Strolling along the dimly lit path in the quiet of the late-night campus, musing about the interaction, she stopped short. Not only had the blonde captivated her at first sight as Darcy had, but the sexual longing burning through her was even stronger than she’d felt for Darcy. She shivered, anxious all of a sudden. The intensity of her response to the young woman brought up painful memories of losing Darcy. She couldn’t go through that again. Maybe it was better the blonde had left without speaking to her. Maybe she wouldn’t track her down. Maybe she’d leave it be. She started walking again and swiveled as she became aware of someone running behind her. The campus was generally safe but she was always careful. She waited to deal head-on with whoever was racing toward her. “Oh.”
Face-to-face with the blond, green-eyed beauty, Renee, the suave lover of women, called Doña Juana by the women in her class, was tongue-tied. Was it her imagination or did the woman glow and did her smile brighten the path?
Seeming unaware of her effect on Renee, the woman touched her arm. “Hi, I’m Constance Martindale. I wanted to tell you how moved I was by your singing. I love your voice and your guitar playing is fantastic.” She took a few breaths and not getting a response continued. “Is it all right if I walk with you?”
In the thrall of that smile Renee forgot her anxiety. Who could resist that gorgeous, upper-class English accent combined with something like a cat’s purr? She glanced behind Constance. No entourage. She opened her mouth and hoped her voice wouldn’t fail her. “Thank you, Constance, I’m happy you enjoyed my self-indulgent concert.” She bowed slightly. “I’d love for you to walk with me. I’m Renee Rousseau.”
“I know,” Constance said, her voice so low it was almost a whisper.
Renee was thrilled Constance had made the effort to find out her name. So maybe she’s not straight. Or not so straight.
It had been an hour, but it seemed like only a few minutes had passed when Constance stopped in front of her apartment building. For the first time since they’d started walking, there was an uncomfortable silence between them. Renee didn’t want the night to end. “So…”
Constance stared at the ground and then met Renee’s eyes. “So I’m having a wonderful time with you. I’d prefer to keep walking unless you’re tired.”
“Sure.” Renee struggled to contain the part of her that wanted to shout and jump up and down. She adjusted the guitar on her back. “I’d like that too.” She took Constance’s hand.
They ambled for hours, talking, teasing, and laughing. Dawn was breaking the second time they stopped in front of Constance’s apartment building. She took both Renee’s hands in hers and looked into her eyes. “Meet me for brunch later?”
Renee felt a slight tremor in Constance’s hands, saw the vulnerability in her eyes and heard it in the softness of her voice. Constance’s shy and uncertain invitation in that sexy voice touched Renee. She felt protective of her. And anxious again. Her attraction to Constance, as with Darcy, was intellectual as well as physical. She’d enjoyed their exchange of ideas enormously. Constance made her think and laugh and feel things she hadn’t felt for a long time. Part of her wanted to run. “I’d love to. Where? When?”
Constance flashed a brilliant smile. “Here at noon?”
That smile was dangerous. She was sure it could launch the proverbial thousand ships, and if a woman wasn’t careful, it could cause her to fall in love. She couldn’t help smiling back.
It was strange. Women came onto Renee all the time, but usually all they wanted was sex. And she was usually happy to oblige. When she initiated contact, the only invitation she issued was for casual sex. Meals were spent with friends or the occasional casual affair that lasted more than a week or two. Yet she’d accepted Constance’s invitation to brunch, really enjoyed the time at an off-campus café, and not ready to separate from her after, proposed they walk to digest. That walk morphed into a walking and talking marathon. Renee was again amazed at how quickly the time passed, how easily the conversation flowed, how many issues they discussed, and how much she enjoyed the connection. She was so totally into Constance, she barely thought of sex, except, of course, for the many times the touchy-feely Constance held her hand, ran a finger down her arm, squeezed her thigh, rubbed her shoulder or brushed her cheek.
She took Constance to dinner at her favorite Italian restaurant, Guido’s, a homey place she reserved for friends because it felt too personal for casual sexual partners. The lighting and music were soft but not romantic, there was enough space between tables to ensure a private conversation, and the food was delicious. The dinner felt intimate and connected. Later, in front of Constance’s apartment building, Renee was uncharacteristically indecisive. She wanted to kiss Constance, but it would mean an end to the night. And what if kissing Constance scared her off? It might mean an end to their connection. Surprising herself, she blurted out an invitation. “I’m planning to study in the library tomorrow. Would you like to join me?”
Constance touched Renee’s cheek. “Only if you’ll have brunch with me again.”
Renee bowed. “I’d love to, Lady Constance.”
“How do you know?” Constance frowned. “Is that why—”
Renee placed a finger on Constance’s lips. “When I was looking for you at the party last night, someone told me you’re the daughter of an Earl so I should call you Lady. Believe me a title means nothing to me. It’s you, Constance the person, who means something. I love being with you. You’re brilliant and fun and lovely and sexy and so much more.” Renee stopped, surprised to hear herself say those things to Constance. They were true but she felt exposed.
