by Vicki Tharp
“He’s not happy here. I am. If I asked him to stay, he just might. And he’d make the best of it, for as long as he could. But he wouldn’t be able to do it forever. Eventually, being here would wear him down. And I don’t want him to resent me for asking that of him.”
“There’s more to life than the circuit. There’s home. There’s family. There’s the love of a good woman. That’s more than any man has a right to ask for.”
“Maybe, but it took you many, many years to realize that yourself. You can’t expect a man in the prime of his career to drop everything and get there overnight.”
15
By the time Levi had hung up the phone with his lawyer, Joe was back inside the house and getting Clementine changed for a trip into town. Levi and Olivia still had a lot of work to do to get ready to bring a replacement bull to the Santa Fe rodeo for the upcoming weekend.
Which was for the best. After his talk with his lawyer, Levi knew the decision that had been rolling around in his mind had to be made and made now if he was ever going to have a chance of keeping custody of Clementine.
He went outside to find Olivia hooking up the stock trailer to the newer truck. He finished directing her as she backed up to the hitch, then lowered the hitch onto the ball. “That’s it, we’re good.”
Olivia mashed her foot on the parking brake and cut the engine, while Levi attached the chains and the trailer lights.
“What did Reynolds have to say? Good news?” Olivia leaned against the tailgate.
“Maybe. He subpoenaed the records of the rehab facility and the psychiatric ward Mae had been in after her previous suicide attempt.”
“What do Mae’s medical records have to do with anything?”
“Maybe nothing. But Reynolds hopes that maybe he can find something in there, something the psychologists had found, or maybe something Mae had told them that might help the judge understand that Clive and June aren’t fit to be Clementine’s guardians.”
The bad news? The news he couldn’t bring himself to tell Olivia? As good of a lawyer as Reynolds was, he didn’t come cheap. His time, his investigation had already eaten up the retainer Levi had given him, and he was running on credit. Reynolds was a good man and was willing to work with Levi on the fees, but he didn’t work for free. Levi needed to come up with more money. Fast.
“That sounds promising, right?”
“It’s a start.”
“Did you decide which bull you’re going to send to Santa Fe to replace Toot Sweet?”
“Jettison’s the only one available. At least of the caliber they need for Santa Fe. He’s rested up. He should give the boys a good run for their money.”
Levi grinned. “I know a lot of bull riders who will be cursing your name.”
Olivia laughed. She hadn’t done enough of that lately. And he blamed himself for that.
“I’m good with that.” Then she looked at him. Really looked at him. “What is it?”
“I have a favor to ask you. One that I have no right to ask. You’ve already done so much for me.”
“You’re my husband. You’re allowed to ask me for favors.” Then she stepped closer and wrapped her arms around his neck. Her voice dropped, when she said, “Especially after that... um... favor you did for me last night.”
Levi groaned and snugged her up against him. “I don’t think it can be considered a favor when I enjoyed it as much as you did.”
“Still...”
Levi pressed his forehead to hers. “Let me take Jettison to Santa Fe.” When Olivia looked at him with open curiosity on her face, he added, “I know you’d prefer to stay here anyway. I thought I’d leave Clementine here, if that’s okay with you?”
“Of course. But what aren’t you telling me?”
Levi both loved and hated the easy way she read him. “I have things there I need to take care of.”
“Things?”
“I’ll tell you about it. When the time comes.” He hated being so cryptic, but if Olivia knew what he’d planned on doing, she’d try to talk him out of it. And the worst part was, he kind of wanted her to.
But at this time in his life, what he had to do wasn’t the same thing as what he wanted to do. But right now, his daughter mattered most.
It had grown dark by the time Levi had packed, and they’d loaded Jettison into the trailer. He said his goodbyes to Clementine, then took his suitcase and threw it into the tail bed.
Olivia followed him out of the house. “Be careful on the road. Stop when you get tired. It’s a long drive, but it’s not worth pushing it. Promise me you’ll stop and get a motel if you get too tired.”
