Too Fast

by Alexia Haynes

  My cheek stung but not as much as the one part of my heart that I just couldn’t seem to harden against her. She was the woman who’d cuddled me when I was sick, brought me cool washcloths when I had a fever and popsicles when my throat hurt. I blinked back tears that had nothing to with the trauma to my face.

  “No more credit cards. Pull yourself together for Natalie’s sake. In case you’ve forgotten, she’s fifteen years old, and she needs a mother.”

  Mom’s face fell, and the keening began as tears flowed down her cheeks. “I hate you, Luke,” she screamed. She ran from the room, leaving me with a smarting cheek, as I watched the cigarette smoke curl into the air from its perch on the ashtray.

  A minute later, a soft voice behind me said, “Go take a shower, Luke.” Natalie patted my arm and walked over to the ashtray and put out the cigarette.

  I was afraid to say anything with that giant lump in my throat.

  “Go, Luke. Savannah’s expecting you.”

  By the time I got out of the shower, I had managed to shove all those feelings back to the far corners of my mind so I could function. I stepped out with a towel around my waist, since little sis was likely to be nearby.

  “I laid out some clothes for you, but you didn’t tell me where you were going.” Natalie sat at the table with a notepad and her phone.

  “Nowhere dressy,” I said. I hadn’t spent money on anything but jeans and t-shirts in years. I turned and saw jeans and a couple of shirts on the bed. “Thanks, Natalie.”

  “Also, I went ahead and got the balances off the cards. It could be worse. They gave her limits ranging from three hundred to five hundred.”

  “So we’re looking at what?”

  “Just under twenty-one hundred dollars. We lucked out. She hadn’t charged number five all the way up. She had thirty-one dollars left.”

  Lucked out. My chest constricted under the burden.

  It would take a while to pay those off, and I wasn’t sure if I should. My priority was keeping a house and home for Natalie. I needed money for the things that came up at Nat’s school, gas, books, dates with Savannah, and surely a college fund for Natalie should come before paying the people who’d been foolish enough to give my mother a credit line.

  What was best for Natalie? And what was best for me? Was I letting my mother’s illness control me by paying the bills, or by deciding not to pay them?

  “I thought I was helping,” Natalie said, “but now I see that I’m just stressing you out right before your date.”

  “Your fine, Nat.” I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. I slipped my boxers on under my towel, and dressed quickly, selecting the deep blue t-shirt that Nat had laid out. I was going to pretend my mother and her problems did not exist, and I was going to have fun tonight.

  “I’m glad you didn’t shave,” Nat said when I walked back to the table. “You look handsome when you have the five o’clock shadow thing going.”

  I hadn’t even thought about shaving. “I was distracted. Are you sure I shouldn’t shave?”

  “You look perfect. She’ll adore you.”

  “She’s in college,” I said. “She’s working two jobs to put herself through.”

  “You really like her.”

  “I do.” It wasn’t like I could hide it from Nat. “I’m afraid we don’t have a lot in common.”

  She snorted. “You work hard. She works hard. So what if you aren’t in college? You will be once you finish raising me.”

  She smiled up at me and like always, I wouldn’t change a thing.

  “Are you ready?” I asked.

  “Yes.” She stood and moved away from the table.

  Something was different, I realized. She wasn’t wearing the usual baggy jeans or t-shirt two sizes too big. She wore a pink top, in roughly the right size for her, and the color was much brighter than Natalie’s usual. She wasn’t hiding herself tonight. I smiled at her. “You look great.”

  Natalie stared down at the floor. “This is new,” she said. “Mom brought it home today.”

  She was nervous about my reaction.

  “Nat, I’m glad she made one good decision today. The color is great on you, and I’m sure you needed some new clothes.” I didn’t want to add to her discomfort by spending any more time looking at her. Natalie seemed to prefer being invisible much of the time. The jeans must have been new also. They seemed to flatter her figure in a way that her others didn’t.

