by Vicki Tharp
She hadn’t exactly been avoiding him. Mostly. Okay. Maybe on some level… But her personal issues were her business. “What are you talking about? Is the lack of sleep catching up to you? I see you every day. I help you with Clementine, I—”
“True.” He took a step closer. “Believe me, I appreciate the help. Having a three-year-old on the road isn’t easy.”
“That’s why I’m helping.”
“But this has nothing to do with that. You’ve hardly said two words to me that didn’t have to do with caring for Clementine. Am I really that bad of a person?” He said it with a grin, but the naked vulnerability lurked in his dark eyes.
She shook her head. She could admit that now. “That’s the problem.”
He laughed loud enough to wake Clementine, but she barely stirred. “You’ve completely lost me.”
She couldn’t look him in the eye, afraid he’d see the naked want she’d been trying to hide, but he put a finger under her chin and lifted her face to his. His thumb brushed against her bottom lip. Just a touch.
She needed to leave before she did something totally idiotic, like kiss him.
Or drag him into his camper and strip him naked.
“Tell me.” Part command. Part request.
Rising on her toes, she placed her hand behind his neck and pulled him in for that kiss. She’d gone in for a quick, light touch. A sample. A taste.
But Levi took it deeper. He didn’t devour her. He simply angled his head, a teasing touch of his tongue tracing the seam of her lips until she opened for him.
Their tongues touched, and she tasted the hops from his beer that somehow must have been more intoxicating than when it had been in the bottle because her head got light and the stars above began to spin.
A soft groan escaped his throat, and his hands traced down her sides and rested at the top of her ass.
What the hell was she doing? She broke the kiss. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—”
She backed away a few steps, hoping to be able to draw in a breath of fresh air, but they weren’t far from the Louisiana swamps, and the air was thick and heavy. At least that’s what she told herself because it was the only logical explanation for the tightness in her chest. “I’ll see you two tomorrow.”
Spinning on her heel, she tried to make her escape, but Levi’s big paw caught her again. “Oh no, you don’t. Not so fast.”
She stopped but didn’t turn around. “Let me go, Banks.”
He dropped his hand. “You can’t kiss me like that and run, leaving me to wonder what’s going on.”
Fine. She’d tell him. And when she was finished, he’d probably wish she hadn’t. She faced him. “I guess I’m confused. Or conflicted. Or hell, I don’t know. I really despised you for so, so long for leaving Mae, for abandoning your kid. These awful things Mae said about you were lodged in my head. And then when Randy dumped Clementine on you, those thoughts and preconceived notions I had about you are...are...shattered. I keep trying to pick up the pieces and somehow make sense of it all, but the pieces no longer fit back together, and I’m left with these thoughts in my head that don’t jive with what I see every day, from the way you’ve made Clementine your priority to the gentle way you reprimand her to the loving way you braid her hair when she wants to look like Josephine.”
She hadn’t noticed the way he’d moved closer as she spoke, the way his hands had gone to her upper arms and slid up and across to her shoulders where his fingers gently kneaded the tired muscles at the base of her neck until it was too late. He didn’t say anything, while he waited for her to spit the rest of what she had to say out.
“I guess what I’m trying to say is... You’re nothing like I’d expected. And I don’t know how to reconcile those two polar-opposite men in my brain.”
“I’m not asking you to give me a gold star, but I would appreciate the benefit of the doubt. You don’t owe it to me, but I’m asking for it just the same.”
She glanced up at him. No matter how good looking or sweet on his daughter he was, she didn’t need to get any more tangled up in their lives than she already was. “I want to help. That doesn’t make us friends.”
“Good.”
Did she hear him right? “Good?”
“Yes. Because what I feel can’t be labeled as ‘friendly.’ And neither could that kiss you laid on me.”
She stood up straighter. “Clearly, that was a mistake.”
His eyes didn’t flash with anger. They lit with mischief. He hitched his thumbs in the front pockets of his jeans and rocked back on his heels, his gaze never leaving her face as he appraised her. “Holy hell, Marsh. You’re into me.”
