by Ann Simas
Father Riley and Jack glanced at each other with startled expressions, then the priest said, “Who put that idea into your head? Surely Phil wouldn’t have made a mistake about something like that.”
“Clem’s father asked, and even though I assured him I’d verified it, now I can’t get the possibility out of my head.” Andi drummed her fingers on the tabletop. “How can you be so certain Phil wouldn’t make a mistake? He relies on the people who work for him, right? Stuff happens, even in an automated process like cremation.” An example came quickly to mind. “Don’t forget that after Sherry’s cremation, the grinder broke down and she was put in a box and stored on a shelf. If we hadn’t gone in there asking about her, she might still be there.”
“Dear God,” Father Riley murmured. “Perhaps I should call over there now and confirm what he told me.”
“He doesn’t work on Sunday, does he?”
“No, of course, you’re right. That’s the one day he takes off.”
Andi knew of only one surefire way to be sure, if they couldn’t confirm the accuracy of the cremation with the mortuary today. “After we eat, I’m going to the office for a while.”
Jack got that cop look on his face again. “Andi—”
“Don’t ‘Andi’ me, Jack! It’ll be broad daylight. You and Riley are heading over to Dell’s for the game and I don’t meet up with Mom and Natalie until later. It won’t hurt me to go back and question Clem, if I can. Time’s a wastin’.”
Whether because he knew better than to argue with her or because he had no argument to give, Andi didn’t know, but Jack dropped it except to say, “Okay, but call me if you learn anything I need to know right away.”
The timer on the oven dinged.
By mutual agreement, conversation over the meal of homemade lasagna was non-murder-related.
. . .
Andi expected Orion’s Belt to be empty, so she was surprised when she discovered the janitorial van parked outside. Of course, they had to clean sometime.
She let herself in and went straight to her office, where she grabbed the full wastebasket from under her desk and set it outside the door for the cleaning crew. To ensure privacy, she closed the door and for the first time since she’d started working at the Belt, she locked it.
She summoned Clem, with no success. Given that she was there, she decided to turn on her computer and work for the two hours she had until it was time to meet her mom and Natalie at the theater.
With Bunnicula on its way, she might make a start on Harvey, or at least put down some preliminary notes. Taking a cue from the giant invisible rabbit made famous by Jimmy Stewart in a ’50’s movie of the same name, she decided to experiment with the Wild Hare becoming invisible.
When she next glanced at the clock on her wall, it was nearly four. Still no Clem. If she really wanted to talk to him, she’d have to be forceful. “Clem, can you hear me? Are you there?”
No smoke, no nothing.
“C’mon, Clem. Time’s growing short. If you want me to help you, you’ve got to help me, too.”
Still no response.
Resigned to failure and more than a little irritated with him, she was willing to try just once more. “Clem, you’re really starting to piss me off.”
And just like that, the place filled with the noxious smoke she’d come to associate with Clem.
You’re lucky I’m dead, Andi.
Surprised he hadn’t greeted her with his usual I’ve done something bad…, she nonetheless retorted with, “Don’t be snarky.”
Snarky? Is that really even a word?
“Yes. Look it up in your other-worldly dictionary, if you don’t believe me.”
You’re a laugh a minute, Andi.
“Thanks. Look, I don’t have a lot of time, so I’ll get right to the punch line. Are you really Clem Naylor?”
A incredulous laugh sounded in her head. Who do think I am?
“This isn’t a knock-knock joke.”
It is if I make it one.
Andi’s temper flared. “I’m dead serious here. Are you Clem or not?”
Chapter 24
Andi waited,impatient for his reply. “Dammit, answer the question!”
I’m thinking.
“You have to think about who you are?”
It’s your fault. I never doubted it until you asked me.
“What?”
All I’m saying is that I thought I was Clem, but if you’re questioning that I am, then maybe I’m not.
Andi found herself flummoxed. “Please don’t speak in riddles.” How could he not know who he was? “Are you serious, or are you jerking my chain again?”
You wound me, Andi. when have I jerked your chain?
“Several times, by my count.”
Come back tomorrow when you’re calm and sane. I’ll have an answer for you then.
“No, you’ll tell me right now. If you don’t, I’m done helping you.”
Oh, for God’s sake, of course I’m Clem! Who else would I be?
Andi threw out the only other male names she knew to be connected to Clem.
He belted out more laughs.
They were so raucous, Andi slapped her hands over her ears, which, of course, did nothing to deaden the sound. “Please, get serious. I want to ask you a few more questions and I need truthful answers.”
If you think I lie to you, why bother?
If he’d been alive, Andi would have shaken him until his teeth rattled.
Like you could, the dead Clem said, reading her thoughts again. I was a good six inches taller and fifty pounds heavier than you when I roamed the living. Now, shoot away. I have nowhere else to be at the moment.
Andi pulled out her list and tackled the questions one at a time. “Okay, here goes. If the hitman isn’t able to kill Denise on Monday, will he walk away or will he pick another day to do it? His text message did say she was going to die, no matter what and that he’d been paid in full.”
