by D. M. Turner
“Yes, we could.”
Ian snorted. “You can’t lie to me just this once?”
Brett smirked. “Like I even know how to lie.”
He chuckled then fell quiet.
“Reality is harsh sometimes, maybe even more so for us than most humans. Just like humans, we can die at any time. We may not get cancer or diseases, but accidents and… these battles kill us just as readily. You and I have known a lot of wolves that had short lives. Shorter than the average human even.”
“Yes, we have.”
“That’s why we have to grab hold of the good things when we can. If you die tomorrow without allowing yourself to love Sophia, you’ll have cheated yourself out of something wonderful, no matter how brief it lasts.”
“I know the pain of grief, Brett. How can I surrender and risk putting her through that if you have to—” He swallowed hard, unable to complete the thought.
“Don’t you think she has the right to make that choice for herself?” Brett snorted and smirked again. “Or are you going to prove you’re a domineering jerk and make such an important decision about her life without her input?” He laid a hand on Ian’s shoulder. “Let Alison go. God’s giving you another shot at happiness. Don’t throw it back in His face because of fear.”
Ian scowled. “Did you have to put it that way?”
Brett chuckled. “Hey, I just call it like I see it.” He shrugged. “The Lord is handing you an incredible gift. Are you going to accept it with gratitude, or reject it?” A brow rose, and he smiled. “I better make sure Kelly doesn’t need help with the pups.”
“You do that.” He stared at the hallway entrance long after his friend had passed through it and disappeared. Then he lowered his head. Is he right, Lord? Is Sophia here at Your behest?
It is not good for man to be alone. The warm, peaceful assurance touched his soul. An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels.
He recognized both passages. Genesis and Proverbs.
I have not given you a spirit of fear. Fear comes from the flesh and the enemy.
Give me courage, Lord.
* * *
Curled up on the bed, Sophia stared at the gradually lightening windows. The lightheadedness from earlier hadn’t passed yet. She shouldn’t have let Ian upset her so much. The fact she hadn’t eaten the day before, with the chaos and preparations, probably hadn’t helped. She’d felt so good Sunday afternoon, it was easy to forget her body was still recovering from prolonged starvation.
A knock on the door sent tension through her.
She closed her eyes and lay still. If she pretended to be asleep, hopefully whoever it was would go away.
The door clicked faintly as it closed.
Then the air shifted around her, carrying Ian’s scent. He chuckled. “I know you’re awake.”
“Go away,” she muttered without opening her eyes. “I’m trying to sleep.”
The bed dipped at her hips.
Sophia sighed, opened her eyes, and craned her neck to glare at the man sitting behind her. “What do you want?”
“To apologize.”
She blinked.
“That shocking, huh?” A faint, sheepish smile cocked up one corner of his mouth. He lowered his gaze to his lap. “I deserve that after the way I’ve acted.”
Not sure what to say, Sophia sat up and waited.
After several long moments, Ian met her gaze. “My… attitude”—he grimaced—“about the kitchen isn’t your fault.”
She murmured, “I know.”
“It was Alison’s domain.”
Why hadn’t she thought of that? Then again, why would she? Ian hadn’t been protective of the master bedroom. Shouldn’t he have? Surely he and Alison had shared it.
“She was the cook in the family. She taught me a few things, but mostly she did the cooking. I used to sit at the breakfast bar while she worked. Sometimes, we chatted and joked around. Other times, I just sat and watched her.” His gaze slipped away. “I still see her in there sometimes.”
Sophia tensed.
He half-grinned, flushing self-consciously under his beard. It crept onto his cheeks. “Not that I’m seeing ghosts or anything. It’s just memories come back to me. It’s the only place I usually see her.”
“I didn’t realize….” The man still loved his long-dead wife. Enough to guard what he perceived as her territory. Sophia wanted to pretend that didn’t hurt, but such subterfuge was pointless.
