by D. M. Turner
“I won’t argue with that.” As quickly as it had appeared, humor fell away, replaced by sorrow. “I read about Dresden.”
A pang shot through his chest. “And?” How horrified was she about what he’d done after his lover Marie’s murder? The scent of Nazi fear and the taste of the blood of soldiers still haunted him. The wolf savored both, even though his human half remained disgusted.
“I’m so sorry for what you went through.”
He blinked. “You’re not completely… disgusted by what I did?”
“Not at all. It was understandable.” A faint smile curved her lips. “It reinforced my fear though.”
“What fear?” Was she afraid of him? No…. He’d have detected it in her scent.
“That I could snap and hurt someone.”
Ian rinsed the washcloth in the bowl of cool water, squeezed out the excess, and gently wiped her forehead and cheeks. “It would take something serious for that to happen.”
Sophia closed her eyes and leaned into the damp cloth in his hand. “That feels really good.”
“You’re running a fever.”
Her eyes opened, and a frown etched lines in a weary face. “I was having nightmares. Running. Screaming. Fire. So much death.”
He cocked his head. Sounded like Dresden. “You read about… Germany right before you fell asleep.”
She nodded.
Unbelievable. Reading about his life had given her nightmares and jacked up her body temperature?
“I couldn’t wake up.”
“If you were human, you’d probably be dead.”
“My fever was that high?”
He nodded.
She laughed soundlessly.
What could she possibly find so funny?
“Well, at least you won’t get yelled at for climbing into bed with me this time.”
Ian laughed. “I don’t get your thought process.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t either, so you’re not alone.” She frowned and rubbed a hand across her forehead. “My head hurts something fierce, and my mouth feels like Death Valley.”
“You’re probably dehydrated from sweating so much.” He got to his feet. “I’ll get you something to drink. Stay here.” He glanced down to make sure she intended to do so.
“What? I’m not going anywhere. Even if I wanted to rebel against that authoritative tone, I’m too weak to stand up and do it.”
“I kind of like that.”
She glared at him.
Ian chuckled and headed for the kitchen. Water and bone broth. She needed both. He could alternate them in her hand. Maybe he’d get her riled up again by being bossy. He grinned and carried a large glass of water and a larger mug of broth out to the deck.
* * *
Sophia rested with her eyes closed, her head turned sideways on the slanted back of the chair. The only sound breaking the peace was the twitter and chirp of birds, carried on a slight breeze. She shivered a bit, but mostly the cool air felt good.
Ian’s parting words played through her mind. Was Kelly right? Did dominant males, at least the ones there, like a woman who argued with them?
Footfalls thumped lightly on the deck.
She opened her eyes and smiled.
“Here you go.” He handed over the water first. “Down the hatch.”
She complied without argument. Anything to get rid of that headache. No sooner had the water disappeared than Ian shoved a heavy mug into her hands. She glanced into it and sniffed.
“It’s bone and liver broth.” He grinned. “I even bolstered it with more salt just for you.”
She took a sip and sighed with a smile. “You’re an angel.”
His thick, warm chuckle slid up her spine, caressing her. “Let’s keep that between us, shall we? As pack alpha, I have a reputation to maintain.”
Humor slipped away. Sophia stared solemnly into the broth. “If that was true, you wouldn’t have allowed those stories to be written about you.” She glanced up.
Ian cocked his head.
“I’m sorry I assumed you’ve had an easy life. You were right to tell me that your current circumstances weren’t necessarily related to the life you’ve led. I had no idea….”
“How far did you get in the book?”
She lowered her gaze. “After Dresden, I couldn’t read any more. I was afraid to find out what happened next.”
He dropped into the chair next to hers and stared across the meadow toward the forest. “I wish I could tell you it was all great after that, but it wasn’t. Life is ugly sometimes. Life as a werewolf is even worse.” The sorrow on his face hurt her heart.
“I’m sorry.”
He turned his head to study her, the look in his gray eyes unfathomable.
Sophia tilted her head to return his scrutiny. “Has anything truly good happened to you?”
“My son.” He half-smiled. “Colin is a constant source of joy. He and Brett got me through my mate Alison’s death. My grandson, Duncan, brings brightness to the world, too. He’s a year old as of last month.”
Ugh. She hadn’t read about Colin’s birth or his mother. Those must be in the stories still to come. Another woman in Ian’s life dead. Did she even want to know what happened? Maybe she should put that book away instead of finishing it. What about the other books? “Ian?”
“Yeah?” His gray gaze settled on her.
“The stories I read about the young woman who was imprisoned and freed by an alpha’s son, were they true or just stories?”
“True. That was my daughter-in-law, Tanya.”
“Tanya? Is she the author? Is she T.S. Campbell?”
“Yes.” He nodded. “T.S. is her first name paired with her maiden name, Sikes.”
“She wrote her own story?”
“She did.”
“That couldn’t have been easy.”
“It probably wasn’t, but she felt very strongly that it needed to be told.”
“I’m glad she did, or I’d still be lost.” Sophia leaned her head against the back of the chair and let her gaze sweep upwards to study the blue sky.
“You went to a lot of trouble to find Tanya. Why? What do you hope to find here?”