Constance stared at Renee as if trying to see into her soul. “All right, brunch tomorrow.”
Walking back to her apartment, Renee replayed the events of the last twenty-four hours. What was she doing with Constance? She was on fire with desire yet she hadn’t made a move to get her into bed. She told herself it was because of her straight woman rule, but deep down she knew that wasn’t it. She was enjoying getting to know Constance, and to her surprise, enjoying the delayed gratification. Being with Constance was exhilarating. She hadn’t been this into someone for a very long time. Her impulsive invitation to study in the library came out of fear, fear of losing Constance if she let her go without definite plans to see her again soon. That she was afraid to lose Constance after just one day was scary. Maybe she should cut her losses and run now. On the other hand, maybe she should give them more time to… She grinned where her mind took her, more time to come together. Damn she could be a pig sometimes, but, happily, she rarely had to deal with delayed gratification, so it didn’t happen too often.
Constance’s vulnerability around the title issue touched her and confirmed her instinct to let Constance take the lead. It must be awful not being sure why someone befriended you. She’d told Constance the truth. She didn’t give a rat’s ass about her title. It was her mind and her body she was after.
Late the next morning, Renee led them to another of her private places, a restaurant she usually went to when she wanted to be alone. The food was good and the open, bright atmosphere conducive to thinking or studying. It was a perfect backdrop for the challenging discussions she and Constance had been having. As they ate their waffles, eggs, and fruit, they debated the English vs. American political system and the role of the royal family. The exchange of ideas flowed easily from topic to topic and continued on the leisurely walk to the library after brunch.
In a brief moment of silence, Constance cleared her throat. “I’ve heard stories about you. With women.” Renee leaned in close to hear. She’d noticed that when they discussed ideas and issues, Constance’s voice was strong, but when she was feeling unsure, her voice was soft, almost a whisper.
Could it be Constance didn’t know she was a lesbian? Renee steeled herself for rejection. “All true, I’m sure. I’m a lesbian. I prefer sex with no strings. And, I date a lot of women but only one at a time. Most of my, um, encounters last a wee
k or two.” She always put it out there up front and Constance needed to hear it.
“Let’s sit.” Constance pulled Renee to a bench under a sprawling tree. She looked into the distance and cleared her throat again. “I’ve kissed a few guys and two girls but I’ve never wanted to have sex with any of them. I’m very attracted to you and I was wondering…”
Renee imagined it was embarrassing for her to be this direct. “Are you asking me whether I would like to have sex with you?”
“Yes.” Constance met her eyes. “Do you find me at all attractive?”
Renee took hold of Constance’s hands and swiveled so they were facing each other. “I find you gorgeous in mind and body. I’m not only attracted, I’m fascinated and intrigued by you. And to say I’m dying to take you to bed is a gross understatement.”
Constance’s eyes widened and her body relaxed. “Really?”
“Really.” Renee squeezed Constance’s hands. “But did you hear the part about no strings? And many short-term sexual partners?”
Constance smiled her glorious, brighten-up-the-day smile. “I heard every word you said and it fits perfectly with my needs. I’ll be going back to London after I graduate at the end of this semester so short term is good.”
Renee’s gut told her she wouldn’t get her fill of Constance in a week or two, but Constance’s schedule imposed a time limit. At most two months. It fit perfectly with Renee’s desire for sex with no strings. “Why do you want to have lesbian sex?”
Constance fidgeted with Renee’s fingers. Then she lifted her eyes and captured Renee’s gaze. “I don’t want lesbian sex. I want sex with you. I can’t seem to get you out of my mind. I’m on fire just being near you. Like right now I’m dying for you to kiss me.”
Renee only got involved sexually with women she liked, women she would like as friends. She always made the terms of the arrangement clear up front to avoid hurting them, but, nevertheless, she often suffered through tearful, painful endings. Some women became friends. Others needed distance. Constance was a virgin. And vulnerable. There was a fine line between giving Constance what she clearly wanted and the damage Renee might inflict if only a week or two of sex with Constance was enough. The last thing she wanted was to cause Constance pain, so she had to be sure Constance understood the terms of any sexual encounter. “So you want a casual relationship. Short term. No forever. Just great sex?”
“Yes, Renee. No forever. Just great sex.” Her lips quirked.
Constance was humoring her but this was serious business. Should she go with her desire for Constance or her fear of hurting her? Wait. Why was she thinking she should make this decision for Constance? She was an adult so let her decide. “What if I break your heart?”
“What if I break your heart?” Constance kissed the tips of Renee’s fingers. “I know exactly who you are, Renee. I’ll gladly take the risk.” She caressed Renee’s face. “I appreciate your concern for me, but trust me, I know what I want. And I think you want it too. Can we skip the library?”
Renee stood and bowed. “At your service, Lady Constance.” Renee’s apartment was closer so that’s where they went.
In her bedroom, Renee cupped Constance’s face between her hands and gazed into her eyes. “Remember we can stop any time.”
Constance stroked Renee’s face. “I’m nervous, but I want this with you, Renee.”
