by John Hook
She hadn’t changed much. She was maybe in her early thirties with a trim, muscular body. She had the potential to be attractive, but her skin was drawn and her hair dry and unkempt. Everything about her was, as it had always been, drab. Even her clothing showed little color. I realized, she was one of the remaining people of Rockvale who were still part of what we called “the mass.”
When I arrived, the population of former humans, ruled by the demon tribes, was largely traumatized. They were, for all intents and purposes, torture toys that had to endure untold pain at the whim of the demons. The effect of the trauma was to turn them into drab, colorless, emotionless automatons since their bodies reflected what they were.
“Anita.” Quentin Case, master of repartee.
She looked up and met my gaze although she couldn’t hold it.
“Is it all right to come here?”
I sensed a deep sadness. I also realized there was something more there, some additional strength, which hadn’t been there before. Maybe it was just living with the source of her former traumas removed.
“Of course it’s okay, as long as you aren’t here to shank me, which I may deserve.” I gave her my full-wattage smile. It had the effect it had always had with Anita. She didn’t react.
“He’s gone.”
“Who’s gone?”
“I didn’t know where else to go.”
“Who’s gone?”
“Philip.”
“Your husband?” I was guessing. I was referring to the man she was with when I met her. He had been even further lost to trauma than she and I hadn’t gotten a name. I wasn’t even sure they were a couple, but it seemed logical. Not that much in this world is logical.
“Yes. My...” She paused for just a moment. “…husband.” Tears came from her eyes but she kept her composure.
I came around the desk and gave her a clean cloth I had on a shelf. She was very contained, but emotion was new for her. I poured some water and gave it to her and then sat on my desk.
“Tell me what happened.”
Anita looked up. She had an expression that was hard to read.
“He was reborn, you know.”
I wasn’t quite sure what she meant by that.
“Do you mean he was turned into a proto?”
“Is that what they are called? Yes, he was shot with an arrow when we were gathered in the square.”
A pang of guilt rose up in me. In this world, you can be tortured forever without the blessing of going into shock. However, you can’t die. If our bodies sustain enough damage to cause death, a new body is spontaneously generated and, in most cases, all your memories and identity are wiped out. You are starting over. The being that emerges is called a proto and for a short time, while a new personality is formed, it is quite strong and dangerous. As it develops, the biological processes balance and it becomes docile again.
We defeated the demons by turning a major portion of the population into raging protos, using arrows to “kill” the formerly traumatized humans. It worked. It does present a rather sticky ethical debate, however. That happens a lot in this place.
Anita took my silence as permission to continue.
“I found him and managed to bring him back to himself. I didn’t think there was anything I cared about but I cared about him. I don’t know if he remembered anything of who he was, but he felt a connection and settled down with me.”
“So, what happened?”
“He was full of life and ideas and ambition. I always felt like I was clawing through a fog. He started wandering off.”
“What do you mean by ‘wandering off’?”
“Away from town, into the frontier. I think he was looking for something, but he wouldn’t tell me. I was always afraid he wouldn’t come back, but he always did.”
“You are important to him.”
“I don’t know. I feel like I drag him down and he comes back out of obligation. I begged him to… you know…”
“You begged him not to leave you?”
“No.” Anta was having trouble looking at me. “I begged him… to change me.”
“Were you asking him to turn you into a proto?”
“I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I pleaded with him, but he refused.” She looked up at me with tears again, although the control remained. “He said I just needed a better life.”
“He’s right. You are changing, Anita, even if it feels too slow. Tell me about this better life.” I was skeptical that there was any kind of better life in this world, but I wasn’t about to tell her that.
“I don’t know. He said there was a place you could get away from the demons, away from the pain. It was hard to find, mostly rumors. But he believed it was true.”
“And when he came back?”
“He would be disappointed, but each time he felt he was closer to finding it.”
“Did he give you any information about where he was looking?”
“No, he said he didn’t want to get my hopes up until he knew. He did say he had been to a big city, but it was beyond there.
“And this time?”
“When he left this time he said he had almost found what he was looking for and he would be back to bring me with him in a few days.”
“He hasn’t come back?”
“Philip was never gone more than a few days at a time. It has been fifteen days.”
I was actually impressed that Anita had marked the days. After a while in this place, I stopped being able to keep track of units of time. There were no clocks, no calendars and no schedules. Everything became just a big blur.
“You want me to find him.”
“I didn’t know where else to go.”
I didn’t need to think about it. I also knew I was using this to my own ends. I had to go out and explore. I also kind of liked the private detective aspect to the gig. PI in Hell. Make a great new book to write, if I could only find a publisher in Hell. It seemed strange not to find any here.