I already told you, I never paid the balance owing. Also, as I mentioned before, I told him no later than February eighth. How the heck am I supposed to know if he’ll actually do what I hired him to do, even though I’m dead, or if he’ll try it later than that?
“Why did you give him an end date?”
After several moments of silence, Clem went on. You know, I’m not sure, except that I had it in the back of my mind that maybe I wasn’t doing the right thing, after all. Maybe Denise should get a second chance.
There were so many holes in that explanation, it could have been a sponge. Andi decided to pursue it later. “Are you sure you don’t know who else might have paid him in full for the hit? You never mentioned what you intended to do to anyone else?”
No I never did. Did you ask my partners? Maybe they were having me followed.
“That doesn’t make sense, because you never met The Liquidator in person.”
I did meet him at the church, remember?
“So you’re saying someone, maybe your partners, could have followed you there?”
I don’t know, am I?
Andi belatedly realized Clem was taking her on another wild goose chase. “I’ll be sure Jack knows to ask your partners when he meets with them.” She took a breath and planted a seed of her own. “Do you think it’s possible Denise somehow learned about the hit and retaliated?”
You think Denise killed me?
God, did he have to answer every question with a question of his own? “I guess we’ll find out for sure when the ME gets the tox report back.”
Are you crazy? Denise would never do anything like that!
“What if Denise was having an affair, just not when you suspected?”
You’re saying my wife cheated on me at another time?
“Chill! I’m speculating, okay? That’s how I find answers. Why were you going to meet with Seth and Marianne Deacon?”
How the hell did you find out about that?
“It was on your work and personal calendars.” She p
aused for effect. “You admit it was them, then, but what I want to know is why? Denise says you hardly knew them.”
Do you believe everything Denise tells you?
“No, as a matter of fact, I don’t. Was she lying about how well you knew the Deacons?”
What makes you think I wasn’t meeting with the deacons at the church?
“What makes you think I just got off the turnip truck? Why would you meet with the church deacons when you’d resigned your deaconship?”
Who told you that?
God, if he wasn’t already dead, she be tempted to help him get there!
Lucky for you that I am, toots. I don’t think you’d like life in the slammer.
Andi muttered an expletive under her breath and decided to forego the next two questions regarding negative contact with spirits, or experiencing repercussions from those on the other side. No sense giving him any ideas if he didn’t have them already.
She really was going to have to work on blocking her thoughts.
Good luck with that.
“Focus on my questions, not what I’m thinking,” she shot back, irritated. “Back to a previous question. Do you think it’s possible Denise was having an affair and the painting teacher was giving her an alibi out of friendship?”
You’re kidding me! I thought you verified what I told you about the painting.
Andi hadn’t, but Stacy had, and so had Preston Kido. “Okay, then, to give you equal time, did you ever cheat on Denise?”
You think I’d tell you if I did?
“Actually, no, but I was hoping you’d grow a pair and give me a truthful answer for once.”
You wound me, Andi. Have I not been truthful with you on everything you’ve ever asked?
“Really? You want me to give you some examples of how you’ve stretched the truth?”
Move on, will you?
“What kind of monkey business will the forensic accountant find when he exams the books for Benz Giustina and Naylor?”
I’d tell you if I could, but the only thing I know for sure is that he will find something and it ain’t gonna be pretty. One or both of my partners have been screwing the pooch, so to speak.
“Where did Gus and Vince stand, in terms of the expansions and acquisitions they were promoting that you didn’t approve of?”
Guess we’ll find out when the forensic accountant makes his report, won’t we?
Just when she thought he’d finally given up answering a question with a question, he’d done it again. Andi ground her teeth together in frustration. “Is Dex Moran real or not?”
I have no idea, but since that’s the name I was given for The Liquidator, I have to assume he’s not Memorex.
“When did Davis MacLeary die?”
Not soon enough, as far as I’m concerned. Would you be surprised to learn I hated that prick’s guts?
“For how he treated Denise?”
Hell, no, for what he did to Helen.
Andi mentally reviewed her name list of those involved and the lines connecting them. She’d shown Davis MacLeary connected to Denise, not Clem, and now Clem seemed to have some connection to Helen MacLeary? What the heck? She did a rapid reconnection of dots. “Is Helen the woman you were having an affair with, or was it Marianne?”
No answer.
“Ah, I see. Both of them. That must have been complicated, especially if the affairs ran simultaneously. Why was it okay for you to screw around on Denise, but not vice versa?”
Don’t you know that when you assume, Andi, it makes an ass out of you and me?
“I don’t have a choice when you answer every question I have with another question.”
That’s the upside of being dead. Kinda pisses you off that you can’t do anything about it, doesn’t it?
“I could walk out of the building and across the street.”
You could.
Andi shut down her computer and snapped her journal shut. She shoved it and her stash of stapled papers into her purse and stood to pull on her coat.
Running away?