“I know. You couldn’t have known.” Ian shrugged. “The reality is that it’s way past time for me to let her go.”
“Are you sure you’re ready for that?”
He chuckled and shook his head. “No, but I can’t hide behind her anymore.”
“Hide?”
Ian nodded. “I’ve used her as a shield to keep my heart safe from the women I’ve met over the years. You, though….” He pinned her with a narrow-eyed, thoughtful look. “You’ve managed to slip past the shield, and I don’t know what to do about it, other than marry you.”
Sophia shook her head. “We already discussed that, and—”
“I know.” He covered her mouth with gentle fingers and scooted closer. “Our discussion is why I’m here, remember. I didn’t only come to say how sorry I am for the way I acted.”
His fingertips remained on her lips, so she settled for giving him a questioning look.
“I’d like your help remodeling the kitchen.”
She widened her eyes. Is he serious? He certainly looked serious. She captured his hand and pushed it away from her mouth. “You really… you want… are you just pulling my leg?”
“No.” Ian smiled, one corner of his mouth pulling up in that way she’d already come to associate with him. “I mean it. It would be your kitchen, too, if you consent to marry me, so it’s only right that you have a say in the design. I’m sure you’d like to change things around to work better for you.”
Eyeing him with suspicion, she considered his proposal. The turn-around had been rather… abrupt. “What changed your mind?”
“Conversations with my son and my rather direct best friend.”
Sophia cocked her head. Colin and Brett had caused the one-eighty?
“The truth is, I’ve hidden behind Alison’s memory… because I’ve felt like a failure.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I failed to protect Alison and Marie. I’ve got this deep fear in my gut that it’ll happen again.”
“Their deaths weren’t your fault, Ian. You couldn’t have prevented either one.” She frowned. “You can’t save the world, you know. You’re not Christ.”
Ian burst out laughing, surprising her.
“What’s so funny?”
“That sounds exactly like something Brett would say.”
Sophia smiled slightly. “Yeah, well, don’t tell him I agree with him about something, okay?”
“It might help. He thinks you don’t like him.” He half-grinned. “To be fair, you did go after him a couple of times, so I understand why he might think that.”
A frown erased her smile. “Why did I do that? I remember doing it now, but I still don’t understand why I did it. The wolf sure got stirred up about something. All I remember is her certainty that you were in danger, but I don’t recall him doing anything to cause that, so I’ve been confused about that whole thing.”
“Brett came in boiling mad. Your wolf thought his anger was directed at me.”
“Did he make an aggressive move I don’t remember?”
“No, but he came toward me angry, so….” He frowned thoughtfully. “The wolf is very… literal. Pure instinct. Instinct doesn’t think before acting. It says the person coming is angry, therefore dangerous, react accordingly. When the human mind comes into play, it analyzes the situation and decides whether or not there’s a threat. If you’d been in control, you’d have realized quickly that Brett wasn’t mad at me and deemed him a non-threat. The wolf, being instinct, di
dn’t reason it through.”
That made sense, in a weird sort of way. “I feel like we’re talking about two personalities.”
Ian chuckled. “Not quite. It’s like separating parts of the mind. Basic behavior and need versus reason and inhibitions. The wolf is free of those latter two if the human component goes dormant or relinquishes control. One of my wolf’s basic needs is to protect at all costs.”
That explained a few things.
“I suspect your wolf has that same need, or you wouldn’t have gone after Brett so fiercely.” He half-smiled, admiration lighting his gray eyes. “I had a hard time restraining you until you realized it was me who was holding you and I fully intended to keep you from killing him. At that point, your wolf chose to trust that I had the situation in hand.”
He liked the fact he had trouble restraining her? Sick, twisted man. “Is that why he thinks our wolves have chosen each other as mates?”
“He told you about that, did he?”
She shook her head. “He made a comment about it to Graham.”
Ian nodded in understanding. “He based that on your behavior when the wolf was fully in control. The fierce way you protected me, and the way you stayed close to me once the situation had been settled.”