  I’d gotten used to protecting her from the riff raff Mom brought home, but I wasn’t prepared to protect her from the whole world. Maybe I’d get lucky and she’d hide in the baggy clothes again tomorrow. But she wasn’t happy in the oversized clothes, was she?

  I wanted the best of everything for Natalie.

  “Oh, I’m supposed to text Savannah when I’m leaving for her house.” I pulled my phone out of my back pocket. Headed your way. Bringing Nat. Hope you don’t mind.

  “It’s already eight,” Nat said, grabbing her purse.

  “Let’s go then.” I followed her out to my SUV and unlocked the passenger door for her.

  Savannah

  I’d gotten ready, and then I’d gotten antsy in my bedroom. I ventured out into the living room since Aubrey was probably at her bartending job and wouldn’t be there to annoy me. I sat on the Ugly Couch and picked up the remote to channel surf. I’d pretty much decided that nothing was on television when my phone vibrated.

  Surely it was Luke saying he was on his way. I picked up the phone and read his text.

  Luke was bringing his sister. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. I knew he wanted to spend time with me. He’d made that clear this morning, so I didn’t need to worry that he was trying to avoid me. He must have a reason, and from what they’d said this morning, it probably had something to do with his mother.

  I texted him back. Gr8. I’ll be ready. Be nice to get to know Nat.

  She seemed nice. She did. I was a little disappointed about losing the option of jumping the man’s bones as soon as he got here. Maybe a lot disappointed.

  I’d even worn my best cleavage-emphasizing top. I glanced down. Probably not a good idea with his impressionable sister along. This shirt went way across the line into slutty-land and gave the message, “Yes, I’ll do you in the broom closet.” Darn it. I really like my breasts in this shirt.

  I set my phone on the couch and got up to go change. Girls needed positive role models. It was bad enough that she knew, had heard, that I had jumped right into bed with her brother. And she’d probably meet Aubrey at some time or other, who could damage Natalie beyond repair with just one anecdote from her messed up life. I settled for a sequined black tank. Paired with my jeans it walked the line between casual and dressy, and the top was flattering but with acceptable coverage.

  “You look nice,” Madison said when I walked back into the living room.

  She’d stolen my seat on the Ugly Couch.

  I was suddenly glad I’d changed my top. She would have known I was headed out with Luke, and she would have known exactly what I planned to do with him. I sat down next to her, and picked up my phone to see if I’d missed anything. Nope.

  Maybe Madison wouldn’t notice when I left with Luke. Maybe I wouldn’t have to tell everyone how reckless I was being with my one-night stand rules. I’d spent weeks explaining to them how a one-night stand with no strings was the perfect course of action for me, right now, at this point in my life. Those arguments were going to come back and bite me in the ass when my friends found out I was seeing Luke for just a little bit longer.

  “I’m so glad you’re off tonight, Savannah. There is nothing I need more right now than some girl-time and some great TV.”

  “Oh, I…” Great. Now I felt like a jerk. “Madison, there’s something I need to tell you.”

  “I know there’s something great on tonight, but I can’t remember what it was. I just remember thinking that I had to see it and I had to see it with you.”

  Oh, crud. “Um, Madi
son,” I said, turning to face her when I let her down.

  “Um, what, Savannah?” she asked. She met my gaze, with wide-eyes, and overdone innocence.

  “You’re messing with me, aren’t you?”

  She nodded. “You’ve blown that whole one-night-stand BS all to hell. You’re going out again tonight, aren’t you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Okay, I know you made these stupid rules for yourself, but open your eyes, Savannah. Luke is hot. And he seems like a nice guy. He didn’t even wait a whole day before he called you, and he was nice to us last night. His gaze didn’t stray to Aubrey in her hooker dress even for a second, and trust me, I was watching.”

  Her words should have made me happy, but instead, they just reminded me how badly I could fall for this guy. I would rather have hooked up with a total ass. My heart would be safer. “You’re saying he’s a good guy.”

  “I’m saying he could be a great guy.”