Renee took Constance’s hands and kissed both palms. “I want you too.” And she did. But she was aware that her desire for sex was overshadowed by something she had not felt for many years: a desire to cherish. Above all, she wanted to make Constance’s first time beautiful and memorable, as hers had been.
She kissed Constance tenderly and slowly undressed her, taking time between each garment to caress and kiss the soft skin and sensitive places she uncovered. Constance was shy, but responsive to Renee’s touch and her lips and tongue. When she was naked, she didn’t flinch as Renee gazed at her body, appreciating her. “Still okay?”
“Yes.”
Renee undressed quickly, led Constance to the bed and covered her with her body. Constance moaned softly at the skin-to-skin contact and wrapped her hands around Renee, pulling her closer. Renee gazed into her eyes, and finding no fear or anxiety, kissed her forehead, her eyes, her cheeks, her nose, and lightly brushed her lips. Then she kissed her deeply for a long time while running a hand down her side.
Constance moaned as Renee slid off her. “I’m not going far, sweetheart,” Renee whispered in her ear. “I want to touch you and make love to you, if that’s still what you want.”
“Yes. Please. I do.” Constance turned her head to find Renee’s lips.
Renee’s hand brushed Constance’s breasts, and surprised to find them so sensitive, she broke their kiss to place her mouth on a nipple. As she gently sucked, Constance arched a few inches off the bed and moaned appreciatively. Renee grinned. One erogenous zone identified. While Constance writhed in response to Renee’s mouth and lips and tongue loving her breasts, Renee’s hands roamed over Constance’s body, rubbing circles on her stomach, teasing her inner thighs, and squeezing her butt cheeks. It turned out Constance was one big erogenous zone. She was also a fast learner. Before long her hands were in Renee’s hair and her mouth and tongue and lips were returning the favors. The easy transition from passive to active participant surprised Renee and stoked the already high flames of her desire. But this was about Constance. And fearing Constance would orgasm before she had time to properly make love to her, Renee backed off to check in again. Glassy-eyed, Constance clutched her. “Please don’t stop.”
Renee kissed her, then slid down and parted her legs. Constance raised her head and locked onto Renee’s eyes. Renee slid a finger in. Constance’s eyes widened. Renee slid a second finger in. Constance gasped. “Renee,” she whispered, and threw her head back on the pillow. Renee lowered her head and used her tongue, lips and mouth to pleasure Constance while easing her fingers in and out. Constance’s breathing, her escalating moans, and her writhing body signaled she was close to the edge. It didn’t take long for her to fall over the cliff, screaming Renee’s name. Renee’s orgasm followed quickly, and then she crawled up and cradled Constance in her arms while they both dozed.
When Renee opened her eyes, Constance was staring at her. “Thank you, Renee. I… That was even more wonderful than I imagined.” She touched Renee’s face. “And believe me, I have a vivid imagination.”
Renee smiled. “So you like lesbian sex?”
Constance looked beautiful and sexy and turned on. “If that was lesbian sex, I love it. And, I want to do it again and again. As often as I can.”
Renee traced Constance’s eyebrows, her cheek, her jaw, her lips. “You are a very sexy woman. Are you sure this was your first time?”
“It was embarrassing to admit that, Renee. Why would I say it if it wasn’t true? Why do you ask?”
“I’ve been with women with tons of experience who are so guarded they barely allow themselves to come. But you were so open and responsive the sex was a joy.”
“Thank you.” Constance flushed. “But I haven’t made proper love to you and I’m not sure what to do.”
“You turn me on so much that I came making…listening to you come.” Renee put two fingers under Constance’s chin and lifted her head. “There are no rules, no right or wrong, Constance. What you were doing before was wonderful. Touch or do whatever you want, wherever you want and if I need something else, I’ll let you know.” And they were off. They spent the next day and night in bed, then went to classes, then came back together in the evening. And that was how they spent most evenings and weekends for the next two months.
Knowing the relationship was time limited had set Renee free. She didn’t check her feelings at the door as she normally did. She relaxed and enjoyed Constance. To her surprise, the relationship was intense, her feelings for Constance deeper than any she’d had before. And, the relationship lasted right up to Constance’s departure. Oddly, a
s Constance had predicted, she broke Renee’s heart.
Thinking back to their younger selves, Renee acknowledged she had fallen for Constance early on but hadn’t let herself know it. When she realized she was in love with Constance, she got scared and was ready to run. But Constance beat her to it. Now they had a second chance and she planned to get to know Constance again, to see whether there was still more than the sexual connection between them.
Chapter Seven
On the way to the restaurant to meet Constance, everyone Renee passed smiled at her. She thought it was strange until she caught a glimpse of herself in a store window and noticed the huge grin on her face. No question she was excited about seeing Constance again. Despite what Constance had intimated about Renee only being interested in her for sex, it was her intellect, her well-thought out arguments, the ideas she expressed, and her rapier wit that had drawn Renee to her in their twenties. Of course, her gentleness, her beautiful face, her curvaceous body, her enthusiasm in bed, and her low-thrummed voice and British accent didn’t hurt.
Ready for Love Page 6