ll figure it out.” She didn’t say it to be dismissive, she said it with a faith she believed. Where that faith had come from, she didn’t know—maybe from the tender way he’d held Clementine, or the way he already had a nickname for her, or maybe because he’d known that when Clementine had reached out that she’d needed her horsey—but that’s why it’s called faith, and not certainty.
“You say that like you believe it.” He sounded like he wanted to believe it too.
Levi Banks wasn’t an evil entity to loathe. He was simply a man, doing his best to come to terms with his new reality. Olivia couldn’t fault him for that.
Olivia cupped his cheek. Because she was already there, standing so close, she leaned into him and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “That’s because I do.”
* * *
Three weeks later, Levi brushed the dirt off his jeans, and glanced up at his time on the scoreboard of the Terrebonne Parrish fairgrounds, near Houma, Louisiana. The crowd roared as Levi raised his hat in salute. He gathered Chunk’s reins and swung back up into the saddle and rode out of the arena, the irony already sinking in that he’d never posted such consistently good times as he’d had since Clementine had come into his life. The wins meant less to him than they ever had, except for the fact he could more easily provide for his daughter.
Everyone on the circuit had been calling her his good luck charm, and a few had even sought her out before their runs for a good luck fist bump, hoping the luck would wear off on them.
But the truth was, Levi was too scared to fail, to fail her. The rodeo was what he knew, and it was his only means of support.
Now instead of going to the bars on Sunday nights to celebrate winning a check, he stuck close to the camper or he took Clementine to a local diner for a late-night ice cream.
Once clear of the alley, Levi dismounted and led Chunk toward the concession stand where he’d left Clementine with Olivia.
“Chunky!” Clementine called out.
Levi glanced up to see Ian walking toward him, his camera slung around his neck and Clementine’s hand gripped in his. She pulled Ian the entire way, like a little dog on a short leash.
Chunk stopped and lowered his head, and Clementine hugged his face and gave him a kiss on his wide forehead before letting go.
“Hey, Pix.” Levi patted her back when she wrapped her arms around his leg.
“Me ride Chunky.”
“In a minute.” Levi turned his attention to Ian. He stuck out his hand for the other man to shake. “Thanks for watching her. I thought Olivia was on munchkin duty.”
Ian shrugged as if it were no big deal, even though Levi knew Ian had to have missed many shots of the rodeo while his friend babysat his kid. “One of the bulls came up lame, so Olivia had to meet with the vet.”
“Well, I owe you one. Hell, I think I owe everyone by now. You, Cora, Josephine, Olivia, and half of the regular competitors. Everyone has been so great pitching in when I’ve needed it. I’ve been trying to find a reliable babysitter, but so far that hasn’t proven easy.”
“That’s what friends are for. We’re here for each other.”
“Yeah, but this is more than letting me borrow a few bucks or checking on my horse.”
“She’s a terrific kid. We’re happy to help.”
Even though Levi couldn’t take the credit, his chest swelled with pride. “Yeah, she is kind of amazing.” Levi clapped Ian on the shoulder. “Well, thanks again. You better get going before you miss the good shots.”
“Will do.” Ian started walking away, then stopped and said, “Cora and I are having a little get together at our camper tonight after the rodeo. Bring the kid.”
Speaking of kids, Clementine was busy walking between Levi’s legs going around and around and around. He took her hand, and she leaned against it, one foot on the ground the other trying to climb up his leg. “Thanks. We’ll try to be there if Clementine isn’t too worn out.”
“One beer at least,” Ian insisted. “I’m sure a little adult company will do you good. Besides, you can always lay her down in my camper if she’s tired. And Olivia said she’d be there...”
Adult conversation. An adult beverage…and Olivia? An offer too good to pass up. “I’ll do that. Thanks.”
After Ian left, Levi grabbed Clementine up to peals of laughter as he swung her up and into his saddle, her new pink boots dangling on either side of his horse, her matching pink hat down low on her forehead.
Chunk’s ears turned backward waiting for her command. Clementine clucked, and Chunk took one cautious step and then another until Levi started walking. Who would have thought that the gelding that had taken extra-long to break because he had a bucking issue would treat his kid like precious cargo?
Back at the stalls after cooling Chunk down, Levi plopped Clementine on a bale of hay while he untacked and took care of his horse for the night.
She stood on the bale, shaking her booty to a song stuck in her head. If she was tired, she wasn’t showing signs of it yet, her natural night-owl shining through.
Hopefully when it came time to go to Ian and Cora’s, she’d be conked out.
He went to open Chunk’s stall, and Clementine said, “Lemme do it.”
She jumped down from the bale and reached for the door latch but was too short to reach. When he went to help, she batted his hand away
. “Me, me.”
Levi backed off a step and chuckled to himself. “Okay, Einstein, let’s see you figure this out.”
She jumped, but with a vertical leap of half an inch, it didn’t help much. Then she took her own step back and looked at the door then at the bale of hay beside it. She tried to slide the bale over, but only managed to grunt and groan and pull out stray strands of hay.
“You want help?”
She slid him a look. That same look Mae used to give him when he would ask a dumb question.
Then Clementine climbed back on the bale, grabbed the vertical bars at the top third of the stall, and using her hands and feet, slowly worked her way over to the latch, her booted feet slipping and sliding against the solid wood walls.
Clementine almost fell twice, but those skinny little arms were stronger than they looked. At the latch, she braced her feet and let go with one hand long enough to flip the latch open.
Then she jumped the two feet down, landing hard and falling on her butt. She rolled to her hands and knees and stood, wiping the dirt off on her dress. With two hands, she pushed on the sliding door. It stuck halfway, but it was enough for her.
She turned and hit him with a megawatt smile that lit the grin on his own face.
He gave her a fist bump. “Look at you.”
“Told you,” she said, full of sass and herself.
“Okay, back on the hay bale where it’s safe.”
She scrambled out of the stall, climbing on the bale, and staring through the bars. He never allowed Clementine in the stall with Chunk. Especially when the horse wasn’t haltered. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Chunk with Clementine. The horse had proven that he wouldn’t try to hurt her. But he was a thousand pounds of prey animal. If something spooked him, she could get trampled by accident and Levi wouldn’t take that kind of chance.
After topping off Chunk’s hay and water, Levi crouched down low enough for Clementine to climb onto his back and wrap her arms around his neck.