“I’m not entirely sure.” She shrugged. “I know how stupid that sounds. Go to so much effort to find an author of fiction books without clear questions in mind. I guess what I really need most… is a sense of… belonging.” Panic shot through her, and she straightened in her seat and shot him a wide-eyed look. “Not that I mean to stay here. I don’t want to sound presumptuous or something. I’m not explaining this well at all.”
“I think I know what you mean.” Ian leaned forward and set his elbows on his knees. “You want to know you’re part of something, that there’s a purpose for what you’ve been through.”
“Yes.” He understood. Tears surged to her eyes. “It’s been hard, trying to figure it out on my own.”
“You’ve managed.” Gray eyes lit with admiration. “That’s more than many do.”
Sophia smiled to acknowledge the compliment then sobered. “I’m lost and adrift, though. I live in constant fear of someone ticking me off to the point that I Shift in public. I don’t want to end up the subject of some government experiment, any more than I want to hurt or kill someone, possibly even innocent bystanders.” Afraid of how he’d take her next statement, she looked down at her hands, folding them in her lap. “I’m tired of being alone in the world.”
One of his hands covered hers. “You’re not alone. Even if you go back to Seattle when all is said and done, you can know that with absolute certainty. You’re not alone in this world. My pack and I aren’t the only wolves in the world either. There are others.”
“I’m not sure I want to know some of them though.” She grimaced. “Based on Tanya’s experiences, at least as recorded in her books, it seems like you and your pack are the exception rather than the rule. Have you ever met another pack that wasn’t hostile?”
“Not so far, unf
ortunately.” He shook his head and sighed. “That saddens me. It would be nice to have contact with others who wouldn’t immediately see us as a threat. The more information we share, the better for all of us, I think.” He shrugged, released her hand, and sat back in the chair. “Our experiences within the confines of this pack are limited, and that creates problems at times.”
“It seems to me you’re doing a wonderful job within those limitations though. At least, based on what little I’ve seen so far.” She smiled self-consciously. “You didn’t try to kill me for stalking you, for one thing. In fact, you didn’t seem particularly upset about it. For another, you brought me straight here without knowing anything about me.”
“Well, not to be condescending, but in your current condition, you’re no threat. If I’d sensed any danger, I’d have dealt with you accordingly.” A dark undertone left little doubt what he meant. Ian half-smiled. “I’ve seen no indication that you wish us harm.”
“Hurting anyone is the very last thing I want. I just need….” She met his gaze and shrugged. “I don’t know.”
He rubbed a hand over his beard. “Well, we need to figure that out before the next full moon.”
Sophia nodded. “I understand. I need to either leave or commit to the pack, and a mate, by then.”
Ian’s brows rose. “You really did learn a lot from those books, didn’t you?”
“Maybe.” She frowned. “I need to read them again, with it clearly in mind that they are pure fact, instead of fact blended with fiction. I may have dismissed some things, thinking they were just elements of storytelling.”
“Are they in your vehicle?”
“Everything I own is in there.”
“I should unload it, in case you need anything while you’re here.” He got to his feet.
She shot him an annoyed look. “You might ask if I want all my belongings unloaded, rather than presume and make the decision for me.”
Ian’s head fell back, and he sighed, set his hands on his hips, and looked at her. “Fine. Would you like me to retrieve your belongings? I’m sure there are things you can use while you’re here.”
Sophia met his gaze and smiled. “You’re right. I could. Each box is marked on top with what it contains. Only the ones marked ‘clothes’ or ‘books’ need to be brought in. The rest can stay.”
He nodded. “Would you like me to move your SUV into the garage?”
“That would be great. Thank you.” Her smile grew. He was getting the hang of it.
“Finish the broth.” A half-grin and mischievous glint in his eyes accompanied the barked order. “I’ll take care of the rest.” Then he entered the house and gently closed the sliding glass door behind him.
She laughed.
* * *
About two and a half weeks remained until the next full moon. Ian grabbed car keys off the breakfast bar and marched out the front door. Sophia would probably stay as long as possible, even if she left in the long run. Why couldn’t he stop teasing her? He enjoyed that far too much, and it could cost him his battered heart. He’d been wrong about her being no threat.
Chapter 7
A shiver racked Sophia’s body. She opened her eyes and realized she’d fallen asleep in the Adirondack chair on the deck. Pushing to her feet, she retreated to the house, rubbing her hands up and down her upper arms.
“Stayed out too long, huh?” Ian chuckled, emerging from a short hallway on the opposite side of the living room from the one leading to the guestroom.
She nodded. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”
“You need it. Your body’s healing.” He pointed to the couch. “Sit. I’ll get a fire going.”
Only the fact a fire sounded wonderful kept her from objecting to the return of that commanding tone. She plopped on the couch and wrapped the afghan around her she found draped over the back. Shivering, she watched the play of muscles under Ian’s shirt as he built a fire in the large stone fireplace. Confident. Efficient. No wasted movement. Controlled, quiet strength. Was there anything more attractive?
The fact his scent brought peace and safety, no matter how much she wanted to claim otherwise…. Where’s the justice, Lord? I can’t take care of myself right now, and You put that in my path? How am I supposed to stand against something so appealing? Not fair. Not fair at all.