Levi leaned against the truck and pulled her between his thighs. “I promise.” He brushed her hair out of her face, her skin soft beneath his hands. He leaned in, brushing his lips to hers. He wanted to drag her back into the guest room, crawl under the sheets with her, and not come up for air until morning.
They hadn’t spent a night apart in the last three weeks, and he’d come to look forward to their time alone each night. He was gonna miss that. Miss her. Miss them.
And of course, he’d miss Clementine. But that’s why he had to go. He had lawyer’s fees stacking up that he had to pay.
“You should go now,” he said. “You know how Joe gets if you let the supper he cooked get cold.”
“You should stay. At least long enough to get dinner.”
“I can grab something on the road. Don’t worry about me.” He gave her a pat on the ass and said, “Go on, now.”
She started backing up. “Call me when you get there. I don’t care what time it is.”
“I will.” Levi climbed into the truck and waited for her to disappear inside the house before he loaded his horse in the trailer behind the bull. He grabbed his saddle and the rest of his tack and tossed it into the pickup. Selling his tack and the best horse he’d ever owned wasn’t something he’d ever thought he would do, but with his kid’s future at stake, what kind of choice did he have?
* * *
After driving through the night and most of the next day with only a few stops along the way to fuel up and water and feed the animals, Levi finally arrived at the Santa Fe rodeo grounds. It was Thursday afternoon, and the grounds were beginning to fill up with arriving competitors.
Muscles and joints complained as he climbed stiffly out of the truck. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and trudged to the rodeo office to find a pay phone. He dreaded calling Olivia, not because he didn’t want to talk to her, but no doubt she’d discovered Chunk was no longer at the ranch. Selling his horse would hurt like hell, and he still didn’t trust her not to try to talk him out of it.
He dropped coins into the pay phone and dialed the ranch’s number. After a few rings, Olivia picked up.
“It’s me.”
There came an audible sigh over the line. “You made it?”
“Yeah. Hey, I don’t have a lot of time to talk right now. I still need to find Rusty, get Jettison off the trailer and taken care of, and find a place to crash for a few hours.”
“How’s Chunk?”
He loved how she got right to the point and called him on his bullshit. Still didn’t mean he wanted to talk about it. “He’s good. Look I—”
“Why didn’t you tell me you were taking him?” Her words held more curiosity than accusation. And perhaps a little hurt. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust her, it was that he didn’t trust himself not to go through with selling his horse.
“I don’t know,” he hedged. He had to clear his throat when it unexpectedly got tight. Damn. Selling Chunk was gonna be even harder than he’d expected. Unlike some competitors Levi knew, his horse wasn’t a means to an end. He’d raised him from a foal and put the time, the energy, the training, and the heart into making one of the finest bulldogging horses in the industry. More than that, Chunk was his friend. But now he had to choose between his horse and his daughter. It wasn’t Chunk’s fault that it wasn’t even a fair contest. “Tell Clement
ine I love her and miss her.”
He used to enjoy the long days and nights on the road going from town to town, from rodeo to rodeo, event to event. For the first time, after less than twenty-four hours on the road, he truly felt alone. He wanted to tell Olivia that he loved and missed her, too. But the words wouldn’t come. Probably for the best.
Their divorce was already going to be a bitch.
“I’ll tell her.”
The line buzzed and cracked as the silence dragged on. He didn’t want to hang up. Apparently, neither did she. Levi rested his forehead against the metal box surrounding the pay phone, listening to her breathe.
Finally, she said, “And Levi?”
“Yeah, boss?”
“Take care of yourself.”
Say it. Tell her you love her. He opened his mouth but saying those words wasn’t something he wanted to do over the phone. That was something he wanted to do in person. Especially for the first time. “You too.”