Andi pulled on her scarf. “Do your parents know about all the shenanigans you were up to?”
You do know that people aren’t always what they seem, don’t you, Andi?
“I know you aren’t! Why does Denise minimize that you talked to her about work stuff?”
She never understood all the ins-and-outs of it, that’s why, but she listened because I told her that one day she might damned well need the information.
That stopped Andi for a minute because, in light of what was going on, it made perfect sense.
She also knew that whatever we talked about between us, it was confidential. You know what that means, don’t you? Just between me and her.
That made sense, too, but now that Clem was dead, wasn’t the confidentiality issue dead, as well?
Denise took it seriously when I asked her not to talk about my work issues with anyone.
“Obviously.” The thing was, Andi’s mind kept going back to Denise downplaying what she knew about her husband’s company. She was a bright woman and from everything she’d told Andi, she understood Clem’s business dealings perfectly. Why would she let Clem believe otherwise?
Good question. Why don’t you ask her?
Anxious for the Q&A to be over, Andi had one additional query before she headed off to meet her mom and sister. “Tell me why your wife isn’t freaking out because you hired someone to kill her.”
Yowzaa! That’s a million-dollar question, isn’t it, Andi?
“Are you going to confirm that you had affairs with Helen and Marianne?”
Hell no!
What did that mean? Hell no, he hadn’t, or hell no, he wasn’t going to confirm it?
Before she could ask, Clem vanished in an unseen poof of smoke, leaving Andi to wonder if he’d had time to read one last, not-very-nice thought on her mind.
. . .
Andi arrived at Orion’s Belt literally at the crack of dawn the next morning. Hyped with anticipation over the possibility of gleaning relevant information from the Deacons, she forced herself to be productive in the hours leading up to the scheduled cremation. By noon, when she devoured a sandwich she’d brought from home, Harvey and his invisibleness had started to look promising.
As the two o’clock hour approached, she responded to text messages from Jack and Father Riley. Though their emotions couldn’t possibly have reached the peak hers had, she knew they were still on pins and needles. She promised, again, to notify them the minute the communication with the Deacons was over.
Andi put up the DO NOT DISTURB sign she rarely used on her door at 1:55. Never having faced two murdered Smokies at once before, she wasn’t quite sure what to expect. Imagine what poor Phil had gone through, trying to figure out the logistics of cremating them together. Had he done something similar for Gene Kirkland and his two boys?
In anticipation of her brain or her mouth malfunctioning when the Deacons passed through, she had compiled yet another list of questions, just to be on the safe side.
At 2:28, the scent of smoke wafted into her consciousness. She decided to let the Deacons take the lead.
You’ve been waiting for us, Seth said, getting right to the point.
You must have a million questions, Andi, Marianne chimed in. I know we certainly do. This being dead is going to take some getting used to.
Andi asked the first question that popped into her mind. “Do you know who killed you?”
Seth chuckled. It wasn’t Clem, if that’s what you’re thinking.
Seth did consider killing Clem when he thought Clem was having his way with me, though.
Andi couldn’t help but be amused by Marianne’s rather quaint turn of phrase.
Seth belted out a laugh. I knew he’d never get to first base with you, dearest. Your heart belongs only to me.
For eternity, my love, his wife agreed.
“Back to the original question,” Andi said, hoping these two weren’t goi
ng to adopt Clem’s annoying habit of answering questions with questions.
A heavy sigh preceded Seth’s response. I can’t say for certain, except that it was two people.
A man and a woman, Marianne added. At least I think it was.
Seth agreed. Perhaps I’m not supposed to hold ill will against them for cutting our lives short now that we’re on our way to the Pearly Gates, but dammit, I wanted a chance to get to know my grandchildren!
Marianne sniffled. So did I! This simply isn’t fair.
“What happened?”
We thought we were meeting Clem. We hadn’t heard about his sudden death, you know. We’d been out of town and when we returned, we had a message on our answering machine saying he planned to stop by.
“Was it Clem calling?”
No, it was a woman, though neither of us recognized the voice.
We were exhausted, Marianne said. We’d just spent fifteen hours flying and we wanted nothing more than to climb into bed and get some sleep.
The meeting time was less than half and hour away, so we decided to get it over with.
“Did you know why he wanted to see you?”
Seth grunted. No, but we gathered it was about the investment property in Dubai. We’d just spent two days looking it over and we weren’t as convinced as his partners that is was a good deal.
“What did Clem think?”
We weren’t sure, Marianne said.
We’d always dealt directly with him on our investments, but this time, Benz and Giustina came at us directly, without Clem’s knowledge. He belted out a grunt. Did they think we wouldn’t discuss it with the person we’d been working with for years?
“Years?” Andi parroted.
Marianne went on, as if she hadn’t heard her. We got the impression they were circumventing him, didn’t we, Seth?
Yes. I suppose that’s why we didn’t think it unusual for Clem to set up a meeting with us.
“I thought you’d had a falling out with Clem over another investment deal.”