Flames soon danced across the small logs Ian had stacked with such care in the fireplace. He got to his feet and turned.
She lowered her gaze to the afghan and pretended she hadn’t been watching him. Hopefully Ian would be strong enough for both of them, or she was in serious trouble.
“I should fix you something solid to eat.”
“Not yet.” Sophia shook her head and glanced up with a faint smile. “Thanks, though.”
Ian nodded and dropped into the chair at the far end of the couch. Then he studied her with narrowed eyes.
Afraid to know what was on his mind, she stretched, yawned, and allowed her gaze to wander to the fire. Sneaking suspicion said when he was ready to disclose his thoughts, he’d open his mouth. He hadn’t struck her so far as one to keep questions to himself if he wanted to know something.
“Why do you have such a problem with dominant males?”
She sighed. He just had to go there, didn’t he? Alright. Fine. If he wanted to know, she’d tell him. “Have you ever worked in a commercial kitchen?”
He frowned and blinked a couple of times. Clearly not the response he’d expected. “No. Why?”
“I’ve done so since high school.”
“Okaaay.”
“The bulk of the men I’ve worked with, who headed those kitchens, were domineering jerks. They bossed people around, talked down to them, and generally walked all over them, just because they could. A couple of them even got away with sexually harassing the female kitchen help and wait staff because they were good enough at their jobs that the restaurant owners wouldn’t risk losing them.” She glared at him. “They didn’t care who they hurt as long they got what they wanted. They had no qualms about lying, bullying, or beating someone down verbally. I saw the same steamroller behavior and attitude in many of the male business executives who had dinner parties and lunch meetings at the restaurants.”
“Hm.” Ian nodded, his eyes still narrowed in thought. “I can see why those experiences would skew your opinion.”
“You think?” Sophia shook her head. “One thing I can tell you, it’s a very good thing I wasn’t a wolf when I had to deal with them. By the time I was Turned, I’d become an Executive Chef, running my own kitchen, and I had a great staff. If I’d been Turned when I was still in training, there’d be a trail of dead men leading to my doorstep.”
He chuckled.
“What’s funny?”
“It just struck me how many women probably feel the same way about the exact same men, and probably wish they were werewolves so they could torture the jerks of the world.”
“That’s funny?”
“No. Thinking about how those men would respond sure is, though.”
She cocked her head, still not quite grasping what he was getting at.
“I can’t help but wonder how many of them were truly dominant, and how many were yappy little dogs barking hard and loud to convince everyone they were big dogs.” He shook his head. “Don’t you know that, generally, the bigger someone acts, the smaller they actually are? Leaders give orders when necessary, but they’re servants first. Any leader unwilling to serve those he expects to follow him is not a true leader. Someone who beats down his subordinates, whether verbally or physically, is a coward unfit to lead.” The growling tone at the end of his final statement made the hair on the back of her neck prickle.
“Like Kelly’s father?” she murmured, recalling the woman’s comments over breakfast.
“Exactly. That man didn’t deserve a pack.” The hard look in gray eyes made her shudder. She’d obviously hit on something that mattered deeply to Ian.
“Is he still alpha of Kell
y’s old pack?”
“No. He’s dead. Colin killed him, protecting Tanya.” Ian turned his gaze on her. “If you expect me to be like the males you’re accustomed to, you better think again. I don’t believe in abusing or bullying others to elevate myself. The members of this pack follow me because they trust that I have their best interests at heart and will lay down my life to protect each and every one of them, should the situation call for it. If I ever lose sight of that, I hope at least one of them has the courage to do whatever it takes to protect the pack, even if it means killing me.”
Sophia’s breath caught. “You’d actually want someone to kill you?”
“To protect the pack, yes.” No equivocation. No doubt. No flinch in his direct gaze. “The needs of the pack must always come first.” He cocked his head, and the right corner of his mouth cocked upwards. “Speaking of which, I realize you’re not pack, but you have needs at the moment that must be met. I’m going to fix you solid food.” He got to his feet and headed for the kitchen.
Though his outward behavior hadn’t reflected it, the scent of anger wafted behind him. Had she made him angry, or was he mad about Kelly’s father? That seemed to have been what triggered his temper. Not that he’d given more than cursory indications of rising ire. Not like some of the others she’d known.
Uncertain what else to say, she watched him go. Maybe he needed a few minutes alone? Leaning her head against the upholstered arm of the couch, she stared at dancing flames in the fireplace. Maybe he wasn’t such a bad sort after all. As long as he quit bossing her around, anyway.
Then again, what if he really was just like the others and trying to trick her for some reason? He was a lot bigger and stronger than her, and he had her trapped. She couldn’t get away unless he opened the gates. No way she’d get over that twenty-foot wall.
* * *
Why am I so annoyed? Ian rolled his shoulders and neck to loosen them. He’d known Sophia disliked dominant males. He even agreed with her about the ones she’d known. They were jerks. But why did it matter so much what she thought of him? Two and a half weeks until the full moon. Less than that, and she’d be gone. What she thought of him was irrelevant.