After he hung up, he went to the concession stand and bought a large, much-needed cup of coffee. A hand clamped down on his shoulder, and Levi startled, the hot coffee spilling over his hand.
“Oh, shit. I’m sorry, man.”
Levi shifted his coffee to his other hand and shook off the hot liquid. Turning, he found Tobias Navarro behind him. Toby had been one of the circuit’s top bull riders who’d almost had the life stomped out of him last summer by a bull so dangerous that many people thought it had no business being on the circuit. Levi and Toby had never been especially close, but they’d thrown back a few beers together in their time.
Levi wiped the spilled coffee onto his jeans and stuck his hand out. “Hey, Toby. It’s been a while.”
“Too long. Though any time away from the circuit seems too long. You know what I mean?”
“Tell me about it,” Levi said, even though for the first time, it didn’t feel like the truth. “You here for fun?”
“The best kind. The doctors finally cleared me to compete again.” Toby didn’t quite meet Levi’s eyes when he said it.
“That’s great. No one expected you back for at least a few more months.”
Toby got a sheepish smile on his face. “Yeah, well...”
Levi narrowed his eyes at Toby. “Those doctors didn’t really clear you, did they?”
“You know how doctors are. If I’d listened to everything the doctors said, I’d have been elected president of the knitting club years ago.”
“I hear you.” Levi really needed to see to the animals and catch a nap. He stuck out his hand again. “Good luck out there this weekend.”
“Thanks, man.”
Levi searched the stock pens behind the main arena and found Rusty filling a water trough for a pen of steers. He was quick to help Levi unload Jettison and Chunk and get them settled in for the night.
Afterward, Levi declined an invitation for a few beers at the bar and headed over to one of the side arenas where several of his old bulldogging buddies had been practicing their runs. But by the time he got there, the place was nearly deserted except for Cooter Craw and a young kid that had started bulldogging professionally earlier that year.
“Well, I’ll be,” Cooter said when Levi walked up to them. They exchanged handshakes and a one-armed hug. “How’s that daughter of yours?”
“She’s great, thanks for asking.” It felt strange that he didn’t have Clementine’s little hand in his or have to worry about keeping a close eye on her. It had become the norm so quickly that not having Clementine there made him feel out of sorts.
“Levi.” The kid tipped his hat. The kid had the best of everything. Top of the line boots and hat, a shiny new truck and trailer, and a dad willing to finance his kid through the circuit. The only thing the kid didn’t have was a top-notch horse.
“Jonas.” Levi clasped the kid’s hand. “Just the man I wanted to see.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“I’m going to dinner.” Cooter clucked and tugged on his horse’s reins. “See you two later.”
They said their goodbyes, and then Jonas said, “What can I do for you?”
“That offer you made me for Chunk a while back—”
“You mean that time when you laughed in my face and told me not only no, but hell no?”
Levi pushed his hat back farther on his head and returned Jonas’ smile. “That would be the time. You still interested?”
It was Jonas’ turn to laugh in Levi’s face. It came off high pitched. Jesus. Had the kid even hit puberty yet? “You’re kidding me, right?”
The smile slipped from Levi’s face. “I wish the hell I was, kid.”
Tall and lanky, Jonas crossed his arms over his narrow chest. Levi didn’t see how the kid could wrestle steers to the ground without snapping his toothpick arms in two. “Why do you wanna sell?”
Levi wasn’t getting into his personal life with a kid barely out of diapers. “If you don’t want him, say so. I’m sure any one of your competitors would love to have him.”
That Jonas was probably the only one, thanks to daddy’s money, who could afford to pay what Chunk was worth, was hopefully lost on him. Jonas really didn’t have to worry that the competition would buy Chunk out from under him, but the kid didn’t know that, and Levi wasn’t idiot enough to tell him.
“I’m interested. We could saddle him up right now and—”
“Naw,” Levi said, “I hauled him over from Texas. Let’s give him the night to rest.” Then Levi had an idea. “I tell you what. If you’re seriously interested, you can use him on your run tomorrow night. Let you see for yourself how he is when the money is on the line.”