“I will find him, Anita. At the very least, I will find out what happened to him. If he was turned into a proto again, I will find him and bring him back and we’ll work with him.”
Anita sat silently, turned inward, as if she wasn’t sure what to say.
“Quentin?”
It was the first time I had ever heard her use my name.
“What?”
“Would you kill me? Turn me into one of them?”
I sighed. I took her by the shoulders and stood her up. I stroked her hair away from her face.
“No.” I locked eyes with her as I said it. She started to avert, but I was pleased to see her eyes come back and meet mine. “Philip was right. You are coming alive in there and he will need you in whatever way he comes back. You simply need to reach deep down and find the Anita before what the demons did.”
“I don’t know if I can.”
“Maybe you should stop doing it alone. Talk to the others. Go down to the Dragon Lady and work out—you look like you used to be in good shape. Do morning tai chi with Taka.”
I released her. She didn’t quite slump as much as she used to.
“I’ll find Philip and we will find out what this ‘better life’ thing he had going was.”
“Thank you.”
“Thank me by looking after yourself, for Philip.”
She turned without any further words and walked out. One certainly couldn’t accuse her of having a spring in her step, but I thought I could detect a little less gray drabness in her glamour.
“Here we go again.” Paul sighed. We were sitting around the big conference table Paul liked to use when we had group discussions. We never did figure out why demons had a conference table.
I hated anything by committee but I couldn’t just run off without letting people know what I was up to. These were the people—now friends—I found living in the wilderness, refusing to give up their humanity in this inhuman world. They had stood by me and made our takeover of Rockvale possible.
“Paul, I feel a bit of an obligation to Anita.”
“Bull. You just want to go off exploring.”
“Of course I do. Doesn’t change what I said. It would be good to know our enemy before it finds us.”
“What makes you think anything cares we have this town? Knowing you, you’ll make us enemies we don’t already have.”
Izzy chuckled. “You do have a knack for that, Quentin.”
“It’s not funny,” Paul snapped
“Actually, it kind of is,” I muttered.
“Well, this needs to be a serious conversation, because whatever you do out there puts us at risk.”
Now I was feeling impatient.
“Paul, we’re in Hell. How are we ever not at risk? This is the same as when I first showed up. You want to keep the status quo just because the demons aren’t currently attacking. Each month, we go out and hunt the ones that drift back plotting to attack the town. And those are the dumb demons. Do you really think an independent human community is not going to be challenged?”
“I don’t know. But maybe, if we aren’t disruptive, we won’t have to find out.”
“I’m not here to ask your permission. I’m going. I’m giving you the courtesy of letting you know.”
Paul sighed, visibly frustrated. “Isn’t that always the way with you?”
Izzy looked up. “I’ll be going as well.”
“I think I should go too,” Kyo added.
“Preposterous!” Paul flustered. “We’d be without our chief engineer and troop leader.”
Kyo shook her head. “I’ve been thinking for some time that Quentin was right and we need to start doing wider reconnaissance. You have Taka, who can serve as both chief engineer and commander.”
“Yay. Twice the work for half the pay,” Taka joked.
Paul, who had been leaning on the table for emphasis, let his breath out and sat down. He was happier when the fight was with just me. Kyo he trusted completely. He probably knew he wasn’t going to win before, but now he knew there was no point in trying.
“How are you going to find one citizen in this God-forsaken world?”
“I don’t know, Paul. I very well understand I might not. I have to try anyway.”
“Of course you do.” Paul looked over at Kyo to see if anything had changed and then back to me. “Try not to get us killed in the process. Or, as is usually the case in this world, something worse.”
When Kyo, Izzy and I arrived back at my office, Rox was sitting on my desk and Blaise was stretched out in one of my client chairs looking peaceful and content. Leaning against him was a walking stick that had a good amount of heft to it. It had been expertly carved. No fancy designs, but you could see the workmanship in the shaping.
“A friend came calling.” Rox said playfully.
“Blaise.” I nodded. “Nice stick.
Blaise looked down and shrugged. “Taka let me have it. He’s quite a master.”
I sat down behind the desk.
“Something I can help you with?”
Blaise had fit in immediately. He seemed genuinely curious about this place and was drawn to our inner circle. He was nearly my opposite. Measured, slow, deliberate, there was a kind of Zen about the way he could sit still, seeming uninterested but taking in everything. We were enjoying having him around. The only thing that gave me pause was he never really talked about himself.
“I saw you folks go into Mr. Mayor’s little place, figured something is brewing.”
“Maybe we were just planning your surprise birthday party.”
“You don’t know my birthday.”
“True.”
“Something’s going on. I want in.”
I looked at Kyo. I knew Kyo had been observing Blaise. He had started working out with her at the gym.