That made no sense.
“Can I ask you something?”
“I guess.” Sophia shrugged.
“Night before last, when you had nightmares, you came and slept in my room.”
Probably shouldn’t have done that. She nodded.
“Why didn’t you do that last night?”
“Because, everything else aside, I’m still mad at you and Brett about this whole ‘kill the alpha’ plan. I was afraid if you woke up and found me in your room again, you’d think I had let that go.” She narrowed her eyes. “I haven’t.”
“I wouldn’t expect you to.” He pointed to the book lying on the nightstand. “Since you know how Alison died, I assume you finished reading.”
“Yes.” Don’t think about it, or you’ll start crying again.
“Then you know what happened to our last alpha, Brady.”
She nodded. “Did he really kill pack members?”
“Yes, and he almost killed two others before I stopped him.” Sorrow darkened gray eyes to the shade of thunderclouds.
“I’m sorry you had to do that. I can’t imagine how painful it was.” She squeezed the fingers she’d forgotten she still held. “He was your friend.”
Ian nodded. “Yes, he was.”
No matter what had happened with the previous alpha, or what Ian and Brett said, there had to be another way to save Ian should the worst happen. Lord, help me find a way. Better yet, keep him safe and don’t let him lose himself to the wolf if the fight turns ugly. Please!
The purr of two or three vehicles reached faintly through the walls. Those in the pack who’d left the day before were returning, apparently.
Ian got to his feet then turned to face her. “You haven’t answered my question.”
“What question?”
“Will you marry me and teach this old wolf new tricks?”
Sophia laughed softly at his choice of words then sobered. “Doesn’t it bother you that we don’t love each other?”
“No.” He shook his head. “Love comes. Wolves choose wisely. If you doubt that, talk to Brett, Kelly, Graham, or Donna. They married out of necessity, not love, but their wolves had chosen each other.”
She cocked her head. “How did Brett know your wolf had chosen me?”
“He asked.” Ian half-grinned. “I couldn’t exactly lie.” He leaned down and captured her chin in a gentle hand. “Besides, I’m already half in love with you, and that doesn’t even address the attraction between us.”
“Lust fades, you know.”
He laughed. “Not this kind.” As though to illustrate his point, he closed the little bit of distance remaining between them and gently caressed her lips with his.
Breath catching, Sophia melted into his light touch. How could a simple, barely discernible touch liquefy her bones?
After a few moments, Ian drew back. Passion-filled gray eyes studied her, then he smiled with pure male satisfaction and headed for the door. As he pulled it open, he glanced back. “Suppose you can help with breakfast this morning? With the whole pack here, we’ll have a lot of mouths to feed.”
“As long as I don’t have to cook sausage.” She shuddered.
A puzzled frown appeared. “Why do you hate that stuff so much?”
“It was my dad’s favorite. I had to fix it for him every morning, and heaven help me if it wasn’t cooked just right.”
“Oh.” He smiled. “No sausage then.”
“Thanks. I’ll be out in a few minutes.” Sophia waited until Ian had left and closed the door before trying to stand. If she ended up in a puddle on the floor, she’d prefer to do it without an audience. Thankfully, her knees held.
Chapter 23
Relieved, terrified, and elated. What a combination. Ian chuckled as he headed for the other end of the house. Only a woman could churn up so many conflicting emotions at the same time in one man. At least, nothing else had ever done it to him that he could recall.
Brett sat at the dining room table with Carlos and Max, as well as Graham’s mate Donna, minus her kid brother Tommy, who was soon-to-be fourteen. Brett pinned Ian with a questioning look. Everyone fell silent as their alpha entered the room.
Ian flipped a bar stool around and dropped onto it.
“So? Did you two make nice?” Brett smirked.
“Yes, but she’s still mad at both of us, so don’t assume we’re in the clear.”