  She didn’t know the half of it. She didn’t know that he owned a home at his age or that he looked after his sister and apparently provided a home for his mother as well. I twisted a strand of my hair around my finger as I thought about him. She didn’t know about the cottage in his garage, and while she probably suspected that he was amazingly skilled in the bedroom arts, she didn’t know it the way I knew it. I sighed.

  “You are totally all dreamy and goofy over this guy,” Madison accused. “I’ve never seen you like this. You never acted this way over Brian or Scott.”

  “I’m not goofy over him,” I lied, knowing my lips were curving into a grin, and that I wasn’t fooling her one bit.

  She patted my arm. “Of course you aren’t, honey. Just keep telling yourself that.”

  I picked up my phone and pretended I was ignoring her.

  “Savannah,” she said in a sing-song voice, “give yourself a break. Enjoy it. You overthink every single thing you do. You are having fun, aren’t you?”

  “Yes,” I admitted. “I’m just waiting for it to blow up in my face.”

  “What if it doesn’t? What if you waste all this time worrying about what’s going to go wrong, and it never happens?”

  I didn’t have an answer for that.

  “Why can’t you let yourself hope?”

  Allow myself to hope. No one had ever said it that way before. Hope was a good thing, right? Why wouldn’t I want to let myself hope? I had hope about other things. Important things. Like my education, and my career. I had hope about the future.

  This wasn’t about hope. This was about a man stomping on my heart.

  Madison was starting to get on my nerves. I pulled out one of Aubrey’s favorites, partly because I was angry, and partly because it was probably what Madison needed.

  “Why don’t you just get laid?”

  Madison’s jaw tightened. She tossed a dirty look my way before saying, “I guess I should try it since it’s working so well for your disposition.”

  Yeah, I deserved that. I picked up the remote and started flipping channels. I shouldn’t be fighting with Madison. This whole Luke thing just had me so unnerved.

  Madison was the good roommate. If I was going to be a bitch, I should target Aubrey. At least she deserved it.

  The door to Aubrey’s room opened. Wasn’t she at work by now?

  But it wasn’t Aubrey coming out of her room. A short, stocky guy came out. Then a taller guy and finally a girl I’d never seen before.

  “What the—” Madison said.

  “Hey, man,” the tall guy said, “tell Aubrey we said thanks.”

  “For what?” I tried to ask, but they were out the door.

  The front door slammed shut, and Madison and I just stared at each other. A lot of weird shit went down in Aubrey’s room, but it was usually Aubrey and some guy or other trying to expand on the Kama Sutra. This was something different.

  “What the hell?” Madison said. “How long have they been here?”

  “She knows to kick out her toys before she goes to work. She never leaves them here unattended.”

  “Who the hell were they?”

  Wow. Quite the potty mouth on her all the sudden. For some reason, Madison’s cursing, the strangers in our house, all of it struck me as funny, and I started giggling.

  “How can you laugh? Those people were in our house. They could have robbed us, or murdered us in our sleep, or something creepy and worse like hiding web cams in the bathrooms to watch us while we pee.”

  Now I was laughing so hard, I had to gasp for breath. “Worse than murder? Web… cams… pee…”

  Madison’s distressed expression faded and she struggled to hold back a smile. Once she lost that battle, she started laughing as hard as I was.

  We were still giggling when my phone rang. Luke.

  “Hey,” I said.

  “We’re finally here. Sorry we’re running so late.”

  “Cool. Are you out back?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Can you come in for a minute? Bring Natalie. I’ll explain.”

  “No problem.”

  I hung up and turned to Madison. “We’re going to have to go in her room. I don’t want to leave you here without checking to be sure they’ve all gone.”

  “Thank you,” she said. “Whoever the hell they were.”

  “Girl got a mouth on her,” I teased.

  I went to the front door and Luke and Natalie reached the porch. “Hi, guys.”

  “Hey, beautiful,” Luke said, and then he took me in his arms and kissed me senseless.

  “Luke!” I said, when I could breathe again. “Your sister.” I motioned to her with my head as if he hadn’t noticed his own sister standing there.