“Ha,” she scoffed because the words not only hit close to home, they landed a direct, obliterating hit. “Like I told you before, I’m not sleeping with you.”
“You will.” His eyes twinkled in the light as he pushed his cowboy hat farther up his head. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
* * *
Levi toweled off and pulled on a pair of freshly washed and starched Wranglers from the Lufkin Fluff and Fold. He glanced at his watch—an hour or so until Clementine’s grandparents showed up for lunch. He’d also bought them tickets to the rodeo later that night, in case they wanted to stay for the fun.
Bam, bam, bam. A fist pounded on his door, the cheap aluminum shaking in the jamb. “Mr. Levi, are you in there?”
He slid his arms into his shirt, his heart picking up an extra beat at the urgency in his babysitter’s voice. He pushed the door open. “Sophie, what’s wrong?”
The teen’s face lacked color, and she stood at his steps, wringing her hands.
At the same time that he asked, “Where’s Clementine?” she said, “Is Clementine with you?”
Levi stilled. “What? Why would she be with me? She’s supposed to be with you. That’s what I’m paying you for.”
“I know. I get that. I—I—”
Levi didn’t immediately panic. Kids got lost at the rodeo. It was fine. Clementine was fine.
Still, his heart dropped in his chest, and his breakfast considered a repeat appearance. He stomped down the steps as he buttoned his shirt. “What happened?”
“I—We—I mean—I’m so sorry Mr. Levi. I don’t know—”
Levi placed his hands on her upper arms and gave them a gentle squeeze. “Sophie, look at me.”
When she finally did, her eyes were glossy and rimmed with red. “Take a deep breath and tell me where you were the last time you saw her.”
“At the concession stands. She was thirsty, and I didn’t want her to have to walk to the water fountains by the rodeo office, so I sat her on one of the picnic tables and went to get her a cup of water. I turned around for a sec—”
That’s the information Levi needed. “Go to the rodeo office, have them announce a lost kid. Tell them what she’s wearing. I’ll go look for her.”
“Okay.” Tears fell. “I’m so sorry.”
Levi tramped down on his anger. At fourteen, Sophie was not much more than a kid herself. She wasn’t to blame.
He was.
“It’s not your fault. Go on now. Get to the office.”
“Yes, sir.” Sophie dried her face and took off at a dead run.
Levi jogged through the parking lot and pounded his fist on Josephine’s trailer. When she answered, he said, “Clementine’s missing from the concession stands. Can you help get the word out?”
“You go,” she said, “I’m on it.”
Levi had almost made it to the concession stands when the announcement about Clementine came over the PA system. He called out for his daughter, tamping down on the sense of unease. There were so many places at the rodeo that could be dangerous for little kids. If she’d found her way to the holding pens, she could easily slip into one of the paddocks with the steers, the bucking broncos, or even the bulls.
And he couldn’t even think about the chances of a stranger taking her. Though that early in the day, most everyone on t
he grounds was connected with the rodeo. The crowds wouldn’t show up until much later, so the chances of a stranger taking her were much less, but not zero.
As Levi scanned the concession area, Ian came running over. “You find her?”
“No. She couldn’t have gone far. Can you check the chutes? I’m headed to the holding pens.”
“I’m on it,” Ian said as he jogged away. He turned around after a few strides, “Hey, buddy, we’re gonna find her.”
“Yeah.” But as Levi searched under the picnic tables and concession stand trailers and made his way behind the main arena with no sign of his daughter, his apprehension rocketed toward panic.
He ran to the stockyard behind the main arena, his breath coming fast and his heart knocking against his sternum. His boots slipped in the muddy aisle. Lufkin had received much-needed rain in the few days leading up to the rodeo, and the uncovered pens and aisles had become a damn mucky mess.
The animals churned up mud in the pens as they slogged through, their hooves making sucking noises in the muck with each step. Olivia ran toward Levi from the opposite direction.
“I heard,” she said, the worry line between her brows digging deep. “I’ve checked the bullpens. She isn’t there.”