“I’d be surprised if she wasn’t.” A brow rose. “Did you convince her to marry you?”
“Yes.” He half-smiled. “We’re remodeling the kitchen when this threat passes.” Assuming they all survived. Him, included.
“Her idea, or yours?”
“Mine.”
Brett nodded with a look of smug satisfaction. “Good man.”
The others shared confused glances. Then Donna found the courage to ask, “What does remodeling the kitchen have to do with getting married?”
“Long story.” Ian chuckled and shook his head.
Brett held his peace then promptly changed the subject. “Colin and Tanya are standing guard. Tommy thought it’d be fun and went to join them.” A brief grin emerged. “Graham and Peter are finalizing paperwork and financial arrangements for the pack, as well as arranging time off work for the rest of the week. They should be here later this morning, Graham said. Kelly’s with Clara and the pups in the basement. Jeremy and Annie plan to work through the morning at the clinic and are having his patients for the rest of the week rescheduled, calling it a family emergency. I haven’t heard from David or O’Neil yet about getting their families out of town. Carlos and Max have information.”
“Excellent.” Ian turned his gaze on the two men.
Max’s gaze remained on the table.
Carlos looked at Ian’s bearded chin, leaned forward in his chair, and rested both elbows on the table, folding his forearms. “We tracked credit cards and cellphones for Brimfield and some of his pack, based on names and information Kelly provided from her sister.”
That didn’t sound legal, but given the life-and-death nature of the situation, Ian had no intention of making issue of it. Their lives, by their very nature, often required living outside of human law. No getting around it. “And?”
“They’re all over the map, searching for her from the look of things. They’re spread out across the southwestern part of the country. We’ve tracked them to Denver, Los Angeles, Salt Lake City, Las Vegas, and El Paso. Brimfield’s second is the closest. He’s in Albuquerque, which isn’t good.”
“Why?”
“According to Kelly, Clara took Greyhound buses to various places in hopes of confusing anyone who followed her. Her last two stops before taking a shuttle van to Flagstaff were Albuquerque and then Pho
enix.”
“You suspect they’ve tracked her from New Mexico to Phoenix?”
“Yes, sir.” Carlos glanced at Max, who nodded. “A reservation at a hotel in Phoenix popped up on his credit card this morning. Max called the hotel to verify the reservation. They confirmed for this evening.”
Not good news, but not surprising. “What about Brimfield?”
“He’s in Salt Lake City.”
“So… we can anticipate them reaching Phoenix this evening. Possibly even Flagstaff by tonight, if the second reaches Phoenix early enough and finds out where Clara went from there.”
“I’d say that’s a safe bet.” Carlos cocked his head. “Do you suppose Brimfield’s second might show up and try to take her on his own?”
“No.” Ian shook his head. “Based on what Kelly said, Brimfield’s a control freak. He’ll want to reclaim Clara himself. He’ll have his second wait for him to arrive.” Movement in the hall drew his gaze.
Sophia smiled as she entered the dining room. Did she look paler? Her smile looked a bit on the weak side, too, but her body language discouraged pursuit of either issue. Worry would wait until they were alone and she felt no need to put up a strong front for the others.
Shaking off the thought for the moment, Ian held out a hand.
She grasped it, and he pulled her gently to his side. She didn’t feel overly cool or warm, so at least her internal thermostat wasn’t the issue at the moment.
He returned his attention to the members of the pack. “So, safe bet that we have the rest of today to finish preparations. An attack could come anytime tonight or thereafter.”
Carlos nodded. “That’s my assessment, too, sir.”
He wiped his free hand across his eyes. Too soon. Death will be at the gate far too soon. “So, what’s left as far as preparations? Did Colin stock the freezers?”
“Both, yes,” Brett confirmed. “He and Tanya took care of it last night.”
“Good.”
The front door opened then closed, and familiar voices continued their conversation as the two men made their way through the house. O’Neil and David rounded the entrance of the foyer and came through to the dining room.