  “I’m okay with it,” Natalie said, with a wink at me.

  “Good to see you, Natalie.”

  “You too, Savannah.” She held my gaze for a moment before her bravado dissipated and she glanced away from me.

  “Come inside for a minute. Madison’s here, and we were sitting here, and these people we don’t even know walked out of Aubrey’s room. We didn’t know they were there.” We stepped in the door and Madison greeted us.

  “It was weird,” Madison said. “And creepy.” She held out her hand to Natalie. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m Madison.”

  “You too,” Natalie said.

  “And it’s really a nice surprise to see you again so very soon,” Madison said to Luke, not passing up the chance to dig at me.

  “I don’t want to leave her here alone without checking to be sure there isn’t anybody else here.”

  “Of course not,” Natalie said. “That would be scary.”

  “Which room is hers?” Luke asked.

  “Over here.” I pointed to her door. “But let’s walk through the whole house.”

  Luke went over to the door and opened it and looked in.

  “Is anybody in there?” I asked.

  “No,” he said. Then he went farther into the room.

  I stepped in behind him. I hadn’t ever been in her room before. In the mornings, she was always in here with some guy, and I left long before she got up and cleared him out. The room looked remarkably normal. “Wow. I expected something more.”

  “More, how?”

  “More southern brothel, or budget bordello, or any variation on whorehouse really.”

  “Ouch,” he said. “Harsh judgment from a girl I picked up in a bar.”

  “Nuh-uh,” I said, running my hand over his stomach. “It was a party, and I picked you up. Besides, I wouldn’t be insulting me if you’re hoping to get some tonight.”

  He pulled me up against his chest, and placed his finger on my lips. “I won’t bring it up ever again, and I’m always hoping.”

  Chapter Six

  Savannah

  The heat blazing in his eyes kept me from laughing at our ridiculous words. Oh my. The last time his eyes had turned that dark, he’d been naked, and I’d been happy. I trembled in his arms.

  “Savannah,” he said, s
ounding tortured. Then he pulled me hard against him, and his lips covered mine, his tongue sliding into my mouth, unfurling the raw need I’d been trying to keep at bay.

  “Eww,” Natalie said from the doorway. “We’re never going to get to dinner.”

  Luke froze, but didn’t move away.

  Madison interjected, “So Natalie, come tell me about yourself.”

  “They aren’t going to do it in there, are they?”

  With a groan, Luke kissed me on the forehead. “We’ll check the house and go eat.”

  Natalie and Madison weren’t in the doorway any longer.

  “Right. Don’t want to leave Madison here with any weirdoes.”

  “Yeah. Why aren’t we inviting her to go with us? She’s your friend, right?”

  “Yeah,” I answered, thinking about his question. It hadn’t occurred to me. I was so caught up in the idea of sharing my Luke-time with his sister and what all that might mean that I hadn’t realized we were excluding Madison. “I didn’t think about it. She gets up really early, but she might want to come.” I squeezed his hand. “Thanks.”

  When we had walked through Madison’s room, poked our heads in the bathroom, and then checked my room for good measure, I asked Madison to come with us. Her eyes lit up when I did.

  “Yeah. I’ll come.”

  “I didn’t ask before because we might be late and you have to get up early.”

  “I do, but it isn’t like I’ll sleep anyway. Even if we know they’ve all gone, I don’t know what will happen when Aubrey gets home.”

  “We definitely need to have a talk with her tomorrow.” I grabbed my purse and phone, and we all went out to Luke’s Expedition. “Where are we going anyway?” I asked.

  “Wherever you want,” Luke said. “I don’t think we’ll have to wait for a table anywhere.”

  Madison laughed. “I wouldn’t think so.”

  “Should we take a vote?” Luke asked.

  “No Thai,” Madison said.

  “Or Italian,” Natalie added.

  “What about Mexican?” I suggested.

  “Perfect,” Madison said.

  “Sounds good to me,” Natalie added.

  “Mexican it is,” Luke said, glancing at me with a crooked smile. “Is there a good place close by?”