The constricting band around his chest loosened a fraction allowing him to breathe a little easier. “Check the bronc pens, I’ll check the steer pens.”
“I’ll meet you at the rear barn entrance.”
“See you there.”
They split up, and he carefully walked up and down the pens of steers packed so tightly with animals it was nearly impossible to check quickly.
At the last pen, he caught a flash of pink on the far side, covered in mud. It wasn’t moving. Without thinking, he hopped the fence, shoving through the filthy animals. He skidded to a stop, going down on one knee near the muddled mess of fabric, digging through the mud with his shaking hands.
No, no, no. God no.
He pulled the object free, turning it over, lifeless eyes opened, a mechanical “momma” whined from an internal speaker. A doll. A fucking doll.
Levi hung his head, and took three deep breaths, as the whoosha, whoosha of blood roared past his eardrums like water over storm-raged rapids. He stood, the limp doll dangling in his hand.
He wanted to toss it aside, but something inside him wouldn’t let him. A steer skittered by, stomping on his boot, and slamming a muck-encrusted rump into his thigh.
He slipped and slid through the pen, almost losing a boot a time or two on the way out. As quickly and thoroughly as he could, he checked the rest of the pens and met Olivia at the back entrance to the barn.
“Anything?” she asked as he walked up.
He glanced down at the doll in his hand and held it up, a strangled chuckle escaped. “I—I found this in one of the pens, I thought—” He cleared his throat, but the emotion dug in its claws and refused to let go.
Olivia’s hands went to her face. “Oh, God.” She closed the gap between them and wrapped him in her arms. “That must have been awful,” she said, her words muffled as he hugged her tight to his chest.
He didn’t say anything, because he couldn’t. Seeing the lifeless form of the doll in the mud was the most terrifying moment of his life.
“Clementine! Baby, where are you?” Josephine or Cora called out. From that distance, Levi couldn’t tell which.
Olivia took a step back and said, “We’re going about this wrong. This place is too big, and there are too many places to hide. Think. If you were her, where would you go if you could go anywhere?”
Levi gathered his thoughts and focused on Olivia’s words. If he were Clementine... “Chunk,” he said. “She’d find Chunk.”
He didn’t hesitate, he grabbed her hand, and together they ran through the barn to Chunk’s assigned stall. Levi’s heart stuttered, and his stomach dropped when he saw his horse’s stall door open enough for a curious three-year-old to slip through.
His horse’s head wasn’t visible through the bars. They slowed a few stalls away from Chunk’s. If Chunk was laying down and if his daughter was in the stall with him, he didn’t want to rush up to his horse and risk startling him.
Shoving the doll into Olivia’s hands, he walked up to the stall entrance, his pace slow and even. He glanced in at his dozing gelding laying on his sternum in a pile of fresh pine shavings in the center of his stall.
In the pocket between Chunk’s front and rear legs, lay a sleeping Clementine.
Olivia sucked in a startled breath and whispered. “Levi...”
“It’s okay,” he said into her ear, maybe more to comfort himself than her. “Chunk wouldn’t hurt her on purpose.”
He placed his hand on the stall door, ready to shove it open if he had to scramble to protect Clementine. “Hey, buddy,” he said to Chunk in a low, soothing voice.
Chunk’s eyes opened, and he let loose a startled snort. The horse shifted, stretching his front legs more out in front of him as if he were going to stand. “Easy now. Eaaasy.”
Chunk stilled, then settled back into the shavings with a huge sigh, swinging his big head around and sniffing at the sleeping Clementine. Levi eased the stall door open.
“I’m going to his head in case he tries to get up,” Levi said. “You slip in behind me and get Clementine.”
“Got it.”
Levi stepped in, keeping up a constant, soothing chatter to Chunk full of “easy does its” and “atta boys.” He squatted in front of his horse, taking the big head in his hands and putting it over his shoulder, scratching and scrubbing at the spots behind Chunk’s ears that his horse loved to have rubbed. Chunk huffed, and his eyes rolled.