Jonas’ wide smile exposed gaps between his front teeth you could drive a double-decker cattle trailer through. “How much?”
“You compete with him. Then we’ll talk numbers.”
“You got yourself a deal.” Jonas’ grin was genuine.
Levi’s fell flat and short, and there was this biting feeling in the pit of his stomach as if a rat were trying to gnaw his way out. He should have been thrilled he had someone interested in Chunk, not feeling queasy.
* * *
Sunday night after the bulldogging finals, Jonas and his father met Levi at Chunk’s stall. Jonas held onto Chunk’s reins as Jonas’ father counted hundred-dollar bills into Levi’s hand.
Chunk slept on the end of his reins, oblivious to the transaction that would change his circumstances.
Levi tucked the bills into his wallet and said, “If he doesn’t work out for you, you call me, okay? You don’t sell him on to anyone else.”
“No, sir,” Jonas promised. “You get rights of first refusal if I ever want to sell him. But I’m telling you, after tonight’s run, that ain’t gonna happen.”
Jonas’ father clapped his son on the shoulder. “Between the horse and those pointers, you gave Jonas, he’s really got potential. I can see it.”
Having a personal best was far from winning checks, but the kid had the drive, the ambition, and that spark that said he wouldn’t stop until he made it to the top. Now what the kid needed was more muscle and experience. Both of which would come with time.
“Think about what I said for the offseason.” Jonas’ father shook Levi’s hand. “I’d love to send Jonas to you for a few weeks of one-on-one instruction if you can spare the time.”
“I’ll keep it in mind.” Levi reached up and ran his fingers through Chunk’s forelock, his gelding’s…no. Jonas’ gelding’s eyes opened half-mast, that lazy, after-competition-haze having settled in. He hugged that big, blocky head to his chest and whispered in Chunk’s ear. “I’m sorry, buddy.”
Levi gave a wane smile to Jonas and his father and turned on his heel before he could throw the money back at them, load his horse in the trailer, and find another way to pay his lawyer’s fees.
But there wasn’t another way, so Levi kept walking.
He wandered aimlessly around the concourse until it was time for the bull riding. He caught up with I
an around the chutes. Levi climbed onto the top of the empty chute beside his friend.
Ian took one look at Levi and said, “I was going to ask if you’d sold Chunk already, but one look at your face and I know the answer.”
“And here I thought I was hiding it so well.”
“I’m sorry, man. If Cora and I had any money—”
“Don’t,” Levi said. “I appreciate it. I really do. But this is my problem. And Chunk’s just a horse, right?” Levi’s voice cracked, and suddenly he didn’t sound so tough.
“Sure.” By Ian’s tone, he didn’t believe it for one second either.
Someone wolf-whistled, catching Levi and Ian’s attention. Ian put his camera to his eye and started snapping. From under the concourse came a tall redhead decked out in her chaps and hat with a bull rope slung over her shoulder.
“Hey beautiful, if you want something to ride, I’m right here,” a bull rider Levi hadn’t seen before said.
The woman kept walking toward the first chute—the one Jettison had been loaded into—ignoring the idiot’s comments.
“Who the hell is that?” Levi asked.
“Belle Brock. The circuit’s newest bull rider.”
“No shit?”
“You can’t make this stuff up. But hey, more power to her. I guess the rodeo commission—with a little help of a lawsuit—has decided she has as much right to be stomped into the dirt by the bulls as the next guy.”
“That woman’s gotta have a heavy set of balls.”
“That ain’t even the half of it. The bulls aren’t what she has to worry about. It’s those assholes who don’t think she belongs there.”
One of those assholes jumped down from one of the chutes and landed in front of her.
She stopped. “If you’ll excuse me.”
“Not so fast, lady.”
“I’ve got a ride.”
“Not until after you pay the toll.”