“Why?”
“Getting restless already. I think you folks are too. Figured joining you was easier than following you to see what you’re up to.”
“So, what do you bring to the table?”
It was an unsubtle attempt to get him to reveal something. I do unsubtle pretty well. Blaise wasn’t falling for it.
“Perspective. I’m new here. Barely know the rules. You all be making assumptions, maybe get you killed.” He winked.
I remembered when I got here how much I had to learn. However, my lack of knowledge also allowed me to be flexible in taking risks the others wouldn’t. The real question was, could we trust Blaise? Nothing in this world was what it appeared. Maybe that really isn’t so different from when we were alive, but the consequences here were so much more deadly and we had all had our share of betrayal.
I looked at Rox. She held my gaze. Hers had been the greatest betrayal of all and yet it was nothing she chose. That is the peril of this world. It is a world of pain and illusion run by master manipulators. Trust was a rare commodity that almost always had to be based on instinct and faith. And there was no sure way to know you were right.
“I have a funny feeling that he’s coming with us whether we invite him or not.”
“Least if you invite me, you can keep your eyes on me.” Blaise looked at Kyo. She seemed to be taking measure of him.
“Izzy?”
Izzy shrugged. “We’re going away from the turf we know. Always good to have numbers.”
“Okay by me.” I said after a pause. “We will be watching.”
“Wouldn’t be prudent to do otherwise.”
“Prudent.” I raised an eyebrow.
Blaise grinned.
3.
Unfortunately, Anita was never able to give us much information about where Philip had gone. The direction he took out of town didn’t tell us much. We knew something about most of the surrounding area to the immediate west of Rockvale as we made regular patrols to wipe out demons that strayed back from the new tribal grounds. We knew the hills as well, as that is where Kyo, Izzy, Saripha and the other “citizens” had hidden out before I came along. There really was nothing Philip could have found in our territory, which was mostly wild country.
That meant crossing the mountains to the west and descending into a new region. We would find ourselves in a place where, once more, we didn’t know the rules and no longer had the protection and blessing of a Manitor. I decided we should make a quick stop to check in with Guido and Saripha to say goodbye and see if Guido had any useful observations for us. Admittedly, useful observation wasn’t his long suit.
Probably the handiest part of being in this world was being able to travel light since we didn’t need food or drink. All we had to bring were weapons. Izzy had his arrows, Kyo and I had our prototype short swords, and Blaise’s walking stick looked like it could do some damage if swung. Rox had a short slingshot pistol Taka had made for her. It looked a little like a very small crossbow and could fire
three shots without reloading. Its ammunition was rocks, which meant you didn’t have to carry much ammo with you.
As expected, the trip to Guido’s bar was uneventful. The route there was the closest thing I had seen here to a road, a wide cleared path. Kyo, who was much more traveled than the rest of us, said there were more urban settings in these realms with actual stone roadways. If there was anything around that was out to get us, they weren’t planning to be bold enough to attack us on the Manitor’s road.
We found Guido ensconced in his favorite dark booth. Since I suspected he didn’t just hang around his empty bar at all hours, I assumed that meant he was expecting us. Guido was large, maybe six foot eight, with a body that was broad-shouldered and thick around. He was large in every sense of the word if he had been a man. What he was wasn’t clear. He was humanoid with a dog’s head, like a bull terrier, but it was hard to know if his appearance was just illusion. I had the sense from Saripha that he was some very ancient kind of being and getting him to talk in a way you could understand was often a challenge.
If Blaise was startled by Guido, he didn’t show it much, although his eyes widened momentarily and then sleepily retracted. Guido wasn’t this entity’s real name. Saripha knew his real name, but it had never been used in my presence. It was what he called himself for our benefit, for reasons no one knew.
Guido cocked his head slightly and looked at Blaise. “Come here.” Guido’s voice was deep and resonant. Blaise knew it was intended for him and sat down across from Guido. That was another reason for stopping here. If what Blaise was hiding was a threat, I was hoping Guido could pick up on it.
Actually, I was hoping it wasn’t anything. Both Izzy and I had hit it off rather quickly with Blaise. We wanted him to be right for the team. Still, if he wasn’t, we wanted to know.
Guido stared at Blaise a long time. Blaise said nothing. Unlike me, Blaise was comfortable saying nothing. I always blinked. Blaise was completely relaxed, breathing deeply. Guido’s hand came up quickly and with blinding speed he had sunk a stone knife into the table between two of Blaise’s fingers. Blaise may have dropped one breath and his eye momentarily flicked to the knife. It was strange enough that he wasn’t disturbed by how alien things were here. What had given him such steady nerves, or had he also been transformed in the crossing over?