“Go ahead,” Levi said. “He’s not going anywhere.”
Olivia stepped in, gathered up Clementine, and stepped out of the stall.
Levi dropped to his knees, patting his horse’s neck. “You’re a rock star, boy.”
When Levi stood, Chunk stretched his front legs in front of him and heaved himself up, shaking the loose shavings from his mane and forelock.
Clementine whined in Olivia’s arms as she woke up then welled up with tears. “I wanna sleep whiff Chunky.”
“Oh baby,” Olivia said, “You can’t sleep with the horses.”
“But he wuvs me,” Clementine wailed, her tears forming fat droplets on her cheeks, her face going a deeper shade of pink than her dress.
Levi tossed a thick flake of alfalfa into Chunk’s pen and slid the door closed. He reached for his daughter and said, “He does, Pix, but stalls aren’t for little girls to sleep in.”
Her breaths came in soft, hitching gasps, the tears still flowing. Olivia picked stray bits of shavings out of her hair. Then Clementine went still, and the crying abruptly stopped as she stared at something over Levi’s shoulder.
“Oh,” Clementine said, “A baby doll.” Then she put her little hands on either side of his face the way she did when she wanted to make sure he was paying extra close attention to what she was about to say. “Is that for me?”
Levi turned, and Clementine scrambled out of his arms. The doll lay in a muddy heap where Olivia had dropped it in front of the next stall over. Clementine squatted down and reached for one of the life-like hands, then stopped. She glanced back up at Levi, her little nose scrunched up. “Why she ucky?”
“I’ll get her,” Levi said. “You don’t want to get your new dress dirty.”
He picked up the doll by the one clean spot on her dress. “We’ll get her cleaned up, then you can play with her.”
“We will?” Olivia and Clementine said at the same time.
Clementine looked thrilled. Olivia looked doubtful and shook her head. She leaned in, whispering in his ear, “She’s got you gut-hooked.”
Then she stepped back and said, “Is there anything you won’t do for that kid?”
Levi chuckled, shaking his head. “Not a da—darn thing.”
5
“I still say this is a bad idea,”
Olivia muttered.
She and Levi sat in her truck in front of a local Lufkin diner with Clementine standing on the seat between them as they waited for Clementine’s grandparents to arrive.
“I can’t keep them from her.”
“You can. You should.”
“You said yourself that Randy would leave her with them for a night or two every now and then when he needed a break. I know Mae and her parents didn’t get along and I can appreciate the fact that she didn’t want our daughter to be raised by them, but seriously, they can’t be that bad.”
Olivia scoffed but didn’t bother saying anything. She had a feeling Levi would find out real soon how wrong he was.
A car pulled up beside them, a black, four-door coupe. The car freshly washed, the windows clean and free of smudges. Everything neat and clean and perfect.
“Is that them?” Levi asked.
“Yeah.” Olivia sighed. She really didn’t want to be here, but Levi had asked, and a part of her thought that letting him go alone would be like sending the lamb to slaughter. So, she came. Though now she felt more like Judas. “You owe me,” she said as she popped the door latch and stepped out of the truck.
Levi climbed out a few seconds later with Clementine in his arms. Olivia came around the front of the truck as the Jordan’s locked and closed their doors.
“Hello, again.” Olivia stood back and gave them a little wave. Even if she’d wanted to give them a hug, they weren’t the kind of people who welcomed it.
“Olivia.”
How one simple flat word could hold so much disdain, Olivia didn’t know. Maybe it wasn’t her aunt’s tone so much as the way the woman looked her up and down from the scuff on Olivia’s work boots to the men’s style shirt she wore. Olivia had packed for the rodeo ready to work, not to socialize.
Levi glanced from Mae’s mother to Olivia, as if unsure what to say. Even Clementine was unusually quiet. Then Levi shifted Clementine to his hip and stuck out his hand to Mae’s father. “Levi Banks, pleased to meet you, sir.”
“Clive Jordan,” Mae’s father shook his hand after a beat. “My wife, June.”